[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Today in Christ

July 11, 1955: Congress puts "In God We Trust" on all U.S. currency.

God Blesses America, and so it is only fitting that we boast about that fact.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Today in Christ

July 14: Godly American warships under the command of Commodore Perry arrive in the port of Japan with a letter from President Millard Fillmore: Open your country to American trade, or EAT HOT AMERICAN LEAD YOU DAMNED PUFFED UP CHINK!

In 1852, Perry embarked from Norfolk, Virginia for Japan, in command of a squadron in search of a Japanese trade treaty. Aboard a black-hulled steam frigate, he ported Mississippi, Plymouth, Saratoga, and Susquehanna at Uraga Harbor near Edo (modern Tokyo bay) on July 8, 1853. His actions at this crucial juncture were informed by a careful study of Japan's previous contacts with Western ships and what could be known about the Japanese hierarchical culture. He was met by representatives of the Tokugawa Shogunate who told him to proceed to Nagasaki, where there was limited trade with the Netherlands and which was the only Japanese port open to foreigners at that time. Perry refused to leave and demanded permission to present a letter from President Millard Fillmore, threatening force if he was denied. The Japanese military forces could not resist Perry's modern weaponry; the "Black Ships" would then become, in Japan, a threatening symbol of Western technology.

The Japanese government were forced to let Perry come ashore to avoid a murderous naval bombardment. Perry landed at Kurihama (in modern-day Yokosuka) on July 14, 1853 presented the letter to delegates present, and left for the Chinese coast, promising to return for a reply.

And it worked!

God bless America!!!

[Brother Lazarus]

Re: Today in Christ

But in God's Holy NAME we nuked them on 8/6/45 and 8/9/45. Just as a reminder, of course.

Yours in Christ

Brother Lazarus

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Today in Christ

July 20, 1910: The Christian Endeavor Society of Missouri, an early True Christian™ association, begins a campaign to ban all motion pictures that depicted kissing between nonrelatives.



Life was better back in the good old days.

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Today in Christ

July 30, 1419: Today is the 589th anniversary of The First Defenestration of Prague, which marks the rise of Protestantism in central Europe and the realization that the so-called church of Rome was in league with Satan.

The First Defenestration of Prague involved the killing of seven members of the city council by a crowd of radical Czech Hussites on July 30, 1419.

Jan Želivský, a Hussite priest at the church of the Virgin Mary of the Snows, led his congregation on a procession through the streets of Prague to the Town Hall on Charles Square.

The town council members had refused to exchange their Hussite prisoners. While they were marching a stone was thrown at Želivský from the window of the town hall. The mob became enraged at this event and led by Jan Žižka stormed the town hall. Once inside the hall the group threw the judge, the burgomaster, and several members of the town council out of the window and into the street, where they were killed by the fall.

King Wenzel (Václav IV in Czech, Wenceslaus in English), [a protector of the Protestant movement E.B.] upon hearing this news, was so stunned that he died a little time after, supposedly due to the shock, [but more likely of natural causes as he was on a hunting trip E.B.]

The procession was a result of the growing discontent at the inequality between the peasants and the Church, the Church's prelates, and the nobility. This discontentment combined with rising feelings of nationalism and increased the influence of "radical" preachers such as Jan Želivský, who saw the current state of the Catholic Church as a corruption of the Christian faith.

These preachers urged their congregations to action, including taking up arms, to combat these perceived transgressions.

The First Defenestration was thus the turning point between talk and action leading to the prolonged Hussite Wars. The wars broke out shortly afterward and lasted until 1436.

To mark the occasion, Landover usually has a parade of Hummers which drive to the nearest Town Hall with catlix in occupation, however, so successful has this been in the past that the distances involved no longer justify the time spent away from praising God at Landover.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Today in Christ

August 5, 1570: Spanish Jesuits, intent on converting the Native Americans, arrive in Chesapeake Bay, Virginia. Six months later, Native Americans massacred the group, and the Jesuits ended their work in the region.

Study this lesson well Brethren! Jesus used those drunken savages to keep America free of the demon Jesuits! Glory!! Thank you Jesus!! We could have ended up like the cursed Portuguese!

[Brother Guy Bayard]

On this day in History

Great Jew culls of History
On this day, Thursday the 28th of August, in the year 1349,at the instigation of the Catholic Church, in what was a sort of early German field test, 6000 Jews are killed in Mainz, Germany, accused of being the cause of the black plague.
The citizens of Efurt, Germany, also in 1349, tried their best, but mustered only a paltry 3000 .
1355 1,200 Jews of Toledo Spain killed by Count Henry of Trastamara
1391 Castilian sailors fire attack Jewish ghetto of Barcelona, 100's killed
700 years later, in unsurpassed enthusiasm, Hitler famously eclipsed this hitherto outstanding achievement , snuffing out an extra 5,994,000 of the Christ-killing yids, only this time in what many deem to be an unfair advantage, he used the gas 'Mainz'.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Today in Christ

September 6, 1651: Obadiah Holmes, who had been arrested for preaching Baptist doctrine, is given 30 lashes with a three-corded whip in Boston Commons. During the beating, he was so filled with divine joy that he told the magistrates, "You have struck me with roses." His punishment occasioned the conversion of Henry Dunster, president of Harvard, to the Baptists, and led to the founding of Boston's first Baptist church.

He was my great-great-great-great-great uncle!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Today in Christ

September 19, 1955: True Christian™ Missionary Aviation pilot Nate Saint spots the Auca villages in the Amazon jungle. The Auca massacred and ate him and his True Christian(tm) companions on January 6, 1956.

...Which is why we don't send missionaries out in the field unarmed anymore.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Today in Christ

September 22, 1692: Puritan magistrates hang the last 8 of 20 condemned witches are hanged in Salem, Massachusetts.

Praise Jesus, this is a Christian Tradition that still lives on today!

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Re: Today in Christ

September 22, 1823: According to the official mythology of the LSD "church," Joseph Smith, under the guidance of the Angel Moroni, first located the golden plates on which the Book of Moron was written. He never let anyone else see the golden plates, except for a few true believers whose testimonies contradicted one another, and they were eventually returned to the angel, never to be seen again. Of course, as True Christians™, we have no use for an insipid cult based on a book revealed under suspicious circumstances by a mystical being who would not deign to communicate with anyone else, nor with things for which there is no evidence except for a few conflicting testimonies by people with a vested interest in lying.

[Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.]

Re: Today in Christ

September 22, 1823: According to the official mythology of the LSD "church," Joseph Smith, under the guidance of the Angel Moroni, first located the golden plates on which the Book of Moron was written. He never let anyone else see the golden plates, except for a few true believers whose testimonies contradicted one another, and they were eventually returned to the angel, never to be seen again. Of course, as True Christians™, we have no use for an insipid cult based on a book revealed under suspicious circumstances by a mystical being who would not deign to communicate with anyone else, nor with things for which there is no evidence except for a few conflicting testimonies by people with a vested interest in lying.

There are people that actually believe this tripe ?! Wow, some people are just out of their gourds!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Today in Christ

November 11, 1215: The Fourth Lateran Council was convened by Pope Innocent III. It was the council which first defined "transubstantiation," the Catholic belief that the bread and wine of the Eucharist change invisibly into the body and blood of Christ.

Yes, it was on this day that the papists came up with one their craziest and most heretical concepts--The belief that the cheap dago wine and stale crackers they use in their satanic ceremonies ACTUALLY TRANSFORMS into the flesh and blood of Jesus. Can you imagine how furious Jesus must be about this ridiculous idea?!

All papists are hellbound cannibals, without exception.

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Re: Today in Christ

Yes, it was on this day that the papists came up with one their craziest and most heretical concepts--The belief that the cheap dago wine and stale crackers they use in their satanic ceremonies ACTUALLY TRANSFORMS into the flesh and blood of Jesus. Can you imagine how furious Jesus must be about this ridiculous idea?!

All papists are hellbound cannibals, without exception.

Gotta love how the fish heads keep coming up with brand-new eternal dogmas necessary for salvation. How could the Romanist pew-warmers be so gullible?

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Today in Christ

Today, is the anniversary of The St Brice’s Day Massacre. In 1002, the Christian King Æþelræd Unræd (Ethelred the Unready), fed up with Danes raiding England’s south coast and having to pay them Danegeld (money to go away) ordered the massacre of every Dane, man woman and child, in England. In Oxford, the Danes took refuge in a church. This was burned by the mob as means of sending them to heaven quickly.

The true awfulness of the situation that King Ethelred had to face and solve can be seen from the Chronicles of John of Wallingford, Abbot of St Albans Abbey in Hertfordshire, England who described the Danes thus,

“the Danes, thanks to their habit of combing their hair every day, of bathing every Saturday and regularly changing their clothes, were able to undermine the virtue of married women and even seduce the daughters of nobles to be their mistresses."

It does not take a genius to realize that the English, who even today have no regard for personal hygiene, saw this habit as “cheating.”

Perhaps Pastor Prune could issue an apology on behalf of all Danes for causing themselves to be slaughtered?