Straight 4 Jesus! (Back Door Christians) At LBC, we will cure your perversion of choice (even if we have to stone you). |
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Didn't write the Bible, just obeys it
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Posts: 6,639
Join Date: Jun 2007
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Fred Phelps is dead. Murdered? Assassinated? -
03-16-2014, 12:47 PM
Fred Phelps of Westborough Baptist church has died.
1935-2014
I regret that I had no time to speak to him before his death. We had our differences, silly things really. He was always a maverick, it seems he paid little attention to GOP strategy memos (like his eyes would just glaze over). He had a tendency towards undisciplined messaging, was not always a team player, and generally failed to stay on message.
As the ever-popular mainstream Republican radio host Dave Daubenmire explains, our differences are merely tactical, and therefore temporary:
All of the controversy about him is because he's was ahead of his time.
But what I want to know is, who did it? Al Queda? The Lesbian Mafia? Is this another name on the Obama Bodycount?
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Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance Christ's Rottweiler
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Posts: 22,727
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Toiling selflessly towards Salvation
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Re: Fred Phelps is dead. Murdered? Assassinated? -
03-16-2014, 01:11 PM
Sad news indeed. As main-stream Churches go, this leaves only Landover Baptist to carry forth the Works of The Lord.
Fred was a shining star in a firmament of dross, liberal attitudes and blasphemy. His tireless work to ensure that all US citizens went to heaven stands as an enduring legacy to the Christian Movement and an example to us all. We must not seek personal approval, nor curry the popularism that is the path to the Gates of Hell, but we must hold on to the timeless values handed to us By God before, at and after the incident at Mount Horeb.
I only hope that Fred's work will continue through his off-spring: he was a prophet before his time and, like many prophets, was insufficiently appreciated in his own land. His tolerance and broad minded views with those who did not see the world as clearly as he is a lesson to us all.
His work picketing funerals of the military although masterly did much to harden the hearts of the godless but, despite set-backs, in a Job-like fashion he persisted in his faith - indeed it strengthened as gay-marriage swept the land like the plague that it is.
Although seen by many True Christians as liberal and over-forgiving, Fred's work are written in the Book of Life. He has been called home by His Maker and will sit at the perfectly formed Right Hand of God.
Your absence is and will be missed.
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Descended from Rapes
True Christian™
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Posts: 1,548
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Freehold Bible Campground and RV Park.
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Re: Fred Phelps is dead. Murdered? Assassinated? -
03-16-2014, 03:28 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeb Stuart Thurmond
Fred Phelps of Westborough Baptist church has died.
1935-2014
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He was too beautiful for this world. It's time for his son Shirley to step up now. He needs to cut of that pony tail and be the man his father wanted him to be.
Leviticus 13:40 And the man whose hair is fallen off his head, he is bald; yet is he clean.
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Walking in all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord blameless.
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,223
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Thong-infested Florida©
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Re: Fred Phelps is dead. Murdered? Assassinated? -
03-16-2014, 03:46 PM
I pray that Obama does the right thing and holds a state funeral for Mr. Phelps, and agrees to a national day (week?) of mourning.
Not holding my breath, though.
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True Christian™ Just a Regular Nice Guy
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Posts: 29,835
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Between Lynchburg and Walton's Mountain
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Re: Fred Phelps is dead. Murdered? Assassinated? -
03-16-2014, 05:13 PM
He was always a tad limp wristed for my tastes. I prefer real men who follow every Word of the Holy Bible without wavering. I'll admit though, he did somewhat try to be a Christian. At least he was not one of those fluffy bunny, go to Church only on Christmas ones.
Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah You kids get off his lawn!
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Posts: 22,424
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Close to God
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Re: Fred Phelps is dead. Murdered? Assassinated? -
03-16-2014, 05:25 PM
He was a fine American who understood the importance of fighting the gay terrorists from taking over. It's unfortunate he will burn in Hell for allowing women to talk.
Freedom means voting for Donald Trump!
