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WEDDING BELLS! - Christian Wedding Forum A seasonal forum hosted by cyber Bridesmaids, Daisy Mae Johnson, Sister Mary Etheldreda and Sister Talitha . Groomly advice is also offered from Best Man, Pastor Zeke!

 
 
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Halo Engaged to be married :) - 06-18-2017, 09:58 AM

I'm engaged. My Daddy has found a wonderful man for me, and I'm super excited to tell you all that I will be married next month.

I'm so excited. Praise be Jesus.
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Default Re: Engaged to be married :) - 06-18-2017, 11:51 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by ann the chinaman girl View Post
I'm engaged. My Daddy has found a wonderful man for me, and I'm super excited to tell you all that I will be married next month.

I'm so excited. Praise be Jesus.
Congratulations. I hope your husband has the love of Christ. May you have many blessed soldiers for Christ, and may they speak American and not look too chinky.


I hope that your excitement does not lead to premarital seeding. God would not be happy with this.


All the best


Phil


58 If thou wilt not observe to do all the words of this law that are written in this book, that thou mayest fear this glorious and fearful name, THE LORD THY GOD; 59 Then the LORD will make thy plagues wonderful, and the plagues of thy seed, even great plagues, and of long continuance, and sore sicknesses, and of long continuance. 60 Moreover he will bring upon thee all the diseases of Egypt, which thou wast afraid of; and they shall cleave unto thee. 61 Also every sickness, and every plague, which is not written in the book of this law, them will the LORD bringk upon thee, until thou be destroyed.


Deuteronomy 28: 58- 61
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Default Re: Engaged to be married :) - 06-18-2017, 06:24 PM

May the LORD bless your marriage with many strong baby boys! And I'm sure your mother will prepare you for your wedding night responsibilities, so I won't go into any details. Just remember that while Jesus is watching and judging, He's seen it all before so you needn't feel too awkward.


Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Default Re: Engaged to be married :) - 06-18-2017, 07:50 PM

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Originally Posted by Mary Etheldreda View Post
May the LORD bless your marriage with many strong baby boys! And I'm sure your mother will prepare you for your wedding night responsibilities, so I won't go into any details. Just remember that while Jesus is watching and judging, He's seen it all before so you needn't feel too awkward.
Aww, Sister Mary E., you are just so supportive! I had considered sending along a towel as a gift to the new bride, but nothing as nice as the one that I found for your birthday.


Something that posh so early on in the marriage sends the wrong message, don't you think?


His left hand should be under my head, and his right hand should embrace me.

Guns For God and the Economy
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Default Re: Engaged to be married :) - 06-18-2017, 07:56 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by handmaiden View Post
Aww, Sister Mary E., you are just so supportive! I had considered sending along a towel as a gift to the new bride, but nothing as nice as the one that I found for your birthday.


Something that posh so early on in the marriage sends the wrong message, don't you think?
That one you sent me is just so lovely! It really means a lot to me to have something nice that belongs just to me.


And yes, I agree. Something so posh early on in the marriage sends a message of entitlement. A young bride should forever be grateful.


Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Jesus' eternal love Re: Engaged to be married :) - 06-18-2017, 09:41 PM

Thanks everyone, yes I'm very excited. Daddy says some fornication is good before but my flower is only after the wedding.

He's a good Christian man whose wife passed last year. I will also have 3 children as a blessing from his previous union.
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Rebuke Re: Engaged to be married :) - 06-18-2017, 11:16 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by ann the chinaman girl View Post
Thanks everyone, yes I'm very excited. Daddy says some fornication is good before but my flower is only after the wedding.

He's a good Christian man whose wife passed last year. I will also have 3 children as a blessing from his previous union.

Then apparently your father is a hell-bound heathen. No fornication is good. (1 Corinthians 6:9). Ever! I have never known a woman and all of my buddies here can vouch for that. And I was raised Catholic, where you can sin for six as long as on the 7th you tell it to the priest.


I am not sure why you think messing around with s-e-x is ok but you want to plant a garden afterward. Flowers can wait, woman. You need to get your morality in gear before considering marriage.


If I might offer one more opinion (in Christian love): If your dad thinks it's ok to fornicate, it is very likely the person he chose for you is not holy and is not a man of God. Break it off now before both of you end up getting shackled in the chains of the devil. Your children could grow up as dog eating ching chongs, possessed with demons who talk funny. This is serious advice. Wait until the Lord sends the right one.


Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
“The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”

Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man.
Amen and Amen
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Default Re: Engaged to be married :) - 06-20-2017, 05:11 AM

Dear Ann,


Always remember that your sire is required to provide proof of your purity to the city:


Deuteronomy 22:17


“And loe, he hath giuen occasions of speech against her, saying, I found not thy daughter a maid: and yet these are the tokens of my daughters virginity; and they shall spread the cloth before the Elders of the citie."


I wish you all the best on your upcoming nuptials and the successful proof of your purity.


YIC
TT


Isaiah 66:15

For behold, the Lord wil come with fire, and with his charets like a whirlewinde, to render his anger with furie, and his rebuke with flames of fire.
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Default Re: Engaged to be married :) - 06-22-2017, 02:29 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by ann the chinaman girl View Post
Thanks everyone, yes I'm very excited. Daddy says some fornication is good before but my flower is only after the wedding.

He's a good Christian man whose wife passed last year. I will also have 3 children as a blessing from his previous union.
Ann, no "good Christian man" will want to fornicate with you before your wedding night. In fact, a good man would slap you silly for even suggesting that. Your duty is to be entirely pure on your wedding day, so you can hold your head up and wear white. Also, in this month before your marriage, make sure to take good care of understanding how to run a Christian, efficient, tidy household with good American cooking. Beyond bearing and rearing children and being obedient to your husband's whims, that is your main job.


"Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands." Proverbs 14:1
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Jesus Re: Engaged to be married :) - 06-22-2017, 02:53 AM

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Originally Posted by Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson View Post
Ann, no "good Christian man" will want to fornicate with you before your wedding night. In fact, a good man would slap you silly for even suggesting that. Your duty is to be entirely pure on your wedding day, so you can hold your head up and wear white. Also, in this month before your marriage, make sure to take good care of understanding how to run a Christian, efficient, tidy household with good American cooking. Beyond bearing and rearing children and being obedient to your husband's whims, that is your main job.

Thank you, Sister, for agreeing with me on this fact. I do not believe this marriage should take place, but it's not mine to decide. I have engaged in many prayers for the Lord to intervene one way or another. My fear is that little chink demons will emanate from this union and it's so hard to understand them. JESUS has the power to rebuke them, however - so the devil won't win.


By the way, your father and I were negotiating for your hand in marriage and I offered him $19.95 plus free horse care for life. He abruptly stopped responding to my messages. Any idea why? Considering you are used, I thought that was a pretty fair offer. Plus, look at what YOU would be getting. Intelligence, looks, and education doesn't come cheap, you know. When my Dad dies, I will inherit all the car dealerships, the garage, a clothing store, and a monetary amount I can't disclose yet. Also, Michael Hezekiah left me a nice amount in his will that I also can't disclose just now and a property in Iowa near Freehold that I am planning to visit in a few days. Quite the package, I'd say. I would need you to learn how to make a lemon meringue pie pretty quickly and I would like to put your kids in a Christian boarding school after I get to know them for an hour or so. I have one in mind in Maine.


COME, LORD JESUS!

BrotherLarry


Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
“The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”

Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man.
Amen and Amen
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Default Re: Engaged to be married :) - 07-10-2017, 06:04 AM

Brother Larry, please PM my account (for my father's eyes only) if you want to consider pursuing that course of action. My father was recently called away on a trip to minister to the heathens in Italy, and has been busy doing the Lord's work as he goes through hotels. He says he makes people cry out things like "Oh Jesus!" and "Lord, I'm coming!" and from what my small female brain can understand, he's saved many souls.


"Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands." Proverbs 14:1
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Default Re: Engaged to be married :) - 09-12-2017, 12:03 PM

Congratulations sister
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Default Re: Engaged to be married :) - 09-25-2017, 01:35 PM

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Originally Posted by ann the chinaman girl View Post
I'm engaged. My Daddy has found a wonderful man for me, and I'm super excited to tell you all that I will be married next month.

I'm so excited. Praise be Jesus.

Congrats dear. I hope you have wed another chinaman and not leeched onto a good White American®, lest you bring a mongoloid hybrid into this world. Together with your commie husband, may you find Christ and tithe to a True Christian™ ministry.
 

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