Go Back   The Landover Baptist Church Forum > Church Forums > THE WAR ON CHRISTMAS!
Reload this Page what to place in your child's stockings this year!!!
THE WAR ON CHRISTMAS! Open for the CHRISTmas Season only.

 
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
(#1)
Old
despising david's Avatar
despising david despising david is offline
Forum Member
Forum Member
 
Posts: 144
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: godless vancouver washington
despising david is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.despising david is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.despising david is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default what to place in your child's stockings this year!!! - 11-13-2010, 06:53 AM

As we all know satan is pushing sugar plumbs and candy and other devices down our childrens stockings for them to be distracted from God. However there is one gift that keeps on giving for eternity! SLIPS!!!!!
Especially great for that child who's just learning to read, Slips not only can give the kid's a great fun time but they can start to learn to fear God at the same time they learn to read!! If you have not seen one before here are a few examples of the good times that await your child!


Here is one for a new age of love!!!


and one that especially brings home the bacon!!!


I am giddy with joy waiting for Jesus's birthday to give these to my nephews!


Deuteronomy 6:5
Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.
(#2)
Old
Brother Harold Porter's Avatar
Brother Harold Porter Brother Harold Porter is offline
Landover Senior Outreach
Touching Men, Women and Children with the Good News!
True Christian™

Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound True Christian™ Ex-Masturbator True Christian Caucasian Ready for the Rapture Bronze Tither True Scientist™ True Christian Hotrodder Christian Love 1st Year Bible College Real American™ Friend of Jesus Ex-Gay Flat Earth One Year/1000 posts Ex-liberal Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas The Lord’s Witness Wound TC Bravery Super Soaker Baptism Award True Christian Provider™ award Punched the most queers Tagging for Jesus Saved 1 Year Eats the Most Pork True Republican Early riser Teabag Patriot Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Prayer Warrior Saved 5 Years 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Stamp of Approval The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Pastor Ezekiel Public Awareness Medal Crown of Life Crown of Incorruptibility Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts BFF of Jesus Crown of Righteousness Asked questions later Trump of GOD True Heterosexual™

 
Posts: 8,237
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Freehold Senior Estates
Brother Harold Porter will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Harold Porter will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Harold Porter will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Harold Porter will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Harold Porter will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Harold Porter will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Harold Porter will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Harold Porter will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Harold Porter will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Harold Porter will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Harold Porter will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: what to place in your child's stockings this year!!! - 11-13-2010, 08:22 PM

I'm thinking of one of these personal computer video games for the grandkids to share. Leaning toward "Truth Seekers: Battle Against The Lies" as the most educational for the youngsters. But hard to pass up the "Bible Champions" series too. I'll pray on which one to buy on the world wide web.

Name:  truthseeker-235x313.jpg
Views: 449
Size:  19.3 KB

Name:  BibleChampionsfrontv1.jpg
Views: 449
Size:  40.5 KB

Name:  Bible_20Champions_20Volume_20II-313x427.jpg
Views: 452
Size:  30.4 KB


Matthew 19:14 "But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven."

(#3)
Old
Bible Master's Avatar
Bible Master Bible Master is offline
Forum Member
Forum Member
 
Posts: 3
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Topeka, Kansas
Bible Master is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: what to place in your child's stockings this year!!! - 11-13-2010, 08:54 PM

Children should become ... nothing!

Presents are only for buisness partners, or other people outside the family. Never give your wife a present!

Proverbs 17:8

8A gift is as a precious stone in the eyes of him that hath it: whithersoever it turneth, it prospereth.


Proverbs 21:19

19It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman.
(#4)
Old
SheepOfGod's Avatar
SheepOfGod SheepOfGod is offline
Forum Member
Forum Member
 
Posts: 119
Join Date: Oct 2010
SheepOfGod has had a couple of people click the rep button.SheepOfGod has had a couple of people click the rep button.SheepOfGod has had a couple of people click the rep button.SheepOfGod has had a couple of people click the rep button.SheepOfGod has had a couple of people click the rep button.
Default Re: what to place in your child's stockings this year!!! - 11-16-2010, 03:33 AM

I don't have any kids but I have some close friends with kids and I am gonna put one of these in each one of the little ones stockings.


GOD HATE FAGS
Athiesm is a form of mental illness that should be treated immediately.
(#5)
Old
despising david's Avatar
despising david despising david is offline
Forum Member
Forum Member
 
Posts: 144
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: godless vancouver washington
despising david is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.despising david is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.despising david is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: what to place in your child's stockings this year!!! - 11-16-2010, 03:38 AM

That's a plus!! I would just be worried about the stocking's ability to hold the weight of the greatness of a KJV 1611, I think you should wake the children up by beating them with their new bibles!! In addition to being a good introduction to the beginning of loving Christ they wouldn't mistake who gave them the gift with satan Clause


Deuteronomy 6:5
Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.
(#6)
Old
James Hutchins's Avatar
James Hutchins James Hutchins is offline
True Christian™
Just a Regular Nice Guy
 

True Christian™ Silver Tither Christian Love Real American™ True Christian Provider™ award Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator TC Bravery Gunfest '09 Ready for the Rapture Punched the most queers Jailed for JESUS True Christian Caucasian The Lord’s Witness Wound Teabag Patriot Mission to Australia One Year/1000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life ex-sheep-shagger Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Hotrodder Saved 1 Year Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award True Republican Sons of Liberty Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award 20,000 posts Long service medal, 3rd class Home Schooled Touched by Jesus Stamp of Approval Early riser Kirk Cameron Fan Club Trump of GOD Mission to Korea Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off Pastor Ezekiel Crown of Incorruptibility Alternative Facts Mower Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Crown of Righteousness Crown of Life Crown of Rejoicing BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus In Love With Zeke True Christian™ Cowboy GLORY Saved 5 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Saved 10 Years Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Polling for Christ Anti-Biden

 
Posts: 29,835
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Between Lynchburg and Walton's Mountain
James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: what to place in your child's stockings this year!!! - 11-16-2010, 11:01 AM

Well, I am a softie and I do love to spoil my kids.

