Landover to the Rescue - Christian Help Forum A Christian Help Forum led by Sister Daisy Mae Johnson. Warning! Sometimes the Lord's advice is a hard pill to swallow. |
Seeking the Truth©
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Where can I purchase a chastity belt? -
01-30-2007, 02:18 AM
As a new Christian, I want to live right and am interested in purchasing a chastity for myself. Where can I purchase one? And who would hold onto the key until I get married if my father is not a Christian? Any help would be greatly appreciated.
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CASTLES DON'T HAVE PHONES
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Re: Where can I purchase a chastity belt? -
01-30-2007, 02:38 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Girls Do Not Wear Pants
As a new Christian, I want to live right and am interested in purchasing a chastity for myself. Where can I purchase one? And who would hold onto the key until I get married if my father is not a Christian? Any help would be greatly appreciated.
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Well...a...love...I can get you a "proper" chastity belt rather quickly AND...snicker, snicker...I'll be MORE than willing to hold the key....LMAO.
"I'm just a sweet transvestite from Transsexual, Transylvania."
"Don't dream it...BE IT!"
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Ladies of Landover Senior VP One of the Truest Christians™ Ever Mama Grizzly and formerly Sister Mary Maria
True Christian™
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Re: Where can I purchase a chastity belt? -
01-30-2007, 03:06 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Girls Do Not Wear Pants
As a new Christian, I want to live right and am interested in purchasing a chastity for myself. Where can I purchase one? And who would hold onto the key until I get married if my father is not a Christian? Any help would be greatly appreciated.
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There are many fine shops in Freehold that stock a good selection of chastity belts (I bought mine at the Landover Christian Mall), all of a good, sturdy quality at a glorious price. If your father is not a True Christian, there are no safer hands than any of our Godly Pastors.
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Devout seeker of the Truth™
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Re: Where can I purchase a chastity belt? -
01-30-2007, 03:08 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Girls Do Not Wear Pants
As a new Christian, I want to live right and am interested in purchasing a chastity for myself. Where can I purchase one? And who would hold onto the key until I get married if my father is not a Christian? Any help would be greatly appreciated.
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Google turns up many places where one can buy a real chastity belt and I'm sure one of the pastors would be kind enough to be your keyholder. I do believe one of them is already holding Siter M&M's key.
Don't listen to TwinkBoy, Sister GDNWP, he's a heathen homer who gets up to all kinds of sinful things.
The Big-Bang: GOD spoke and, BANG, the universe was formed.
Genesis 1:1 - In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.
Last edited by Jesus is Lord; 01-30-2007 at 03:09 AM.
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Scientific Advisor
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Location: Landover Baptist University for the Saved, Corridor 17C
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Re: Where can I purchase a chastity belt? -
01-30-2007, 03:10 AM
Personally I suggest you check with your local tanner -- I am sure he can set you up with something good & proper. Other than that, I am sure some pastor can direct you in the correct path!
I am curious as to what you think constitutes your Salvation? You seem to think that you're Saved, but personally I have seen very little evidence of that. Have you properly introduced yourself yet? If not, I suggest you start in the Introductions Forum, so that we might have a good look at you!
As far as who might hold the Key, I am sure that any Landover pastor would be more than happy to ensure that you remain locked up for your future husband!
Trump 2020: "For Real This Time"
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Seeking the Truth©
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Posts: 38
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Re: Where can I purchase a chastity belt? -
01-30-2007, 05:26 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jesus is Lord
Don't listen to TwinkBoy, Sister GDNWP, he's a heathen homer who gets up to all kinds of sinful things.
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Thank you for the advice.
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Unsaved trash, Godless Godmocker
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Posts: 112
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Re: Where can I purchase a chastity belt? -
02-17-2007, 05:08 AM
You know, that's mabey not such a bad idea. It isn't easy staying a virgin these days. especially in my line of work. So many expectations that your blessed gift is just available or something.
If it was, it'd be called your blessed GET. It isn't.
vh
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LBC psychiatric outpatient. Progressing nicely.
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Re: Where can I purchase a chastity belt? -
02-17-2007, 11:31 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss.virginNawtyWord
It isn't easy staying a virgin these days. especially in my line of work.
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i sorry to hear you a catlick skoolgirl, Miss.Virgin -of-cooter-but-not-of-butts
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On Extended Furlough
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Re: Where can I purchase a chastity belt? -
02-17-2007, 09:44 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Petal
i sorry to hear you a catlick skoolgirl, Miss.Virgin -of-cooter-but-not-of-butts
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Perhaps she thought she could be a "Technical Virgin"?
I guess she forgot all about that whole SODOMY thing.
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Resident gothtard witch
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Re: Where can I purchase a chastity belt? -
02-18-2007, 03:35 PM
i could never wear a chasity belt coz sex is to fun........... but even if i had to wear 1 i would still kiss a lot n maybe do other stuff............ but if u dun want too wear 1 thats ok coz more for me!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Ladies of Landover Senior VP One of the Truest Christians™ Ever Mama Grizzly and formerly Sister Mary Maria
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Re: Where can I purchase a chastity belt? -
02-18-2007, 07:21 PM
Oh my... Your parents really need to discipline you more. If they contact Landover we will gladly refer them to stores that will sell them fine rods, and if necessary for the particularly unruly child, nice sturdy cages.
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True Christian™ Entrepreneur
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Re: Where can I purchase a chastity belt? -
04-04-2007, 03:36 PM
There are several places in Freehold to purchase a top-quality chastity belt. There's Chastity's Closet on 6th and Main, there's Chastity Corner on Main and 5th, and there are three other places around the corner on Grove between 5th and 6th. Just look for the signs indicating the Chastity Belt District.
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Ladies of Landover Senior VP One of the Truest Christians™ Ever Mama Grizzly and formerly Sister Mary Maria
True Christian™
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Posts: 12,662
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Standing behind my husband
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Re: Where can I purchase a chastity belt? -
04-04-2007, 06:27 PM
I bought mine at SAVED!... For Marriage at the Landover Christian Mall. It's a good, sturdy design, and the helpful staff will pray with you before you start looking at the merchandise, just when you think you've decided, and right after making your purchase.
Once fitted and locked by the matronly Doris, they have the keys (two, there should always be a spare), if you're there without a husband, father, pastor, or other male guardian, driven directly to the man who will be in charge of your chastity (until my wedding, my keys are currently in the possession of Pastor Zeke and Pastor Garvin).
Last edited by Mrs. Mary Whitford; 04-04-2007 at 06:28 PM.
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Unsaved Foreign Trash Dumb broad who keeps changing her email address Interests: Interests: Witchcraft, fornication, ritual sacrifice, and spectacularly silly pop music.
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Re: Where can I purchase a chastity belt? -
04-04-2007, 07:50 PM
Have you guys ever heard of control. Why not not have sex by simply controlling your desires. Just say NO.
One Love, One Pain, One enemy.
Found you out ? I thought so. Funny people. Funny.
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Landover Security Superviser Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
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Re: Where can I purchase a chastity belt? -
04-04-2007, 08:33 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alexia
Have you guys ever heard of control. Why not not have sex by simply controlling your desires. Just say NO.
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We are talking about women here Alexia. You should not it is not as simple as that.
Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.
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Unsaved Foreign Trash Dumb broad who keeps changing her email address Interests: Interests: Witchcraft, fornication, ritual sacrifice, and spectacularly silly pop music.
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Re: Where can I purchase a chastity belt? -
04-04-2007, 08:36 PM
I am a woman. I can say NO very easily to my boyfriend. I have self discipline.
One Love, One Pain, One enemy.
Found you out ? I thought so. Funny people. Funny.
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Disgusting Unsaved Trash Who is Using the Computer at Hellion's House! Please contact Brother Bobby Joe and the security team at the first sign of misbehaviour.
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Re: Where can I purchase a chastity belt? -
04-04-2007, 08:36 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe
We are talking about women here Alexia. You should not it is not as simple as that.
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Funny. My wife says ''no'' all the time. Not to me of course...but to almost every other guy who's asked her.
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Unsaved Foreign Trash Dumb broad who keeps changing her email address Interests: Interests: Witchcraft, fornication, ritual sacrifice, and spectacularly silly pop music.
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Re: Where can I purchase a chastity belt? -
04-04-2007, 08:45 PM
Yes. Strange word us woman posses. NO. Maybe the american gals should try it?
One Love, One Pain, One enemy.
Found you out ? I thought so. Funny people. Funny.
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Landover Security Superviser Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
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Re: Where can I purchase a chastity belt? -
04-04-2007, 08:53 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alexia
I am a woman. I can say NO very easily to my boyfriend. I have self discipline.
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I will only not you say "I can" not "I say".
Jesus is interested in more than potential Alexia. When He suffered and died (temporarly) for your sake Alexia that wasn’t potential.
Quote:
Originally Posted by M.D.
Funny. My wife says ''no'' all the time. Not to me of course...but to almost every other guy who's asked her.
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and yet, there are those pesky DoF files. I tell you MD, the things you find out about loved ones when you do fiber optics surveillance will surprise you. Why Pastor Zeke just found out that way his dear little niece and her friends were using Zeke’s unfiltered wide screen TV to watch such depraved outrages as American Idol when Pastor Zeke was away.
Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.
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Unsaved Foreign Trash Dumb broad who keeps changing her email address Interests: Interests: Witchcraft, fornication, ritual sacrifice, and spectacularly silly pop music.
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Re: Where can I purchase a chastity belt? -
04-04-2007, 08:56 PM
Very well.. I say NO. I only assumed this was a hypothecal situation so I said I can. rather then I say. But I say NO. See NO NO NO.
One Love, One Pain, One enemy.
Found you out ? I thought so. Funny people. Funny.
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