Straight 4 Jesus! (Back Door Christians) At LBC, we will cure your perversion of choice (even if we have to stone you). |
|
True Christian™
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 871
Join Date: Jan 2010
|
|
Female Fag Cured! -
10-28-2011, 11:49 AM
Great news everyone, lesbianism can be cured! And all it takes is rounding them up and then pepper spraying them.
http://m.dailymail.co.uk/mobile/news...icleID=2053787
One of the America's most militant heterophopic gays was caught by the heroes of the NYPD after she rioted and attacked the police at one of the Occupy Wall Street protests. All in all she was a horrible person, but a single application of pepper spray turned her life around: she fell in love with a man!
I urge every loving Christian to carry pepper spray at all times so you can help cure any faggotry you encounter.Saving homosexuals from Hell is the most kind and altruistic thing a Christian can do.
As pepper spray is quite harmless (all it really does is clear out the sinuses) you can be quite liberal in using it. Women with short hair? Dose them! Men speaking with a lisp? Spray 'em! Spread the love, the love of Christ, with an aerosol spray can!
Leviticus 26:15-16
And if ye shall despise my statutes, or if your soul abhor my judgments, so that ye will not do all my commandments, but that ye break my covenant: I also will do this unto you; I will even appoint over you terror, consumption, and the burning ague, that shall consume the eyes, and cause sorrow of heart: and ye shall sow your seed in vain, for your enemies shall eat it.
|
|
Completely CRAZY for the Lord
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 14,663
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Leviticus Landing
|
|
Re: Female Fag Cured! -
10-28-2011, 11:59 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by A Follower
|
Is this some new meaning of "peaceful" I haven't heard of?
|
|
Walking in all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord blameless.
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 15,223
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Thong-infested Florida©
|
|
Re: Female Fag Cured! -
10-28-2011, 12:07 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by A Follower
Great news everyone, lesbianism can be cured! And all it takes is rounding them up and then pepper spraying them.
http://m.dailymail.co.uk/mobile/news...icleID=2053787
One of the America's most militant heterophopic gays was caught by the heroes of the NYPD after she rioted and attacked the police at one of the Occupy Wall Street protests. All in all she was a horrible person, but a single application of pepper spray turned her life around: she fell in love with a man!
I urge every loving Christian to carry pepper spray at all times so you can help cure any faggotry you encounter.Saving homosexuals from Hell is the most kind and altruistic thing a Christian can do.
As pepper spray is quite harmless (all it really does is clear out the sinuses) you can be quite liberal in using it. Women with short hair? Dose them! Men speaking with a lisp? Spray 'em! Spread the love, the love of Christ, with an aerosol spray can!
|
I wonder if you can use RoundUp©? I bought a big old jug of that at the WalMart, and I have about half of it left.
Yours in Christ,
Z. Smyth
|
|
Completely CRAZY for the Lord
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 14,663
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Leviticus Landing
|
|
Re: Female Fag Cured! -
10-28-2011, 12:16 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zechariah Smyth
I wonder if you can use RoundUp©? I bought a big old jug of that at the WalMart, and I have about half of it left.
Yours in Christ,
Z. Smyth
|
or "Brushoff"
|
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
|
|
Posts: 2
Join Date: Mar 2010
|
|
Re: Female Fag Cured! -
10-28-2011, 01:24 PM
A friend of mine was once caught smoking by his father. Being the dutiful parent he was, his father locked him in a closet and made him smoke a whole pack of high-strength cigars. When my friend emerged, red-eyed and borderline emphysemic, he was cured of his addiction to nicotene-related products for life.
I wonder if the same principle could be applied here?
Lock one of them faggots in a room with 15 huge unsavable sodomists and let him be 'known' by each and every one until he has gulped enough of their seed that his eyes start to leak man-spore and release him only when he is bleeding repentance from every single orifice.
I've never tested this method, but surely this would cure all but the most deviant of backdoorists.
|
|
Walking in all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord blameless.
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 15,223
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Thong-infested Florida©
|
|
Re: Female Fag Cured! -
10-28-2011, 01:38 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by daveyboysim
A friend of mine was once caught smoking by his father. Being the dutiful parent he was, his father locked him in a closet and made him smoke a whole pack of high-strength cigars. When my friend emerged, red-eyed and borderline emphysemic, he was cured of his addiction to nicotene-related products for life.
I wonder if the same principle could be applied here?
Lock one of them faggots in a room with 15 huge unsavable sodomists and let him be 'known' by each and every one until he has gulped enough of their seed that his eyes start to leak man-spore and release him only when he is bleeding repentance from every single orifice.
I've never tested this method, but surely this would cure all but the most deviant of backdoorists.
|
Friend, I chugged enough man-seed during my sodomite days to fill a clawfoot bathtub, but that isn't what made me change my ways.
No, it was the sweet, sweet love of Our Lord Jesus Christ, coupled with His Pure Blood that washed my sins away forever and delivered me from my homersexural deathstyle choice.
In other words: it's not what you DO, it's what you BELIEVE.
(Ephesians 2:8) "For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God."
Yours in Christ,
Z. Smyth
|
|
Winning Souls in his Winnebago
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 3,893
Join Date: May 2010
Location: travelling the heartland in my Winnebago.
|
|
Re: Female Fag Cured! -
10-28-2011, 01:59 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zechariah Smyth
Friend, I chugged enough man-seed during my sodomite days to fill a clawfoot bathtub, but that isn't what made me change my ways.
Attachment 17489
No, it was the sweet, sweet love of Our Lord Jesus Christ, coupled with His Pure Blood that washed my sins away forever and delivered me from my homersexural deathstyle choice.
In other words: it's not what you DO, it's what you BELIEVE.
(Ephesians 2:8) "For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God."
Yours in Christ,
Z. Smyth
|
As always. Inspirational Z., inspirational!
1 Chronicles 16:15
Be ye mindful always of his covenant; the word which he commanded to a thousand generations ... an everlasting covenant.
Proverbs 30:5,6: Every word of God is pure: he is a shield unto them that put their trust in him.
Add thou not unto his words, lest he reprove thee, and thou be found a liar.
|
|
Senior Pastor Ex-liberal; converted to True Christianity™ Always Biblically correct
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 10,667
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: 13706 Levite's Sojourn Terr., Gibeah Hill, Freehold, Iowa
|
|
Re: Female Fag Cured! -
10-29-2011, 04:14 PM
I don't normally trust the lie-beral lamestream MSM, especially from England and other leftist countries, but given The Daily Mail's positive stance on issues of queeritude, I am inclined to believe it.
This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.
Questions to ask liberal "Christians" ✞ Things that the Bible doesn't say ✞ Tolerance
|
Thread Tools |
|
Display Modes |
Linear Mode
|
Posting Rules
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
|
|
|
Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9 Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved
|