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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Mayor of Freehold
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Posts: 12,121
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: City Hall, Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Fred Phelps is dead. Murdered? Assassinated? -
03-16-2014, 05:35 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zechariah Smyth
I pray that Obama does the right thing and holds a state funeral for Mr. Phelps, and agrees to a national day (week?) of mourning.
Not holding my breath, though.
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I checked and the National Cathedral is available.
I suppose our so-called President would not show up--loving homers as he does.
Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Fred Phelps is dead. Murdered? Assassinated? -
03-17-2014, 12:21 AM
I remember caddying for old man Phelps when I was a boy, and he played 18 holes with my father (Pastor Lamentations Flint). He was full of God's Fire back then, but got soft in his dotage I think. I know it turned a lot of stomachs when he endorsed Al Gore over GWB.
I'm happy to inform you all that I was with Fred Phelps in his final hours, and finally convinced him to accept Christ Jesus as his personal Savior, and to become a True Christian™.
In fact, I was alone with him at the end, which was one of the more pleasurable experiences I've ever had. Praise Jesus.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 325
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Gods flat Earth
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Re: Fred Phelps is dead. Murdered? Assassinated? -
03-17-2014, 01:20 AM
He has not died yet as far as news reports I have seen. Let us pray he can spend some more time on this flat Earth with us.
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True Christian™ with a quiverful
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Posts: 2,243
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: In the kitchen
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Re: Fred Phelps is dead. Murdered? Assassinated? -
03-17-2014, 01:36 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel
I'm happy to inform you all that I was with Fred Phelps in his final hours, and finally convinced him to accept Christ Jesus as his personal Savior, and to become a True Christian™.
In fact, I was alone with him at the end, which was one of the more pleasurable experiences I've ever had. Praise Jesus.
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Hallelujah! Did he finally open up and accept the Lord fully? Thank you for assisting him to achieve this redemption!
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Ring-kissing Papist dog
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Posts: 3,358
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Vatican City...where we keep the good stuff!
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Re: Fred Phelps is dead. Murdered? Assassinated? -
03-17-2014, 10:51 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel
...I'm happy to inform you all that I was with Fred Phelps in his final hours... In fact, I was alone with him at the end, which was one of the more pleasurable experiences I've ever had. Praise Jesus.
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Last I checked Jesus still had Fred circling the drain in a bit of a holding pattern... probably trying convince Satan to take him without much luck.
Not sure what ending you found so pleasurable with the old git butt I am quite sure I don't want to know.
Meanwhile, we at the Vatican did get a call from one of his lawyers asking if Pope Francis could quietly drop by and give him the last rites however there was a scheduling problem what with Hell not yet frozen over.
Bless you, my truth-challenged grifter,
Father Mo
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A Cardinal in the making.
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 533
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Love Child of Pastor Osborne
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Re: Fred Phelps is dead. Murdered? Assassinated? -
03-17-2014, 01:31 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeb Stuart Thurmond
Fred Phelps of Westborough Baptist church has died.
But what I want to know is, who did it? Al Queda? The Lesbian Mafia? Is this another name on the Obama Bodycount?
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I have been studying HGTV lately. I would not rule out any of those addicted to rehab, brother on brother queersexuals.
"Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven." (Matthew 5:16)
"But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery." (Matthew 5:32)
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 609
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Forrest Park, Memphis
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Re: Fred Phelps is dead. Murdered? Assassinated? -
03-17-2014, 11:28 AM
This is a tragic event, and a moment of sorrow for the White Straight Christian Nation. I can understand that some conservatives had a problem with his picketing on military funerals, but after all, those soldiers didn't fought for the confederate flag.
The U.S. Department of Family Values is leading an investigation, and our prime suspect is Macalester College’s Department of Multicultural Life, Minnesota.
Their agenda is to sterilize the language, by eliminating every trace of anything that can be perceived as homophobia and "ableism".
Read about their "Brave New World" agenda here.
Last edited by lukasekman; 03-17-2014 at 11:30 AM.
Reason: typos
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Helping boys become upright model citizens
True Christian™
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Posts: 1,293
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Columbus, Ohio
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Re: Fred Phelps is dead. Murdered? Assassinated? -
03-17-2014, 01:26 PM
I only met him once, several years back, at a sauna in San Francisco. He was there because he had a bad back and I was there as part of my ministry. We ran into each other in the hammam and then had the nicest chat in one of the private booths. He told me in detail about the evils of gaysexuality and the perverted things that these guys do to each other.
The Devil had already tempted me before, so I knew some of it already, but he really opened my eyes to all of the various and imaginative sickening acts that sodomites do to each other. His knowledge of the topic was exhaustive, praise Jesus.
"Come Unto Me. Put forth thine hand now, and touch all that he hath." (Matthew 19:14, Job 1:11).
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Mayor of Freehold
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Posts: 12,121
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: City Hall, Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Fred Phelps is dead. Murdered? Assassinated? -
03-18-2014, 02:51 PM
I always wondered who stole Fred's church from him. Started it, ran it and owned it lock, stock and barrel.
Now we learn his oun children stole it out from under him in the dead of night. There are wicked people in Westboro Baptist.
http://cjonline.com/news/2014-03-17/...-within-church
Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 50
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: log cabin down by the crik
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Re: Fred Phelps is dead. Murdered? Assassinated? -
03-20-2014, 10:20 PM
Say! That feller is the spittin image of ol great-Grampa Festus, teh patriark of both sides of the family:
Proverbs 23:8 The morsel which thou hast eaten shalt thou vomit up, and lose thy sweet words.
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Mayor of Freehold
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Posts: 12,121
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: City Hall, Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Fred Phelps is dead. Murdered? Assassinated? -
03-21-2014, 12:59 AM
Honestly, I can't help but think he was murdered by the homers. Why wouldn't they carry out Satan's wishes?
Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 533
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Love Child of Pastor Osborne
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Re: Fred Phelps is dead. Murdered? Assassinated? -
03-21-2014, 01:06 AM
It may be too early and a long shot, but how quickly can the Raise the Dead Team be mobilized?
I'm just not ready to let him go!!!!
"Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven." (Matthew 5:16)
"But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery." (Matthew 5:32)
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Professor of Creation Science at Landover University Double PhD. Theomathematics, Racial Science Returned from 10 year South Africa Expedition
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,991
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Returned from studying the negro in Africa.
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Re: Fred Phelps is dead. Murdered? Assassinated? -
03-21-2014, 09:59 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Johny Joe Hold
Honestly, I can't help but think he was murdered by the homers. Why wouldn't they carry out Satan's wishes?
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I agree whole heartedly Brother Hold. I would stake my immortal soul, my current completely straight and not gay lifestyle choice, and all of my various Scientheistic degrees and citations the Brother Phelps was yet another victim of Big Sodomy. Their filthy, slippery tendrils reach and probe into every corner, crevice, and crack of our once great nation.
I am certain it will soon come to light that he was anally poisoned, as your homo assassins have a flair for the operatic. A cyanide suppository is likely what sent Brother Phelps to the right hand of Our Lord Jesus in such an untimely fashion, mark my words.
Professor of Creation Science at Landover Baptist University
Sodomites! Stop being gay TODAY!
Wherefore lay apart all filthiness and superfluity of naughtiness, and receive with meekness the engrafted word, which is able to save your souls. James 1:21
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Professor of Creation Science at Landover University Double PhD. Theomathematics, Racial Science Returned from 10 year South Africa Expedition
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,991
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Returned from studying the negro in Africa.
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Re: Fred Phelps is dead. Murdered? Assassinated? -
03-26-2014, 05:13 AM
I would just like to point out that the liberal media has yet again utterly failed us. I have scoured the Internets for any indication that my rather obvious theory that anal poisoning was the cause of death of our dear Brother Frederic. I have found nothing. We are on our own yet again Brothers and sisters. Such is the lot of True Christians™.
Professor of Creation Science at Landover Baptist University
Sodomites! Stop being gay TODAY!
Wherefore lay apart all filthiness and superfluity of naughtiness, and receive with meekness the engrafted word, which is able to save your souls. James 1:21
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