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Sinner Who Has Found the Truth©
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Jesus is watching you masturbate -
02-01-2009, 02:53 PM
You young Christian males pay heed to the wisdom here, you're making Jesus cry  .
Leviticus 26:27-29
27 And if ye will not for all this hearken unto me, but walk contrary unto me;
28 Then I will walk contrary unto you also in fury; and I, even I, will chastise you seven times for your sins.
29 And ye shall eat the flesh of your sons, and the flesh of your daughters shall ye eat.
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Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate -
02-01-2009, 03:31 PM
Wow! Watch that video if your horny n you'll be cured of the itch in no time.  Scary!
um... have to change my signature... can't think of anything to put... oh well...
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Unsaved trash, Drunken aussie scum
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Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate -
02-01-2009, 03:45 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by bluefire
Wow! Watch that video if your horny n you'll be cured of the itch in no time. Scary! |
Does Jesus like to watch?
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Director of European Evangelical Outreach
A Shining Example of Christ's Love
Quite possibly the only decent, heterosexual human being in the whole of Europe
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Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate -
02-01-2009, 03:53 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by 999Dev
Does Jesus like to watch?
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You're not only a drunk Austrian scumbag, you are also a bonafied pervert.
YOU SICK PUPPY!
Psalm 81:10:
I am the LORD thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt:
open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it.
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Unsaved trash, Drunken aussie scum
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Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate -
02-01-2009, 05:34 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wide-Open
You're not only a drunk Austrian scumbag, you are also a bonafied pervert.
YOU SICK PUPPY! |
Did you mean Australian? Not that I'am. I'am a pervert though.
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Sinner Who Has Found the Truth©
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Location: Freehold, IA.
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Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate -
02-01-2009, 06:06 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by 999Dev
Did you mean Australian? Not that I am. I'm a pervert though.
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No surprise in a penal colony.
Leviticus 26:27-29
27 And if ye will not for all this hearken unto me, but walk contrary unto me;
28 Then I will walk contrary unto you also in fury; and I, even I, will chastise you seven times for your sins.
29 And ye shall eat the flesh of your sons, and the flesh of your daughters shall ye eat.
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate -
02-02-2009, 06:17 AM
An Independant Baptist Church out in Ohio (I think) uses this video at their young men's Christian Circle. It seems pretty good.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate -
02-02-2009, 05:17 PM
Awww! I love the angry scottish one! He's awesome!! Hehehe...
um... have to change my signature... can't think of anything to put... oh well...
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Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate -
02-10-2009, 10:30 PM
I agree with drunken aussie pervert. if Jesus is watching me masturbate, shouldn't he be locked up?
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,910
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate -
02-11-2009, 06:11 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by unsaved and proud
I agree with drunken aussie pervert. if Jesus is watching me masturbate, shouldn't he be locked up?
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He is the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords. I'd like to see you try and arrest Him, maggot.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate -
02-11-2009, 11:59 AM
Ok, he is the lord of lords, so that gives him the right to peep through peoples windows? Ok, he's watching me masturbate, but is the camera really necessary?
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate -
02-12-2009, 12:45 AM
In that case, it's probably not Jesus. It might be the U.S. Department of Faith collecting evidence to show to Jesus when the rapture happens.
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Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate -
02-12-2009, 03:27 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by unsaved and dim
I agree with drunken aussie pervert. if Jesus is watching me masturbate, shouldn't he be locked up?
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You are the one that should be locked up, and sent to roast forver in the fiery lakes of hell.
Touching yourself and trying to feel sensual pleasure of which is not directed towards the Lord is a sin.
You are horrid for thinking otherwise.
Praise Jesus.
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Location: Pastor Deacon Fred Hall, Landover Christian University School of Law, Freehold, Iowa, God's Country
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Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate -
02-12-2009, 05:51 AM
Glory, it's about time we had a thread dealing with this. Before I was saved, I masturbated up a storm. Sometimes three, four, or five times a day (my record was seven, but that put me out of commission for about a week). Sometimes I'd even do a quick jerk before church and then a longer, slower toss off with a Playboy (1977 Playmate of the Year edition) on Sunday afternoon. Not only was I committing the sin of Onan, but I was also not keeping the Sabbath holy, so I was doubly damned! I remember one blustry autumn Sunday afternoon, Brother Nobar and I were out in the Landover Cemetary, and... well, maybe that's a story best left untold.
Now that Jesus has come into my life, I no longer feel the urges to do all the nasty sex things that I enjoyed so much before, including masturbating. I have more free time, I'm less sleepy, I'm saving on Kleenex. Any way you look at it, turining your life over to Jesus instead of your penis gives you a life worth living. Rosie Palm and her five siblings are officially retired, and I've turned to more wholesome reading material.
Pour out thy fury upon the heathen that know thee not, and upon the families that call not on thy name.... Jeremiah 10:25
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Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate -
02-12-2009, 06:05 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ahimaaz Smith
Glory, it's about time we had a thread dealing with this. Before I was saved, I masturbated up a storm.
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Hey, Mr. Smith
God decides if you were damned or saved before you were born.
And by the looks of it, you deserve to bob in lava, you filthy, unsaved maggot.
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Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate -
02-12-2009, 06:17 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by unsaved and dim
Ok, he is the lord of lords, so that gives him the right to peep through peoples windows? Ok, he's watching me masturbate, but is the camera really necessary?
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That's not Jesus, and the call is coming from INSIDE the house!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Caucasian_Minister
Hey, Mr. Smith
God decides if you were damned or saved before you were born.
And by the looks of it, you deserve to bob in lava, you filthy, unsaved maggot.
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Brother Smith opens up, revealing his vulnerabilities, and shares a touching story of his troubled youth, and all you can do is insult him. Yet you claim to be a "minister"?
Right.
Shall I ban you now, or ban you later?
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Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate -
02-12-2009, 06:26 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by JennyD
That's not Jesus, and the call is coming from INSIDE the house!
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How dare you relate Jesus, the sin of Onan, and low budget, Hellywood crap productions. 
If you ban me, God will see that you are preventing the spreading of knowledge of His True Relgion.
SISTER! We, as people of God, need to bond together. 
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Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate -
02-12-2009, 06:31 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Caucasian_Minister
If you ban me, God will see that you are preventing the spreading of knowledge of His True Relgion.
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The stuff I've seen you spreading has nothing to do with God's Truth. 
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Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate -
03-16-2011, 05:41 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Caucasian_Minister
Hey, Mr. Smith
God decides if you were damned or saved before you were born.
And by the looks of it, you deserve to bob in lava, you filthy, unsaved maggot.
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You disgust me. ALL have fallen short of the glory of God including you. No sin is irredeemable.
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Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate -
03-16-2011, 05:47 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by JennyD
The stuff I've seen you spreading has nothing to do with God's Truth. |
Thank you  .
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