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Default Re: Unicorns - 09-09-2009, 06:47 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Emil Sledge View Post
now pops always told us kids there was no sucha thing as unicorns and now here you say the bible say there are and i never seen one even in prison there was this one guy one time he got kinda shanked and had a spoon handl sticking out his forhead. hes ok now. hes another jesus lover like me and thats why hes ok now and hes gettin out in novembere and I hope he comes to davenport too or maybe free hold when we come to see youu all on the Grey hounde bus
Interesting. Usually cranial trauma causes homosexurality.


Cling to your guns and religion. "Change" is here.
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Default Re: Unicorns - 09-09-2009, 07:03 AM

That guy what got shanked hes no homo and i aint either Geena will tell you. oh Yeah. I gotta bed down for the nigt now maybe ill visit the Land Over forum again tomorrow and i have questions about JEsusChrist and I wanna make sure he helps he to stay out of that place so I trust him and i hope that Mike Hukabee guy can be presedent so he can make the laws so people who love Jesus dont have to go to jail no more no matter what they do. Goodnight Land over church!~!!!!
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Default Re: Unicorns - 09-09-2009, 05:30 PM

Of course unicorns are real. They were nearly hunted to extinction, but they are slowly being bred back.



_
_

Proverbs 27:17
Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.
Romans 1:20
For the invisible things of Him from the creation of the world are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even His eternal power and Godhead; so that they are without excuse:
2 Timothy 2:15
Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.

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Default Re: Unicorns - 09-10-2009, 12:53 AM

I don't understand, Mr. Goldman. You have no problem believing in unicorns, but when Jesus mentions werewolves you laugh at that.


Matthew 5:43-44
Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy. But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;
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Default Re: Unicorns - 09-10-2009, 01:36 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Wally's World View Post
I don't understand, Mr. Goldman. You have no problem believing in unicorns, but when Jesus mentions werewolves you laugh at that.
I laugh when YOU mention werewolves

But there in no mention of werewolves in the Bible. The concept didn't even exist in Old Testament, and during the New Testament the Greek word λυκάνθρωπος is never cited.

Jesus is of course the master of parables, and He used them for this reason:
Mark 4:10-12, 33
Quote:
10 And when he was alone, they that were about him with the twelve asked of him the parable.

11 And he said unto them, Unto you it is given to know the mystery of the kingdom of God: but unto them that are without, all these things are done in parables:

12 That seeing they may see, and not perceive; and hearing they may hear, and not understand; lest at any time they should be converted, and their sins should be forgiven them.

33 And with many such parables spake he the word unto them, as they were able to hear it.
Obviously you do not understand the parables of Jesus because he has you marked for Hell. You see them, but do not perceived them. You hear them, but do not understand them; lest at any time you become converted to True Christianity ™ and have your sins forgiven. (see verse 12).


_
_

Proverbs 27:17
Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.
Romans 1:20
For the invisible things of Him from the creation of the world are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even His eternal power and Godhead; so that they are without excuse:
2 Timothy 2:15
Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.

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Default Re: Unicorns - 09-10-2009, 11:44 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by David Goldman View Post
Of course unicorns are real. They were nearly hunted to extinction, but they are slowly being bred back.



I never actually knew they were real thanks for educating me


The glory of the LORD went up from the cherub, and stood over the threshold of the house; and the house was filled with the cloud, and the court was full of the brightness of the LORD's glory
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Default Re: Unicorns - 09-11-2009, 12:15 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by releaseme View Post
I never actually knew they were real thanks for educating me
Now when are you going to start studying the Holy Bible? THAT's education!

Quote:
Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil. For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled. Matthew 5:18


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

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Default Re: Unicorns - 09-11-2009, 01:04 AM

A bit late here, but I've spent most of the day in the bowels of the Biblical Zoological Faculty over at Landover Christian University. It appears we have the only skeleton of a Unicorn in Christendom:
Attached Images
 





“We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

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Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.
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Default Re: Unicorns - 09-11-2009, 08:56 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
Now when are you going to start studying the Holy Bible? THAT's education!
PASTOR i'm soon going to start studying the Holy Bible


The glory of the LORD went up from the cherub, and stood over the threshold of the house; and the house was filled with the cloud, and the court was full of the brightness of the LORD's glory
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Default Re: Unicorns - 09-11-2009, 01:24 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by releaseme View Post
PASTOR i'm soon going to start studying the Holy Bible
Oh you are, huh? That's good to hear.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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releaseme releaseme is offline
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Default Re: Unicorns - 09-12-2009, 08:24 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
Oh you are, huh? That's good to hear.
Yes i am Pastor.


The glory of the LORD went up from the cherub, and stood over the threshold of the house; and the house was filled with the cloud, and the court was full of the brightness of the LORD's glory
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One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Uber Angels Driver Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Golden Bear Award Mission Long service medal, 2nd class Aardvark Asked questions later Heart of compassion Crown of Righteousness The Crown of Crowns Crown of Glory Crown of Incorruptibility Crown of Rejoicing Crown of Life BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Mission to the Philippines Clorox Cured Me QAnon Storm Chaser Anti-Biden British Royalty

 
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Default Re: Unicorns - 09-12-2009, 11:58 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by releaseme View Post
Yes i am Pastor.
A Pastor of what? Post the link to your church, friend!


...Can you find your "Shift" key I wonder?


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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releaseme releaseme is offline
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Default Re: Unicorns - 09-12-2009, 09:39 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
A Pastor of what? Post the link to your church, friend!


...Can you find your "Shift" key I wonder?
Sorry I meant yes I am going to read the Bible.


The glory of the LORD went up from the cherub, and stood over the threshold of the house; and the house was filled with the cloud, and the court was full of the brightness of the LORD's glory
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