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The Poetaster's Korner Tasteful poetry for JESUS but don't let the flowers fool you. NO HOMERS ALLOWED!

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Default Re: Epistle to Izaak Walton - 12-03-2006, 09:38 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
I like it! But I remember the closing, possibly incorrectly, as "Yr Ob'd't, & etc."
I love the stuff from a more Polite time: "We are in receipt of your offensive missive...."
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Default Re: Epistle to Izaak Walton - 12-03-2006, 09:57 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sister Sue Vera View Post
I love the stuff from a more Polite time: "We are in receipt of your offensive missive...."


Well, if you can wade through the new poem just placed at the bottom of the previous page,

and if you are curious enough to look up Robert Gould and also that Lord of Dorset,

you'll learn that people were never truly polite.
That'd be no fun at all.

Oh, the scamps! They were running the show.
Calvinism was about to clamp down on it all;
not perfectly, but enough

to kill the joy for a few hundred years.

I do think that Jesus laughed with them, quite a lot!
I don't think Jesus has laughed once in the past century, though.

It has all gone so badly lately.

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Default Re: Epistle to Izaak Walton - 12-03-2006, 11:50 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Poetic Peter View Post
I don't think Jesus has laughed once in the past century, though.
You are Correct, Brother, I don't think that The Christ has had a really Good belly-laugh or even a hardy-har-har in many years now.

However, I do think I heard him snickering around the Malls on Black Friday when Mothers were clawing each others' eyes out trying to get one of the few PlayStation3s that were offered for sale at $600
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Default Re: Critical Inputs Forum no.1 - 12-04-2006, 08:21 AM

Well, in an effort to understand what's going on in here, I googled a bit and found this.
http://www.voicesofchrist.org/

This is where you people are heading! I warned you!
I can't cut and paste anything, but you look carefully at that page!


Matthew:
5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled
10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.


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Default Re: Critical Inputs Forum no.1 - 12-04-2006, 11:43 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by eliot mayfield View Post
Well, in an effort to understand what's going on in here, I googled a bit and found this.
http://www.voicesofchrist.org/

This is where you people are heading! I warned you!
I can't cut and paste anything, but you look carefully at that page!
PRAISE for you, Brother! PRAISE for God's Good-Doers.
Thank you for this discovery.
I never knew of these wonderful people:
Poet Christians in league with the Lord.

I will Gadwin Printscreen
(freeware on the web) some small excerpts of the best poems and poets' intros. and place them here.

Surely we can try,
try to equal the quality of that site's Godly artists.

Thank you Brother Elliot. You are appreciated everywhere, but nowhere more than in the hearts of Jesus Christ's most loving poets.


http://www.gadwin.com/printscreen/
http://imageshack.us/
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Default Re: Critical Inputs Forum no.1 - 12-04-2006, 11:44 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by eliot mayfield View Post
Well, in an effort to understand what's going on in here, I googled a bit and found this.
http://www.voicesofchrist.org/

This is where you people are heading! I warned you!
I can't cut and paste anything, but you look carefully at that page!
I couldn't possibly agree more with you Brother Eliot. Giving an "open mic" to nigras is just asking for trouble. If this is where this poetry nonsense leads, then we need to turn back to GOD!


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

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Default Re: Critical Inputs Forum no.1 - 12-04-2006, 12:04 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
I couldn't possibly agree more with you Brother Eliot.
Giving an "open mic" to nigras is just asking for trouble.
If this is where this poetry nonsense leads, then we need to turn back to GOD!
OH. You know what, friends? He's right.
My face is red. They are not white.
I did find one brown among the blacks.

http://www.voicesofchrist.org/Poetry...a_morales.html




(snip)





So never mind. Her poem is not good.
It could drive lemmings off cliffs, it's so not good.

She means well and is great to look at,
which is why I chose to highlight the God-given talents of Magdalena:
makeup and making babies. And wallowing. Lots.
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Default Re: Critical Inputs Forum no.1 - 12-04-2006, 12:09 PM

38 year old single mom and grandmother!!!???
Harlot!
Poetry is bad news it seems.


Matthew:
5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled
10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.


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Default Re: Critical Inputs Forum no.1 - 12-04-2006, 12:28 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by eliot mayfield View Post
38 year old single mom and grandmother!!!???
Harlot!
Poetry is bad news it seems.
...and she's probably a nigra lover to boot. That is the only explanation...God hates the mongrelization of the races!

Quote:
Numbers 25:6 And, behold, one of the children of Israel came and brought unto his brethren a Midianitish woman in the sight of Moses, and in the sight of all the congregation of the children of Israel, who were weeping before the door of the tabernacle of the congregation.
25:7 And when Phinehas, the son of Eleazar, the son of Aaron the priest, saw it, he rose up from among the congregation, and took a javelin in his hand;
25:8 And he went after the man of Israel into the tent, and thrust both of them through, the man of Israel, and the woman through her belly. So the plague was stayed from the children of Israel.
25:9 And those that died in the plague were twenty and four thousand.
25:10 And the LORD spake unto Moses, saying,
25:11 Phinehas, the son of Eleazar, the son of Aaron the priest, hath turned my wrath away from the children of Israel, while he was zealous for my sake among them, that I consumed not the children of Israel in my jealousy.
25:12 Wherefore say, Behold, I give unto him my covenant of peace:
25:13 And he shall have it, and his seed after him, even the covenant of an everlasting priesthood; because he was zealous for his God, and made an atonement for the children of Israel.
Praise Jesus, this proves that poetry is unGodly.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

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Default exampling a non-wallowing Christian poem - 12-04-2006, 12:32 PM

Landover poets, a new and small thing
made to contrast with Ms. Morales' maudlin simper.

I began to start a second strophe.
Then a voice said to me,
"Stop. it is perfect."




Our Modern Crusade

In righteousness in our Iraq
are Christian men unbending
except when it comes time to pray
"Lord help us in our mending."




Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
...and she's probably a nigra lover to boot. That is the only explanation...God hates the mongrelization of the races!



Praise Jesus, this proves that poetry is unGodly.
Yes, but inasmuch as I have not been knocked up,
and used to always wear a "helmet" when I went out "racing",
my poetry pains no one but sinful repentant readers.

God approves of men making Christian poetry,
otherwise he would have made us mothers
pregnant at fourteen.

(knock on wood)
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Default Re: Critical Inputs Forum no.1 - 12-04-2006, 06:21 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Poetic Peter View Post
OH. You know what, friends? He's right.
My face is red. They are not white.
I did find one brown among the blacks.

http://www.voicesofchrist.org/Poetry...a_morales.html




(snip)

So never mind. Her poem is not good.
It could drive lemmings off cliffs, it's so not good.

She means well and is great to look at,
which is why I chose to highlight the God-given talents of Magdalena:
makeup and making babies. And wallowing. Lots.
This woman sounds like a harlot and a goth to boot, and what's worse, she is probably related to that despicable drug-addled Bolivian Communist Emo Morales. Jesus disapproves on at least four different levels.


O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Default Re: Critical Inputs Forum no.1 - 12-04-2006, 07:14 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Temperance View Post
This woman sounds like a harlot and a goth to boot, and what's worse, she is probably related to that despicable .
drug-addled Bolivian Communist Emo Morales.
Jesus disapproves on at least four different levels.


Pray thee Brother Temperance,
what would these four ways be?


(please amplify in a verse--you verse so very well)


Thanks for poetry--for distilling truths, as does the Bible's verse.


Peter
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Default Re: Critical Inputs Forum no.1 - 12-05-2006, 02:10 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Poetic Peter View Post
OH. You know what, friends? He's right.
My face is red. They are not white.
I did find one brown among the blacks.

http://www.voicesofchrist.org/Poetry...a_morales.html




(snip)





So never mind. Her poem is not good.
It could drive lemmings off cliffs, it's so not good.

She means well and is great to look at,
which is why I chose to highlight the God-given talents of Magdalena:
makeup and making babies. And wallowing. Lots.

The literary face of a biter of tyres, (she)
Of prodigious whelping
Has her admirerers
Shallow men in shallow graves dug with a fork, they
Not knowing of lemmings
Spank it to Bjork



Our anthropological knowledge is clearly lacking.


My....what surprise.



Bless you, my, my, my, my, my Sharona
Father Mo


A Cardinal in the making.

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Default Re: Critical Inputs Forum no.1 - 12-05-2006, 04:58 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Poetic Peter View Post

Pray thee Brother Temperance,
what would these four ways be?

(please amplify in a verse--you verse so very well)


Thanks for poetry--for distilling truths, as does the Bible's verse.


Peter
Mag - a goth, a hellbound goth. Whining, miserable, glum where cheer is preferred by the LORD.
Da - A harlot, a single mother. Fornicating, abusing and defiling the temple of the LORD.
Le - A druggie, a coke-addled druggie. Such things are forbidden by the institutions set up by the LORD.
Na - A commie, a Godless commie. Seeking equality among all, when we could never be equal to the LORD.

As I said, there may be others, but those were the ones that seemed most obvious to me.


O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Default Re: Critical Inputs Forum no.1 - 12-10-2006, 10:01 AM

Brother, that was beautiful.

We note The Sound of Music in Hammersteining.
You, you get an Oscar award, yea!

Do, a deer, a female deer,
Fa, she's going off to hell,
Well, a harlot turning tricks!
Oh the durty rotten vix
en; she owes the devil dues!
Which leads us on to question you...




_______________

Flour

batter heathen hotties
for future Southern frying
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Default Re: Critical Inputs Forum no.1 - 12-10-2006, 10:07 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Father Maurice Lester View Post
The literary face of a biter of tyres, (she)
Of prodigious whelping
Has her admirerers
Shallow men in shallow graves dug with a fork, they
Not knowing of lemmings
Spank it to Bjork



Our anthropological knowledge is clearly lacking.


My....what surprise.



Bless you, my, my, my, my, my Sharona
Father Mo


I will post to her a link
to this thread of Honorariums.
If she don't drown her kids
and cut 'er 'air off for the shame,
then we have not been Good Baptists;

not good enough, I mean

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Default Re: Critical Inputs Forum no.1 - 12-10-2006, 10:11 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Poetic Peter View Post
I will post to her a link
to this thread of Honorariums.
If she don't drown her kids
and cut 'er 'air off for the shame,
then we have not been Good Baptists;

not good enough, I mean

Peter, you are a talented boy. I have always said so. But worry not for Poor Maggie's soul. She is a catlick. They are homers, bad poets, and generally suck eggs.


Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


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Default Re: Critical Inputs Forum no.1 - 12-10-2006, 10:28 AM

Thanks for good wordths. I feel an ode coming on Pastor Al.
I can't push it though.
It has to develop of its own addcord
or sniff ahhh

aaaaa kachooo!


Yepth, feel a ode coming on in my nodes.

But jus you wait, I'll make a poem for you some day thoon.

Kakoff!




Peter'd

out

zzzzzz zzzzzz zzzzzz
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Default Re: Critical Inputs Forum no.1 - 12-10-2006, 10:33 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Poetic Peter View Post
Peter'd

out

zzzzzz zzzzzz zzzzzz
Meeee too. Good night to all, and to all a good night! ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.


Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


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Default Re: Critical Inputs Forum no.1 - 12-10-2006, 02:34 PM

Dough, the stuff, those Baptwits paid
Ray, the guy who shot the dream
Me, an A, from taking blame
Fa, be it from me to squeal
So, I'll write a cryptic poem
La, the cops are on to you
Tee (hee), you'll soon be doing time
Which will bring us back to Doh!





Bless you, my civil rights violators
Father Mo


A Cardinal in the making.

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