PRAYER REQUESTS Please check regularly |
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Unsaved trash, Arrogant Atheist Dick
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Posts: 14,450
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: The other end of the internet
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Re: Please Pray for Mistress Cookie -
01-27-2015, 02:43 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson
I have just seen Mistress Cookie on these forums for the first time in months and it says she is modifying her post! Hallelujah, the Lord saw it fit to give her back to us!
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That just means someone is logged into her account, possibly a Pastor or some other system administrator, or OYG* IT MIGHT BE JESUS!!!1! derp
*oh your god, because I have none
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South of the Border outreach program True Christian™
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Posts: 13,142
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Godly Midwest
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Re: Please Pray for Mistress Cookie -
01-27-2015, 02:44 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Didymus Much
That just means someone is logged into her account, possibly a Pastor or some other system administrator, or OYG IT MIGHT BE JESUS!!!1! derp
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Most probably, Faith Machine is playing with Cookie's phone.
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 1,330
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: In the kitchen
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Re: Please Pray for Mistress Cookie -
01-27-2015, 03:32 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Basilissa
Most probably, Faith Machine is playing with Cookie's phone.
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Brother Faith Machine, please let us hear from Mistress Cookie herself on her account!
"Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands." Proverbs 14:1
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,290
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: In Jesus' lap
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Re: Please Pray for Mistress Cookie -
01-27-2015, 04:12 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson
I have just seen Mistress Cookie on these forums for the first time in months and it says she is modifying her post! Hallelujah, the Lord saw it fit to give her back to us!
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It's probably that dumb old lady who's taken over her desk - what's her name? Granny July or something like that. I expect she'd be trying to hack into Mistress Cookie's account to figure out how things work. But I think she's too dumb to really succeed.
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Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 9,980
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: San Francisco, California
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Re: Please Pray for Mistress Cookie -
01-27-2015, 05:44 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Didymus Much
*oh your god, because I have none
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Funny how somebody with such large problems, such as having no God, no faith, no salvation, no King James Bible to give you succor, somebody like you, whose life is a complete hellbound mess, you have all this free time to spend worrying about me and my imagined wrongs.
Get right with Jesus, boy. Do it now!
WARNING:
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Office Temp and #1 Volunteer for Christ
Forum Member
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Posts: 74
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: The Free Bastion of FREEHOLD
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Re: Please Pray for Mistress Cookie -
01-27-2015, 08:00 PM
From the Desk of
GRANNY JUNE
Office Temp and #1 Volunteer for Christ
The church has asked me to write a memorandum to say let me look at my notes...to say the unfortunates known as Mistress Cookie and Brother F. Machine are facing being dropped from the church roll (roles?) call something something
Can't read this
Anyway, watercooler talk's I heard theres been sightings not holdups or anything but they're on the move and spotted at a Pentacostal handling of SNAKES. grainy, but Miss Cookie tried to bring .snake up to her throat BUT .....was hustled outthere's video frotage of it all and while the church sympathizes they are now out of Freehold jurystictionion for the moments time I think the long and short of it is if they're not back for a full accounting in 14 days yea the gates be forever closed on them forever so it is written in my notes
(insert scripture here)
Leviticus 24:14 Bring forth him that hath cursed without the camp; and let all that heard him lay their hands upon his head, and let all the congregation stone him.
call a pastor if you have a question i just work here Well, that's done. lunch
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Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 9,980
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: San Francisco, California
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Re: Please Pray for Mistress Cookie -
01-27-2015, 08:09 PM
Yes, yes, we accidentally visited a Pentecostal church. But we got out of there and everything is fine. COMPLETELY FINE.
There is NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT.
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Office Temp and #1 Volunteer for Christ
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Re: Please Pray for Mistress Cookie -
01-27-2015, 09:33 PM
From the Desk of
GRANNY JUNE
Office Temp and #1 Volunteer for Christ
update: POLLY reminded me again the 14-day started running last Monday so that's6 days counting today sorry it was in the church bulletin board that counts as public notice
Possessions of Brother F. and Miss C. sold at auction on Day 15 (Wed?) Off-sets cost of 2 electronic notices and training me so church coffers untouched
Arrange property viewing thru me or polly at church offices polly is best
(insert scripture here)
Haggai 2:8 The silver is mine, and the gold is mine, saith the LORD of hosts.
That is all questions in writing only please don't call
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Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
True Christian™
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Re: Please Pray for Mistress Cookie -
01-27-2015, 09:42 PM
Firstly, asset forfeiture is un-American. Secondly, I am given to understand Miss Cookie is on her way home as we speak. Thirdly, being that my primary residence is still here in scenic Pacifica, California, you're going to have one heck of a time laying your hands on my property. Heck, I'd like to see you try.
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Office Temp and #1 Volunteer for Christ
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Re: Please Pray for Mistress Cookie -
01-27-2015, 09:44 PM
sorry supposed to be in 1 post above (2nd notice) doesn't want to attach
(insert scripture here) take out this time
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Re: Please Pray for Mistress Cookie -
01-27-2015, 10:11 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Faith_Machine
you're going to have one heck of a time laying your hands on my property. Heck, I'd like to see you try.
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Do you really think that will bother them?
2 Samuel 22:3 The God of my rock; in him will I trust: he is my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my high tower, and my refuge, my saviour; thou savest me from violence.
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Re: Please Pray for Mistress Cookie -
01-27-2015, 10:15 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Granny June
update: POLLY reminded me again the 14-day started running last Monday so that's6 days counting today sorry it was in the church bulletin board that counts as public notice
Possessions of Brother F. and Miss C. sold at auction on Day 15 (Wed?)
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No, day 15 would be Tuesday, you poor dumb woman. Take your shoes off and use your toes to count if you have to. Just do it in private. No one else wants to see your manky feet.
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Office Temp and #1 Volunteer for Christ
Forum Member
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Posts: 74
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Location: The Free Bastion of FREEHOLD
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Re: Please Pray for Mistress Cookie -
01-27-2015, 10:52 PM
From the Desk of
GRANNY JUNE
Office Temp and #1 Volunteer for Christ
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jim Farmer
No, day 15 would be Tuesday...use your toes to count if you have to. Just do it in private...
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PUBLIC NOTICE special for brother J. "That's uncalled for" come volunteering to run office adding machine would be the solution not ad-humus attacks.
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,290
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Re: Please Pray for Mistress Cookie -
01-27-2015, 11:52 PM
A "humus ad" would be
or maybe you mean "hummus"?
But I'm not attacking either
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Office Temp and #1 Volunteer for Christ
Forum Member
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Posts: 74
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Re: Please Pray for Mistress Cookie -
01-28-2015, 04:38 AM
From the Desk of
GRANNY JUNE
Office Temp and #1 Volunteer for Christ
Obviously, i meant ad-hummable attacks. look it up
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Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 9,980
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Location: San Francisco, California
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Re: Please Pray for Mistress Cookie -
01-28-2015, 04:46 AM
Yeah, that's one of those logical fallacies. Something liberals and atheists engage in all the time when they realize they can't debate us on the facts.
WARNING:
In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,290
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: In Jesus' lap
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Re: Please Pray for Mistress Cookie -
01-28-2015, 10:25 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Granny June
PUBLIC NOTICE special for brother J. "That's uncalled for" come volunteering to run office adding machine would be the solution not ad-humus attacks.
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Do you know how to turn an adding machine on? I wonder if the church's finances might extend to getting you one of these:
Unfortunately for you, it won't 'hum'.
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True Christian™ Lady Extraordinaire, an Honorary Male Biblicist
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Posts: 8,762
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Surrounded by heathens
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Re: Please Pray for Mistress Cookie -
01-28-2015, 10:40 PM
Give her a break, Brother Jim. I'm sure it can't be easy for an elderly woman to run the office at such short notice, especially given Cookie's slightly unusual filing system.
June, my husband has a question about the latest credit to his tithing account statement, which is out by about 50% and NOT in his (or LBC's) favor. The UK pound is not equivalent to the US dollar. Should I address my query to you or to Polly, or would it be better to go direct to Pastor Zeke?
Vaccinated by the love of Jesus!!!
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,290
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: In Jesus' lap
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Re: Please Pray for Mistress Cookie -
01-28-2015, 10:48 PM
I'm just trying to help the old dolt, Sister Joanna.
You see, if she had one of those machines, she wouldn't have got your husband's tithing wrong.
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Forum Member
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Posts: 1,330
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Location: In the kitchen
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Re: Please Pray for Mistress Cookie -
01-29-2015, 02:30 AM
If I wasn't married and busy serving my husband, I would volunteer. However, he has commanded otherwise, and I must obey. Ephesians 5:22 Granny June, would you like a manual for women on how to use a computer? Soon before joining these forums, my father gave it to me and it helped.
"Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands." Proverbs 14:1
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