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Default HAPPY BIRTHDAY, James Hutchins! - 06-14-2012, 03:43 PM

BLESSINGS ON THIS
GLORIOUS DAY
THAT GOD MADE YOU!








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My GODLY Bio Here
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Default Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, James Hutchins! - 06-14-2012, 04:59 PM

Brother Hutchins,

Abigail and I extend our best wishes for your special day!!

I was hoping Abigail could make your favorite pie, but it's her unclean time and she's holed up in the menstra-hut.....sorry.
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Default Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, James Hutchins! - 06-14-2012, 05:57 PM

A very blessed birthday to you, Brother Hutchins!


Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Default Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, James Hutchins! - 06-14-2012, 06:09 PM

A happy birthday, Brother James!

I asked Widow Helen to make you a cake inspired by this one, because you work with heavy machinery (large so you can see the detail):



I hope this will be close enough. She just changed medications, and isn't really "on her game", as it were.
(She tried to bake the first attempt in the dishwasher.)

It should arrive tomorrow!



It's her famous Red Velvet cake under the frosting, so don't be surprised by the blood red color.

No Christian babies were harmed in the baking of this cake!


Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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Default Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, James Hutchins! - 06-14-2012, 08:34 PM

I killed a deer in your honor James. With my hummer of course.


Freedom means voting for Donald Trump!
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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Default Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, James Hutchins! - 06-14-2012, 10:52 PM

Brother Hutchins, you have always exemplified kind, tender, tolerant, and loving Christianity. God loves you more with each passing day for being such a good person. May you have many more moons in service to the Lord.

Pastor Ed



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Default Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, James Hutchins! - 06-14-2012, 10:56 PM

Happy birthday Mr. Hutchins, and thanks for letting me shoot your machine gun at those ducks a couple of months ago. That was AWESOME!

YiC,

Zech
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Default Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, James Hutchins! - 06-15-2012, 12:29 AM

You folk all warm the cockles of my heart. The Church fellowship and Love of Jesus we all feel for each other is outstanding. Every morning I am still alive, I stand at attention for a good five minutes, thinking of each and every one of my Freinds of Jesus®, bringing a tear to my eye, joyous at the expressing of my thick love.


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Default Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, James Hutchins! - 06-15-2012, 01:20 AM

A very happy birthday, James! In light of your now well-known kitchen prowess, and in light of how much you love to put your various daughters and nieces to work in the kitchen, I've ordered you this lovely kitchen accessory:



I did pay the installation charge, but I know you're not one to let just any workman enter your home, much less drill holes in your kitchen floor. So I figure when the delivery guy shows up, you can give him a good going-over, and make sure he seems like the kind of man who can drill a hole properly, before you allow him to enter.



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