[New Creation (Recalcitrant)]

Friends,

I realize I have been here but a very short time, but regardless, I ask all of you to intercede before the Throne on my behalf in these coming weeks. Let me explain.

Oak Ridge Baptist Church, in which I sit as both a deacon and a board member, is the church that I grew up in and which my family has attended for many generations. This church is very close to my heart. On the sign outside the church it says

Oak Ridge Baptist Church

Independent, fundamentalist Baptist

KJV1611 Only

but I fear the sign bears a misnomer. While the congregation is indeed independent, I believe they've become so independent as to fall away from the second word on the second line of the sign: fundamentalist.

Being on the board, and my wife being in the rumor mill, I know exactly the kinds of doctrines that unofficially float around the church before the service begins. Some of the women who "volunteer" to cook dinner for the rest of the church for our monthly Fellowship dinner have begun murmuring that the men of the church should start helping them cook. And that's not the worst of it. Some of the men have started going along with this nonsense. As a deacon it's my job to visit the enfeabled and elderly in their homes to see if the church can assist them. This morning, I stopped in on a man whose wife is pregnant to drop off the recording of last night's service and she was... she was wearing gym shorts.

Of course, I immediately took the man aside and asked him why he wasn't doing his duty as head of the house and rebuking his harlot of a wife. He started on about sympathizing with her, and that it was only for a few months while she's pregnant. I said that the Bible makes no exceptions to Deuteronomy 22:5 and that if he does he's in danger of judgement- not only be me and the rest of the congregation, but by the living God Himself. He immediately asked his wife to go change into a skirt and she (begrudgingly) complied. It is obvious that this household is out of order.

Then came the straw that broke the camel's back. It's my duty as Deacon to report any unusual activity in the congregation to the senior pastor. So, when I got home (after fixing myself a snack) I called him. He was in his study putting together a sermon when I called and asked me to call him back in about ten minutes. I waited, then called him back and explained the situation. He asked me what the situation was.

I thoroughly explained to him everything I had seen and heard that morning and he still couldn't see it. I even read scripture to this man- to the senior pastor- and all he would say is that we should feel for her because she's pregnant. I was ashamed that people in my own church would ignore the word of God for a mere mortal. This is certainly not the same church I grew up in. I told the pastor we would take further at the board meeting and hung up.

I told my wife what happened and told her to stop mopping and come to our prayer closet immediately. We locked ourselves in for 45 minutes seeking God's direction in this situation. This is where you all come in. I believe that God is calling me to step down as deacon and board member and leave this church because of the apparent decay among its members.

I'd like you all to pray about this, as will we. I intend to announce my intentions to my fellow board members on Tuesday night, when we have our weekly meeting. Please pray that God will help me make the right decision- whether I should stay and help these people, or leave them to their own destruction.

Thank you all in advance for your prayers on this very sensitive problem.

YIC,

New Creation

[John Creeser]

Dear friend,

It sounds as if your church is falling apart at the seems. I would remind your pastor that the Bible is to be followed TO THE LETTER as commanded by GOD.

Deuteronomy 4:2 Ye shall not add unto the word which I command you, neither shall ye diminish ought from it, that ye may keep the commandments of the LORD your God which I command you.

Deuteronomy 12:32 What thing soever I command you, observe to do it: thou shalt not add thereto, nor diminish from it.

Proverbs 30:5 Every word of God is pure: he is a shield unto them that put their trust in him.
Proverbs 30:6 Add thou not unto his words, lest he reprove thee, and thou be found a liar.

Matthew 4:4 Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God.

Romans 15:4 For whatsoever things were written aforetime were written for our learning, that we through patience and comfort of the scriptures might have hope.

James 2:10 For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all.

Revelation 22:18 For I testify unto every man that heareth the words of the prophecy of this book, If any man shall add unto these things, God shall add unto him the plagues that are written in this book:
Revelation 22:19 And if any man shall take away from the words of the book of this prophecy, God shall take away his part out of the book of life, and out of the holy city, and from the things which are written in this book.

And whats this about the men helping women cook? I've never so much as boiled a pot of water. Do we need to remind your men the role of women?

Genesis 3:16 Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.

1st Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

1st Corinthians 11:9 Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man.

1st Corinthians 14:34 Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience, as also saith the law.
1st Corinthians 14:35 And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church.

You'll be in my prayers

[James Hutchins]

Oh I thought you were leaving Church and going out to lunch. Nevermind.

[Humongous]

well, it seems like you are off to a fine start here, friend!

yic,
Lori Humongous

[New Creation (Recalcitrant)]

Originally Posted by Humongous

well, it seems like you are off to a fine start here, friend!

yic,
Lori Humongous

Thanks, Humongous, but keep me in your prayers. I believe God is working in this bad situation.

[handmaiden]

The issue noted in the post above regarding men cooking has created a great fog of confusion on my inferior mind.

I am uncertain as to whether or not there are any clear, explicit directives in the Bible forbidding men to cook, or its inverse, commanding women to do so.

Holding close to my heart the ferverant hope that some dear brother or other will rebuke me if I error in my understanding of sacred writ, I will go far, far out onto a limb, (and possibly quite deservedly fall and crash to my death), and suggest that it is acceptable in the Lord's eyes for a man to cook if -- and only if-- he is getting paid to do so. That would make the activity a respectable form of employment, not homemaking, which the Lord firmly has declared to be the lessor provence of women's work.

Of course, I could be wrong, in which case the indisputable lesson here is that women such as myself have no business partaking in such discussions in the first place.

God's Word and Will be done.

Tentatively Yours,

Handmaiden

[Johny Joe Hold]

Handmaiden is thinking very seriously about the Biblical implications here.

I think she is onto something in her observations it might be OK for a man to cook if he is being paid.

Another thing to consider, it seems to me, is the race of the man who might be cooking. It strikes me as OK for a man to cook if his heritage is African or Asian. A white male of Northern European heritage should not cook in his own home or church.

As far as leaving your church over this issue? Yes.

[New Creation (Recalcitrant)]

Today's the big day. Keep me in your prayers! Mayor Hold, who do I contact about moving to Freehold? I'm sure there's some kind of screening process. Bobby-Joe, maybe?

[Little Donkey]

Then came the straw that broke the camel's back. It's my duty as Deacon to report any unusual activity in the congregation to the senior pastor. So, when I got home (after fixing myself a snack) I called him.

[New Creation (Recalcitrant)]

Originally Posted by Little Donkey

What?

I didn't want to be dishonest and say "I ran in the door and immediately called him!" because I didn't. I was hungry.

Would you have me lie?

[Little Donkey]

Originally Posted by New Creation

What?

I didn't want to be dishonest and say "I ran in the door and immediately called him!" because I didn't. I was hungry.

Would you have me lie?

No but I am wondering why you are reporting the men for doing the cooking and then going home and cooking yourself! I think the demons are amok in your rectum, Sir.

[New Creation (Recalcitrant)]

Beware of accusing people without evidence. Satan himself is referred to as the "accuser of our brethren" in Revelation 12:10.

The last thing I ate before that snack was a plate of waffles that my wife made me at 7:00 that morning. If you are so intent on finding fault in your brothers, let me explain the process of "fixing myself a snack" starting from the time I entered my front door.

I opened my Brazilian mahogany french door and hung my jacket on the coat rack in the foyer. I walked through the living room, and up the stairs toward my study. About halfway up the stairs my stomach growled and I realized how hungry I was. I walked back down the stairs and into the kitchen where I found my wife cleaning between the tiles with a toothbrush. The kids were still at school.

I told her to get me a nine ounce sirloin steak and a cold beer and meet me at the grill. She got a steak out of the bottom freezer drawer as I walked toward the sliding glass door leading to the rear patio. I fired up the grill as she brought the plate, glass, beer, ice, barbeque sauce, tongs, brush, and hand towel to me. By this time I was really hungry and getting irritated at how long it took her.

I like my steak rare so once she got everything together it didn't take long to cook the steak, brush it with barbeque sauce (my own recipe) and throw it on the plate. She, of course, poured the beer. I ate outside at the picnic table while going over the minutes of last weeks board meeting and thinking about what I was going to say on that phone call. When I was done my snack, I went inside to call the pastor while my wife cleaned up.

Tell me, men of the church, does a deacon do his own cooking? Almost never. Please let me know if Jesus has a problem with me cooking my own steak.

[Little Donkey]

Of course men do the barbeques, this is beyond question! Even atheists know that. Perhaps the Lord has just given you the solution to your Church's problem... If the women want the men to cook, and the men are too weak to restore order, then arrange for weekly barbeques. Daily barbeques. Barbeques every meal. Blood pudding for dessert. Meat shakes to drink. Meat meat meat all day every day until the women realize their place.

[New Creation (Recalcitrant)]

Originally Posted by Little Donkey

Of course men do the barbeques, this is beyond question! Even atheists know that. Perhaps the Lord has just given you the solution to your Church's problem... If the women want the men to cook, and the men are too weak to restore order, then arrange for weekly barbeques. Daily barbeques. Barbeques every meal. Blood pudding for dessert. Meat shakes to drink. Meat meat meat all day every day until the women realize their place.

As I'm leaving that church, effective tonight, it's a moot point really. But I'm glad we've cleared up any misconceptions.

[Liam the ex-drunk]

My prayers are with you friend. I know how difficult it is to leave a church, although a cult (like my ex-'church') can really mess with your head. I pray too, that the good people of Landover will welcome you to thier fold.

[New Creation (Recalcitrant)]

Originally Posted by Irish_Sinner

My prayers are with you friend. I know how difficult it is to leave a church, although a cult (like my ex-'church') can really mess with your head. I pray too, that the good people of Landover will welcome you to thier fold.

Well, since you didn't post that until a few hours ago your prayers were a little late, but thanks nonetheless, I guess.

The meeting went as well as can be expected. Needless to say, the men in the church did not like having their sin called out.

We started the meeting at a little after 7 PM with the board members gathered together in the Fellowship Hall conference room. Pastor led us in prayer and asked the secretary to recount the minutes of the previous meeting. After some mumbo-jumbo about Sunday-school funding the pastor said it was my turn to speak.

I stood at the head of the table where everyone could see and began reciting Proverbs 26:3-11:

A whip for the horse, a bridle for the ass, and a rod for the fool's back.
Answer not a fool according to his folly, lest thou also be like unto him.
Answer a fool according to his folly, lest he be wise in his own conceit.
He that sendeth a message by the hand of a fool cutteth off the feet, and drinketh damage.
The legs of the lame are not equal: so is a parable in the mouth of fools.
As he that bindeth a stone in a sling, so is he that giveth honour to a fool.
As a thorn goeth up into the hand of a drunkard, so is a parable in the mouths of fools.
The great God that formed all things both rewardeth the fool, and rewardeth transgressors.
As a dog returneth to his vomit, so a fool returneth to his folly.

I announced that due to the departure of the church from sound doctrine I was formally resigning as board member and deacon, effective immediately. Of course, many were shocked, and brother Cobb demanded to know exactly what I spoke of. Fortunately I was prepared for just such a question and removed the list from the interior breast pocket of my suit coat.

1.) Women wearing pants, shorts, and slacks. See Deuteronomy 22:5

2.) Women talking in church. See 1 Timothy 2:11

3.) Women using the pulpit to spout "equal rights" garbage. See Genesis 3:16

4.) Children going unspanked when crying in church. See Proverbs 13:24, 19:18, 22:15, 23:13, and 29:15.

5.) Using and condoning contemporary music in worship services. See James 4:4.

6.) Failing to require every member of the church to tithe at least ten percent of their annual gross income. See Malachi 3:8.

7.) etc., etc., etc.

Fifteen minutes into my reading brother Jackson tried to stand up and stop the reading, but I wouldn't have it. I shouted "Get thee hence, Satan! You will be rebuked!" He took his seat and I continued reading.

After half an hour I finished reading the list and set it down on the table. I told them they could keep it. Many of them looked at me with wide eyes, some looked around at each other, and still others wouldn't make
eye contact. I told them that because of their sin I was departing their midst and planned on attending and tithing to another church where they preach what's actually in the Bible.

No one stopped me as I gathered my briefcase and walked toward the door. I could feel the Holy Ghost in that room and I believe he was convicting each and every one of them for their sin. As I left I looked over my should and recited 2 Timothy 4:3.

"For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; but after their own lusts shall they heap to themselves teachers, having itching ears"

I pulled out of the parking lot in my Lexus LS 460 Sport and haven't set foor on their property nor spoken to any of those sinners since.

Now, who do I contact to set up a tithing schedule?

[New Creation (Recalcitrant)]

Originally Posted by New Creation

Now, who do I contact to set up a tithing schedule?

...anyone?

[Didymus Much]

Originally Posted by New Creation

...anyone?

Sure, ok, just pm'd you my address, cheques payable to "CASH", wonderful.

[New Creation (Recalcitrant)]

Originally Posted by Didymus Much

Sure, ok, just pm'd you my address, cheques payable to "CASH", wonderful.

Haha, Didymus. Not only are you unsaved trash, you're also crazy, a hippie, and an intellectual guerrilla. There's no way I'm sending my money to you. I'm sending it to God one way or another.

But seriously, can someone PM me with instructions on how to donate?

[HTannor]

Originally Posted by New Creation

But seriously, can someone PM me with instructions on how to donate?

I believe our lovely sister Daisy Mae Johnson can assist you. Send her a PM.