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Reload this Page Stern Master Seeks Humble Church Mouse
MEET CHRISTIAN SINGLES! Who knows? The love of your life might be here! All the single men are GODLY and all the single ladies are virgins...........for the most part.

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Default Re: Stern Master Seeks Humble Church Mouse - 09-25-2006, 08:59 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by MoonFlower View Post
PS - One question, is this a live-in position or do I return to my tree after dinner??
Well it's not like Juanita is going to need her room in their servant’s quarters behind the garage. But, you do know a Mexiskin lived in that room Moon? I mean suite yourself but what I wouldn't dream of forcing Pastor Al's granddaughter to live like that.



Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

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Default Re: Stern Master Seeks Humble Church Mouse - 09-25-2006, 09:30 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe View Post
Well it's not like Juanita is going to need her room in their servant’s quarters behind the garage. But, you do know a Mexiskin lived in that room Moon? I mean suite yourself but what I wouldn't dream of forcing Pastor Al's granddaughter to live like that.
Eeeew. Could that possibly be the cats' place? I tend to them very well, so the room will be cleaned three times daily. Do you happen to have anywhere inside I could sleep?? The couch is fine, but if you have a room that would be great BJ.

Moon

PS - Do I need a uniform of some sort, or no?


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Default Re: Stern Master Seeks Humble Church Mouse - 09-25-2006, 09:52 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by MoonFlower View Post
Eeeew. Could that possibly be the cats' place? I tend to them very well, so the room will be cleaned three times daily. Do you happen to have anywhere inside I could sleep?? The couch is fine, but if you have a room that would be great BJ.

Moon

PS - Do I need a uniform of some sort, or no?
Gee Moonflower, you know I only have a modest little eight bedroom being a bachelor and all that. On the other hand you are (almost) real people so I suppose you could use my old colored servant's Jimmy P's room since he still in State for next five years for burning that Des Moines Catlicker church. (You have no problems with black velvet paintings, do you? Jimmy P was into those)

No uniform but I assume you have something to meet the Landover Standard code of Lady's dress?



Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

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Default Re: Stern Master Seeks Humble Church Mouse - 09-25-2006, 10:33 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe View Post
Gee Moonflower, you know I only have a modest little eight bedroom being a bachelor and all that. On the other hand you are (almost) real people so I suppose you could use my old colored servant's Jimmy P's room since he still in State for next five years for burning that Des Moines Catlicker church. (You have no problems with black velvet paintings, do you? Jimmy P was into those)

No uniform but I assume you have something to meet the Landover Standard code of Lady's dress?
Wow, just eight bedrooms BJ? That sucks. I don't mind living in Jimmy's old room (although it's gonna need a serious bleach cleaning before I sleep there). I don't think sun dresses are allowed in the code of Lady's attire, right? If not, BTB could always help me out there, she's got such great teaste in clothes.

Moon


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Default Re: Stern Master Seeks Humble Church Mouse - 10-01-2006, 07:16 AM

You know, Moon, I have a few suggestions as to some 'special ingredients' to go into BJ's cooking.



Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!
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Default Re: Stern Master Seeks Humble Church Mouse - 10-01-2006, 07:29 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
You know, Moon, I have a few suggestions as to some 'special ingredients' to go into BJ's cooking.
Eye of newt and diced placenta no doubt.

I do not advise attempting to poison Brother BJ, degenerate witch. He is protected by the blood of JESUS!


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: Stern Master Seeks Humble Church Mouse - 10-01-2006, 07:33 AM

Aw, no need to worry Zeke. How about I go make you a sandwich like you're always asking for?



Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!
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Default Re: Stern Master Seeks Humble Church Mouse - 10-01-2006, 11:23 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
Aw, no need to worry Zeke. How about I go make you a sandwich like you're always asking for?
How about you bugger off and die, you satanic old habergeon?


O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Default Re: Stern Master Seeks Humble Church Mouse - 10-02-2006, 03:10 AM

Don't worry, BT.
Time will eventually perform its task. However, I'm not sure that even tomorrow (knock on wood that won't happen but still) would be soon enough for you, would it?



Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!
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One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Uber Angels Driver Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Golden Bear Award Mission Long service medal, 2nd class Aardvark Asked questions later Heart of compassion Crown of Righteousness The Crown of Crowns Crown of Glory Crown of Incorruptibility Crown of Rejoicing Crown of Life BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Mission to the Philippines Clorox Cured Me QAnon Storm Chaser Anti-Biden British Royalty

 
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Default Re: Stern Master Seeks Humble Church Mouse - 10-02-2006, 03:21 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
Don't worry, BT.
Time will eventually perform its task. However, I'm not sure that even tomorrow (knock on wood that won't happen but still) would be soon enough for you, would it?
Sweet Jesus kills off heathen scum as He sees fit.

Time is a tool for measuring things, it cannot kill you or anyone else. Surely even an empty-headed demon like you would have known that.

Jesus has called you here for some reason, though for the life of me, I cannot imagine why. He'll send you tumbling head-over-heels into the lake of fire one fine day.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.
Default Re: Stern Master Seeks Humble Church Mouse - 10-02-2006, 03:32 AM

With the passing of time, all must expire. With time comes age, and with age comes death.

And surely the reason I'm here must be that I serve as an example to you Xtians how NOT to be. Ie you can show my posts to your children and say 'look, Zeke jr (or whatever) that's what a hellbound sinner ends up like! Now you read the bible or you'll end up that way too!



Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!
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Default Re: Stern Master Seeks Humble Church Mouse - 10-02-2006, 03:42 AM

So you are one of the "everyone is here for a reason" crowd?


Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


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Default Re: Stern Master Seeks Humble Church Mouse - 10-02-2006, 03:43 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
With the passing of time, all must expire. With time comes age, and with age comes death.

And surely the reason I'm here must be that I serve as an example to you Xtians how NOT to be. Ie you can show my posts to your children and say 'look, Zeke jr (or whatever) that's what a hellbound sinner ends up like! Now you read the bible or you'll end up that way too!
And are you proud of that? Can you honestly say that you are proud to be an example of everything a God-fearing True Christian should avoid? Hve you no shame at all??


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.
Default Re: Stern Master Seeks Humble Church Mouse - 10-02-2006, 03:55 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
So you are one of the "everyone is here for a reason" crowd?
I believe we're here (on Earth) because we were BORN here. Simple old As we go along in our lives, we give to them whatever purpose as we see fit.

Quote:
And are you proud of that? Can you honestly say that you are proud to be an example of everything a God-fearing True Christian should avoid? Hve you no shame at all??
Considering all that Christianity stands for, yes.



Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!
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Default Re: Stern Master Seeks Humble Church Mouse - 10-07-2006, 09:46 PM

can't wait till you all burn in hell!! I think you should all be tortured
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Default Re: Stern Master Seeks Humble Church Mouse - 10-07-2006, 09:53 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sara View Post
can't wait till you all burn in hell!! I think you should all be tortured
Sara, we aren't going to hell. We are TRUE CHRISTIANS™. We have Heaven all to ourselves. Are you related to that other little retard Icky?


Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


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Default Re: Stern Master Seeks Humble Church Mouse - 10-08-2006, 03:24 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sara View Post
can't wait till you all burn in hell!! I think you should all be tortured
Friend,

Why all this hatred? Can't you just see we are simple people just living as God wants? Is there no room in your heart for this? Is it that cold?



Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

Hot Must ReadThreads!


Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!
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Default Re: Stern Master Seeks Humble Church Mouse - 10-08-2006, 06:28 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
Sweet Jesus kills off heathen scum as He sees fit.

Time is a tool for measuring things, it cannot kill you or anyone else. Surely even an empty-headed demon like you would have known that.

Jesus has called you here for some reason, though for the life of me, I cannot imagine why. He'll send you tumbling head-over-heels into the lake of fire one fine day.
YOU ARE SCUM YOURSELF. U SON OF THE DEVIL
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Default Re: Stern Master Seeks Humble Church Mouse - 10-08-2006, 06:29 PM

I am a prancing homer.
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