[Old Man Hatchet]

The dairy industry touts yogurt as "healthy." They claim it "aids digestion." Why? Yogurt supposedly contains good-for-you bacteria called Lactobacillus acidophilus and Steptococcus thermophilus. That's fancy talk for "tiny demons." And I don't know about you, but I don't want anything called "Steptococcus" anywhere near my mouth or posterior.

Indigestion is caused by colon demons. So consuming yogurt compounds the problem. You're just sending in reinforcements. Worse still, yogurt demons make you gay. They take over your backside and make you "lieth" with another man. Yogurt also comes in all kinds of fruity flavors. That's a big warning sign right there. And be wary of Greek yogurt.


Greek yogurt: Twice the gay.

The term "probiotic" is often associated with yogurt. I think that means it can turn you into a robot.


A gay robot, not a cool one like Steve Austin.

If you're experiencing indigestion, do NOT turn to yogurt. There's only one sensible solution--scream Bible verses at the miniature demons inhabiting your gastrointestinal tract. Praise Jesus.

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

See how Yoplait elongates their containers so that they appear more penis-like than they would otherwise. So they are phallic cultists.

Also, Yoplait is an anagram for "A Lip Toy": they are encouraging us to buy sex toys, particularly the receptive ones, which balances the phallic symbolism, showing that Yoplait is a debauched fertility cult!

[JoshuaBlackmaster]

That hermaphrodite pervert hellyweird queer Jamie Lee Curtis is always on the tv machine telling me to eat yogurt. This assures me that it is a sinful seed of demons.

[WilliamJenningsBryan]

Originally Posted by JoshuaBlackmaster

That hermaphrodite pervert hellyweird queer Jamie Lee Curtis is always on the tv machine telling me to eat yogurt. This assures me that it is a sinful seed of demons.

Seed of demons indeed – and started by the French (and no doubt the cathylicks were involved somehow). Eat yogurt and you will get an uncontrollable desire to start waving white flags.

…
In 1964, 100,000 French farmers merged their regional dairy cooperatives to sell nationally. In 1965, two co-ops, "Yola" and "Coplait", merged, becoming "Yoplait".
…
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yoplait

[Nobar King]

To me, yogurt is like cottage cheese: only women eat it.

[Redeemed Papist]

Originally Posted by Nobar King

To me, yogurt is like cottage cheese: only women eat it.

That's not all they do with it. It's too disgusting to post but suffice to say they smear it on their parts when they become diseased.

[Abner Leopold]

My father raised me in a firm Baptist household, he is a very wise man. He always told me as a child to stay away from such items as , yogurts, castor oil, or any product that proclaims to aid in digestion, or any type of laxative in any form or disguise. The way he explained it, was that they were all just demonic products made by the catholics intended for use by the altar boys as a reason for the perverse priests to get them alone in the bathroom more often, now these days its seems that the evil television monster's are targeting women, however I think they are merely targeting women because they are the ones who do the grocery shopping & its really a ploy just to get the demonic products into the homes of innocent young boys, once in the home they try to lure them with fruity flavors & gay packaging. With the ultimate goal of creating more homosexuals for the big catholic orgy in hell. Protect your household from this plague, and ban these products from entering, if you don't educate your wife, she might just be seduced into buying some herself. Then you are the one who pays the ultimate price, because when you have to give her a stern beating for her sinful doings, you are the one left with sore hands and arms from punishing her for her own sinful mistakes. Not to mention, waiting until she us able to get up off the floor & clean up the bloody mess that her sinful deed created in the first place.Educate her before she goes to the store, that's the key, it will save your hands a lot of pain & suffering!

[Thomas Dalton]

Those Atheists think that bacteria solve everything.
They even make medicines such as insulin from bacteria derived from feces!

On one hand they warn against E. coli, on the other hand they use it to "save lives."

Will they never stop trying to force their depraved lifestyle on us? My grandfather rather died than use medicine from someones anus, and I think he was right. He's with Jesus now .

[Bobby-Joe]

Originally Posted by Thomas Dalton

Those Atheists think that bacteria solve everything.
They even make medicines such as insulin from bacteria derived from feces!

On one hand they warn against E. coli, on the other hand they use it to "save lives."

Will they never stop trying to force their depraved lifestyle on us? My grandfather rather died than use medicine from someones anus, and I think he was right. He's with Jesus now .

Notice what is in common with ALL of the; the colon!

Atheists are just obsessed with anal sex and see it everywhere.

[Rev. Jim Osborne]

It takes iron balls to market cholera to a bunch of unsuspecting bubble-headed soccer moms and shoulder-padded career broads as a "laxative". Although, not as ballsy as that company in the early 80's that was giving people the AIDS virus to help them lose weight. They called it the AYDS Diet.

Anyways, it's unhealthy and not recommended to be filling your gut with bacteria. Normal people should only defecate once a week, if that. I know with my heavy diet of red meat and starches, I rarely have to use a bathroom. My doctor says I have thirty pounds of impacted fecal matter caked to the walls of my colon. He suggested a "cleansing" plan, but I told him I'm a straight and narrow True Christian™ pastor who is not up for some S&M games involving a long suction tube and a man wearing a rubber glove.

[Cranky Old Man]

Originally Posted by Old Man Hatchet

Lactobacillus acidophilus and Steptococcus thermophilus

As soon as scientists start using words like that you know that they are lying. Actually as soon as a scientist starts moving his mouth you know he is lying.

I limit myself to eating food approved by God!


Genesis 9:3 "Every moving thing that liveth, shall be meat for you."

[lukasekman]

Steptococcus thermophilus sound nasty for sure. Streptococcus is known for causing several diseases like strep throat, autism and necrotizing fasciitis. The latter have a 74 percent mortality rate. In addition, thermophilus mean that the germ have great heat resistance, making it likely to resist heating and immune response.

[Old Man Hatchet]

Originally Posted by lukasekman

the germ have great heat resistance, making it likely to resist heating and immune response.

By "germ" I assume you mean "demon." And demons come from the fiery pits of hell, so clearly they are heat resistant. Rather than stating the obvious, try conducting a bit of research and sharing something substantive as I have.

Originally Posted by Old Man Hatchet

The term "probiotic" is often associated with yogurt. I think that means it can turn you into a robot.

[sam_goggin]

Originally Posted by Old Man Hatchet

The dairy industry touts yogurt as "healthy." They claim it "aids digestion." Why? Yogurt supposedly contains good-for-you bacteria called Lactobacillus acidophilus and Steptococcus thermophilus. That's fancy talk for "tiny demons." And I don't know about you, but I don't want anything called "Steptococcus" anywhere near my mouth or posterior.

Indigestion is caused by colon demons. So consuming yogurt compounds the problem. You're just sending in reinforcements. Worse still, yogurt demons make you gay. They take over your backside and make you "lieth" with another man. Yogurt also comes in all kinds of fruity flavors. That's a big warning sign right there. And be wary of Greek yogurt.


Greek yogurt: Twice the gay.

The term "probiotic" is often associated with yogurt. I think that means it can turn you into a robot.


A gay robot, not a cool one like Steve Austin.

If you're experiencing indigestion, do NOT turn to yogurt. There's only one sensible solution--scream Bible verses at the miniature demons inhabiting your gastrointestinal tract. Praise Jesus.

you do realize that your stomach has bacteria for breaking down food right. they arnt even of human creation we consume them. according to your definition "demons" are keeping us alive

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Dead possums get broken down by moths. M't:6:19: Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal:

Stuff in the stomach is simply "dealt with". Demons eat some of it and make people thin and they put evil stuff into the stomachs of sinners so that they suffer from diarrhea.

I suggest you study the science of Vitalism - which explains everything:
Vitalism is

1. a doctrine that the functions of a living organism are due to a vital principle distinct from biochemical reactions.
2. a doctrine that the processes of life are not explicable by the laws of physics and chemistry alone and that life is due to God's Will.

You then may be qualified to post on such Biblical Scientific matters.

[Old Man Hatchet]

Originally Posted by hells little angel

you do realize that your stomach has bacteria for breaking down food right.

That makes zero sense. How would YOU know what's in MY stomach? For the record, it's half a bag of Cheetos. You ever see an old man eat Cheetos? It's not pretty.

[Bobby-Joe]

Originally Posted by Old Man Hatchet

That makes zero sense. How would YOU know what's in MY stomach? For the record, it's half a bag of Cheetos. You ever see an old man eat Cheetos? It's not pretty.

Godly point Brother Hatchet. The poster was banned for violating your privacy and most likely being a moral degenerate. These secularists are all just perverts who see sex in the most ordinary of things.

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe

Atheists are just obsessed with anal sex and see it everywhere.

Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe

These secularists are all just perverts who see sex in the most ordinary of things.

It is Satan whispering in their ear that causes them to conceive of all sorts of places to hide phallic symbols that the rest of us consequently have to find and ignore. I know I never look at a phallic symbol twice! But liberals will get down on their knees and worship them, fornicating on pentagrams and sacrificing fetuses in the penis shaped umbra of some Satanic architecture.

I never allow my wife to look out windows, for fear that she will be driven crazy by the looming penis shaped trees that have invaded even the otherwise Godly sanctum of Freehold.

Oh, Jesus, continue to protect my rectum from the penis obsessed liberal idolaters and their stony altar dildos!

[Old Man Hatchet]

There is a yogurt made for children called "Gogurt."



The brightly-colored yogurt is packaged in a long tube. The child is forced to suck and slurp the yogurt out.



Apparently the powers-that-be at Yoplait want to turn boys gay and train girls to be pecker-servicing harlots. And just when you think it can't get any worse, there's this:



If this "Gogurt" were not designed for dairy-based sexual deviance, why on earth would it need to glow in the dark? I am filled with moral outrage and more than a passing curiosity!

[Nobar King]

Glow in the dark yogurt is about as useful as a glow in the dark Frisbee. Remember those? They don't glow forever, so you need a light to charge it with, and then you're supposed to run around in the dark and risk tripping over everything?

If I could get something useful it would be a glow in the dark toilet seat.