General Church Fellowship A place for True Christians to join in praise, faith and fellowship. |
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Distinguished Professor of Prayer Healing and Creation Zoology (Baraminology) Victim of atheist scientific persecution
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Posts: 10,337
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: On a mission in Godless Europistan
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Happy Birthday, Pastor Bathfire! -
11-27-2015, 06:26 AM
May Jesus release you from this repulsive world of Sodomists and may you watch the drama of the tribulations from your outlook spot in Heaven very very soon!
2 Thessalonians 1:8
In flaming fire taking vengeance on them that know not God, and that obey not the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ:
Let us hope this is realized soon as some things written by Jesus are still a mystery to me and I really wish to have the crystal clear clarity that awaits us in Paradise!
Isaiah 5:10
Yea, ten acres of vineyard shall yield one bath, and the seed of an homer shall yield an ephah.
Yours in Christ,
Elmer
2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.
PREPARE YOURSELF TO RAPTURE WITH THIS MANUAL!
Check out our Research in Creation Science:
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Matt 19:14 Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven.
True Christian™
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Posts: 816
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Happy Birthday, Pastor Bathfire! -
11-27-2015, 07:30 AM
Oh, what a GLORIOUS occasion! Jesus shone upon the world the day your father did his husband doody unto your mother! I'm sending young Samson to your door to use as you see fit. He's been repenting for what happened in the Baptismal pond last week, so labor him good!
Slathered in the Fresh Hot Blood of the Infant Christ, -Youth Minister Harry Lester
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Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance Christ's Rottweiler
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Posts: 22,744
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Toiling selflessly towards Salvation
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Re: Happy Birthday, Pastor Bathfire! -
11-27-2015, 12:29 PM
I thank you both for your kind words that sustain me on the way to the grave and rest eternal.
The world is changing, what has it come to? What happened to the days where you walked around with a loin cloth on, and ate dung bread?
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Guarding his purity against all comers
True Christian™
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Posts: 1,239
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: OzTrailer
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Re: Happy Birthday, Pastor Bathfire! -
11-27-2015, 12:45 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ezekiel Bathfire
What happened to the days where you walked around with a loin cloth on, and ate dung bread?
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There are still circles where this is possible. May I suggest speaking privately to Minister Harry. May God bless you and take you soon Brother Mr. Bathfire Sir.
Ecclesiastes 1:18 - For in much wisedome is much griefe: and hee that increaseth knowledge, increaseth sorrow.
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Gushing for Jesus
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Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Happy Birthday, Pastor Bathfire! -
11-27-2015, 04:12 PM
A most blessed birthday, Pastor!
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
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South of the Border outreach program True Christian™
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Posts: 13,156
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Godly Midwest
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Re: Happy Birthday, Pastor Bathfire! -
11-27-2015, 08:59 PM
Happy Birthday!!
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,910
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Happy Birthday, Pastor Bathfire! -
11-28-2015, 03:49 AM
So, old man Bathfire has evaded Jesus's beckoning call once again, eh? Well I wish him all the best, and have sent him a case of Polident® as a gentle reminder that when your dentures slip and clack in the middle of a sermon, it can be off-putting.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 1,330
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: In the kitchen
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Re: Happy Birthday, Pastor Bathfire! -
11-28-2015, 10:37 PM
Happy birthday sir!
"Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands." Proverbs 14:1
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Serving Jesus
True Christian™
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Posts: 4,470
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Godly Texas, Besieged by Papist Idol Worshippers
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Re: Happy Birthday, Pastor Bathfire! -
11-28-2015, 11:56 PM
Praise God for another year spent doing His bidding. The road is long and longer for some than for others, but it is straight and narrow for those who can walk it.
God judgeth the righteous, And God is angry with the wicked every day- Psalm 7:11
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Pastor of Hermeneutics and Apologetics Bathed in Christ's Precious Blood Apostle to the Cactuses, Tumbleweeds and Jackrabbits
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Posts: 14,178
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: With my nose stuck in the Bible.
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Re: Happy Birthday, Pastor Bathfire! -
11-29-2015, 12:09 AM
Maybe next year Jesus will scoop you up into His warm and loving embrace. One can only hope to be so lucky as to get to spend eternity as the angels do.
Christians are superior because we possess an understanding that unbelievers lack. It is through the Power of Jesus only the converted mind is able to understand what is going on in the world; what the Communists are really up to; what Satan's intentions are. Most unbelievers do not even believe in Satan and cannot understand his tactics.
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Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 9,984
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: San Francisco, California
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Re: Happy Birthday, Pastor Bathfire! -
11-29-2015, 12:37 PM
Brother Bathfire, I must apologize for the tardiness of this birthday wish, and your birthday present.
I ran into some trouble at the border, wouldn't you know.
Apparently Polynesian servant girls are not supposed to be shipped as livestock.
Who knew?
WARNING:
In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.
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True Christian™ Just a Regular Nice Guy
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Posts: 29,835
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Between Lynchburg and Walton's Mountain
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Re: Happy Birthday, Pastor Bathfire! -
11-30-2015, 09:28 PM
Brother Bathfire, I am so sorry I missed your celebration. I was in Budapest, arranging for the importation of a few containers of workers for my plantation. It seems the refugees will do anything to get out and will pay to work for me, $25,000 USD cash per body. No papers needed, no traces! So you can imagine how I needed to act fast. (A a big thanks to Free Market Fred for brokering the deal).
As a token of the fellowship, I have sent of a case of Macallan 55 Year single malt. I hope you enjoy it and that I'll pray there is a drop left for us to share during my next visit.
I'll be in the port of Baltimore waiting on the ship to arrive with my containers. Once settled, I'll give you a call and make arrangements to swing by on my next humanitarian trip.
Jesus blesses those that reach out to the lost sheeple.
Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running aka the BiblethumpinBlonde
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,473
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Apostles Grove, Freehold, IA
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Re: Happy Birthday, Pastor Bathfire! -
12-01-2015, 11:55 PM
BLESSED BELATED BIRTHDAY WISHES, Brother Bathfire. I would have wished you birthday blessing last week - but it was my unclean time and I was locked in my mestra hut all week. I do hope you were able to enjoy your wife's pie
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