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The Poetaster's Korner Tasteful poetry for JESUS but don't let the flowers fool you. NO HOMERS ALLOWED!

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Default Re: Professor X's Poetry Slam - 09-12-2009, 12:14 AM

Fortunately, we've seen none of Professor X's Clam Poetry in a while.


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Default Re: Professor X's Poetry Slam - 09-12-2009, 12:20 AM

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Originally Posted by JennyD View Post
Fortunately, we've seen none of Professor X's Clam Poetry in a while.
And that's a very good thing Praise Jesus!!
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Default Re: Professor X's Poetry Slam - 09-12-2009, 12:23 AM

Back by popular request, here is some more of my award-winning* poetry

TUNA SANDWICHES
By Professor Tyeisha X

When hunger creeps up on you
And you want to bite into a sandwich
Do you eat a plain peanut butter and jelly
Or experiment with something tastier?

Liberated woman cries: I WANT A TUNA SANDWICH!
Gloria Steinem's fresh tuna sandwich
Angela Davis's tangy tuna sandwich
Andrea Dworkin's powerfully-scented tuna sandwich

The liberated woman eats it raw
Fresh out of the can
Stuffing her face into the sandwich
Don't want it cleaned
I want it au natural
Musky tuna odor and dolphin-safe.

I scarf down the tuna sandwich;
I am so hungry
Hungry like a wolf
I'm on the huntdown after you
Smells like a sound
I'm lustin' abound
And I'm hungry like the wolf

Juices like wine
Slurp up the tuna juice from the can
Swallow the essence of woman
Lunch time is now over

Until tomorrow when my hunger stirs again.

*3rd place Best Lesbian Erotica Poem, Berkely Barb, August 1976



Professor Emerita of African-American Studies at UC Berkeley
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Default Re: Professor X's Poetry Slam - 09-12-2009, 12:44 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Professor Tyeisha X View Post
Back by popular request, here is some more of my award-winning* poetry

TUNA SANDWICHES
By Professor Tyeisha X

When hunger creeps up on you
And you want to bite into a sandwich
Do you eat a plain peanut butter and jelly
Or experiment with something tastier?

Liberated woman cries: I WANT A TUNA SANDWICH!
Gloria Steinem's fresh tuna sandwich
Angela Davis's tangy tuna sandwich
Andrea Dworkin's powerfully-scented tuna sandwich

The liberated woman eats it raw
Fresh out of the can
Stuffing her face into the sandwich
Don't want it cleaned
I want it au natural
Musky tuna odor and dolphin-safe.

I scarf down the tuna sandwich;
I am so hungry
Hungry like a wolf
I'm on the huntdown after you
Smells like a sound
I'm lustin' abound
And I'm hungry like the wolf

Juices like wine
Slurp up the tuna juice from the can
Swallow the essence of woman
Lunch time is now over

Until tomorrow when my hunger stirs again.

*3rd place Best Lesbian Erotica Poem, Berkely Barb, August 1976
Oh no shes back and this one is even Sicker then all the others
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Default Re: Professor X's Poetry Slam - 09-12-2009, 12:54 AM

Better purgative than Ipecac.


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Default Re: Professor X's Poetry Slam - 09-12-2009, 12:57 AM

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Better purgative than Ipecac.
That's very true Sister Jenny
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Default Re: Professor X's Poetry Slam - 09-12-2009, 12:57 AM

I don't see what's so gross about it. It's just about eating a tuna sandwich. Do you not like tuna or something?


Matthew 5:43-44
Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy. But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;
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Default Re: Professor X's Poetry Slam - 09-12-2009, 01:00 AM

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Originally Posted by Wally's World View Post
I don't see what's so gross about it. It's just about eating a tuna sandwich. Do you not like tuna or something?
Perhaps you need to read Professor Demented seX's "Musky Klan Love" to understand the series of poems of which this is a part.


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Default Re: Professor X's Poetry Slam - 09-12-2009, 01:01 AM

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Let me guess you have a thing for her? Well if so you are a Sick man you should be asking is it to Late for you to repent not about her
Sick MAN? I'm a chick ya dimwit! As a matter of fact, I think we've been through this before. Check my profile genius! Jeez, some people's kids!





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Default Re: Professor X's Poetry Slam - 09-12-2009, 01:02 AM

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Originally Posted by Original Gothster View Post
Sick MAN? I'm a chick ya dimwit! As a matter of fact, I think we've been through this before. Check my profile genius! Jeez, some people's kids!
Then that's even worse!


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Default Re: Professor X's Poetry Slam - 09-12-2009, 01:03 AM

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Originally Posted by Wally's World View Post
I don't see what's so gross about it. It's just about eating a tuna sandwich. Do you not like tuna or something?
You really think its about Making a Tuna sandwich? Well you must have Problems seeing things right Maybe you need to go to a eye Doctor
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Default Re: Professor X's Poetry Slam - 09-12-2009, 01:12 AM

Oh...okay. I just read through her old poem and now I see what you're saying. So the tuna sandwich thing is supposed to be a metaphor for kissing a woman or something?


Matthew 5:43-44
Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy. But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;
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Default Re: Professor X's Poetry Slam - 09-12-2009, 01:18 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Wally's World View Post
Oh...okay. I just read through her old poem and now I see what you're saying. So the tuna sandwich thing is supposed to be a metaphor for kissing a woman or something?
Yes...or something.

Wally, you're a great guy, but you need to work on your comprehension skills. Not everyone means what they seem to be saying, if you catch my drift.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: Professor X's Poetry Slam - 09-12-2009, 01:29 AM

Sorry, Pastor Ezekiel, I don't really understand what you're trying to say. I admit I'm quite bad at understanding metaphors and symbolic meaning. Personally, I don't see the point of them...if you have something to say, then say it. God knows the problem of metaphorical speech so that is why He made the Bible to be understood literally.

If you ever noticed, all the different schisms and factions in Christianity arose out of how people interpreted the Bible.


Matthew 5:43-44
Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy. But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;
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Default Re: Professor X's Poetry Slam - 09-12-2009, 01:33 AM

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Originally Posted by Original Gothster View Post
Sick MAN? I'm a chick ya dimwit! As a matter of fact, I think we've been through this before. Check my profile genius! Jeez, some people's kids!
I'm not a Dimwit You fool so how dare you call me that Your a Women? wow that's really a Shock i had no idea well how could i have you act like a dirty old man you need to Learn to act lady like
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Default Re: Professor X's Poetry Slam - 09-12-2009, 01:49 AM

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Originally Posted by Wally's World View Post
Oh...okay. I just read through her old poem and now I see what you're saying. So the tuna sandwich thing is supposed to be a metaphor for kissing a woman or something?
Yes i'm glad you finally got it Good Job
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Default Re: Professor X's Poetry Slam - 09-12-2009, 02:51 AM

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I'm not a Dimwit You fool so how dare you call me that Your a Women? wow that's really a Shock i had no idea well how could i have you act like a dirty old man you need to Learn to act lady like
We had this exact conversation months ago. Do you often have memory lapses? I've seen your type at the clinic. Fine one day, crazy the next, and dead of brain tumor a month later.

You should get yourself checked out hon, you might have cancer.





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Default Re: Professor X's Poetry Slam - 09-22-2009, 05:41 PM

This time I thought I would publish something different. This is postmodern absurdist abstract poetry. If you don't "get" the poem, then you obviously fail to have the intellectual capabilities of understanding it in the proper context free of racial and sexual prejudices.

Ono Trap in Steer's Germany
by Professor Tyeisha X

Ono Trap in Steer's Germany
becoming acquainted with the leather couch
until the dawn of the moon rises under the night
flaky, disgusting insects creep on the spaghetti

is this what it means
to bail the convict from the cell of ineptitude?
And this for then to be while the populace calleth
Hear then the words of the peppered dove

Blanketed with dismay, holding lights inside the eyes!
Obsequious and protruding, thine aluminium eats the walls
And until you live forever
You will die as the Ono Trap in Steer's Germany.



Thank you.



Professor Emerita of African-American Studies at UC Berkeley
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Default Re: Professor X's Poetry Slam - 09-22-2009, 05:48 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Professor Tyeisha X View Post
You will die
Your terroristic threat against decent heteronormative White men has been noted, and the proper authorities have been informed.

Now this is what I call proper poetry:

I Am Racist!

Never...
Never in the seventy-five
years of my life have
I been termed, “racist.”

Now...
Now in Obama’s America,
now, I am termed racist.

Now...
Now by left wing standards,
by left wing media
I am...
you and me...
we are termed racist!

Because I do not agree
nor trust the man my country
mistakenly, in mine and millions
of opinions,
mistakenly voted to the office
of President.

Surrounding himself...
Advised by American hating,
tax dodging appointees.

Befriended by American hating,
bomb throwing radicals.

Preached to by, “God damning America
to hell” religious leaders.

Married to a woman that
never was proud of this country.
Married to a woman that
never was proud of this country
that gave her the freedom to say
and live and be educated as she wished.

Befriending the tyrants.
Cold to our friends.

The cold, steely look on this man’s face...

The cold, steely, arrogant,
know all,
“You must listen to me!”
look on this man’s face.

The cold, steely, arrogant look
on this man’s face that
demands:
“You must obey because
I alone am right!”

Racist...
not because this man is not white.

Racist...
because I do not trust this man
that bows to the king
of the country that supports
and teaches and funds those that,
if given the chance,
would mercilessly
kill our children.

Racist...
Racist because I do not trust this
arrogant man who’s words,
said as promises,
that,
those of you that think,
that,
those that truly think
know the words said by this
arrogant man to be shallow
promises that will not,
that cannot be kept.

As promised by this man...
As promised by this man
that said, “I will unite!”

Now, at age seventy-five,
aware...
Aware and concerned
for but the last forty years,
never...
Never have I seen
my country more divided.

Never...
Never in the forty years
of awareness of the
politicks of my country
have I seen my country
more divided.

"Stupid!" We are called.
"Uninformed!" We are called.
"A mindless, programmed rabble."
"A mindless, programmed, racist
rabble," we are called.

By left wing standards,
by left wing media
we,
we the people opposing
the blind ambition of
this arrogrant man,
we,
the people have now been termed.
Racist!

“Racist!”

A catch-all word
in Obama’s America
to easily explain,
by left wing standards,
by left wing media,
when they have no answer,
when they have no way to
answer to the free will of we,
we the people
of course, it must be!
It is becausewe are racist!

Racist is their word to
cover the people's
opposition
to the blind
ambition of this man
that we now know

To the blind ambition of this man
that we the people now know
to be none other than this man,
that promised to become
the one to unite our nation.
Obama...

Not to unite,
but to be forever known as the great divider.


Sarah Palin: A Real Lady!

What a lady!
Disheveled,
wearing a scale covered
fisherman's slicker,
pulling the salmon
net alongside her husband.
A photo-op? I think not.

Having children,
no abortion for
the "special one."

What a lady,
truly no politicks as usual.

Resigned to free her state,
resolved to do what must be done.

Where are the women of N.O.W.?

Where are the, oh,
so democratic women’s
organizations that fist and nail
fight the slightest slight,
except for this lady,
this real lady that's maligned
and insulted in every way.

This real lady
that is so feared
because she is a real lady.

No more donations from
my depleted pocket for
National or State.

Donations only for Sarah.

Donations only for this lady,
this real lady,
this real lady that I so admire.

May God see us through
this abomination we’re
into, and may God bless this real lady!


O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Petal Petal is offline
LBC psychiatric outpatient. Progressing nicely.
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Petal is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Petal is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Petal is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Petal is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Petal is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Petal is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Petal is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Petal is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Petal is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Petal is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Petal is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.
Default Re: Professor X's Poetry Slam - 09-27-2009, 04:33 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Professor Tyeisha X View Post
presenting me your black puckered starfish
why were the lady presentings you wiv stuff? were it a award ceremonys? i sorrys but i not thinks a schmelly ole starfish be a very good prize, were it one of them awards you gets for just trying your bestest i got lots an lots of those , i never ever wins them good prizes but it ok, i not wants a starfish boobyprize

Quote:
Originally Posted by Professor Tyeisha X View Post
Gloria Steinem's fresh tuna sandwich
Angela Davis's tangy tuna sandwich
Andrea Dworkin's powerfully-scented tuna sandwich
why that Dorkin lady makes the most schmelliest sandwich? maybee she snucked one of them rotten starfishs into the sandwich she not lurve her prize niethers

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr.Bother Tempertantrums View Post
Now this is what I call proper poetry:

I Am Racist!

Never...
Never in the seventy-five
years of my life have
I been termed, “racist.”

Now...
Now in Obama’s America,
now, I am termed racist.
that were a bootiful poems but i be prayings that Ms.Tyeisha not lurve your poems cuz then she will keeps her big ole starfish to herselfs
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