General Church Fellowship A place for True Christians to join in praise, faith and fellowship. |
|
The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running aka the BiblethumpinBlonde
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 15,473
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Apostles Grove, Freehold, IA
|
|
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Mrs. Naomi Portway -
03-03-2013, 05:17 PM
HAPPY BIRTHDAY
I Hope you and your retarded
baby are doing well!
|
|
Moderator Arms Dealer for CHRIST Hands folded for Jesus
|
|
Posts: 5,251
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: On the Straight and Narrow (Earthly location: Freehold, Iowa)
|
|
Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Mrs. Naomi Portway -
03-03-2013, 06:09 PM
What are you now, fourteen? Fifteen?
Oh, they grow up so fast!
Now that you're a married woman with a baby of your own, you'll soon realize how fast your own child will grow up.
|
|
With faith as immovable as the Earth
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 4,779
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Body in England but HEART IN FREEHOLD!
|
|
Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Mrs. Naomi Portway -
03-03-2013, 06:28 PM
Happy Birthday Naomi,
Are you cooking Aaron something special?
YIC
Jack
Genesis 22:2 And he said, Take now thy son, thine only son Isaac, whom thou lovest, and get thee into the land of Moriah; and offer him there for a burnt offering upon one of the mountains which I will tell thee of.
I know God wouldn't let me believe in Him if He didn't exist.
|
|
One of the Lord's Airborne Rangers Salvation from Above God's Favorite Pilot™
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 6,282
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Flying the Friendly Skies for Jesus!
|
|
Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Mrs. Naomi Portway -
03-03-2013, 07:16 PM
Oh crap, that's right, that's today.
I suppose she'll be expecting some sort of gift. Does anybody have any ideas? What do women like these days. Groceries? Fancy lightbulbs? A new shovel? I'm at a loss.
Happy birthday Naomi, I'll see you when I get back into town a week from Wednesday.
Winging our Way Across the World for The Lord!
God Bless John Boehner and God Bless the Grand Old Party!
Barack Hussein Obama is not My President!!!
|
|
True Christian™ Just a Regular Nice Guy
|
|
Posts: 29,835
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Between Lynchburg and Walton's Mountain
|
|
Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Mrs. Naomi Portway -
03-03-2013, 07:32 PM
Congrats Aaron. Will you be at Landover Mens Club tonight? Dinner and drinks are on me in celebration.
If you feel compelled to spend money one her (I know how yoiu newly weds are), may I suggest a nice mop?
Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
|
|
With faith as immovable as the Earth
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 4,779
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Body in England but HEART IN FREEHOLD!
|
|
Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Mrs. Naomi Portway -
03-03-2013, 07:52 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Capt. Aaron Portway
Oh crap, that's right, that's today.
I suppose she'll be expecting some sort of gift. Does anybody have any ideas? What do women like these days. Groceries? Fancy lightbulbs? A new shovel? I'm at a loss.
|
This is what I bought my wife for her birthday and he is very happy with it.
It saved her having to get down on her knees to clean the house with a dustpan and brush.
She did hint at a vacuum cleaner but I can't bare the noise.
Ecclesiastes 3:8 A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.
YIC
Jack
Genesis 22:2 And he said, Take now thy son, thine only son Isaac, whom thou lovest, and get thee into the land of Moriah; and offer him there for a burnt offering upon one of the mountains which I will tell thee of.
I know God wouldn't let me believe in Him if He didn't exist.
|
|
True Christian™
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 1,716
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: In the midst of His Will®
|
|
Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Mrs. Naomi Portway -
03-03-2013, 08:29 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Capt. Aaron Portway
Oh crap, that's right, that's today.
I suppose she'll be expecting some sort of gift. Does anybody have any ideas? What do women like these days. Groceries? Fancy lightbulbs? A new shovel? I'm at a loss.
Happy birthday Naomi, I'll see you when I get back into town a week from Wednesday.
|
My wife literally wept with joy when I got her one of those new electric vacuum machines for our wedding anniversary, and it gives her some free time at the end of the day to get rested up for her "wifely duties" during the evening!
|
|
Gushing for Jesus
|
|
Posts: 23,742
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
|
|
Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Mrs. Naomi Portway -
03-03-2013, 08:39 PM
A Blessed Birthday to you, Mrs. Portway!
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
|
Fourm Member
Forum Member
|
|
Posts: 9,264
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: On my way to Paradise
|
|
Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Mrs. Naomi Portway -
03-03-2013, 09:03 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Capt. Aaron Portway
Oh crap, that's right, that's today.
I suppose she'll be expecting some sort of gift. Does anybody have any ideas? What do women like these days. Groceries? Fancy lightbulbs? A new shovel? I'm at a loss.
Happy birthday Naomi, I'll see you when I get back into town a week from Wednesday.
|
Is there some sort of cookware she is collecting? I'm partial to Cast Iron, but I haven't been in her kitchen in so long, I don't remember her preferences.
I'm a little confused about the Pyrex. On the one hand, the only place to get the good stuff is in the thrift stores, but now, After this thread I am not so sure. On the other hand, I am convinced that the new stuff is a sign of end times.
I'll leave the decision in your manly capable hands.
|
|
Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah You kids get off his lawn!
|
|
Posts: 22,438
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Close to God
|
|
Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Mrs. Naomi Portway -
03-05-2013, 08:53 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Capt. Aaron Portway
I suppose she'll be expecting some sort of gift. Does anybody have any ideas? What do women like these days. Groceries? Fancy lightbulbs? A new shovel? I'm at a loss.
|
Since when is what women want of any relevance? All that matters is what God wants! ( Ephesians 5:22-24)
Never buy a woman gifts, it only makes them greedy and whining about more gifts. Instead just give her a firm beating to make sure she knows her place.( Genesis 3:16)
Freedom means voting for Donald Trump!
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
|
|
Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 9,984
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: San Francisco, California
|
|
Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Mrs. Naomi Portway -
03-11-2013, 11:25 AM
Naomi, I'm so sorry I missed your birthday! Don't worry though, I've bought you a state-of-the-art Web cam, which should be arriving in your mail box soon. You'll probably want Captain Portway to set it up for you.
WARNING:
In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.
|
Thread Tools |
|
Display Modes |
Hybrid Mode
|
Posting Rules
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
|
|
|
Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9 Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved
|