Go Back   The Landover Baptist Church Forum > Church Forums > Landover to the Rescue - Christian Help Forum
Reload this Page The Anti-Ageing Secrets of the Landover Ladies
Landover to the Rescue - Christian Help Forum A Christian Help Forum led by Sister Daisy Mae Johnson. Warning! Sometimes the Lord's advice is a hard pill to swallow.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
(#1)
Old
Ezekiel Bathfire's Avatar
Ezekiel Bathfire Ezekiel Bathfire is offline
Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance
Christ's Rottweiler
 

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Christian Love Real American™ Tithing Manager Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS True Scientist™ Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Senior Pastor Teabag Patriot TC Bravery Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant The Hatchet Child Rearing Award Ex-Brit Eats the Most Pork True Republican Ex-eurotrash Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Kirk Cameron Fan Club Nuts for JESUS! Prayer Warrior Touched by Jesus Stamp of Approval Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Mower Donald Trump 2016! Anti-sodomy Pastor Ezekiel Aardvark Bathfire Crown of Life Alternative Facts Probing for Jesus 20,000 posts Saved 10 Years Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Anti-Biden

 
Posts: 22,727
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Toiling selflessly towards Salvation
Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default The Anti-Ageing Secrets of the Landover Ladies - 04-10-2008, 10:37 AM

Few who visit our humble church can have failed to note how attractive, bright, intelligent and well-manner the Ladies of Landover are nor, and more importantly, how young they appear.

And why do they all look so young? The anti-ageing secret is something every good woman knows: housework.

Yes, housework! Are you surprised? Well, you shouldn’t be! Cleanliness is next to godliness!

And does God ask that women do all the housework? Well, He knows best and He does!

He’s keeping you ladies young and beautiful. So if you’re as wrinkled as a prune and your good looks are disappearing down the drain, if the sight of you in the morning may make your husband shudder, read on…

Quote:

A brisk bout of spring cleaning may make you happier, while regular exercise in middle age can stave off the negative effects of ageing, research published today says.

Two new studies have added to the evidence on the benefits of taking exercise. The first showed how only 20 minutes of housework or gardening a week can reduce feelings of psychological distress.

Those who managed even more exercise each week or who took part in sports had their spirits lifted even further, the study showed. Although exercise is known to boost mental health, researchers from University College London wanted to find how long people should exercise, and what type was best.
They asked 19,842 men and women taking part in the Scottish Health Survey how much exercise, and what kind of activities, they did every week. People were also quizzed about their state of mind, with 3,200 members of the group – 16 per cent – found to be suffering stress or anxiety according to a commonly used mental health scale.

The study discovered that any form of daily physical activity was linked to lower levels of distress even when factors such as age and long-term health problems were taken into account.

The range of activities shown to improve mood included housework, gardening, walking and sports. Taking part in sports each week lowered the risk of distress the most, by 33 per cent, the study found. But even walking and domestic tasks such as housework and gardening reduced distress by up to 20 per cent.

Writing in the British Journal of Sports Medicine, the authors conclude: “Mental health benefits were observed at a minimal level of at least 20 minutes each week of any physical activity, with greater risk reduction for activity at a higher intensity.”

The authors also noted that exercise cut the risk of developing diseases such as heart disease and cancer, and also depression and dementia.,
A second study published in the same journal found that regular aerobic exercise could slow down so-called “biological ageing” by 10 or 12 years.
People may also be able to retain the ability to live independently for far longer if they exercise throughout middle age and into retirement, it found.
More than 20 years ago, experts from the University of Toronto suggested that one of the most vital factors influencing the quality of life in the very old was having enough “aerobic power” to allow independent living. Their new study examined how much influence aerobic training has on a person’s risk of becoming dependent. They said: “Aerobic training can boost aerobic power . . . potentially delaying the loss of independence by as much as 10 to 12 years.”
OK ladies, that is the secret of eternal youth – let’s get on with it!





“We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

Author of such illuminating essays as,
Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

Last edited by Ezekiel Bathfire; 05-24-2008 at 09:08 PM.
Reply With Quote
(#2)
Old
Old Iron Crotch's Avatar
Old Iron Crotch Old Iron Crotch is offline
SATAN'S FAVORITE BONIFIED PERVERT!
Forum Member
 
Posts: 3,054
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Right here, right now
Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.
Default Re: The Anti-Ageing Secrets of the Landover Ladies - 04-10-2008, 12:19 PM

From what I've seen, some of the Landover men could benefit from doing a bit of housework.


Now that Obama has won the election there will be big black cock for every white woman!!!
Reply With Quote
(#3)
Old
Glendora Christianson's Avatar
Glendora Christianson Glendora Christianson is offline
Spiritual Mother of LBC
True Christian™

Long service medal, 1st class One Year/1000 posts True Christian™ Saved 5 Years True Christian Lady Real American™ Mother of 1 boy or 2.5 girls Ribfest '03 Best stoning bucket Protected by JESUS Christian Love Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Mama Grizzly Persecuted

 
Posts: 6,341
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, IA
Glendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureGlendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureGlendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureGlendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureGlendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureGlendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureGlendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureGlendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureGlendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureGlendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureGlendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapture
Default Re: The Anti-Ageing Secrets of the Landover Ladies - 04-10-2008, 12:42 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dances without Joy View Post
From what I've seen, some of the Landover men could benefit from doing a bit of housework.
My husband Elmer told me that most of my household cleaning tools, such as toilet brushes, mops, and brooms are too small for his manly hands. I keep asking the folks at Wal-Mart if they have any Men's mops and they just give me a funny look. Anyway, Elmer is very busy working on his bass boat and keeping his guns in good condition.

PS I think oven cleaner might have some type of anti-wrinkle compound. Every time I get finished with the oven, my hands and face are puffy and pink Oh and that dizzy feeling is Heavenly!


Jesus - gentle, dependable overnight relief.
Reply With Quote
(#4)
Old
Herr_Doktor Phd.'s Avatar
Herr_Doktor Phd. Herr_Doktor Phd. is offline
True Christian™
True Christian™
 
Posts: 492
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: 48 14 N 16 20 E 6:00 p.m
Herr_Doktor Phd. has bribed people to get these reputation points.Herr_Doktor Phd. has bribed people to get these reputation points.Herr_Doktor Phd. has bribed people to get these reputation points.Herr_Doktor Phd. has bribed people to get these reputation points.Herr_Doktor Phd. has bribed people to get these reputation points.Herr_Doktor Phd. has bribed people to get these reputation points.Herr_Doktor Phd. has bribed people to get these reputation points.Herr_Doktor Phd. has bribed people to get these reputation points.Herr_Doktor Phd. has bribed people to get these reputation points.Herr_Doktor Phd. has bribed people to get these reputation points.Herr_Doktor Phd. has bribed people to get these reputation points.
Default Re: The Anti-Ageing Secrets of the Landover Ladies - 04-10-2008, 12:48 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dances without Joy View Post
From what I've seen, some of the Landover men could benefit from doing a bit of housework.
Really, what a glib statement. I will let you know missy that for my age I look very youthful indeed.

I also notice that your avatar does not show a genuine picture of yourself (unlike me). You hide behind a graven image of some monkey headed hindoo idol.

Why don't you post an image of your true likeness so we can be the judge of your lifestyle choices?




Exodus 22:18
says, "Suffer not a witch to live." Deuteronomy 18:10 says, "There shall not be found among you any one that maketh his son or his daughter to pass through the fire, or that useth divination, or an observer of times, or an enchanter, or a witch."

Last edited by Herr_Doktor Phd.; 04-10-2008 at 12:49 PM. Reason: spelling
Reply With Quote
(#5)
Old
Larry Lee's Avatar
Larry Lee Larry Lee is offline
Predestinated Servant of Jesus Christ by the Will of God
True Christian™ Theologian
True Christian™

1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College One Year/1000 posts Long service medal, 1st class Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Saved 5 Years Platinum Tither Saved 10 Years Real American™ Ribfest '02 Christian Love Heaven Bound TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian The Lord’s Witness Wound Teabag Patriot Ex-liberal Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life True Republican Guns, Guts and GLORY! Trump of GOD Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Asked questions later

 
Posts: 4,420
Join Date: Sep 2006
Larry Lee will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Larry Lee will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Larry Lee will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Larry Lee will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Larry Lee will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Larry Lee will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Larry Lee will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Larry Lee will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Larry Lee will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Larry Lee will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Larry Lee will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: The Anti-Ageing Secrets of the Landover Ladies - 04-10-2008, 05:40 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ezekiel Bathfire View Post
Few who visit our humble church can have failed to note how attractive, bright, intelligent and well-manner the Ladies of Landover are nor, and more importantly, how young they appear.

And why do they all look so young? The anti-ageing secret is something every good woman knows: housework.

Yes, housework! Are you surprised? Well, you shouldn’t be! Cleanliness is next to godliness!
Excellent post, Brother. And as much as it pains me to reprimand our Godly Sister Ann Coulter, a little housework would do her more good than her current beauty regimen.


Newt

I loved Newt before Newt was invincible
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Tags
elderly, ladies of landover, pretty in pink, seniors, women aglow

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Find Additional Forums Here



Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved