Go Back   The Landover Baptist Church Forum > Church Forums > Landover Baptist Lounge
Reload this Page Is this a Christian Product?
Landover Baptist Lounge Relax, Kick your shoes off. Praise Jesus!!! (Blacks and Homosexuals strictly prohibited!)

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
(#1)
Old
Titus Templeton's Avatar
Titus Templeton Titus Templeton is offline
Director of the German "Holy-caust" Evangelical Crusade
Jesus macht frei
True Christian™

Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound Ready for the Rapture True Christian™ Christian Love Real American™ Ex-Masturbator True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Gold Tither Porn Resistant Persecuted Pro-Life One Year/1000 posts True Christian Artist True Republican Ex-eurotrash Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Prayer Warrior Touched by Jesus Public Awareness Medal Saved 5 Years Anti-sodomy Pastor Ezekiel Heart of compassion Eats the Most Pork Truck Stop Ministry Member Donald Trump 2016! Mower Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 5,914
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Black Forrest, Germany
Titus Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Titus Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Titus Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Titus Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Titus Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Titus Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Titus Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Titus Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Titus Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Titus Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Titus Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Is this a Christian Product? - 05-06-2015, 03:52 PM

I think it has its advantages. If u want to be sure to not touch stuff that is filthy...

Reply With Quote
(#2)
Old
John Creeser's Avatar
John Creeser John Creeser is offline
Warning: In case of Rapture, this account will be unmanned.
 

Ready for the Rapture Heaven Bound True Christian™ Real American™ Ex-Masturbator Friend of Jesus True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Flat Earth Tell her once Protected by JESUS One Year/1000 posts Bronze Tither Porn Resistant Pro-Life Persecuted Christian Love 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Eats the Most Pork True Republican Super Soaker Baptism Award Sons of Liberty Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award True Christian Hotrodder Kirk Cameron Fan Club Paula Deen Negro Support Group Touched by Jesus Babysitter True Christian Artist Saved 5 Years Long service medal, 3rd class 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Mower Stamp of Approval Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Pastor Ezekiel Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Barney BFF of Jesus

 
Posts: 7,220
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Freehold, Iowa
John Creeser will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!John Creeser will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!John Creeser will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!John Creeser will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!John Creeser will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!John Creeser will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!John Creeser will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!John Creeser will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!John Creeser will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!John Creeser will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!John Creeser will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Is this a Christian Product? - 05-06-2015, 08:33 PM

I don't know Brother Templeton.....it kind of looks sinful to me. However, in the Creeser household, we've never used toilet paper.

Matthew 15:17-20

17 Do not ye yet understand, that whatsoever entereth in at the mouth goeth into the belly, and is cast out into the draught?

18 But those things which proceed out of the mouth come forth from the heart; and they defile the man.

19 For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies:

20 These are the things which defile a man: but to eat with unwashen hands defileth not a man.
Reply With Quote
(#3)
Old
Mary Etheldreda's Avatar
Mary Etheldreda Mary Etheldreda is offline
Gushing for Jesus
 

Protected by JESUS Christian Love Heaven Bound Ready for the Rapture Cleanest Kitchen Ex-Mary Worshipper True Christian™ Real American™ True Christian Caucasian Persecuted Pro-Life Most Obedient Friend of Jesus True Christian Homemaker True Christian Beauty 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College True Republican Mother of 1 boy or 2.5 girls Quiverful Mother of 2 boys or 5 girls Super Soaker Baptism Award 3rd Year Bible College One Year/1000 posts True Christian Lady Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Tomato Staker Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club Saved 1 Year Prayer Warrior The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking The Hatchet Child Rearing Award 4th Year Bible College Paula Deen Negro Support Group TC Bravery Touched by Jesus Heart of compassion Babysitter Stamp of Approval Home Schooled Trump of GOD Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch The Lord’s Witness Wound The Lord’s Witness Wound Donald Trump 2016! Trumpette Anti-sodomy Mama Grizzly Platinum Tither Best stoning bucket 2015 Witch Hunt Award Hands Off Pastor Ezekiel Crown of Glory Crown of Rejoicing Saved 5 Years BFF of Jesus Gunfest '14 Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts 20,000 posts Crown of Righteousness Flat Earth Anti-abortion GLORY Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Anti-Biden Public Awareness Medal

 
Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Is this a Christian Product? - 05-06-2015, 09:17 PM

We don't use paper products in the Etheldreda home. Instead we use reusable cloth for all our hygienic needs. As dedicated preppers (prepared for any and all emergencies, such as Obama invading states like Texas), we are equipped to handle living "off the grid," and refuse to be dependent upon Chinese slave labor (we prefer prison labor - keeping the profits at home).


Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

Reply With Quote
(#4)
Old
Billy Bob Jenkins's Avatar
Billy Bob Jenkins Billy Bob Jenkins is offline
Family Man of the Year 2010-2013
About as Straight and Manly as you can get
Hates anal sex. And trees.
True Christian™

True Christian™ Protected by JESUS True Christian Caucasian Christian Love Ready for the Rapture Ex-Masturbator Parking Lot Tither True Christian Provider™ award Punched the most queers Real American™ The Lord’s Witness Wound Heaven Bound Home Schooled True Christian Hotrodder Teabag Patriot The Hatchet Child Rearing Award One Year/1000 posts Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life True Republican Ex-treehugger Sons of Liberty Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior Mission to Korea Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 8,323
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Protecting my children from homosexuals
Billy Bob Jenkins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Billy Bob Jenkins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Billy Bob Jenkins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Billy Bob Jenkins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Billy Bob Jenkins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Billy Bob Jenkins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Billy Bob Jenkins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Billy Bob Jenkins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Billy Bob Jenkins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Billy Bob Jenkins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Billy Bob Jenkins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Is this a Christian Product? - 05-07-2015, 12:11 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mary Etheldreda View Post
we are equipped to handle living "off the grid," and refuse to be dependent upon Chinese slave labor (we prefer prison labor - keeping the profits at home).
Chinese slave labor is such a cruel practice, mainly because the Chinese are so small. It makes much more sense to use buck nigras since they were descended from Canaan.


The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!
Reply With Quote
(#5)
Old
Alvin Moss's Avatar
Alvin Moss Alvin Moss is offline
Serving Jesus
True Christian™

Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound Ready for the Rapture True Christian™ Christian Love Real American™ True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Proud Niglet Sponsorer Touched by Jesus One Year/1000 posts Ex-Masturbator Friend of Jesus Sons of Liberty Porn Resistant Early riser Tell her once Persecuted Bronze Tither Punched the most queers Mission to Korea Trump of GOD True Republican Donald Trump 2016! 2015 Witch Hunt Award Prayer Warrior Kirk Cameron Fan Club Hands Off True Heterosexual™ 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College Nuke of Heaven Crown of Glory Mower Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Gunfest '14 Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Wall of Jesus Crown of Incorruptibility Alternative Facts Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Anti-Biden

 
Posts: 4,470
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Godly Texas, Besieged by Papist Idol Worshippers
Alvin Moss will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Alvin Moss will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Alvin Moss will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Alvin Moss will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Alvin Moss will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Alvin Moss will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Alvin Moss will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Alvin Moss will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Alvin Moss will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Alvin Moss will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Alvin Moss will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Is this a Christian Product? - 05-07-2015, 12:58 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mary Etheldreda View Post
(prepared for any and all emergencies, such as Obama invading states like Texas)

Yes, the truth has come to light. The schemes of the Yankees can not be long hid. Our governor here in Texas is on to these heathens and he has bid the Texas National Guard to look into these crimes and keep an eye on the Yankees. If they try any monkey business, they will get a taste of God's wrath and the wrath of the Texans thrown in for good measure. God is on our side.


God judgeth the righteous, And God is angry with the wicked every day- Psalm 7:11
Reply With Quote
(#6)
Old
Jim Farmer's Avatar
Jim Farmer Jim Farmer is offline
True Christian™
True Christian™

Protected by JESUS Ready for the Rapture Tell her once True Christian Caucasian True Christian™ Christian Love Heaven Bound Ex-Masturbator Friend of Jesus Kangi 2014 Witch Hunt Award 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College One Year/1000 posts Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Mower Persecuted Trump of GOD Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Hands Off Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Super Soaker Baptism Award Pastor Ezekiel

 
Posts: 2,290
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: In Jesus' lap
Jim Farmer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jim Farmer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jim Farmer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jim Farmer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jim Farmer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jim Farmer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jim Farmer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jim Farmer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jim Farmer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jim Farmer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jim Farmer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Is this a Christian Product? - 05-07-2015, 01:10 AM

I can't see why you'd want to use toilet paper on your back - "it's as easy to use as a shower brush".


Reply With Quote
(#7)
Old
Pastor Ezekiel's Avatar
Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Uber Angels Driver Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Golden Bear Award Mission Long service medal, 2nd class Aardvark Asked questions later Heart of compassion Crown of Righteousness The Crown of Crowns Crown of Glory Crown of Incorruptibility Crown of Rejoicing Crown of Life BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Mission to the Philippines Clorox Cured Me QAnon Storm Chaser Anti-Biden British Royalty

 
Posts: 79,910
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Is this a Christian Product? - 05-07-2015, 02:45 AM

I don't need such devilish devices. That's what my 14 year old Indonesian houseboy is for.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
Reply With Quote
(#8)
Old
WilliamJenningsBryan's Avatar
WilliamJenningsBryan WilliamJenningsBryan is offline
True Christian™
 

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Real American™ Gold Tither Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS TC Bravery Christian Love Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Nerd True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Home Schooled Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life True Republican Eats the Most Pork Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Prayer Warrior Early riser Touched by Jesus Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Donald Trump 2016! Anti-sodomy Pastor Ezekiel Crown of Righteousness Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire

 
Posts: 9,361
Join Date: Jan 2007
WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Is this a Christian Product? - 05-07-2015, 06:17 AM

I'm extremely suspicious of this device. Consider those mechanical "fingers" on the end and what use the homers would put it to in giving themselves anal pleasures. And Lord knows what perversions the lezbeans would come up with.

If we had a True Christian™ in the White House he would instruct the Consumer Product Safety Commission to pull the product from the market.


Hell's foundations quiver at the shout of praise;
brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
...and get off my lawn
Reply With Quote
(#9)
Old
Elmer G. White's Avatar
Elmer G. White Elmer G. White is offline
Distinguished Professor of Prayer Healing and Creation Zoology (Baraminology)
Victim of atheist scientific persecution
 

Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound Friend of Jesus Christian Love True Christian™ Touched by Jesus Persecuted Honorary Ex-Eskimo Ex-Scandinavian Ex-eurotrash True Scientist™ 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Doctor Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture Flat Earth Prayer Warrior Ex-Masturbator Tell her once True Christian Caucasian Real American™ Porn Resistant The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking One Year/1000 posts 2014 Witch Hunt Award Mower Mission to Korea Uber Angels Driver Trump of GOD Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Mission to Messico Saved 1 Year Platinum Tither Eats the Most Pork True Heterosexual™ 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Crown of Glory BFF of Jesus Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Crown of Righteousness Alternative Facts True Christian Nerd GLORY Saved 5 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Get Behind Me Doctor - NO TEAM FORTRESS! Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Polling for Christ Anti-Biden Midget porn survivor

 
Posts: 10,337
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: On a mission in Godless Europistan
Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Jesus Re: Is this a Christian Product? - 05-07-2015, 06:50 AM

One of the most revolting signs of the End of Days is that the Biblical advice on restroom manners has been all but forgotten. I am certain that with a proper Biblical diet of clean meats the intestinal contents would be of a consistency that is just of the correct viscosity and firmness to pass the unfortunate but necessary anal canal without staining the surrounding skin at all. Thus, all use of paper or other appliances can be avoided.

In addition, the proper way of going to the restroom is to select a spot that is a proper distance from the house and dig a hole with a paddle, squat there (thus, your gluteal region is spread sufficiently wide to allow for the non-staining passage of the intestinal contents, again, making restroom paper unnecessary). The hole can them be covered until next time.

Deuteronomy 23:12-13:
Thou shalt have a place also without the camp, whither thou shalt go forth abroad: And thou shalt have a paddle upon thy weapon; and it shall be, when thou wilt ease thyself abroad, thou shalt dig therewith, and shalt turn back and cover that which cometh from thee:


This is what I do at home and I've taught this method also to my sons.




Yours in Christ,

Elmer


2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.



PREPARE YOURSELF TO RAPTURE WITH THIS MANUAL!
Check out our Research in Creation Science:
Reply With Quote
(#10)
Old
Nobar King's Avatar
Nobar King Nobar King is offline
Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58
Christ's Guardian
True Christian™

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ True Christian Provider™ award Ribfest '07 Christian Love Tin Tither Real American™ Cleanest Kitchen Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award True Christian Hotrodder Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian True Christian Nerd TC Bravery Ex-liberal Ex-Christ-Killer Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Saved 5 Years Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life 20,000 posts Eats the Most Pork True Republican Divorcee Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Early riser Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior Touched by Jesus Grammar Nazi Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off Pastor Ezekiel Cup of Jesus Trump of GOD Donald Trump 2016! Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Mostly on the front porch.
Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Is this a Christian Product? - 05-07-2015, 07:10 AM

Seems un-necessary, but I do want the suction cup handle that is advertised at the end of the video. If anyone gets one of them and doesn't need it, please send me a P.M.


May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Find Additional Forums Here



Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved