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True Christian™ Officer of THE Law
True Christian™
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Posts: 490
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Freehold Iowa, God's Favorite City!
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Sheriff Richards Thwarts Black Terrorist Bomb Plot on 4th of July -
07-04-2012, 10:39 PM
You knew it would happen sooner or later: Some insane terrorists would attempt to blow up Freehold. You are all very, very lucky to have me on your side.
I had the air conditioner on full blast as I was just rolling through one of the many fine and well-groomed neighborhoods of Freehold.
Everywhere I looked I saw happy families playing with innocent fireworks like sparklers and those little smoke bomb things.
Then, out of the corner of my eye, I saw something dark and mysterious move from behind a bush. I slowed my cruiser and cast my spotlight in the direction of the suspicious activity, even though it was just after 1:00 in the afternoon. It's a good thing I did, too, because just then a couple of black kids came sauntering out from behind the large bush as though they hadn't even noticed me. One of them was carrying a suspicious, unmarked plastic bag.
I followed the dark kids down the street just like a heroic Caucasian George Zimmerman in a police cruiser, and the suspicious persons kept looking over their shoulder at me. I was wearing my sun glasses so they couldn't see I was glaring at them.
Finally, they walked up the sidewalk of a particularly nice house, and disappeared around back.
It was at this time that I realized something big was getting ready to happen. I could feel it in my heart of hearts, and the Lord was telling me to act quickly and quietly.
I hopped out of my cruiser into thick humid air of July, and quickly reconsidered whether or not the situation was really that serious and if it might be a better idea to go back into my air conditioned cruiser.
After mulling it over for a bit, I decided it was the right thing to do to keep pressing on through the heat. I quickly made my way up the driveway, sweat already forming on my furrowed, manly brow. All my intense physical training was paying off as I pressed my back up against the side of the house and moved silently along the yard.
Then, I heard the distinct sound of the voices of young black men chattering and laughing in their own native tongue. I crouched low and peered around the corner of the house into the backyard.
One of them reached into the unmarked plastic bag and withdrew a gigantic roll of high explosives with a Satanic, black feline face all over the packaging.
It all made sudden sense: These young black men were terrorist operatives of the radical Black Panthers.
They had infiltrated Freehold with the intention of blowing up a Godly, white True Christian home, and I was a single, large, intimidating obstacle between them and their Satanic, racist goal.
The colored boy set the high explosives on the ground and the other one withdrew a cigarette lighter from his pocket.
Now was a time for action.
I lurched from my hiding place, and as I sailed through the air I thought that I would be too late as the colored boy lit the fuse! I collided with the colored boy just as he was turning to run away from the bomb he had just lit, and took him to the ground. Fortunately, he broke my fall and my uniform was not tarnished with dirt or grass. I looked up and saw that his accomplice had escaped.
The black kid started screaming and crying like they do, and I was greatly annoyed but I quickly realized that the battle was only half won as I smelled the smoke of the bomb fuse. Instinctively, I grabbed the black kid and threw him on the bomb and held him down firmly, praying to Jesus that this kid's lanky black body would shield me from obliteration once the bomb went off.
He tried to squirm out from under me but I planted a knee in his groin and headbutted him a few times.
Our struggle was brought to an abrupt end when a muffled explosion rang out, followed by another, and another! In fact, the explosions kept occurring underneath his thrashing body and it seemed like they would never end! How big of a bomb could it be, I wondered.
After what seemed like several minutes, the explosions ended. I breathed a prayer of thanks to God in Heaven that I was able to shield the neighborhood using this America-hating terrorist.
He was crying now, and I yanked him off the bomb and observed the burned spot in the yard. Some hardworking white American had spent lavish amounts of money to nourish and tend this lawn, and now look at it.
Then I observed that the black kid's shirt was on fire. I didn't want him to burn to death, because I wanted him to spend his life in jail, and then die and go to Hell where he would be burned properly.
I hoisted the sobbing black kid up at arm's length and threw him in the swimming pool. After he was extinguished, I managed to fish him out of the pool, only getting my shoes slightly wet.
Suddenly, the backdoor of the house flew open and the escaped accomplice came running out, followed by a black woman who looked a lot like him.
My stomach knotted up. The Black Panthers had already taken over the house and did Lord knows what with the white owners!
"What are you doing to my baby?!" the black woman screamed.
"Never mind that, what have you done with the white owners of this house?" I yelled back, drawing my gun from its holster.
"This is my house, and that is my son!" the colored lady screamed hysterically.
I looked down at the crying boy curled up in a ball, the back of his shirt all burned up and the rest of him soaking wet from the pool.
I kicked his ribs and exclaimed, "This is a dangerous terrorist!"
The black lady screamed and threw herself on the terrorist and dragged him towards the house, crying out, "He's not a terrorist, he's my son and he's only 12 years old, stop it!"
It was at this point I had to taze the woman and handcuff her to the back porch railing. The other colored boy simply stood at a distance crying, and I told him to shut up and cuffed his arm to his alleged brother's ankle. I figured he wouldn't be strong enough to make an escape dragging his accomplice behind him.
"Okay, you terrorist scum," I said to the crying woman cuffed to the porch, "what's your name?"
"Latoya Jackson," she blubbered. A terrorist name if I ever heard one.
I radioed the address of the home and asked them to confirm the owner of the house. After a few minutes, dispatch responded and said the house belonged to a Latoya Jackson.
I released the woman and said, "have a good day, ma'am."
I dragged both of the boys, still cuffed together, to my police cruiser and hauled them in for further questioning. They will remain in custody until they finally confess to being radical Black Panthers intending to blow up the neighborhood. Details will be provided as information becomes available.
For now, I am going to take the rest of the day off to celebrate a job well done.
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As pure and virginal as the driven snow.
True Christian™
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Posts: 4,883
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Sheriff Richards Thwarts Black Terrorist Bomb Plot on 4th of July -
07-04-2012, 10:50 PM
I am glad my father always forbids me to visit the pool. He says it is a place where black kids will rape me. I feel safer already!
I Jesus!
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Sheriff Richards Thwarts Black Terrorist Bomb Plot on 4th of July -
07-05-2012, 01:46 AM
Teenaged coons running loose in Freehold?
Did you locate their mammy yet? Because she is out of a job as of this second. I don't care whose cook she is.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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True Christian™ Just a Regular Nice Guy
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Posts: 29,835
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Between Lynchburg and Walton's Mountain
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Re: Sheriff Richards Thwarts Black Terrorist Bomb Plot on 4th of July -
07-05-2012, 11:47 AM
Stories like this break my heart.
These nigras run about like feral cats. They have absolutely no concept of right and wrong. Thank baby Jesus for Ofc. Richards keen senses and quick actions. A non-ethnic child could of been hurt in the terrifying explosions.
I want to call for an investigation into how the 'Latoyoa Jackson' person got a nice home in Freehold and what kind of a name it it anyway? We need to find out who holds the mortgage on the property and have foreclosure proceedings done.
Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Honorary True Christian™
Forum Member
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Posts: 13,993
Join Date: May 2008
Location: North Salem, Indiana
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Re: Sheriff Richards Thwarts Black Terrorist Bomb Plot on 4th of July -
07-06-2012, 02:04 AM
You know, I was just thinking to myself, "Where can I find an exciting story filled with selfless heroism, thrilling action, and crime-thwarting?"
Then, I looked here, and realized I need search no more.
Officer Don, can you recommend any good authors? I know how you like to sit and read in your cruiser.
Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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