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"Are You Smarter than a Porch Monkey?" - game show pitch
"But Witch Hammer," you may protest, "who isn't smarter than a Porch Monkey?".
Well, you have a valid point there, friend. There are precious few creatures upon God's flat earth that are as mentally sluggish as the retrograde Hamite...but there are some that come darned close.
Diaper heads, wetbacks, prairie negroes and microcephalic toddlers, for example. Recruiting contestants from these population groups would help level the playing field (more or less) and make the game more sporting.
Before I can pitch the idea to TBN, I need to work out some more details, like the actual elements of the game, etc. I don't want to too closely mimic Brother Foxworthy's format for fear of being sued by a fellow BiC for intellectual piracy.
Also, there is the matter of cash and prizes for the winners. Give a minority a few bucks, and he'll blow it on hard liquor and hookers the second he leaves the studio, amen? I don't feel that enabling already morally deficient scum by giving them wads of cash would be in keeping with the scriptures...maybe a briefcase full of Chic Tracts and a two week, all-expenses-paid vacation to a good Christian Boot Camp?
Suggestions are welcome...
Well, you have a valid point there, friend. There are precious few creatures upon God's flat earth that are as mentally sluggish as the retrograde Hamite...but there are some that come darned close.
Diaper heads, wetbacks, prairie negroes and microcephalic toddlers, for example. Recruiting contestants from these population groups would help level the playing field (more or less) and make the game more sporting.
Before I can pitch the idea to TBN, I need to work out some more details, like the actual elements of the game, etc. I don't want to too closely mimic Brother Foxworthy's format for fear of being sued by a fellow BiC for intellectual piracy.
Also, there is the matter of cash and prizes for the winners. Give a minority a few bucks, and he'll blow it on hard liquor and hookers the second he leaves the studio, amen? I don't feel that enabling already morally deficient scum by giving them wads of cash would be in keeping with the scriptures...maybe a briefcase full of Chic Tracts and a two week, all-expenses-paid vacation to a good Christian Boot Camp?
Suggestions are welcome...
), as problem solving is by definition extremely difficult for those of lesser cognitive capacities. However, I suggest a simple maze of the kind represented below, as it is something a rat can solve two times out of three. This could be the pivotal test in semi-finals?
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