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Default A Call to Arms My Brothers and Sisters! - 05-31-2013, 07:47 AM

Dear Fellow Brothers and Sisters,

I was at the Mall of the Bluffs earlier today and there were freaking SCIENTOLOGISTS THERE!!!! As an ADA to the great state of Iowa, I ignored this all until I got my beloved daughter her uniform for Girl Scouts and sent her along with her mother, and one of these jackholes solicited me for a "mood test."

I then fist-fought these unbelievers and mall security got involved. When it was revealed that I was an employee for our great State and that Scientologists and evil, I was left with only third degree battery charges.

My family and friends have decided to patrol the mall from the hours between 3pm-9pm. We are looking for others to patrol the morning hours. These Xenu fearing heathens should be wrangled out of our state or at least out of our malls, please feel free to join our watch of these stupid heathens. We are not sure if they're at other malls around the state but we do know that they've infested ours.


The Lord is gracious, and full of compassion; Slow to anger, and of great mercy. Psalm 145:8
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Default Re: A Call to Arms My Brothers and Sisters! - 05-31-2013, 08:57 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Paul Cooper View Post
I got my beloved daughter her uniform for Girl Scouts
Thanks for your diligence. But aren't you worried that Girl Scouts will turn your daughter into a lesbian?


Draft Freehold, Iowa Mayor
Johny Joe Hold
for Vice President in 2024
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Default Re: A Call to Arms My Brothers and Sisters! - 06-01-2013, 12:25 AM

I couldn't understand what it was talking about. All I got was an obscenity and a lot of clicks and grunts.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: A Call to Arms My Brothers and Sisters! - 06-01-2013, 12:58 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Paul Cooper View Post
Dear Fellow Brothers and Sisters,

I was at the Mall of the Bluffs earlier today and there were freaking SCIENTOLOGISTS THERE!!!! As an ADA to the great state of Iowa, I ignored this all until I got my beloved daughter her uniform for Girl Scouts and sent her along with her mother, and one of these jackholes solicited me for a "mood test."

I then fist-fought these unbelievers and mall security got involved. When it was revealed that I was an employee for our great State and that Scientologists and evil, I was left with only third degree battery charges.

My family and friends have decided to patrol the mall from the hours between 3pm-9pm. We are looking for others to patrol the morning hours. These Xenu fearing heathens should be wrangled out of our state or at least out of our malls, please feel free to join our watch of these stupid heathens. We are not sure if they're at other malls around the state but we do know that they've infested ours.
My advice to you, boy, is to sell your daughter immediately and wire the cash ASAP to LBC c/o Pastor Ezekiel. Only a powerful white man firmly rooted in Christ can hope to combat such a menace, and money greases the gears of the war machine...so hop to it!
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