As soon as a child is one year old, they get a plastic coated KJV Bible.
After that, the boys get guns or dirt bikes, the girls, vacuums or brooms.
When the boys reach 15, they get their first car, always a fixer-uper, like a '78 Porsche whale tail (that is little Esiah's present this year - shhhh) or some other oldie but goodie. I'll never forget little James Jr. (little, he is 37 now) , we got him an old all alloy Speedster. Many a fun night was spent in the shop boring and stroking.
The girls get ironing boards and floor buffers.


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
(#7)
Old
Be Calm's Avatar
Be Calm Be Calm is offline
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
 
Posts: 3
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Council Bluffs, Iowa
Be Calm is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: what to place in your child's stockings this year!!! - 11-26-2010, 02:56 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by despising david View Post
As we all know satan is pushing sugar plumbs and candy and other devices down our childrens stockings for them to be distracted from God. However there is one gift that keeps on giving for eternity! SLIPS!!!!!
Especially great for that child who's just learning to read, Slips not only can give the kid's a great fun time but they can start to learn to fear God at the same time they learn to read!! If you have not seen one before here are a few examples of the good times that await your child!


Here is one for a new age of love!!!


and one that especially brings home the bacon!!!


I am giddy with joy waiting for Jesus's birthday to give these to my nephews!
Your nephews are learning to read? How about a nice pocket Bible?
(#8)
Old
Miss Anna Robinson's Avatar
Miss Anna Robinson Miss Anna Robinson is offline
Forum Member
Forum Member
 
Posts: 16
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Boston
Miss Anna Robinson is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: what to place in your child's stockings this year!!! - 12-15-2013, 12:19 AM

For a daughter, what about this lovely cleaning trolley?
Attached Images
 
(#9)
Old
Pastor Ezekiel's Avatar
Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Uber Angels Driver Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Golden Bear Award Mission Long service medal, 2nd class Aardvark Asked questions later Heart of compassion Crown of Righteousness The Crown of Crowns Crown of Glory Crown of Incorruptibility Crown of Rejoicing Crown of Life BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Mission to the Philippines Clorox Cured Me QAnon Storm Chaser Anti-Biden British Royalty

 
Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: what to place in your child's stockings this year!!! - 12-15-2013, 05:02 AM

Stockings should be filled with Christian candy.



Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
(#10)
Old
IreneS IreneS is offline
Forum Member

Friend of Jesus Cleanest Kitchen Heaven Bound

 
Posts: 197
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Godless New Zealand, land of sheep buggerers
IreneS has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.IreneS has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.IreneS has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.IreneS has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.IreneS has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.IreneS has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.IreneS has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.IreneS has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.
Default Re: what to place in your child's stockings this year!!! - 12-15-2013, 05:40 AM

I'm giving these inflatable Jesus figures to my nephews:


(#11)
Old
Didymus Much's Avatar
Didymus Much Didymus Much is offline
Unsaved trash, Arrogant Atheist Dick
 

Hellbound Heathen Atheist Cancer on Society hippie Caution - Poster is Crazy Evilution Perv Baggie Condemned Reaper Evil Grammar Nazi Democrat Commmmmunnissss How dumb can you get? Five years in the service of the Enemy Beastiality Barney Caution - Poster is on Drugs Demonized Bleeding heart liebral Glutton Drunk Devil Rides the Short Bus Fiddler Potty mouth Retard Posting Philistine skull Pot Head Swiss Skull Sinner Devil's Trill Sonata Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Mower Pastor Ezekiel Prize for Unprecedented Retards Marxist Fake Polling The AIDS Confused about midget porn F1 for Satan

 
Posts: 14,450
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: The other end of the internet
Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: what to place in your child's stockings this year!!! - 12-15-2013, 06:21 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by IreneS View Post
Would Jesus hold His AK-47 by the magazine?


(#12)
Old
IreneS IreneS is offline
Forum Member

Friend of Jesus Cleanest Kitchen Heaven Bound

 
Posts: 197
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Godless New Zealand, land of sheep buggerers
IreneS has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.IreneS has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.IreneS has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.IreneS has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.IreneS has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.IreneS has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.IreneS has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.IreneS has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.
Default Re: what to place in your child's stockings this year!!! - 12-15-2013, 06:28 AM

I think he's replacing the magazine.
(#13)
Old
ProudBrony ProudBrony is offline
Unsaved trash
 
 
Posts: 30
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: bestiality fan
ProudBrony is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.ProudBrony is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Re: what to place in your child's stockings this year!!! - 12-15-2013, 10:29 AM

If I had children id put Halos in their stockings. To let them know they are my little angels.
 

Bookmarks

Tags
christmas, love

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Find Additional Forums Here



Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved