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Default Please pray for me! - 05-24-2015, 10:13 PM

Good day Landover True Christians™. I have recently returned to your company and I am truly on fire for Christ. Every time I think of his salvation I start to get hot as the thoughts of the holy spirit entering me and filling up my insides take over my mind. I truly want to become a True Christian™ and join your congregation. I have completed a number of years of missionary work giving spiritual food and living water to the hungry and thirsty. I do my daily devotions and I feel in my heart that I'm ready to be embraced by God's love and many of you on this forum. Please welcome me into your congregation. I'm willing to do anything it takes, ANYTHING, to truly enter God's grace. Please pray that I may follow the right path and enter into True Christendom™


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Deuteronomy 31:6
Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.
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Default Re: Please pray for me! - 05-24-2015, 11:25 PM

Steady on there, tiger. It takes more than that to be a True Christian™. Only Jesus and the Holy Ghost get to decide who to elevate to the pedestal from where God selects His True Ones.
You are doing well in your quest. Continue as you are. But up your tithing rate. Jesus like a big tither. It helps.


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Default Re: Please pray for me! - 05-25-2015, 01:22 AM

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Originally Posted by Jim Farmer View Post
Steady on there, tiger. It takes more than that to be a True Christian™. Only Jesus and the Holy Ghost get to decide who to elevate to the pedestal from where God selects His True Ones.
You are doing well in your quest. Continue as you are. But up your tithing rate. Jesus like a big tither. It helps.
Does the church maintain an online tithing platform?


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Deuteronomy 31:6
Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.
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Default Re: Please pray for me! - 05-25-2015, 01:31 AM

Seems a bit arrogant to be demanding that True Christians™ Pray for you when we hardly know you.

Establishing yourself as a robust Tither might be a good first step. Jesus needs money, pal.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: Please pray for me! - 05-25-2015, 01:51 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
Seems a bit arrogant to be demanding that True Christians™ Pray for you when we hardly know you.

Establishing yourself as a robust Tither might be a good first step. Jesus needs money, pal.
I wasn't demanding. I would never think of making demands of God's anointed. I was merely asking.


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Deuteronomy 31:6
Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.
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Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: Please pray for me! - 05-25-2015, 12:17 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Eternal Flame View Post
Does the church maintain an online tithing platform?
The Pastor has a project that needs some tithing. Perhaps you can help him out? Just a tip: the transfer of gold bars is harder to monitor by the IRS.


Jeremiah 6:21 Therefore thus saith the LORD, Behold, I will lay stumblingblocks before this people, and the fathers and the sons together shall fall upon them; the neighbour and his friend shall perish.

Best wishes for the people in Ukraine.
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ch1st1andad is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.ch1st1andad is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.ch1st1andad is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.ch1st1andad is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.ch1st1andad is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.ch1st1andad is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.ch1st1andad is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.ch1st1andad is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.ch1st1andad is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.ch1st1andad is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.ch1st1andad is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: Please pray for me! - 08-23-2015, 01:12 AM

praying doesn't do shit and true chrischan is a lie :^)

coming from the best forum ever: [LINK TO SELFIES STANDING IN PILES OF ANIMAL DUNG REMOVED BY MODERATOR]

Last edited by Mary Etheldreda; 08-23-2015 at 01:15 AM. Reason: Not interested
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Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: Please pray for me! - 08-23-2015, 01:26 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by ch1st1andad View Post
praying doesn't do shit and true chrischan is a lie :^)...
I really don't see how anyone could continue being a Christian in the face of such eloquence and the literal mountains of incontrovertible proof you've been so kind as to show us.


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Esther B. Esther B. is offline
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Default Re: Please pray for me! - 08-23-2015, 01:18 PM

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Originally Posted by ch1st1andad View Post
praying doesn't do shit and true chrischan is a lie :^)
If anyone is lying, it's you. God tells His followers to pray for what they want. Psalms 34:17, Mark 11:24

As for your comment about True Christians™ (take note of the spelling), it's also a lie. True Christians™ follow the Bible to the letter, just like God wants them to.

With that being said, why don't you head over to the Introduction Forum to introduce yourself?


And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might.
Deuteronomy 6.5
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Default Re: Please pray for me! - 08-24-2015, 05:21 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by ch1st1andad View Post
praying doesn't do shit and true chrischan is a lie :^)

coming from the best forum ever: [LINK TO SELFIES STANDING IN PILES OF ANIMAL DUNG REMOVED BY MODERATOR]
Please mind your tongue! Why did you sign up for these forums, only to mock us? Have you ever heard of Proverbs 17:28 "Even a fool, when he holdeth his peace, is counted wise: and he that shutteth his lips is esteemed a man of understanding."?


"Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands." Proverbs 14:1
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