X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Erectile Dysfunction: Viagra is not Christian

    I found this Godly advice regarding erectile dysfunction from long-time Republican Chip Womack. His message is: You don't need "pills", you need to conquer your own insecurities and let God into your heart.



    I prayed over the image of Taylor Collins struggling to maintain an erection, and the Lord's spoke to me. He said "Chip is RIGHT!"

    If your "property" is not rising, it's because YOU are not right with JESUS. Though Chip does not quote scripture (lest he be sued by those radicals at the ACLU), his advice is entirely consistent with God's word on erectile dysfunction straight from the Bible.

    God talks of erectile dysfunction in Psalms 139. Here is verse 2: Thou knowest my downsitting and mine uprising, thou understandest my thought afar off. This refers to the inability to get an erection because of fear and distraction.

    Then verse 14: I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well. This refers to the cure, through prayer, finally able to achieve an erection.

    And finally, verse 16, the ability to ejaculate: Thine eyes did see my substance, yet being unperfect; and in thy book all my members were written, which in continuance were fashioned, when as yet there was none of them. Here the message is "God had given you a "member" that may not be perfect, but it will work if you are right with God and your "substance" will be visible (to God and your Godly wife)."

    Who needs Viagra? It is the devil's blue pill. Philippians 4:13: I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me. Psalm 138:8: The LORD will perfect that which concerneth me: thy mercy, O LORD, endureth for ever: forsake not the works of thine own hands.
    "Come Unto Me. Put forth thine hand now, and touch all that he hath." (Matthew 19:14, Job 1:11).

  • #2
    Re: Erectile Dysfunction: Viagra is not Christian

    I am not sure how this works but isn't all True Christian women attractive enough so this wouldn't be a problem?

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Erectile Dysfunction: Viagra is not Christian

      Originally posted by Justin Z View Post
      I am not sure how this works but isn't all True Christian women attractive enough so this wouldn't be a problem?
      Not always Brother. Although she does the best she can with what the Lord gave her, Mrs. Porter's appearance made procreation difficult. The thought of doing the deed was always about as exciting as stepping in a wad of chewing gum; something you would rather avoid.

      However, with much prayer God helped me get the job done with our four sons.

      "But Jesus beheld them, and said unto them, With men this is impossible; but with God all things are possible." Matthew 19:26 - KJV1611
      Praise Jesus we are done with the awkward events in the bedroom!
      Matthew 19:14 "But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven."

      sigpic

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Erectile Dysfunction: Viagra is not Christian

        Did he tell you to use blind folds or did he tell you to use the "just get it over with" approach? Hopefully I won't obtain this problem but if I do I want to be ready!

        Praise the lord for answering prayers

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Erectile Dysfunction: Viagra is not Christian

          Originally posted by ExGay Alex View Post
          I found this Godly advice regarding erectile dysfunction from long-time Republican Chip Womack. His message is: You don't need "pills", you need to conquer your own insecurities and let God into your heart.
          This is very true! Pills are costly and ineffective, and the money goes straight into the Devil's pocket as far as I'm concerned. Penis pumps are dangerous as well and should not be messed with. Please don't let my suffering go to waste, learn from my mistakes!

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Erectile Dysfunction: Viagra is not Christian

            If God the Almighty have struck you with "erectile dysfunction", who are you to cheat with chemicals?
            Do you really want God to punish you even harder?
            "And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free."
            John 8:32

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Erectile Dysfunction: Viagra is not Christian

              If you're having trouble with ED chances are it's the woman's fault. There is mounting evidence in these cases that the woman might be a DEMONcrat or a closeted LIEberal.

              The following chart can be instructive on how to tell the difference.

              Click image for larger version

Name:	republican-women.jpg
Views:	1
Size:	45.0 KB
ID:	1911884
              Hell's foundations quiver at the shout of praise;
              brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
              ...and get off my lawn
              sigpic

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Erectile Dysfunction: Viagra is not Christian

                If you have an erectile dysfunction, you shouldn't be having sex.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Erectile Dysfunction: Viagra is not Christian

                  Originally posted by Minecraft View Post
                  If you have an erectile dysfunction, you shouldn't be having sex.
                  Are you really that stupid? If you are having erectile dysfunction you can't have sex. That is why it is called an erectile dysfunction!

                  Romans 1:21 "Because that, when they knew God, they glorified him not as God, neither were thankful; but became vain in their imaginations, and their foolish heart was darkened."
                  5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
                  To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
                  James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Erectile Dysfunction: Viagra is not Christian

                    haha the tussle between cant and shudnt!! lol
                    but it is not a laughing matter this ED. pills help

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Erectile Dysfunction: Viagra is not Christian

                      Originally posted by midge2012 View Post
                      haha the tussle between cant and shudnt!! lol
                      but it is not a laughing matter this ED. pills help
                      Friend, I would disagree with you. Faith helps. Not penis pills.

                      Mark 11:23 For verily I say unto you, That whosoever shall say unto this mountain, Be thou removed, and be thou cast into the sea; and shall not doubt in his heart, but shall believe that those things which he saith shall come to pass; he shall have whatsoever he saith.

                      Perhaps you should organize a prayer circle for your damaged privy member if you are having difficulty.

                      James 5:14 Is any sick among you? let him call for the elders of the church; and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord:
                      Christians are superior because we possess an understanding that unbelievers lack. It is through the Power of Jesus only the converted mind is able to understand what is going on in the world; what the Communists are really up to; what Satan's intentions are. Most unbelievers do not even believe in Satan and cannot understand his tactics.


                      sigpic

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Erectile Dysfunction: Viagra is not Christian

                        Originally posted by Cranky Old Man View Post
                        Are you really that stupid? If you are having erectile dysfunction you can't have sex. That is why it is called an erectile dysfunction!

                        Romans 1:21 "Because that, when they knew God, they glorified him not as God, neither were thankful; but became vain in their imaginations, and their foolish heart was darkened."
                        A rope can be pushed up a hill, though it is not much fun for the rope or the hill, or whomever is pushing. Still sex is for procreation only and it can be dangerouse if enjoyed too much.
                        Leviticus 13:40 And the man whose hair is fallen off his head, he is bald; yet is he clean.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Erectile Dysfunction: Viagra is not Christian

                          Of course Viagra ain't Christian.
                          It was manufactured on order by Bill Clinton so he could fornicate with the joo Lewinsky. It works by tricking male hormones, which make it just as evil as other hormonal drugs, like insulin and anabolic steroids.

                          Today, Chink spammers sell it across the globe, as Levi Jones pointed out.

                          sigpicCorporal Punishment Advisor, U.S. Department of Family Values
                          Cyber-bullying Instructor, Christian Commission on Human Rights
                          Apple CEO is gay - Important DFV security considerations
                          Higgs field theory disproved - Universe is a cotton field
                          Viagra forces man to have his penis amputated

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: Erectile Dysfunction: Viagra is not Christian

                            Originally posted by midge2012 View Post
                            haha the tussle between cant and shudnt!! lol
                            but it is not a laughing matter this ED. pills help
                            I made this post about this very topic just the other day when you brought up the exact same perverted subject. Your obsession with artficially induced tumescence indicates that you are more than likely a raging queer.

                            Originally posted by midge2012
                            where can erectile dysfunction be cured?
                            So called erectile dysfunction does not exist. If God smites your penis such that it cannot become engorged with blood, then He had a very good reason for doing so. Taking secular drugs like Viagra©, Cialis©, or Levitra© is an insult to the Lord. One should never attempt to achieve a chemically enhanced boner unless one wishes to spend eternity in Hell being raped by demons with gigantic flaming erections.
                            Last edited by Professor Bessemer; 08-26-2012, 12:44 AM.
                            Professor of Creation Science and Flood Geology at Landover Baptist University


                            sigpic

                            Sodomites! Stop being gay TODAY!

                            Wherefore lay apart all filthiness and superfluity of naughtiness, and receive with meekness the engrafted word, which is able to save your souls. James 1:21

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: Erectile Dysfunction: Viagra is not Christian

                              Originally posted by Levi Jones View Post
                              Perhaps you should organize a prayer circle for your damaged privy member if you are having difficulty.

                              James 5:14 Is any sick among you? let him call for the elders of the church; and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord:
                              Yes, and to be absolutely certain, I would suggest coupling the anointing with oil with a laying-on of hands.

                              Mark 16:18
                              They shall take up serpents; and if they drink any deadly thing, it shall not hurt them; they shall lay hands on the sick, and they shall recover.
                              II Thessalonians 1:7-9
                              And to you who are troubled rest with us, when the Lord Jesus shall be revealed from heaven with his mighty angels,
                              In flaming fire taking vengeance on them that know not God, and that obey not the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ:
                              Who shall be punished with everlasting destruction from the presence of the Lord, and from the glory of his power



                              The man who is being progressively sanctified will inescapably sanctify his home, school, politics, economics, science, and all things else by understanding and interpreting all things in terms of the Word of God and by bringing all things under the Dominion of Christ the King. -R.J. Rushdoony

                              Comment

                              Working...
                              X