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Default Please Pray for ME!!! - 09-19-2008, 10:45 PM
I'm having a reaaally tough time. I tormented by gays thinking about me and doing horrible things to various parts of my body, including my bottom!!! They are thinking about me all the time, I can feel it. Their images hardly leave my head the last couple of days!!! Please pray the gay's thoughts out of my head! Please!!!



Winging our Way Across the World for The Lord!



God Bless John Boehner and God Bless the Grand Old Party!



Barack Hussein Obama is not My President!!!
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Default Re: Please Pray for ME!!! - 09-19-2008, 10:48 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aaron Portway View Post
I'm having a reaaally tough time. I tormented by gays thinking about me and doing horrible things to various parts of my body, including my bottom!!! They are thinking about me all the time, I can feel it. Their images hardly leave my head the last couple of days!!! Please pray the gay's thoughts out of my head! Please!!!

If there are images of them in your head, it's becaue you are thinking about them, not the other way round.

Now that Obama has won the election there will be big black cock for every white woman!!!
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Default Re: Please Pray for ME!!! - 09-19-2008, 11:00 PM
That wasn't much of a prayer.

May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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Default Re: Please Pray for ME!!! - 09-19-2008, 11:02 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aaron Portway View Post
I'm having a reaaally tough time. I tormented by gays thinking about me and doing horrible things to various parts of my body, including my bottom!!! They are thinking about me all the time, I can feel it. Their images hardly leave my head the last couple of days!!! Please pray the gay's thoughts out of my head! Please!!!
Aaaroon:
Where is your KJV1611?
Open it and read. It's really that simple.

Matthew:
5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled
10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.


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Default Re: Please Pray for ME!!! - 09-19-2008, 11:09 PM
Sounds like you have a demon problem, Brother. Try this prayer that I've used successfully from time to time.

Father,
In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, I plead the precious uncorruptable blood of Jesus over myself and my family and everything that belongs to us. I ask for giant warrior Angels to be loosed from Heaven to surround and protect us. As your war club and weapons of war I break down, undamn, and blow up all walls of protection around all witches, warlocks, wizards, satanists, and the like, and I break the power of all curses, hexes, vexes, spells, charms, fetishes, physic prayers, physic thought, all witchcraft, sorcery, magic, voodoo, all mind control, jinxes, potions, bewitchments, death, destruction, sickness, pain, torment, physic power, physic warfare, prayer chains, and everything else being sent my way or my family members way, and I return it and the demons to the senders right now!, SEVENFOLD, and I BIND it to them by the Blood of Jesus!

Father, I pray that these lost souls will find the light of your son Jesus.. Their own snares and traps have been set against themselves.. In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth I now loose them from all mindcontrol of satan!.. Father I also ask that you Bind the Holy Spirit to there hearts as a guide to your son Jesus.. So they may be set free from the bondages of satan.

In Jesus name I pray..
Amen

Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: Please Pray for ME!!! - 09-19-2008, 11:27 PM
[quote=Aaron Portway;238427 They are thinking about me all the time, I can feel it. !![/quote]

How does that make you feel???Maybe a little... excited??Come on,share it all with us,and if the True Christians can't help you,maybe I'll pray to get you out of trouble

Oh,come to think of it,WHY would a homosexual guy thik about you...I mean you can't be their type...THEY are cute

I do want McCain for President...But Obama's a hottie!!!
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Default Re: Please Pray for ME!!! - 09-19-2008, 11:35 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
Sounds like you have a demon problem, Brother. Try this prayer that I've used successfully from time to time.

Father,
In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, I plead the precious uncorruptable blood of Jesus over myself and my family and everything that belongs to us. I ask for giant warrior Angels to be loosed from Heaven to surround and protect us. As your war club and weapons of war I break down, undamn, and blow up all walls of protection around all witches, warlocks, wizards, satanists, and the like, and I break the power of all curses, hexes, vexes, spells, charms, fetishes, physic prayers, physic thought, all witchcraft, sorcery, magic, voodoo, all mind control, jinxes, potions, bewitchments, death, destruction, sickness, pain, torment, physic power, physic warfare, prayer chains, and everything else being sent my way or my family members way, and I return it and the demons to the senders right now!, SEVENFOLD, and I BIND it to them by the Blood of Jesus!

Father, I pray that these lost souls will find the light of your son Jesus.. Their own snares and traps have been set against themselves.. In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth I now loose them from all mindcontrol of satan!.. Father I also ask that you Bind the Holy Spirit to there hearts as a guide to your son Jesus.. So they may be set free from the bondages of satan.

In Jesus name I pray..
Amen
Thank you Pastor, I'm trying. I'll pray and pray and pray!
But I'm tormented by the gay thoughts!

I mean . . . tormented by the gays thinking about me!

I've only been saved this time for less than a year, from the drink and the drugs and the fornication and the experimen . . .

I have to get a hold of myself. I have to remain strong. I need to go read my Bible, I'll be back later! Pray for me!!! Please!!!



Winging our Way Across the World for The Lord!



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Barack Hussein Obama is not My President!!!
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Default Re: Please Pray for ME!!! - 09-19-2008, 11:43 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aaron Portway View Post
Thank you Pastor, I'm trying. I'll pray and pray and pray!
But I'm tormented by the gay thoughts!

I mean . . . tormented by the gays thinking about me!

I've only been saved this time for less than a year, from the drink and the drugs and the fornication and the experimen . . .

I have to get a hold of myself. I have to remain strong. I need to go read my Bible, I'll be back later! Pray for me!!! Please!!!
Don't worry, Brother Aaron. I'm sure the gays would not even THINK of tying you down and forcibly gang-sodomizing you, treating you like a furry treats his dog, for hours on end.

No, you're much to burly and strong for that!

They are probably fantasizing about YOU sodomizing THEM, probably with help from the entire Landover Security Detail!

Fortunately, it's impossible to force a True Christian™ man to commit sodomy, since he can't perform unless aroused. See, you have nothing to worry about!

Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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Default Re: Please Pray for ME!!! - 09-20-2008, 12:34 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aaron Portway View Post
I'm having a reaaally tough time. I tormented by gays thinking about me and doing horrible things to various parts of my body, including my bottom!!! They are thinking about me all the time, I can feel it. Their images hardly leave my head the last couple of days!!! Please pray the gay's thoughts out of my head! Please!!!
Are you sure you're not secretly gay and trying to hide it from everyone by bashing homosexuals?
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Default Re: Please Pray for ME!!! - 09-20-2008, 12:39 AM
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Are you sure you're not secretly gay and trying to hide it from everyone by bashing homosexuals?
Are you sure you're not secretly retarded and trying to hide it by hanging out on a Christian forum and bashing True Christians™?

Gather around so that I can read to you from my book of TRUTH. Genesis thru Revelations....Pick one!

Luke 12:5- But I will forewarn you whom ye shall fear: Fear him, which after he hath killed hath power to cast into hell; yea, I say unto you, Fear him.
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Default Re: Please Pray for ME!!! - 09-20-2008, 12:46 AM
Takes one to know one
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Default Re: Please Pray for ME!!! - 09-20-2008, 12:47 AM
I've been reading my Bible and praying Pastor Zeke's prayer out loud. I printed up several copies so I can carry one around with me and I've taped up the others all around my house. I think it's starting to work, but whenever I stop, my mind goes back to . . .

Oh no! The thoughts again! There must be a whole nest of the gays somewhere close by, the thoughts come at me from everywhere!

OK, I'll hold my KJV1611 and the prayer in one hand while I type. That seems to help. One handed typing is hard though. Please, if you good True Christians™ could pray for me too, it might offset the gays sending their pervy thoughts . . .

Wait! I bet it's not the gays alone that are sending the rear end related thoughts to me. I bet it's Demons too! Oh no! Demons and the gays all thinking about my rear end. I'm really gonna need prayers! PLease Landover, Pray the gays and the butt demons away!



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Default Re: Please Pray for ME!!! - 09-20-2008, 12:49 AM
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Originally Posted by christain-goth View Post
Takes one to know one
That's why we have so much patience with the attackers who come here to stir up trouble; we know that it is the word of Jesus that draws them here and we live with the hope that reading about his glory will open your pitiful eyes which were sewn shut by the devil.

Edit--

Aaron, are you freaking out again?? Maybe you just need a drink and a nice nap. That often helps me forget about the things that are worrying me.

May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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Default Re: Please Pray for ME!!! - 09-20-2008, 01:24 AM
Aaron,

I have it on good authority from "Sources" that you are not now and never will be a Gay. The Pastors have asked me not to tell you why I know this, just understand that at some point in The Future! you will be an important member at Landover. I'm not saying you're not going to have some difficult stretches, you might even say some Very Difficult Stretches, but know this, you will Prevail over the Gays and the Butt Demons!

But keep praying. And don't drink too much. A little now and then is fine, like wine with dinner and maybe a night cap once in a while. And get that mole checked!

A Faithful Servant of the Lord sent by God to help Save The Future!

Repent; or else I will come unto thee quickly, and will fight against them with the sword of my mouth. Revelation 2:16
A MAN, A PLAN, A PLATFORM, A FORD TRUCK, SLEDGE!
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Default Re: Please Pray for ME!!! - 09-20-2008, 03:14 AM
Thanks for the support all. My blood sugar was down and I was feeling a bit fuzzy. I'm OK now, thanks to you all, some prayer, and my KJV1611. I'm going to keep it with me all the time now, just to be sure. Does anyone know where I can get a Bible holster?



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Barack Hussein Obama is not My President!!!
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Default Re: Please Pray for ME!!! - 09-20-2008, 01:02 PM
I was unable to find any Bible holsters for you, Brother Aaron, but perhaps one of these fine Bible carriers may suffice for your purposes:


Name: P_143564.JPG Views: 37 Size: 3.5 KB Name: carrier1.jpg Views: 37 Size: 2.0 KB Name: carrier2.jpg Views: 37 Size: 2.1 KB

PRAISE BE AND GLORY!!

Mark 16:17 And these attesting signs will accompany those who believe: in My Name they will drive out demons.

1 Kings 21:14 Then they sent to Jezebel, saying, Naboth is stoned . . .

A SPIRITUAL WARFARE PRAYER:
 Father, In Jesus' Name, I take the Blood of Jesus and break the power of all witches, warlocks, wizards, satanists, sorcerers, wiccans, pagans, and any other source, and all of their rituals off of us. With the Blood of Jesus, I erase all evil lines drawn on our liver. . .
LANDOVER BAPTIST DEMON HUNTING PERMIT #00666-27



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Default Re: Please Pray for ME!!! - 09-20-2008, 04:17 PM
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Originally Posted by Justina Thyme View Post
I was unable to find any Bible holsters for you, Brother Aaron, but perhaps one of these fine Bible carriers may suffice for your purposes:


PRAISE BE AND GLORY!!
Thank you Sister! The third on looks very nice. I'm sure it would work. I'll just do a search on Bible carriers. I may get a few, for different outfits and occasions. I wonder if they make formal carriers? I'm sure I could have one made to match a few of my suits!



Winging our Way Across the World for The Lord!



God Bless John Boehner and God Bless the Grand Old Party!



Barack Hussein Obama is not My President!!!
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