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Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah You kids get off his lawn!
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Posts: 22,438
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Close to God
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Eastwooding with Jesus Christ! -
08-31-2012, 09:44 AM
Eastwooding with Jesus Christ!
Yesterday Clint Eastwood made me proud to be a Republican by showing America how Obama destroyed America. Since Obama, who we all know to be a coward, refused to face Eastwood, Clint used an empty chair instead. Not much of a difference as Obama would have been unable to talk after Clint's great speech anyway. Also this enriched the American language with a new word: Eastwooding. Making your point by talking to an empty chair. Twotter, or whatever they call it, seems to be full of it.
I am very glad this happened as I am certain it will put a rest to people mocking me for using an empty chair to talk to Jesus Christ. I have been doing this for years now and keep getting insulted for it. I hope it is now finally clear that I am not a senile crazy old man yelling at a chair, but a visionary! I am certain from now on everyone will start talking to empty chairs to make their point.
Clint vs Obama:
The chair I use for Eastwooding with Jesus Christ:
The Nazi liberal media mocking Clint Eastwood:
Freedom means voting for Donald Trump!
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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As pure and virginal as the driven snow.
True Christian™
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Posts: 4,883
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Eastwooding with Jesus Christ! -
08-31-2012, 09:59 AM
I just told my empty Jesus chair I love Him. Then I got on my knees and kissed the chair's legs.
I Jesus!
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Psychotheological Analyst Therapist
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Posts: 9,051
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Surrounded by queers.
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Re: Eastwooding with Jesus Christ! -
08-31-2012, 10:14 AM
The next time I have a gap between patients I will make use of the empty chair to let my thoughts be known.
YIC
1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.
Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.
Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.
Last edited by Professor Bessemer; 08-31-2012 at 04:19 PM.
Reason: Fixed typo in the name of the Lord.
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Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance Christ's Rottweiler
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Posts: 22,742
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Toiling selflessly towards Salvation
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Re: Eastwooding with Jesus Christ! -
08-31-2012, 10:36 AM
It's all symbolic, metaphorical, if you will. It is OK to symbolize Obama by an empty chair as, all things considered, the man has done nothing.
However, when it comes to Jesus, there MUST be something there - a sheep (symbolizing the Lamb of God) is not too convenient. I tried this some time back; a table was broken and the damn thing half ate a cushion.
Graven images are for pagans and catlix, so they're out. I suggest an empty suit that captures how God "reclothes us in our rightful minds"* and is invisible.
I can think of no more sensible way of having a conversation with The Almighty.
*
Dear Lord And Father Of Mankind Hymn
Dear Lord and Father of mankind,
Forgive our foolish ways!
Re-clothe us in our rightful mind,
In purer lives thy service find,
In deeper reverence praise.
http://www.hymns.me.uk/dear-lord-and...nkind-hymn.htm
and for some guidance I found this sermon: http://www.welwyn.org.uk/index.php?o...mons&Itemid=82
(There's some fluffy-bunniness about it as it is C of E but the sentiment is there.)
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 1,074
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: On my way to Heaven!
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Re: Eastwooding with Jesus Christ! -
08-31-2012, 11:04 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ezekiel Bathfire
However, when it comes to Jesus, there MUST be something there - a sheep (symbolizing the Lamb of God) is not too convenient. I tried this some time back; a table was broken and the damn thing half ate a cushion.
Graven images are for pagans and catlix, so they're out. I suggest an empty suit that captures how God "reclothes us in our rightful minds"* and is invisible.
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What about an inflatable sheep?
"And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free."
John 8:32
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Director of the German "Holy-caust" Evangelical Crusade Jesus macht frei
True Christian™
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Posts: 5,914
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Black Forrest, Germany
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Re: Eastwooding with Jesus Christ! -
08-31-2012, 01:01 PM
Eastwood would easily beat Obama in a duel. He has Jesus on his side.
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,910
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Eastwooding with Jesus Christ! -
08-31-2012, 02:15 PM
I have it on good authority that President Romney is planning on putting Clint Eastwood in charge of the U.S. military.
All of our foreign problems will soon be over.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Landover Security Superviser Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
True Christian™
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Posts: 18,554
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold Iowa
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Re: Eastwooding with Jesus Christ! -
08-31-2012, 02:49 PM
I noticed that Obama couldn't be bothered to say anything the whole time Eastwood was talking. Obama is just stuck up. Nothing like Jesus.
Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.
Hot Must ReadThreads!
Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!
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One of the Lord's Airborne Rangers Salvation from Above God's Favorite Pilot™
True Christian™
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Posts: 6,282
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Flying the Friendly Skies for Jesus!
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Re: Eastwooding with Jesus Christ! -
08-31-2012, 04:48 PM
My favorite part of that great speech by Brother Eastwood was when he opened up a can of whoop-ass on that stupid Obama chair and blamed him for his war in Afghanistan.
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Godly Clint Eastwood, Arguing with an Empty Chair that was a Stand-in for that Warmonger President Obama, on Live Television
I know you were against the war in Iraq, and that’s okay. But you thought the war in Afghanistan was OK. You know, I mean — you thought that was something worth doing. We didn’t check with the Russians to see how they did it — they did theirs for 10 years.
But we did it, and it is something to be thought about, and I think that, when we get to maybe — I think you’ve mentioned something about having a target date for bringing everybody home. You gave that target date, and I think Mr. Romney asked the only sensible question, you know, he says, “Why are you giving the date out now? Why don’t you just bring them home tomorrow morning?”
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See that? He speaks the truth from his heart! The DEMONcrats are the ones to blame for our soldiers getting blown up in Afghanistan.
The Republucans just want to bring them home!
Winging our Way Across the World for The Lord!
God Bless John Boehner and God Bless the Grand Old Party!
Barack Hussein Obama is not My President!!!
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Honorary True Christian™
Forum Member
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Posts: 13,993
Join Date: May 2008
Location: North Salem, Indiana
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Re: Eastwooding with Jesus Christ! -
08-31-2012, 11:07 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Helge
What about an inflatable sheep?
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That would represent the entire audience at the coming Demoncratic National Coven, wouldn't it?
Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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Unsaved trash, filthy blasphemous foreigner
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 123
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: peeing in Christ's cornflakes
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Re: Eastwooding with Jesus Christ! -
09-01-2012, 08:50 PM
re you piffleing KIDDING ME!!!...How the HELL was Obama supposed to "face Eastwood" at a REPUBLICAN NATIONAL CONVENTION?....you are absolutely NUTS...Eastwood made a bigger fool out of himself than I already thought he waqs politically....He is a GREAT "actoor" and he was simply "acting" then...politically, he is a clown just a s YOU are a clown politically. Obama hasn't "destroyed" anything!1!.....you are simply parroting your Faux News buddies and your idols like Limpdick and Glenn Peckerhead
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Unsaved trash, Arrogant Atheist Dick
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Posts: 14,455
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: The other end of the internet
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Re: Eastwooding with Jesus Christ! -
09-01-2012, 09:12 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by tom kinight
...[FONT=Comic Sans MS]...
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TCS*;dr.
*too comic sans
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Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah You kids get off his lawn!
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Posts: 22,438
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Close to God
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Re: Eastwooding with Jesus Christ! -
09-02-2012, 12:00 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by tom kinight
How the HELL was Obama supposed to "face Eastwood" at a REPUBLICAN NATIONAL CONVENTION?
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So you are confirming what I already said, Obama is a coward. We don't want a coward for president!
Freedom means voting for Donald Trump!
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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Landover Security Superviser Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
True Christian™
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Posts: 18,554
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold Iowa
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Re: Eastwooding with Jesus Christ! -
09-02-2012, 02:39 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cranky Old Man
So you are confirming what I already said, Obama is a coward. We don't want a coward for president!
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Well that's what you get when you elect an attorney as president.
Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.
Hot Must ReadThreads!
Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,910
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Eastwooding with Jesus Christ! -
09-02-2012, 05:10 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe
Well that's what you get when you elect an attorney as president.
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Wait a minute...How could Obama be an attorney? He's a nigra.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Descended from Rapes
True Christian™
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Posts: 1,548
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Freehold Bible Campground and RV Park.
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Re: Eastwooding with Jesus Christ! -
09-02-2012, 06:13 PM
I wish I had that invisible Obama right here. I would kick the living shir out of him. Unfortunately I don't see him around anywhere.
Leviticus 13:40 And the man whose hair is fallen off his head, he is bald; yet is he clean.
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Unsaved trash, Arrogant Atheist Dick
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Posts: 14,455
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: The other end of the internet
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Re: Eastwooding with Jesus Christ! -
09-02-2012, 07:15 PM
The invisible Romney in my living room is still refusing to release his tax records.
And I think his invisible wives just smoked half my stash.
Mr. Rmoney, release the records and give me my pot back.
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,910
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Eastwooding with Jesus Christ! -
09-02-2012, 08:05 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Didymus Much
The invisible Romney in my living room is still refusing to release his tax records.
And I think his invisible wives just smoked half my stash.
Mr. Rmoney, release the records and give me my pot back.
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You know mockery is the lowest form of humor. You really should be ashamed, but I know that atheistic scum like you don't have any.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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True Christian™ Just a Regular Nice Guy
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Posts: 29,835
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Between Lynchburg and Walton's Mountain
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Re: Eastwooding with Jesus Christ! -
09-02-2012, 09:02 PM
I like to sit in my Jesus chair, imagining I am like Adam, when God created him. Sitting there, on the Lap of Jesus©, feeling His love for me growing.
Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 1,074
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: On my way to Heaven!
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Re: Eastwooding with Jesus Christ! -
09-03-2012, 06:37 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Didymus Much
The invisible Romney in my living room is still refusing to release his tax records.
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Oh yes he has - unfortunately for you the records are also invisible.
"And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free."
John 8:32
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