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Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 9,980
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: San Francisco, California
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Snake Handler Dies of Snake Bite -
05-30-2012, 04:18 AM
Friends, I read the following story with very mixed feeings:
Serpent-handling pastor profiled earlier in Washington Post dies from rattlesnake bite
Quote:
Mack Wolford, a flamboyant Pentecostal pastor from West Virginia whose serpent-handling talents were profiled last November in The Washington Post Magazine , hoped the outdoor service he had planned for Sunday at an isolated state park would be a “homecoming like the old days,” full of folks speaking in tongues, handling snakes and having a “great time.” But it was not the sort of homecoming he foresaw.
Instead, Wolford, who turned 44 the previous day, was bitten by a rattlesnake he owned for years. He died late Sunday...
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On the one hand, I know I should be glad there's one less false Christian in the world confusing people with unsound doctrine. On the other hand, I can't help but feel touched by the strength of this man's convictions. Yes, it was kind of wussy of him to go to the hospital in the end, but if you read the whole story, it looks like he held out as long as he could.
Imagine what God might have used him to accomplish if he'd been safely within the fold of a proper Baptist church! Such a waste!
Isn't there anything we can do to reach out to these Pentacostals? Do any of you have any helpful talking points I might keep in mind when witnessing to Pentacostals? I've often relied on Acts 17:16-34 for guidance in witnessing to unbelievers, but the special challenge the Pentacostal mind poses is that it doesn't see itself as an unbeliever.
I really hope some of you have some good ideas for me, because I'm inclined to just grab the next Pentacostal I see and shake him vigorously. Given the amount of spastic jerking and quaking those folks do in the normal course of their worship, however, I fear he might not notice.
WARNING:
In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
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True Christian™ Creation Scientist Fisher of Men
True Christian™
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Posts: 6,835
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Snake Handler Dies of Snake Bite -
05-30-2012, 04:40 AM
Yet more evidence that Pentecostals are unsaved false believers...
Mark 16:17-18
And these signs shall follow them that believe; In my name shall they cast out devils; they shall speak with new tongues;
They shall take up serpents; and if they drink any deadly thing, it shall not hurt them; they shall lay hands on the sick, and they shall recover.
One of the ways I know I have been saved is by starting out each day with a shot of Clorox in my coffee. If the day ever comes where I am unable to drink deadly things without being hurt, then I will have deserved death for my faith would have waned. If this false-believing Pentecostal bore the fruits of the Spirit as I do, he would not have gone to the secular doctor. It is probably for this reason that the LORD chose to smite him.
II Thessalonians 1:7-9
And to you who are troubled rest with us, when the Lord Jesus shall be revealed from heaven with his mighty angels,
In flaming fire taking vengeance on them that know not God, and that obey not the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ:
Who shall be punished with everlasting destruction from the presence of the Lord, and from the glory of his power
The man who is being progressively sanctified will inescapably sanctify his home, school, politics, economics, science, and all things else by understanding and interpreting all things in terms of the Word of God and by bringing all things under the Dominion of Christ the King. -R.J. Rushdoony
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Family Man of the Year 2010-2013 About as Straight and Manly as you can get Hates anal sex. And trees.
True Christian™
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Posts: 8,323
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Protecting my children from homosexuals
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Re: Snake Handler Dies of Snake Bite -
05-30-2012, 04:45 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jedediah
One of the ways I know I have been saved is by starting out each day with a shot of Clorox in my coffee.
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Amen, brother. If you always give your newborns a shot of bleach in their formula, and they live long enough to understand the Good News© of Christ's temporary sacrifice, then you know it is because God predestined them to be among His elite.
I mean, hypothetically.
The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!
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One of the Lord's Airborne Rangers Salvation from Above God's Favorite Pilot™
True Christian™
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Posts: 6,282
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Flying the Friendly Skies for Jesus!
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Re: Snake Handler Dies of Snake Bite -
05-30-2012, 04:48 AM
What a maroon!
"Look at me! I don't understand the Bible! Here, I'm gonna pick up this poisonous snake and make it mad!
God will protect me from . . . OUCH! Don't worry, I'm fine . . . I'll just sit down here for a minute . . . I can't feel my hands. . .
Winging our Way Across the World for The Lord!
God Bless John Boehner and God Bless the Grand Old Party!
Barack Hussein Obama is not My President!!!
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Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance Christ's Rottweiler
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Posts: 22,727
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Toiling selflessly towards Salvation
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Re: Snake Handler Dies of Snake Bite -
05-30-2012, 10:40 AM
Quote:
Instead, Wolford, who turned 44 the previous day, was bitten by a rattlesnake he owned for years. He died late Sunday...
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A man without faith. A false prophet who was leading his sheep to Damnation. Why otherwise would a snake disobey God?
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Walking in all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord blameless.
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,223
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Thong-infested Florida©
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Re: Snake Handler Dies of Snake Bite -
05-30-2012, 01:48 PM
I lost count some time back, but I think I've been bit by 4 timber rattlers, 6 cottonmouths, and 2 coral snakes (one while I was sleeping).
Never had a problem.
Succumbing to serpent poison is a definite sign of unsteady faith.
YiC,
Zech
P.S. I also got bit by a homeless guy down in Tamarac, but I'm not sure he was poisonous.
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 864
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Following God's commands - including the 'difficult' ones.
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Re: Snake Handler Dies of Snake Bite -
05-30-2012, 01:59 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zechariah Smyth
I lost count some time back, but I think I've been bit by 4 timber rattlers, 6 cottonmouths, and 2 coral snakes (one while I was sleeping).
Never had a problem.
Succumbing to serpent poison is a definite sign of unsteady faith.
YiC,
Zech
P.S. I also got bit by a homeless guy down in Tamarac, but I'm not sure he was poisonous.
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Brother Zechariah that is truly miraculous or did you have the antidote as explained in the Bible:
Numbers 21
8 And the Lord said unto Moses, Make thee a fiery serpent, and set it upon a pole: and it shall come to pass, that every one that is bitten, when he looketh upon it, shall live.
9 And Moses made a serpent of brass, and put it upon a pole, and it came to pass, that if a serpent had bitten any man, when he beheld the serpent of brass, he lived.
This is another example of why the Bible is truly the font of all knowledge. If the snake-handler had bothered to read the Bible and make himself a fiery serpent of brass on a pole it is obvious he would still be here today as you are.
I'm not sure if this would work with the hobo though.
YIC
Genesis 7:5
And Noah did according unto all that the LORD commanded him.
John 8:32
And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.
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Honorary True Christian™
Forum Member
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Posts: 13,993
Join Date: May 2008
Location: North Salem, Indiana
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Re: Snake Handler Dies of Snake Bite -
05-30-2012, 04:42 PM
Naturally, atheists are using this to mock Jesus.
Quote:
God smites snake-fondling pastor
Surely, that’s the only explanation when a Pentacostal pastor, whose Pentacostal pastor father died from a snake bite received during a service, dies from a snake bite received during a service. Right?
Or maybe he was just another fool like his father, playing with poisonous animals and finally ticking the wrong one off.
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Sometimes I wonder if the snake-fondlers are just homosexuals obsessed with phallic objects, or if they really are working for Satan to discredit the Lord.
Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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Family Man of the Year 2010-2013 About as Straight and Manly as you can get Hates anal sex. And trees.
True Christian™
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Posts: 8,323
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Protecting my children from homosexuals
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Re: Snake Handler Dies of Snake Bite -
05-30-2012, 05:52 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. M. Rodimer
Sometimes I wonder if the snake-fondlers are just homosexuals obsessed with phallic objects, or if they really are working for Satan to discredit the Lord.
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I can think of no faster way to get to Hell than to become a Pentecostal.
It is formulaic.
The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!
Last edited by Billy Bob Jenkins; 05-30-2012 at 07:55 PM.
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Helping boys become upright model citizens
True Christian™
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Posts: 1,293
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Columbus, Ohio
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Re: Snake Handler Dies of Snake Bite -
05-30-2012, 07:18 PM
It is certainly no coincidence that he died on the actual Sunday of Pentecost.
"Come Unto Me. Put forth thine hand now, and touch all that he hath." (Matthew 19:14, Job 1:11).
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Former Mary Hailer who has seen The Light©
True Christian™
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Posts: 10,391
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Surrounded By Married Homos and Baby Killers in Godless England
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Re: Snake Handler Dies of Snake Bite -
05-30-2012, 07:21 PM
Matthew 4:5-7
5Then the devil taketh him up into the holy city, and setteth him on a pinnacle of the temple,
6And saith unto him, If thou be the Son of God, cast thyself down: for it is written, He shall give his angels charge concerning thee: and in their hands they shall bear thee up, lest at any time thou dash thy foot against a stone.
7Jesus said unto him, It is written again, Thou shalt not tempt the Lord thy God. Even Jesus didn't dare God to kill Him.
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 6,751
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry, Redding, CA
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Re: Snake Handler Dies of Snake Bite -
05-30-2012, 09:40 PM
A flamboyant preacher? Sounds like just one more dead gay. Now, I don't rejoice when anyone burns in Hell, except a Muslim terrorist or an atheist, but it's hard for me to feel too sorry for a sodomite masquerading as a minister.
Draft Freehold, Iowa Mayor
Johny Joe Hold
for Vice President in 2024
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Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 9,980
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: San Francisco, California
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Re: Snake Handler Dies of Snake Bite -
05-30-2012, 10:56 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. M. Rodimer
Naturally, atheists are using this to mock Jesus.
Sometimes I wonder if the snake-fondlers are just homosexuals obsessed with phallic objects, or if they really are working for Satan to discredit the Lord.
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You think that's an either/or proposition?
WARNING:
In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.
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Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 9,980
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: San Francisco, California
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Re: Snake Handler Dies of Snake Bite -
05-30-2012, 11:04 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. M. Rodimer
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Wait a minute, that link is to the Secular News Network? Isn't that a little like saying, "the wet water" or "the sweet sugar" or "the toxic poison" or "the thieving Armenian"?
WARNING:
In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.
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Honorary True Christian™
Forum Member
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Posts: 13,993
Join Date: May 2008
Location: North Salem, Indiana
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Re: Snake Handler Dies of Snake Bite -
05-30-2012, 11:26 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Faith_Machine
You think that's an either/or proposition?
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I suppose it could be both.
Either way, it's good God smote him.
Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 386
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Geographical center of the Bible belt
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Re: Snake Handler Dies of Snake Bite -
06-04-2012, 02:19 PM
Snake handling is a win-win situation. Letting a poisonous snake bite you will teach you that you are stronger than a serpent. Or it may teach you that good triumphs over evil. Or it may teach you that the Bible got it right yet another time. Or it might just teach you not to mess with poisonous snakes. Any way you look at it, God is teaching you something!
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Mayor of Freehold
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Posts: 12,124
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: City Hall, Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Snake Handler Dies of Snake Bite -
06-04-2012, 02:47 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ezekiel Bathfire
A man without faith. A false prophet who was leading his sheep to Damnation. Why otherwise would a snake disobey God?
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Brother Bathfire--That is the question.
One has to think the pastor had experienced lustful homer thoughts, cursed, did prohibited work on Sunday or some other sin and thought God had not noticed.
God could only have been smiling as the preacher reached for the snake.
Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
Last edited by Johny Joe Hold; 06-04-2012 at 02:49 PM.
Reason: change thought
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 6,751
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry, Redding, CA
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Re: Snake Handler Dies of Snake Bite -
06-04-2012, 03:47 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yea-tho-we-walk
Snake handling is a win-win situation. Letting a poisonous snake bite you will teach you that you are stronger than a serpent. Or it may teach you that good triumphs over evil. Or it may teach you that the Bible got it right yet another time. Or it might just teach you not to mess with poisonous snakes. Any way you look at it, God is teaching you something!
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I think people need to keep things in perspective. The Bible teaches that True Christians™ can handle poisonous serpents without fear, and we can. However, the Bible also tells us that we should "not tempt the Lord." So anyone who handles snakes just to prove that the power of God will let him handle snakes is a sinner, not a True Christian™. Thus God's protection against snakebite only extends to those who do not handle snakes. So kids, don't try this stunt at home.
Draft Freehold, Iowa Mayor
Johny Joe Hold
for Vice President in 2024
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