The introduction forum Attention Unsaved Trash: This the ONLY subforum you can start threads in. Here is where you introduce yourself. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus. |
Unsaved trash, obese scottish mongrel
Under Investigation
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Posts: 4
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: eating haggis in bed
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Hey guy, Steve here. -
02-27-2015, 08:48 PM
Hey guy, Steve here.
I'm a big fan of my Holman Christian Standard Bible and I am hoping to be welcomed here.
I look forward to talking about scripture with you guys.
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True Christian™ Beauty Queen
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Posts: 5,447
Join Date: Dec 2007
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Re: Hey guy, Steve here. -
02-27-2015, 09:05 PM
Welcome Mr Toast. I'd also love to discuss the Bible with you, but this is your introduction thread and we still don't know a thing about you. Care to fill us in?
Let Jesus Christ Wash You Clean
in 2016
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True Christian™ Just a Regular Nice Guy
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Posts: 29,835
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Between Lynchburg and Walton's Mountain
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Re: Hey guy, Steve here. -
02-27-2015, 09:11 PM
Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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True Christian™ Lady Extraordinaire, an Honorary Male Biblicist
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Posts: 8,762
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Surrounded by heathens
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Re: Hey guy, Steve here. -
02-27-2015, 09:13 PM
Welcome, SteveonToast!
Quote:
Originally Posted by StevenToast
Hey guy.
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There are quite a lot of us, no True Chistian™ here is named Guy (as far as I can recall) and many of us are ladies.
Have a look at the top of the page: it says
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Here is where you introduce yourself. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus.
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Vaccinated by the love of Jesus!!!
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Gushing for Jesus
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Posts: 23,730
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Hey guy, Steve here. -
02-27-2015, 09:18 PM
Hi Steve, and welcome! Tell us about yourself! How many children has your wife born for you? Do you home educate them? Do you teach the boys to hunt? Do your girls treat you like their future husband? How many Purity Balls have you had the pleasure of enjoying?
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
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Unsaved trash, obese scottish mongrel
Under Investigation
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Posts: 4
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: eating haggis in bed
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Re: Hey guy, Steve here. -
02-27-2015, 09:31 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mary Etheldreda
Hi Steve, and welcome! Tell us about yourself! How many children has your wife born for you? Do you home educate them? Do you teach the boys to hunt? Do your girls treat you like their future husband? How many Purity Balls have you had the pleasure of enjoying?
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Hey Mary
I currently don't have a wife or girlfriend as I devote all my time to our lord and saviour Jesus Christ. Hypothetically, if I had children, I wouldn't educate them as I don't believe in diverting their attention from our lord and saviour, Jesus Chirst.
I hope this helps,
Steve.
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Gushing for Jesus
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Posts: 23,730
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Hey guy, Steve here. -
02-27-2015, 10:12 PM
Oh bless you, Mr. Toast! I do agree with you that nothing should distract our children's attention from fearing and obeying their Heavenly Father (Ecclesiastes 12:13). To this end, we homeschool using the King James Version Holy Bible exclusively. Ignorant children cannot serve the LORD like educated ones, and who knows, they may need to build a boat one day, or preach to the unsaved heathen afar. Amazingly, no one in the entire world knew how to build a boat when the LORD rained down the Great Flood. Noah was the only sailor at the time, having listened to God's Word and being able to discern it from drunken hallucinations. What an amazingly Righteous man. I pray my children never get caught off guard or fail to recognize the sound of the Shepherd's Voice.
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,290
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: In Jesus' lap
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Re: Hey guy, Steve here. -
02-27-2015, 11:28 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by StevenToast
I'm a big fan of my Holman Christian Standard Bible and I am hoping to be welcomed here.
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What? Holman?
The New Testament of the Holman bible is translated from the Alexandrian manuscripts rather than the Textus Receptus of the KJV Bible.
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Completely CRAZY for the Lord
True Christian™
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Posts: 14,663
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Leviticus Landing
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Re: Hey guy, Steve here. -
02-28-2015, 01:11 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by StevenToast
Hey Mary
I currently don't have a wife or girlfriend as I devote all my time to our lord and saviour Jesus Christ. Hypothetically, if I had children, I wouldn't educate them as I don't believe in diverting their attention from our lord and saviour, Jesus Chirst.
I hope this helps,
Steve.
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No, not really. I don't normally read the Holman but checked out PAGE ONE and yes, there it was:
GENESIS 1
27 So God created man in His own image;
He created him in the image of God;
He created them male and female.
28a God blessed them, and God said to them, “Be fruitful, multiply
Holman .. look up . context
Hypothetically, if you believed The Bible you would follow God's commandments. So I looked a little bit more:
PROVERBS 22
6 Teach a youth about the way he should go;
even when he is old he will not depart from it.
Holman .. look up . context
Why should I conclude other than that having rejected God's Just Commandment to be fruitful you've continued down the slippery passage to where teaching is another "mistake" made by The Creator in instructing His creation?
•.KJV here
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 213
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Bozeman, MT
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Re: Hey guy, Steve here. -
02-28-2015, 03:57 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by StevenToast
I currently don't have a wife or girlfriend as I devote all my time to our lord and saviour Jesus Christ. Hypothetically, if I had children, I wouldn't educate them as I don't believe in diverting their attention from our lord and saviour, Jesus Chirst.
I hope this helps,
Steve.
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Mr Toast, I must say you are not off to a good start. So far all you've told us that you read an adulterated version of God's Word, that you are not married and producing soldiers for Christ as God commanded, and that you can't spell.
Would it be so hard to do what the banner at the top of the thread says?
Quote:
Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus.
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Proverbs 27:15 A continual dropping in a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike.
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 1,330
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: In the kitchen
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Re: Hey guy, Steve here. -
03-01-2015, 05:58 AM
Mr. Toast,
As a married Christian lady, I must agree that your view on education is true. As I've stated before, I'm a highly educated woman; however, it is all in vain and God-mocking if I have not put it to serving Him in all I do.
However, I'm concerned about your lack of wife and children. Who does your laundry, your cooking? It's not manly to do those things yourself (that's what women are for!) and you should not live with your parents (you are an adult after all, right?). Also, more importantly, why are you using the lie-filled "bible". We all know the true Bible is a KJV Bible. Thus, don't spit on and spite Jesus with your garbage; it does not have the true commands on how to get to heaven (remember, you have to follow all of them)!
Yours in Christ,
Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson
"Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands." Proverbs 14:1
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 1,716
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: In the midst of His Will®
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Re: Hey guy, Steve here. -
03-01-2015, 07:08 AM
Ha! You just had your @$$ handed to you by a woman, Toast! How humiliating!
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 1,330
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: In the kitchen
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Re: Hey guy, Steve here. -
03-01-2015, 03:10 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Witch Hammer
Ha! You just had your @$$ handed to you by a woman, Toast! How humiliating!
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Mr. Witch Hammer,
Forgive me if I said anything out of line; I do not want to seem greater than a man ("For Adam was first formed, then Eve." 1 Timothy 2:13) but I also wanted to do my best in reprimanding him ("The blueness of a wound cleanseth away evil: so do stripes the inward parts of the belly." Proverbs 20:30).
Yours in Christ,
Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson
"Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands." Proverbs 14:1
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Unsaved trash, obese scottish mongrel
Under Investigation
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Posts: 4
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: eating haggis in bed
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Re: Hey guy, Steve here. -
03-01-2015, 09:16 PM
I have to say that I have taken quite a scuttling in this thread.
Why am I met with so much hostility? I've even received an infraction for apparently 'slathering' over Mary.
What gives guys?
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 1,716
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: In the midst of His Will®
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Re: Hey guy, Steve here. -
03-01-2015, 09:27 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by StevenToast
I have to say that I have taken quite a scuttling in this thread.
Why am I met with so much hostility? I've even received an infraction for apparently 'slathering' over Mary.
What gives guys?
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Are you not manly enough to take a few lumps for Jesus' sake?
If I were you, I would accept our kindly, well intentioned rebukes with humility. Uppityness is not a characteristic that Christ appreciates!
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Obese Swedish Meatball Delusional Forum Member
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Posts: 2,208
Join Date: May 2014
Location: On a mountain with a tree and a midgit
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Re: Hey guy, Steve here. -
03-01-2015, 09:41 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by StevenToast
I have to say that I have taken quite a scuttling in this thread.
Why am I met with so much hostility? I've even received an infraction for apparently 'slathering' over Mary.
What gives guys?
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That´s just the way it is,
Jeremiah 6:21 Therefore thus saith the LORD, Behold, I will lay stumblingblocks before this people, and the fathers and the sons together shall fall upon them; the neighbour and his friend shall perish.
Best wishes for the people in Ukraine.
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 1,716
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: In the midst of His Will®
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Re: Hey guy, Steve here. -
03-01-2015, 09:44 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson
Mr. Witch Hammer,
Forgive me if I said anything out of line; I do not want to seem greater than a man ("For Adam was first formed, then Eve." 1 Timothy 2:13) but I also wanted to do my best in reprimanding him ("The blueness of a wound cleanseth away evil: so do stripes the inward parts of the belly." Proverbs 20:30).
Yours in Christ,
Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson
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Don't worry, sister, you are blameless in this matter. I think Christ only desires you to utterly submit to real Men™, not wishy-washy effeminate abominations like this guy.
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 1,330
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: In the kitchen
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Re: Hey guy, Steve here. -
03-01-2015, 10:17 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by StevenToast
I have to say that I have taken quite a scuttling in this thread.
Why am I met with so much hostility? I've even received an infraction for apparently 'slathering' over Mary.
What gives guys?
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Mr. Steve, what you fail to realize is that we are NOT trying to hurt, rather help, Think of it this way. If you see a child try to steal something, would you encourage the child to steal, or reprimand and discipline the child in order for the child to never steal again and be a law abiding citizen. The only difference between the scenario I just presented and you, is that you are a young man, and rather than stealing, you are offending God in almost all you do, which is far worse. So, take our reprimands as help to lead you to Christ. "The blueness of a wound cleanseth away evil: so do stripes the inward parts of the belly." Proverbs 20:30 Also see "Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die." Proverbs 23:1
"Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands." Proverbs 14:1
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