Go Back   The Landover Baptist Church Forum > Church Forums > Straight 4 Jesus! (Back Door Christians)
Reload this Page Female Fag Cured!
Straight 4 Jesus! (Back Door Christians) At LBC, we will cure your perversion of choice (even if we have to stone you).

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
(#1)
Old
A Follower's Avatar
A Follower A Follower is offline
True Christian™
True Christian™

Protected by JESUS True Scientist™ True Christian™ Heaven Bound Real American™ 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College Friend of Jesus Tell her once One Year/1000 posts Porn Resistant Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Saved 1 Year Pro-Life Christian Love 3rd Year Bible College Touched by Jesus Flat Earth TC Bravery Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 871
Join Date: Jan 2010
A Follower will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!A Follower will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!A Follower will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!A Follower will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!A Follower will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!A Follower will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!A Follower will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!A Follower will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!A Follower will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!A Follower will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!A Follower will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Female Fag Cured! - 10-28-2011, 11:49 AM

Great news everyone, lesbianism can be cured! And all it takes is rounding them up and then pepper spraying them.

http://m.dailymail.co.uk/mobile/news...icleID=2053787

One of the America's most militant heterophopic gays was caught by the heroes of the NYPD after she rioted and attacked the police at one of the Occupy Wall Street protests. All in all she was a horrible person, but a single application of pepper spray turned her life around: she fell in love with a man!

I urge every loving Christian to carry pepper spray at all times so you can help cure any faggotry you encounter.Saving homosexuals from Hell is the most kind and altruistic thing a Christian can do.

As pepper spray is quite harmless (all it really does is clear out the sinuses) you can be quite liberal in using it. Women with short hair? Dose them! Men speaking with a lisp? Spray 'em! Spread the love, the love of Christ, with an aerosol spray can!


Leviticus 26:15-16
And if ye shall despise my statutes, or if your soul abhor my judgments, so that ye will not do all my commandments, but that ye break my covenant: I also will do this unto you; I will even appoint over you terror, consumption, and the burning ague, that shall consume the eyes, and cause sorrow of heart: and ye shall sow your seed in vain, for your enemies shall eat it.
Reply With Quote
(#2)
Old
MitzaLizalor's Avatar
MitzaLizalor MitzaLizalor is offline
Completely CRAZY for the Lord
True Christian™

Protected by JESUS True Christian Caucasian Ready for the Rapture Heaven Bound Mission to Australia Christian Love Real American™ Friend of Jesus Flat Earth TC Bravery The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking One Year/1000 posts Best stoning bucket True Christian Lady Pro-Life True Scientist™ True Christian™ True Christian Artist True Christian Beauty Most Obedient Batman Shooting Survivor Kangi Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Prayer Warrior Early riser Nuts for JESUS! Touched by Jesus Color wheel Trumpette Anti-sodomy Hands Off 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 5 Years Stamp of Approval Tagging for Jesus In Love With Zeke BFF of Jesus God's chosen ones Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Grammar Nazi GLORY Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Saved 10 Years Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Polling for Christ Anti-Biden Midget porn survivor Aardvark

 
Posts: 14,663
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Leviticus Landing
MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Female Fag Cured! - 10-28-2011, 11:59 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by A Follower View Post
http://m.dailymail.co.uk/mobile/news...icleID=2053787

Quote:
PEACEFUL FEMALE PROTESTORS etc.
Is this some new meaning of "peaceful" I haven't heard of?
Reply With Quote
(#3)
Old
Zechariah Smyth's Avatar
Zechariah Smyth Zechariah Smyth is offline
Walking in all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord blameless.
True Christian™

Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus Tell her once Flat Earth Real American™ True Christian™ Christian Love The Hatchet Child Rearing Award Tin Tither True Christian Provider™ award Porn Resistant Persecuted Pro-Life Teabag Patriot 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College One Year/1000 posts Ex-Gay Eats the Most Pork Saved 1 Year True Republican 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Sons of Liberty Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Prayer Warrior Touched by Jesus Babysitter Gunfest '14 Stamp of Approval Anti-sodomy Pancake Dinner Vickers Pastor Ezekiel Heaven Bound TC Bravery The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking The Lord’s Witness Wound Cup of Jesus Crown of Incorruptibility Crown of Life

 
Posts: 15,223
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Thong-infested Florida©
Zechariah Smyth will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Zechariah Smyth will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Zechariah Smyth will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Zechariah Smyth will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Zechariah Smyth will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Zechariah Smyth will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Zechariah Smyth will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Zechariah Smyth will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Zechariah Smyth will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Zechariah Smyth will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Zechariah Smyth will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Female Fag Cured! - 10-28-2011, 12:07 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by A Follower View Post
Great news everyone, lesbianism can be cured! And all it takes is rounding them up and then pepper spraying them.

http://m.dailymail.co.uk/mobile/news...icleID=2053787

One of the America's most militant heterophopic gays was caught by the heroes of the NYPD after she rioted and attacked the police at one of the Occupy Wall Street protests. All in all she was a horrible person, but a single application of pepper spray turned her life around: she fell in love with a man!

I urge every loving Christian to carry pepper spray at all times so you can help cure any faggotry you encounter.Saving homosexuals from Hell is the most kind and altruistic thing a Christian can do.

As pepper spray is quite harmless (all it really does is clear out the sinuses) you can be quite liberal in using it. Women with short hair? Dose them! Men speaking with a lisp? Spray 'em! Spread the love, the love of Christ, with an aerosol spray can!
I wonder if you can use RoundUp©? I bought a big old jug of that at the WalMart, and I have about half of it left.



Yours in Christ,

Z. Smyth


Reply With Quote
(#4)
Old
MitzaLizalor's Avatar
MitzaLizalor MitzaLizalor is offline
Completely CRAZY for the Lord
True Christian™

Protected by JESUS True Christian Caucasian Ready for the Rapture Heaven Bound Mission to Australia Christian Love Real American™ Friend of Jesus Flat Earth TC Bravery The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking One Year/1000 posts Best stoning bucket True Christian Lady Pro-Life True Scientist™ True Christian™ True Christian Artist True Christian Beauty Most Obedient Batman Shooting Survivor Kangi Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Prayer Warrior Early riser Nuts for JESUS! Touched by Jesus Color wheel Trumpette Anti-sodomy Hands Off 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 5 Years Stamp of Approval Tagging for Jesus In Love With Zeke BFF of Jesus God's chosen ones Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Grammar Nazi GLORY Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Saved 10 Years Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Polling for Christ Anti-Biden Midget porn survivor Aardvark

 
Posts: 14,663
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Leviticus Landing
MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Female Fag Cured! - 10-28-2011, 12:16 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Zechariah Smyth View Post
I wonder if you can use RoundUp©? I bought a big old jug of that at the WalMart, and I have about half of it left.



Yours in Christ,

Z. Smyth
or "Brushoff"
Reply With Quote
(#5)
Old
daveyboysim daveyboysim is offline
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
 
Posts: 2
Join Date: Mar 2010
daveyboysim is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: Female Fag Cured! - 10-28-2011, 01:24 PM

A friend of mine was once caught smoking by his father. Being the dutiful parent he was, his father locked him in a closet and made him smoke a whole pack of high-strength cigars. When my friend emerged, red-eyed and borderline emphysemic, he was cured of his addiction to nicotene-related products for life.

I wonder if the same principle could be applied here?

Lock one of them faggots in a room with 15 huge unsavable sodomists and let him be 'known' by each and every one until he has gulped enough of their seed that his eyes start to leak man-spore and release him only when he is bleeding repentance from every single orifice.

I've never tested this method, but surely this would cure all but the most deviant of backdoorists.
Reply With Quote
(#6)
Old
Zechariah Smyth's Avatar
Zechariah Smyth Zechariah Smyth is offline
Walking in all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord blameless.
True Christian™

Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus Tell her once Flat Earth Real American™ True Christian™ Christian Love The Hatchet Child Rearing Award Tin Tither True Christian Provider™ award Porn Resistant Persecuted Pro-Life Teabag Patriot 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College One Year/1000 posts Ex-Gay Eats the Most Pork Saved 1 Year True Republican 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Sons of Liberty Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Prayer Warrior Touched by Jesus Babysitter Gunfest '14 Stamp of Approval Anti-sodomy Pancake Dinner Vickers Pastor Ezekiel Heaven Bound TC Bravery The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking The Lord’s Witness Wound Cup of Jesus Crown of Incorruptibility Crown of Life

 
Posts: 15,223
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Thong-infested Florida©
Zechariah Smyth will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Zechariah Smyth will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Zechariah Smyth will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Zechariah Smyth will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Zechariah Smyth will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Zechariah Smyth will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Zechariah Smyth will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Zechariah Smyth will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Zechariah Smyth will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Zechariah Smyth will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Zechariah Smyth will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Female Fag Cured! - 10-28-2011, 01:38 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by daveyboysim View Post
A friend of mine was once caught smoking by his father. Being the dutiful parent he was, his father locked him in a closet and made him smoke a whole pack of high-strength cigars. When my friend emerged, red-eyed and borderline emphysemic, he was cured of his addiction to nicotene-related products for life.

I wonder if the same principle could be applied here?

Lock one of them faggots in a room with 15 huge unsavable sodomists and let him be 'known' by each and every one until he has gulped enough of their seed that his eyes start to leak man-spore and release him only when he is bleeding repentance from every single orifice.

I've never tested this method, but surely this would cure all but the most deviant of backdoorists.
Friend, I chugged enough man-seed during my sodomite days to fill a clawfoot bathtub, but that isn't what made me change my ways.

Name:  jizz_filled_tub.jpg
Views: 255
Size:  15.6 KB

No, it was the sweet, sweet love of Our Lord Jesus Christ, coupled with His Pure Blood that washed my sins away forever and delivered me from my homersexural deathstyle choice.

In other words: it's not what you DO, it's what you BELIEVE.

(Ephesians 2:8) "For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God."



Yours in Christ,

Z. Smyth


Reply With Quote
(#7)
Old
Benedict A. Davis's Avatar
Benedict A. Davis Benedict A. Davis is offline
Winning Souls in his Winnebago
True Christian™

True Christian™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Silver Tither One Year/1000 posts Friend of Jesus Christian Love Flat Earth Tell her once Real American™ Persecuted Teabag Patriot Porn Resistant Pro-Life Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award

 
Posts: 3,893
Join Date: May 2010
Location: travelling the heartland in my Winnebago.
Benedict A. Davis will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Benedict A. Davis will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Benedict A. Davis will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Benedict A. Davis will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Benedict A. Davis will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Benedict A. Davis will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Benedict A. Davis will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Benedict A. Davis will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Benedict A. Davis will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Benedict A. Davis will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Benedict A. Davis will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Female Fag Cured! - 10-28-2011, 01:59 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Zechariah Smyth View Post
Friend, I chugged enough man-seed during my sodomite days to fill a clawfoot bathtub, but that isn't what made me change my ways.

Attachment 17489

No, it was the sweet, sweet love of Our Lord Jesus Christ, coupled with His Pure Blood that washed my sins away forever and delivered me from my homersexural deathstyle choice.

In other words: it's not what you DO, it's what you BELIEVE.

(Ephesians 2:8) "For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God."



Yours in Christ,

Z. Smyth
As always. Inspirational Z., inspirational!


1 Chronicles 16:15
Be ye mindful always of his covenant; the word which he commanded to a thousand generations ... an everlasting covenant.
Proverbs 30:5,6: Every word of God is pure: he is a shield unto them that put their trust in him.
Add thou not unto his words, lest he reprove thee, and thou be found a liar.

Reply With Quote
(#8)
Old
Pastor Isaac Peters's Avatar
Pastor Isaac Peters Pastor Isaac Peters is offline
Senior Pastor
Ex-liberal; converted to True Christianity™
Always Biblically correct
True Christian™

1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Publisher's Choice True Heterosexual™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Tithing Manager Christian Love Ex-Mary Worshipper Long service medal, 2nd class Senior Pastor Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture Ex-liberal True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Eats the Most Pork Outreach preacher True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Hatchet Child Rearing Award Prayer Warrior Touched by Jesus Anti-sodomy Hands Off Crown of Glory Probing for Jesus Alternative Facts Anti-Biden

 
Posts: 10,667
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: 13706 Levite's Sojourn Terr., Gibeah Hill, Freehold, Iowa
Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Female Fag Cured! - 10-29-2011, 04:14 PM

I don't normally trust the lie-beral lamestream MSM, especially from England and other leftist countries, but given The Daily Mail's positive stance on issues of queeritude, I am inclined to believe it.


This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

Questions to ask liberal "Christians"Things that the Bible doesn't sayTolerance

Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Find Additional Forums Here



Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved