Go Back   The Landover Baptist Church Forum > Church Forums > The introduction forum
Reload this Page greetings
The introduction forum Attention Unsaved Trash: This the ONLY subforum you can start threads in. Here is where you introduce yourself. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
(#1)
Old
Cherry Pie Cherry Pie is offline
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
 
Posts: 9
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: Auckland, New Zealand
Cherry Pie is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Pie greetings - 04-21-2018, 08:21 AM

i'm a 35 year old white male living in auckland, new zealand directed to this forum by some of my mates because i'm apathetic to religion.
Reply With Quote
(#2)
Old
Thomas Taylor's Avatar
Thomas Taylor Thomas Taylor is offline
Forum Member
Forum Member

Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound Ready for the Rapture Friend of Jesus Christian Love Touched by Jesus One Year/1000 posts A for Effort 

 
Posts: 1,484
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Reaping Bountifully
Thomas Taylor is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Thomas Taylor is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Thomas Taylor is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Thomas Taylor is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Thomas Taylor is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Thomas Taylor is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Thomas Taylor is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Thomas Taylor is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Thomas Taylor is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Thomas Taylor is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Thomas Taylor is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.
Default Re: greetings - 04-21-2018, 09:43 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cherry Pie View Post
i'm a 35 year old white male living in auckland, new zealand directed to this forum by some of my mates because i'm apathetic to religion.
G'day Mr. Pie,


What is it like living on an abandoned oil rig in the North Sea?


YIC
TT


Isaiah 66:15

For behold, the Lord wil come with fire, and with his charets like a whirlewinde, to render his anger with furie, and his rebuke with flames of fire.
Reply With Quote
(#3)
Old
Phil Ander's Avatar
Phil Ander Phil Ander is offline
True Christian™
True Christian™

Protected by JESUS Ready for the Rapture Flat Earth Christian Love Friend of Jesus True Christian™ The Lord’s Witness Wound Porn Resistant Persecuted Ex-Masturbator Eats the Most Pork Guns, Guts and GLORY! Trump of GOD Asked questions later Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts 

 
Posts: 264
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Phil Ander is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Phil Ander is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Phil Ander is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Phil Ander is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Phil Ander is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Phil Ander is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Phil Ander is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Phil Ander is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Phil Ander is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Phil Ander is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Phil Ander is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.
Default Re: greetings - 04-21-2018, 10:09 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cherry Pie View Post
i'm a 35 year old white male living in auckland, new zealand directed to this forum by some of my mates because i'm apathetic to religion.

Did you do this for some bet, or some dare? If you are apathetic to religion and come from New Zealand I am sure that there are sites where you would be more welcomed. Perhaps googling "sheepshagging" may lead you to more mind liked individuals from your part of the world.


Phil


58 If thou wilt not observe to do all the words of this law that are written in this book, that thou mayest fear this glorious and fearful name, THE LORD THY GOD; 59 Then the LORD will make thy plagues wonderful, and the plagues of thy seed, even great plagues, and of long continuance, and sore sicknesses, and of long continuance. 60 Moreover he will bring upon thee all the diseases of Egypt, which thou wast afraid of; and they shall cleave unto thee. 61 Also every sickness, and every plague, which is not written in the book of this law, them will the LORD bringk upon thee, until thou be destroyed.


Deuteronomy 28: 58- 61
Reply With Quote
(#4)
Old
Ezekiel Bathfire's Avatar
Ezekiel Bathfire Ezekiel Bathfire is offline
Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance
Christ's Rottweiler
 

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Christian Love Real American™ Tithing Manager Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS True Scientist™ Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Senior Pastor Teabag Patriot TC Bravery Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant The Hatchet Child Rearing Award Ex-Brit Eats the Most Pork True Republican Ex-eurotrash Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Kirk Cameron Fan Club Nuts for JESUS! Prayer Warrior Touched by Jesus Stamp of Approval Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Mower Donald Trump 2016! Anti-sodomy Pastor Ezekiel Aardvark Bathfire Crown of Life Alternative Facts 

 
Posts: 20,633
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Toiling selflessly towards Salvation
Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: greetings - 04-21-2018, 10:28 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cherry Pie View Post
i'm a 35 year old white male living in auckland, new zealand directed to this forum by some of my mates because i'm apathetic to religion.
It is a well-known fact that people who do not have the strength of will to use capital letters lack all self-confidence.

This is confirmed by your words "directed to this forum by some of my mates because i'm apathetic " I think that what you meant to say was:


"directed to this forum by some of my mates because i'm pathetic.


Having any religion, really is not good enough. You need fully-rigged, ocean-going Christianity. Once you have learned the Bible by heart and can quote any verse, you will find that your confidence increases as your opinions are supported by God Himself.


Solution: Get yourself straight with Jesus.




Ec:7:16: Be not righteous over much; neither make thyself over wise: why shouldest thou destroy thyself?

Reply With Quote
(#5)
Old
Dr Laurence Niles's Avatar
Dr Laurence Niles Dr Laurence Niles is offline
Psychotheological Analyst Therapist
 

Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound Ready for the Rapture True Christian™ Real American™ Ex-Masturbator True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Porn Resistant Pro-Life Christian Love One Year/1000 posts True Republican Ex-Brit Ex-eurotrash Eats the Most Pork Super Soaker Baptism Award Gold Tither True Christian Provider™ award Batman Shooting Survivor True Scientist™ Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Prayer Warrior Divorcee The Lord’s Witness Wound Punched the most queers Paula Deen Negro Support Group Touched by Jesus Babysitter Stamp of Approval Trump of GOD Pancake Dinner Pastor Ezekiel Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Mission to Korea Probing for Jesus ex-sheep-shagger Asked questions later Crown of Incorruptibility 

 
Posts: 8,880
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Surrounded by queers.
Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: greetings - 04-21-2018, 10:55 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cherry Pie View Post
i'm a 35 year old white male living in auckland, new zealand directed to this forum by some of my mates because i'm apathetic to religion.
Welcome friend! It’s always great to hear from people on fire with the Lord’s love!

I’ve never been to Austria but I’ve heard it was a beautiful place (along with some more unpleasant things during the war).

What church do you go to, what is your favourite Bible(KJV1611) verse and when did you start your struggle against the evil that is Satan?

YIC


1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.

Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.
Reply With Quote
(#6)
Old
Jim C. Lombardo's Avatar
Jim C. Lombardo Jim C. Lombardo is offline
Forum Member
Forum Member

The Lord’s Witness Wound Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound Ready for the Rapture 

 
Posts: 415
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Where God puts me.
Jim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapture
Default Re: greetings - 04-21-2018, 01:06 PM

20 bucks this Cherry guy won't be back.


Reply With Quote
(#7)
Old
Cherry Pie Cherry Pie is offline
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
 
Posts: 9
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: Auckland, New Zealand
Cherry Pie is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Re: greetings - 04-22-2018, 10:40 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Thomas Taylor View Post
G'day Mr. Pie,


What is it like living on an abandoned oil rig in the North Sea?


YIC
TT
You must be mistaking New Zealand for the "country" known as Sealand. Unlike Sealand, New Zealand is a fully recognised country located south-east of Australia (The continent in the south pacific). New Zealand is mostly known for being the set of the "Lord of the Rings" film trilogy, and later "The Hobbit" prequel trilogy.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Phil Ander View Post
Did you do this for some bet, or some dare? If you are apathetic to religion and come from New Zealand I am sure that there are sites where you would be more welcomed. Perhaps googling "sheepshagging" may lead you to more mind liked individuals from your part of the world.


Phil
That is a common misconception that we have sex with sheep. It likely originated from the fact that the South Island was originally a colony that harboured a high Welsh population, also targets of this stereotype.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ezekiel Bathfire View Post
It is a well-known fact that people who do not have the strength of will to use capital letters lack all self-confidence.

This is confirmed by your words "directed to this forum by some of my mates because i'm apathetic " I think that what you meant to say was:


"directed to this forum by some of my mates because i'm pathetic.


Having any religion, really is not good enough. You need fully-rigged, ocean-going Christianity. Once you have learned the Bible by heart and can quote any verse, you will find that your confidence increases as your opinions are supported by God Himself.


Solution: Get yourself straight with Jesus.
If it's a "well known fact," as you put it, how come that there are no documented records shown from a quick search? Now, regarding your inference that I'm a religious man, however you came to that assertion through my explaination, I'm actually irreligious.

Apathy, as defined by google, is a lack of enthusiasm, interest, or concern. That is what I meant when stating that I was apathetic to religion.

Also, nobody likes a Grammar Nazi.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr Laurence Niles View Post
Welcome friend! It’s always great to hear from people on fire with the Lord’s love!

I’ve never been to Austria but I’ve heard it was a beautiful place (along with some more unpleasant things during the war).

What church do you go to, what is your favourite Bible(KJV1611) verse and when did you start your struggle against the evil that is Satan?

YIC
Austria is a Central European nation mostly existing in the Alps. It was the head of the Austro-Hungarian Empire (also known as Austria-Hungary) and existed up until 1918. After the Treaty of Trianon in 1920, Austria was a single state inhabited mostly by Germans, until Adolf Hitler "anchlussed" or united with Austria in 1938. After the Second World War, Austria was liberated (even by the Soviets, which just goes to show how little anyone cared for it) and is now just a footnote in world history.


New Zealand on the other hand is a series of islands in the South-West Pacific with the Southern Alps (I can see the confusion, yes) running through the South Island of the two main islands, the other being called the North Island. (Wow, much imagination. Very OwO.)


As implied above, I do not dabble in any religion, and to me the idea of Satan is just as unlikely as the idea of other beings.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jim C. Lombardo View Post
20 bucks this Cherry guy won't be back.

I'll take the $20 now, thank you.
Reply With Quote
(#8)
Old
Jim C. Lombardo's Avatar
Jim C. Lombardo Jim C. Lombardo is offline
Forum Member
Forum Member

The Lord’s Witness Wound Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound Ready for the Rapture 

 
Posts: 415
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Where God puts me.
Jim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapture
Default Re: greetings - 04-23-2018, 12:06 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cherry Pie View Post

I'll take the $20 now, thank you.

Though you've given us the dubious pleasure of returning, I don't recall making the bet with you. No taking Jesus' money, joo!



Reply With Quote
(#9)
Old
Thomas Taylor's Avatar
Thomas Taylor Thomas Taylor is offline
Forum Member
Forum Member

Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound Ready for the Rapture Friend of Jesus Christian Love Touched by Jesus One Year/1000 posts A for Effort 

 
Posts: 1,484
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Reaping Bountifully
Thomas Taylor is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Thomas Taylor is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Thomas Taylor is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Thomas Taylor is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Thomas Taylor is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Thomas Taylor is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Thomas Taylor is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Thomas Taylor is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Thomas Taylor is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Thomas Taylor is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Thomas Taylor is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.
Default Re: greetings - 04-23-2018, 05:15 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cherry Pie View Post
You must be mistaking New Zealand for the "country" known as Sealand. Unlike Sealand, New Zealand is a fully recognised country located south-east of Australia (The continent in the south pacific). New Zealand is mostly known for being the set of the "Lord of the Rings" film trilogy, and later "The Hobbit" prequel trilogy.
Dear Mrs. Cherry,


Thank you for pointing out that you come from Maui. That's actually in Hawaii, which is part of the USA. Please forgive my ignorance.


With regards to this Hobbit thing, it would appear you have a predilection for midgets. What is your fascination with them? I, myself, have never seen these motion pictures of which you speak and thus am really to make comment. But, remember, God tells us that idols are a bad thing:


Ezekiel 6:13
Then shall ye know that I am the LORD, when their slain men shall be among their idols round about their altars, upon every high hill, in all the tops of the mountains, and under every green tree, and under every thick oak, the place where they did offer sweet savour to all their idols

You really don't want to become part of Satan's Midget Spitroast Party, do you?


What I would suggest is that you give yourself, body and soul, to Our Lord Jesus Christ. Let Him enter you and allow you to feel His conditional love.


I will pray you stop molesting midgets.


YIC
TT


Isaiah 66:15

For behold, the Lord wil come with fire, and with his charets like a whirlewinde, to render his anger with furie, and his rebuke with flames of fire.
Reply With Quote
(#10)
Old
Faith_Machine's Avatar
Faith_Machine Faith_Machine is offline
Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
True Christian™

True Christian™ Christian Love Real American™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus Porn Resistant True Republican The Lord’s Witness Wound Pro-Life Ex-liberal Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Flat Earth Tell her once Guns, Guts and GLORY! Saved 1 Year Prayer Warrior TC Bravery True Christian Hotrodder Tagging for Jesus Paula Deen Negro Support Group Early riser Touched by Jesus 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Mission to Korea Anti-sodomy Mission to Messico Hands Off Pastor Ezekiel Sheep Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts 

 
Posts: 9,702
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: San Francisco, California
Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: greetings - 04-23-2018, 12:29 PM

I can't say I've ever met a man named "Cherry Pie" before. I assume you're into some really weird sexual things.


WARNING:
In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.
Reply With Quote
(#11)
Old
Jim C. Lombardo's Avatar
Jim C. Lombardo Jim C. Lombardo is offline
Forum Member
Forum Member

The Lord’s Witness Wound Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound Ready for the Rapture 

 
Posts: 415
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Where God puts me.
Jim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapture
Jesus Re: greetings - 04-23-2018, 04:33 PM

No doubt its some fancy stage name for turning tricks at queer bars.


Reply With Quote
(#12)
Old
Basilissa's Avatar
Basilissa Basilissa is online now
South of the Border outreach program
True Christian™
 

Friend of Jesus Ready for the Rapture True Christian™ Real American™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS True Christian Caucasian Flat Earth Persecuted Prayer Warrior Kirk Cameron Fan Club Bronze Tither Paula Deen Negro Support Group One Year/1000 posts Touched by Jesus In Love With Zeke TC Bravery 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Christian Love Mower Roper Crossburn Guns, Guts and GLORY! Mission to Korea True Christian Lady Ex-eurotrash Landover Mission to The Mexican Realms Trump of GOD Donald Trump 2016! Trumpette Saved 1 Year 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Cup of Jesus Crown of Righteousness Crown of Incorruptibility BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts 

 
Posts: 8,841
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Godly Midwest
Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: greetings - 04-23-2018, 05:36 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cherry Pie View Post
long rant
A feisty little missy, aren't you, sweetie?
Reply With Quote
(#13)
Old
Didymus Much's Avatar
Didymus Much Didymus Much is offline
Unsaved trash, Arrogant Atheist Dick
 

Hellbound Heathen Atheist Cancer on Society hippie Caution - Poster is Crazy Evilution Perv Baggie Condemned Reaper Evil Grammar Nazi Democrat Commmmmunnissss How dumb can you get? Five years in the service of the Enemy Beastiality Barney Caution - Poster is on Drugs Demonized Bleeding heart liebral Glutton Drunk Devil Rides the Short Bus Fiddler Potty mouth Retard Posting Philistine skull Pot Head Swiss Skull Sinner Devil's Trill Sonata Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Mower Pastor Ezekiel Prize for Unprecedented Retards 

 
Posts: 12,307
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: buying ALL the Kaepernick jerseys
Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: greetings - 04-23-2018, 05:41 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cherry Pie View Post
i'm a 35 year old white male living in auckland, new zealand directed to this forum by some of my mates because i'm apathetic to religion.
Your mates are idiots, or you're lying, or both.


Now that the formalities are out of the way, welcome to Landover. Why haven't you read the Bible yet?



"If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they do not want to hear." George Orwell
Reply With Quote
(#14)
Old
Brother Gonzalez's Avatar
Brother Gonzalez Brother Gonzalez is offline
Another brick in Donald´s wall
True Christian™
 

Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Christian Love Friend of Jesus Ready for the Rapture Trump of GOD Hands Off Landover Mission to The Mexican Realms Mission to Messico Flat Earth True Christian™ Guns, Guts and GLORY! Donald Trump 2016! Babysitter Outreach preacher Touched by Jesus Ex-Mary Worshipper 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Wall of Jesus Hatchet Child Rearing Award Alternative Facts Kirk Cameron Fan Club Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Crown of Incorruptibility Crown of Righteousness Mower 

 
Posts: 1,291
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: Ungodly South America
Brother Gonzalez will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Gonzalez will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Gonzalez will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Gonzalez will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Gonzalez will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Gonzalez will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Gonzalez will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Gonzalez will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Gonzalez will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Gonzalez will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Gonzalez will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: greetings - 04-23-2018, 06:26 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cherry Pie View Post

Also, nobody likes a Grammar Nazi.

You are talking for yourself. I love grammar Nazis*.


They are the only Nazis I love, by the way, those catholics are burning in Hell**.




*It is a well known fact that is only a figure of speech. No jews were hurt while making this post


**Unless they have repented before dying. In that case, they are enjoying Heaven. While jews that died in the gas chamber are suffering in Hell. I did not make the rules, please don't kill the messenger.


1 Thessalonians 4:16 For the Lord himself shall descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the TRUMP of God: and the dead in Christ shall rise first.
Reply With Quote
(#15)
Old
Cherry Pie Cherry Pie is offline
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
 
Posts: 9
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: Auckland, New Zealand
Cherry Pie is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Re: greetings - 04-23-2018, 09:17 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jim C. Lombardo View Post
Though you've given us the dubious pleasure of returning, I don't recall making the bet with you. No taking Jesus' money, joo!

As stated before, I am not Jewish, Muslim, Catholic, Hindu etc. I have no religion.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Thomas Taylor View Post
Dear Mrs. Cherry,


Thank you for pointing out that you come from Maui. That's actually in Hawaii, which is part of the USA. Please forgive my ignorance.


With regards to this Hobbit thing, it would appear you have a predilection for midgets. What is your fascination with them? I, myself, have never seen these motion pictures of which you speak and thus am really to make comment. But, remember, God tells us that idols are a bad thing:

New Zealand, as stated before, is it's own independent nation. While Hawaii and New Zealand are both originally British, and the native populace are of the same ethnicity (Polynesian), New Zealand stayed a Dominion of the UK before being released in full in 1947, along with Australia, Canada, and India/Pakistan.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Faith_Machine View Post
I can't say I've ever met a man named "Cherry Pie" before. I assume you're into some really weird sexual things.
Why would I give you my real name? I created a pseudonym based on what I was eating at the time.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Didymus Much View Post
Your mates are idiots, or you're lying, or both.


Now that the formalities are out of the way, welcome to Landover. Why haven't you read the Bible yet?
Probably the former. Although there's no need for a Black-And-White Fallacy, now, is there?


Also, I have read the Bible. I came to the conclusion that I didn't agree with quite a few of it's teachings, and if one part of the supposed "Holy Word" is false, there's no reason for me to trust any of it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Gonzalez View Post
You are talking for yourself. I love grammar Nazis*.


They are the only Nazis I love, by the way, those catholics are burning in Hell**.




*It is a well known fact that is only a figure of speech. No jews were hurt while making this post


**Unless they have repented before dying. In that case, they are enjoying Heaven. While jews that died in the gas chamber are suffering in Hell. I did not make the rules, please don't kill the messenger.

You diseased human being.
Reply With Quote
(#16)
Old
Basilissa's Avatar
Basilissa Basilissa is online now
South of the Border outreach program
True Christian™
 

Friend of Jesus Ready for the Rapture True Christian™ Real American™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS True Christian Caucasian Flat Earth Persecuted Prayer Warrior Kirk Cameron Fan Club Bronze Tither Paula Deen Negro Support Group One Year/1000 posts Touched by Jesus In Love With Zeke TC Bravery 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Christian Love Mower Roper Crossburn Guns, Guts and GLORY! Mission to Korea True Christian Lady Ex-eurotrash Landover Mission to The Mexican Realms Trump of GOD Donald Trump 2016! Trumpette Saved 1 Year 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Cup of Jesus Crown of Righteousness Crown of Incorruptibility BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts 

 
Posts: 8,841
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Godly Midwest
Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: greetings - 04-23-2018, 09:42 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cherry Pie View Post
As stated before, I am not Jewish, Muslim, Catholic, Hindu etc. I have no religion.
...Aaand?

Quote:
New Zealand, as stated before, is it's own independent nation. While Hawaii and New Zealand are both originally British, and the native populace are of the same ethnicity (Polynesian), New Zealand stayed a Dominion of the UK before being released in full in 1947, along with Australia, Canada, and India/Pakistan.
You still bow before the British queen, don't you?

Quote:
Why would I give you my real name? I created a pseudonym based on what I was eating at the time.
Of course, sweetie. The thing is that no manly man would think of "cherry pie" as a nickname.

Quote:
Also, I have read the Bible. I came to the conclusion that I didn't agree with quite a few of it's teachings, and if one part of the supposed "Holy Word" is false, there's no reason for me to trust any of it.
Which of the teachings did you dislike?

Quote:
You diseased human being.
That was very racist of you, missy.
Reply With Quote
(#17)
Old
Faith_Machine's Avatar
Faith_Machine Faith_Machine is offline
Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
True Christian™

True Christian™ Christian Love Real American™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus Porn Resistant True Republican The Lord’s Witness Wound Pro-Life Ex-liberal Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Flat Earth Tell her once Guns, Guts and GLORY! Saved 1 Year Prayer Warrior TC Bravery True Christian Hotrodder Tagging for Jesus Paula Deen Negro Support Group Early riser Touched by Jesus 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Mission to Korea Anti-sodomy Mission to Messico Hands Off Pastor Ezekiel Sheep Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts 

 
Posts: 9,702
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: San Francisco, California
Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: greetings - 04-23-2018, 09:59 PM

Why on Earth wouldn't you tell us your real name? You're obviously not a Christian, nor an heterosexual, so you're clearly not in danger of being persecuted. Thus, I have no idea what your need for secrecy is about. Are you hiding something?


WARNING:
In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.
Reply With Quote
(#18)
Old
Jim C. Lombardo's Avatar
Jim C. Lombardo Jim C. Lombardo is offline
Forum Member
Forum Member

The Lord’s Witness Wound Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound Ready for the Rapture 

 
Posts: 415
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Where God puts me.
Jim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapture
Default Re: greetings - 04-23-2018, 10:22 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cherry Pie View Post
As stated before, I am not Jewish, Muslim, Catholic, Hindu etc. I have no religion.
Evidently, you are a misguided atheist whose come to mock us behind a squicky porn name.


Reply With Quote
(#19)
Old
Cherry Pie Cherry Pie is offline
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
 
Posts: 9
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: Auckland, New Zealand
Cherry Pie is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Re: greetings - 04-24-2018, 12:02 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Basilissa View Post
You still bow before the British queen, don't you?
Nope. I don't "bow" to anyone. Besides, the queen is only a figurehead.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Basilissa View Post
Of course, sweetie. The thing is that no manly man would think of "cherry pie" as a nickname.
I was eating a cherry pie shortly before thinking about my nickname. Hindsight is 20/20.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Basilissa View Post
Which of the teachings did you dislike?
The ones specifically attaining to Racism, Slavery, Stoning, Gay-Shaming. Basically the ones that are either outlawed or frowned upon in today's modern society.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Basilissa View Post
That was very racist of you, missy.
[/QUOTE]


I wasn't insulting blacks, asians, whites etc. on the basis of them being black, asian, white etc. I was merely pointing out how inhumane what Mr. Gonzalez was saying, and then attributing it to your God, as if any diety would actually condone this kind of behaviour.


Side note, I'm a male, thank you very much.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Faith_Machine View Post
Why on Earth wouldn't you tell us your real name? You're obviously not a Christian, nor an heterosexual, so you're clearly not in danger of being persecuted. Thus, I have no idea what your need for secrecy is about. Are you hiding something?

1: No, I'm not a Christian. Do I have to repeat this multiple times?
2: Actually, I am straight.
3: I'm keeping my name private so that nobody comes to my house and starts doorknocking like the last group of baptists did. (That's your branch of Christianity, if I'm not mistaken?)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jim C. Lombardo View Post
Evidently, you are a misguided atheist whose come to mock us behind a squicky porn name.

Most of that depends on how you define "atheist."
As I define "atheist" as "One who lacks belief in a god or multiple gods," then yes, I would be an athiest. Many who would also define themselves this way would call themselves agnostics.


I did not come to mock you, and I did not choose a "porn name" as you put it. This has been explained before, and if you want me to change the name, then please direct me on how to do so.
Reply With Quote
(#20)
Old
Roland's Avatar
Roland Roland is offline
Obese Swedish Meatball
Delusional Forum Member
 

Nutjob Meatball Worshiper Beastiality Hellbound Heathen Bleeding heart liebral Eurotrash Glutton Condemned Reaper Frenchie Barney Spaghettarian Piratefish Grammar Nazi Drunk Numbers Nazi Perv Stalker Panda Sinner Gunfest '14 Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars One Year/1000 posts Probing for Jesus 

 
Posts: 1,597
Join Date: May 2014
Location: On a mountain with a tree and a midgit
Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: greetings - 04-24-2018, 12:25 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cherry Pie View Post
[...]
3: I'm keeping my name private so that nobody comes to my house and starts doorknocking like the last group of baptists did. (That's your branch of Christianity, if I'm not mistaken?)[...]
Hello Cherry,

Welcome to this forum. Please don´t mind the Baptists knocking on your door , they do that as they want to save you. Just behave yourself a bit when you are here and you´ll probably be fine.

Kind regards,

Roland


Jeremiah 6:21 Therefore thus saith the LORD, Behold, I will lay stumblingblocks before this people, and the fathers and the sons together shall fall upon them; the neighbour and his friend shall perish.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Find Additional Forums Here



Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2018 all rights reserved