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Default Prayers to Bush - Post Them Here - 09-16-2006, 10:23 PM

Dear president/savior Bush:

Please convince at least some of those illegal Messicans to go back home.

Now add your prayers!


Jesus - gentle, dependable overnight relief.
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Default 09-16-2006, 10:39 PM

Dear Pres Bush,I hope your president for a long time. I'm enjoying this-HelmsFan55
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Default 09-16-2006, 11:29 PM

Dear Most AWESOMEST KICKASS PRESIDENT EVER,

You are a MAN'S man. I suggest you run that "Constitution" and "Bill of Rights" crap through the nearest paper shredder you can find. Or, even better, I suggest that you throw them on the nearest bonfire for witches and homers. I fear that Congress and the Senate may be sissifying you -- I say you DISBAND them, send them to RUSSIA, where they belong.

In George's Name,

Amen

ps - another tax break would be useful -- its such a pain to have to transfer funds from offshore accounts every two weeks!
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Default 09-17-2006, 12:02 AM

Dear Goldy President Bush,

Please reinstate the slave laws. Give the decent ones to all True Christians™ to act as good hard-working slaves, then send all the bad ones back to Afreaka.

It makes my heart feel heavy knowing they are on the loose in the USA, stealing pies, raping women and dealing drugs.

Heartfelt, Sister Thumper




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Default 09-17-2006, 01:42 AM

Dear Divinely hand-picked ruler of the entire earth:

Please consolidate your worldwide reign soon. The world needs more of the wisdom that you have shown in Towelheadistan.

Amen.


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Default 09-17-2006, 04:50 AM

Dear Godly President GWB: I humbly pray that you sign an executive order this very day that would replace all current secular laws with the Holy KJV1611 Bible. We need no other guide to show the world how right we are, and how wrong they are. I beseech you in Jesus' Holy Name to create a True Christian Kingdom here on earth, today. Nothing would please Jesus more! Amen!


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default 09-17-2006, 11:54 AM

Dear savior GWB . May our lord Jesus guide you in your presidency filled with imense intelligence that cannot be mesaured by earthly tests.

Bring peace and harmony to the middle east and raise taxes for all the poor immigrants

Amen!

Last edited by Andreas; 09-17-2006 at 12:45 PM. Reason: Realized how stupid I was. Forgive me!
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Default 09-17-2006, 12:35 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by andrewisI View Post
May our lord Jesus guide you in your obvious lack of brain and understanding reality.
Jesus and I are very disappointed in your attitude toward our Godly President.


This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

Questions to ask liberal "Christians"Things that the Bible doesn't sayTolerance


Last edited by Pastor Isaac Peters; 09-17-2006 at 12:38 PM.
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Default 09-17-2006, 04:19 PM

I am extremely sorry for insulting the godly president. But I thought you take his intelligence as a proof of Jesus's guidance and intervention at the election.

Praise Jesus and GWB
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Default 09-17-2006, 04:28 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by andrewisI View Post
I am extremely sorry for insulting the godly president.
Bless you. Jesus has a special love for the lost sheep who are found again (Luke 15:3-7).


This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

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Default 09-17-2006, 04:30 PM

Quote:
Bless you. Jesus has a special love for the lost sheep who are found again (Luke 15:3-7).
Praise, brother!

I don't know what I was thinking ... but I again respect our loving leaders: Jesus and GWB.

Jesus will return
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Default A-Hum-a-Hum-a - 09-17-2006, 08:24 PM

Godly Brother Bush, I have heard terrble news that no longer will the "Hummer" be for sale.

Should you have an extra Humvee you don't use too much over in Iraq, can I have it?

I know it's not likely our Brave Boys will have one just laying around that they don't need, but it would sure get the attention of the roughly 200 un$avED "people" left in this Country when I drive the streets in that Baby - all decorated up for Christmas and with Christian and pro-Life bumper stickers on it everywhere. Praise!

An expectant Sue Vera

(Pastor! Should I have Word-ed that another way?)
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Default 09-18-2006, 12:00 AM

Oh Precious Savior, May every raghead death lighten your heart and ease your burden of caring for us all. Amen.


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Default 09-18-2006, 01:20 AM

Dear President Bush, please make it legal to stone homers and harlots like the good old days!


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Default 09-18-2006, 01:37 AM

Most beloved President,

Please elminate all those handout programs that falsely prop-up non-Whites and make them even worse off than what they are... And use that money as subsidies to the hard-working White American farmers who produce the beef on my table and the tobacco in my pipe.

Tobacco... Oh, how I miss the days of The Honorable Jesse Helms, Senator of North Carolina!!


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Default 09-18-2006, 04:07 AM

Dear Dubya,

Please, please put that monkey lookalike in charge instead of you. An improvement will undoubtedly be seen almost immediately once this is done!



Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!

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Petal is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Petal is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Petal is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Petal is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Petal is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Petal is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Petal is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Petal is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Petal is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Petal is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Petal is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.
Unhappy 09-18-2006, 09:15 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs.Van Blasfeemy View Post
Please, please put that monkey lookalike in charge instead of you. An improvement will undoubtedly be seen almost immediately once this is done!
dear lord Presdint, i no it alot to asks it be like a mirackle worthy of lord Jesus but please set Mrs.Hellsinger free from that demon of evilutions, she infest nearly all of her posts wiv them secklar talks an now she insultin you wiv her monkey-worships
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Rachael Van Helsing Rachael Van Helsing is offline
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Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.
Default 09-18-2006, 09:46 AM

I'm sorry Petal.
I'll apologize right now.

Dear president, I am ever so sorry that you resemble a monkey and could well be representative of the missing link. I am ever, ever so sorry.



Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!
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Pastor Al E Pistle Pastor Al E Pistle is offline
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Default 09-18-2006, 09:59 AM

Dear Mrs Van Uvula. I notice that you keep calling our GODLY President a monkey whild displaying the signature that your grandfather was one as well. Maybe you are the third Bush daughter.


Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


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Rachael Van Helsing Rachael Van Helsing is offline
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Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.
Default 09-18-2006, 10:07 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
Dear Mrs Van Uvula. I notice that you keep calling our GODLY President a monkey whild displaying the signature that your grandfather was one as well. Maybe you are the third Bush daughter.

NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! Don't ever SAY that!!!!



Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!
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