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The introduction forum Attention Unsaved Trash: This the ONLY subforum you can start threads in. Here is where you introduce yourself. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus.

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Snoothie1289 Snoothie1289 is offline
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Default I'm new! - 10-16-2006, 07:39 PM

Hey everyone! I'm new here at Landover, the greatest place on earth! I'm 17 so i'm in the high school youth group at the church. I would love to get to know everyone. Let me know if there is anything I can ever do for any of you. Have a wonderful day!
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Default Re: I'm new! - 10-16-2006, 07:45 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Snoothie1289 View Post
Hey everyone! I'm new here at Landover, the greatest place on earth! I'm 17 so i'm in the high school youth group at the church. I would love to get to know everyone. Let me know if there is anything I can ever do for any of you. Have a wonderful day!
Well Chid, you can start by telling us if you read your Bible(KJV1611)?
Do you have a Church and do you Tithe to that Chuch? If not, you can certainly help your future chanes of getting in "Favour with our Saviour©" by making a Loving Donation to Jesus© by using the Paypal Button.



Sister Talitha

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HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41



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Default Re: I'm new! - 10-16-2006, 07:49 PM

Yes mam I do read my King James Bible, it's the only one i've got. Yes I do attend a church that I tthe to each and ever Sunday. I wish very much that I could attrend Landover, but i am in, SC. I've been in church all my life, ever since i was a little child. The one thing I am upset about is that my parentys never punished me in a biblical way. In fact they neverr punished me at all. Believe me thoiugh when I have children i'm gonna beat them just as the good Lord says to.
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Default Re: I'm new! - 10-16-2006, 08:08 PM

Dear friend:

We always enjoy getting new members who are on fire for the Lord. I'm glad to hear that you attend a church, but I'm curious about the church that you attend. What does it teach about the wearing of mixed fabrics? What does it teach about proper dress for women in church, including head coverings and types of jewelry that they may or may not wear? What does it teach about the treatment of widows?

Have a blessed day.

In Christ's abundant love,
MSTT


This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

Questions to ask liberal "Christians"Things that the Bible doesn't sayTolerance

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Default Re: I'm new! - 10-16-2006, 08:12 PM

All women must wear dresses that are below the knee. You are not allowed to wear mixed fabrics. You can't wear any jewlery, it takes away from what you are there for and that is Jesus. All widows are treated wonderfully with tons of love.
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Default Re: I'm new! - 10-16-2006, 09:08 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Snoothie1289 View Post
All women must wear dresses that are below the knee. You are not allowed to wear mixed fabrics. You can't wear any jewlery, it takes away from what you are there for and that is Jesus. All widows are treated wonderfully with tons of love.

You do well, but should quote Biblical Text to prove what you say:

1 Timothy 5:3
Honour widows that are widows indeed.



Sister Talitha

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HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41



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Default Re: I'm new! - 10-16-2006, 09:10 PM

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Originally Posted by Snoothie1289 View Post
All women must wear dresses that are below the knee. You are not allowed to wear mixed fabrics. You can't wear any jewlery, it takes away from what you are there for and that is Jesus. All widows are treated wonderfully with tons of love.
My dear, you sound like you're certainly on the right path to Salvation! I feel you could most likely use some spiritual guidance from one of our loving, Godly Pastors just to clear out any liebral nonsense that you may have been brainwashed with.

I pray that you will find the Light and accept Jesus into your heart!

~Rain
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Default Re: I'm new! - 10-16-2006, 09:12 PM

GLORY!

I think she is on the right path to Salvation© too. But I won't be convinced until I see that she has stolen her Dad's credit card and tithed to GOD's Favorite Church™.

Welcome Snoothie. JESUS always needs new warriors!

With Love, Sister Thumper




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Last edited by Daisy Mae Johnson; 10-16-2006 at 09:25 PM.
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Default Re: I'm new! - 10-16-2006, 09:21 PM

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Originally Posted by BibleThumpinBlonde View Post
GLORY!

I think she is on the right pat to Salvation© too. But I won't be convinced until I see that she has stolen her Dad's credit card and tithed to GOD's Favorite Church™.

Welcome Snoothie. JESUS always needs new warriors!

With Love, Sister Thumper
I'm sure you and Sister Talitha, and of course our very own Mother Glynndie will nuture her, as many other TC Students like myself, onto the path of being proper True Christian mothers and housewives, ready to serve our Godly husbands!

Genesis 2:18 And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.

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Default Re: I'm new! - 10-16-2006, 09:38 PM

Of course, to be a True Christian™ Female one must Honour and respect the Menfolk

Genesis 3:16
Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.

Tell me child, do you hve a Husband yet?
If not, you could post your details in the Singles area.



Sister Talitha

Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.


HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41



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Default Re: I'm new! - 10-16-2006, 10:35 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Snoothie1289 View Post
All women must wear dresses that are below the knee. You are not allowed to wear mixed fabrics. You can't wear any jewlery, it takes away from what you are there for and that is Jesus. All widows are treated wonderfully with tons of love.
You seem to have skipped over my question about head coverings:

I Cor. 11:5-7: But every woman that prayeth or prophesieth with [her] head uncovered dishonoureth her head: for that is even all one as if she were shaven. For if the woman be not covered, let her also be shorn: but if it be a shame for a woman to be shorn or shaven, let her be covered. For a man indeed ought not to cover [his] head, forasmuch as he is the image and glory of God: but the woman is the glory of the man.

Also, treating widows wonderfully with tons of love can be a good thing, but from a Biblical standpoint, it's a gross oversimplification:

I Tim. 5:5-6: Now she that is a widow indeed, and desolate, trusteth in God, and continueth in supplications and prayers night and day. But she that liveth in pleasure is dead while she liveth.

I Tim. 5:9-12: Let not a widow be taken into the number under threescore years old, having been the wife of one man, Well reported of for good works; if she have brought up children, if she have lodged strangers, if she have washed the saints' feet, if she have relieved the afflicted, if she have diligently followed every good work. But the younger widows refuse: for when they have begun to wax wanton against Christ, they will marry; Having damnation, because they have cast off their first faith.

Does your church follow all of the above to the letter?


This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

Questions to ask liberal "Christians"Things that the Bible doesn't sayTolerance

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Default Re: I'm new! - 10-17-2006, 12:03 AM

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Originally Posted by Snoothie1289 View Post
Hey everyone! I'm new here at Landover, the greatest place on earth! I'm 17 so i'm in the high school youth group at the church. I would love to get to know everyone. Let me know if there is anything I can ever do for any of you. Have a wonderful day!
Run... Run for your life child...
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Default Re: I'm new! - 10-17-2006, 12:16 AM

Miss snoothie, please ignore the unsaved trash like Mr. Fishy here. He is a mary-worshipper and a sodomite and not to be trusted.

I'd also like to ask if you have your father's permission to be on God's favorite forum and discussing Jesus.

1 Timothy 2:11-15
Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing.


And by the way, what does "Snoothie" mean?


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: I'm new! - 10-17-2006, 01:15 AM

Having another name so similar to my own scares me -- I fear that I will be mistaken for the ungodly "Fish" at some point (perhaps similar to my own transgression against the dear sweet Petal!)


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Petal is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Petal is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Petal is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Petal is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Petal is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Petal is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Petal is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Petal is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Petal is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Petal is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Petal is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.
Smile Re: I'm new! - 10-17-2006, 06:58 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr.JonTheOnlyFish85 View Post
Having another name so similar to my own scares me -- I fear that I will be mistaken for the ungodly "Fish" at some point
there no needs to worry about that, Mr.JonFish, cuz it never ever gonna happen, you not be puttin your own false christian spins on the bibles an you not gots them weak catlick chins
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Default Re: I'm new! - 10-17-2006, 09:18 AM

Welcome Snoothie. May your path to Salvation™ be long and arduous.


Jesus is watching you masturbate.

Nunquam concumbo dutch puellus intra clunis.

numquam futuis, puer Batavica ad te asinus praesepe
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Snoothie1289 Snoothie1289 is offline
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Default Re: I'm new! - 10-17-2006, 07:50 PM

Thank you everyone for welcoming me. Pastor Zeke, my father died last year but i'm very sure that if he were alive I would have his permission to be here.
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Default Re: I'm new! - 10-17-2006, 08:29 PM

Snooty,

you may find that you need more attention then this site can provide. Please email me and I can help you find happiness....

I can also be a "daddy" figure for you.

SF


I am on the adventure of a lifetime! This is even better than the time I used the plastic stones!
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Snoothie1289 Snoothie1289 is offline
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Default Re: I'm new! - 10-17-2006, 08:34 PM

I almost forgot, Pastor Zeke, Snoothie is a nick name I got in middle school. I really liked smoothies, and this weird kid started calling me smoothie kid, then somo other weird kid changed the spelling and started calling me snoothie. I really don't know what that means.
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Default Re: I'm new! - 10-17-2006, 08:38 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Snoothie1289 View Post
I almost forgot, Pastor Zeke, Snoothie is a nick name I got in middle school. I really liked smoothies, and this weird kid started calling me smoothie kid, then somo other weird kid changed the spelling and started calling me snoothie. I really don't know what that means.
Ignore Star-Finder. God smote him in the stones for being an idiot, and now he hates Christ and is considering becoming a Catholic. Anyway, welcome aboard, young snoothie.

Without wishing to sound too crude... have you sorted out a tithing schedule yet?


O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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