Go Back   The Landover Baptist Church Forum > Landover Today! > Pastor Zeke's News Wire
Reload this Page Nigress Lezbean Kidnaps Man, Forces Him Into Perversion
Pastor Zeke's News Wire Keep up to date with an ever-changing world from an even more Godlier perspective than FOX News.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
(#1)
Old
Pastor Ezekiel's Avatar
Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Uber Angels Driver Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Golden Bear Award Mission Long service medal, 2nd class Aardvark Asked questions later Heart of compassion Crown of Righteousness The Crown of Crowns Crown of Glory Crown of Incorruptibility Crown of Rejoicing Crown of Life BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Mission to the Philippines Clorox Cured Me QAnon Storm Chaser Anti-Biden British Royalty

 
Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Nigress Lezbean Kidnaps Man, Forces Him Into Perversion - 11-30-2015, 04:11 AM

THIS just in: A wild female jigaboo has been running around the countryside kidnapping men and forcing them to put their mouth on her cooter. Thankfully she has been apprehended by the police, but the rest of her gang is most likely headed our way. Men: Be on the lookout!


Quote:
Woman Accused Of Kidnapping And Forcing Muscle Man To Perform Oral Sex

Victim’s statement to police (partial):
She made me eat her, you know, vagina and her anus despite me begging and crying for her to not make me do it

The story goes:
The Clinton, Mississippi Police Department released vivid details about a bodybuilder who was kidnapped and sexually tortured by 43-year-old Cathy Priest.

The Florida (use of the Sunshine State always adds a ring of validity to any potentially made-up too crazy to be true story!) man was visiting Jackson, Mississippi for a bodybuilding competition when he was snatched from an alley at gunpoint and then forcibly snatched some more.

Priest forced the victim into her Mazda Miata and then drove him to her nearby mobile home where she proceeded to tie his hands and ankles and insert a butt plug into his rectum. For the next seven days straight, she forced him to perform oral sex on her for up to four hours at a clip.

Victim’s statement to police (continued):
But she had a .357 pointed at me and said she’d shoot me in the foot. At one point, she tried to make me penetrate her, but I couldn’t get an erection, despite her giving me oral, and putting a vacuum cleaner hose over my penis and turning it on.

She starved me too. Said she was the only thing I needed to eat. She let me drink Pepsi though, so I was never thirsty. Although I hate Pepsi, because it has extremely high sugar content and too many carbs.


After Priest passed out from drinking too many boxes of wine, and popping a bunch of what appeared to be Xanax, the vic launched the great escape. It was his only chance, as his captor never slept.

Florida Man Disembowels Girlfriend After She Says Ex’s Name During Sex

Priest denies all allegations, claiming he was a Mormon missionary trying to “recruit me into his Devil religion.”

Perpetrator’s statement to police:
After I says no to becoming a mormon (sic), he said when he saw me first open the door it was ‘love at first sight,’ and he wanted to lick my bang holes. I love big muscles. I love muscle men. So, I invited him in and we started sexing. But I don’t kidnap nobody. I’m just a weak woman.

Guy’s just making excuses and blaming me. Cause he don’t want to get in trouble with his religion.


Police, however, located a weapon in Priest’s mobile home that was consistent with the one the muscle man described and witnesses who found the bound victim have attested that he was highly distressed.

Priest has been charged with kidnapping and sexual torture.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
Reply With Quote
(#2)
Old
Back against wall's Avatar
Back against wall Back against wall is offline
Guarding his purity against all comers
True Christian™

Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ready for the Rapture Friend of Jesus Touched by Jesus Kangi Honorary Ex-Negro/Negress/Nigglet Trump of GOD Roper Crossburn Ex-negro True Christian™ Christian Love Real American™ Kirk Cameron Fan Club Porn Resistant Prayer Warrior Tell her once Mission to Australia True Christian Artist Trump of GOD Anti-sodomy Truck Stop Ministry Member Pancake Dinner Guns, Guts and GLORY! Hatchet Child Rearing Award Mission to Messico Hands Off True Christian Hotrodder Color wheel 2015 Witch Hunt Award The Ant One Year/1000 posts Punched the most queers Super Soaker Baptism Award True Christian Caucasian Flat Earth Stamp of Approval God's chosen ones Pastor Ezekiel

 
Posts: 1,239
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: OzTrailer
Back against wall will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Back against wall will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Back against wall will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Back against wall will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Back against wall will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Back against wall will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Back against wall will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Back against wall will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Back against wall will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Back against wall will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Back against wall will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Nigress Lezbean Kidnaps Man, Forces Him Into Perversion - 11-30-2015, 05:27 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
THIS just in: A wild female jigaboo has been running around the countryside kidnapping men and forcing them to put their mouth on her cooter.
Quote:
Perpetrator’s statement to police:
After I says no to becoming a mormon (sic), he said when he saw me first open the door it was ‘love at first sight,’ and he wanted to lick my bang holes. I love big muscles. I love muscle men. So, I invited him in and we started sexing. But I don’t kidnap nobody. I’m just a weak woman.

What's a Bang Hole? So she shot herself first? I don't get it ..


Ecclesiastes 1:18 - For in much wisedome is much griefe: and hee that increaseth knowledge, increaseth sorrow.


Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Find Additional Forums Here



Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved