[Pastor William Nathaniel Sampson]

I just caught it about an hour ago. These things can live three or four days without food or water.

Should I just throw it away and let it die slowly? Should I crucify it to let it know our Lord and Savior's pain on the cross thus purifying it? Perhaps I decapitate it quickly and put its head on a pike as a warning to other would be rat invaders.

Do you guys have any suggestions?

[Bobby-Joe]

Rats are animals put here to serve us Pastor. Perhaps you should take it to Sunday school and have the kids execute it so they can understand why Wiccan (as in Green) is wrong.

[Didymus Much]

Originally Posted by Pastor William Nathaniel Sampson

I just caught it about an hour ago. These things can live three or four days without food or water.

Should I just throw it away and let it die slowly? Should I crucify it to let it know our Lord and Savior's pain on the cross thus purifying it? Perhaps I decapitate it quickly and put its head on a pike as a warning to other would be rat invaders.

Do you guys have any suggestions?

If you want it to suffer least, drop a brick on its head. Almost instantaneous, but they may be a LARGE blood "event".

Decapitation isn't so quick. The brain is still intact, and can maintain conciousness for a short while. LBE is also possible.

Easiest for you (and morally defensible, imo) is drowning (bucket or somesuch). Not as quick as the other methods, but harder to screw up.

Personally, I don't like glue traps, as the animal can live for days, as you pointed out. If you have regular rodent problems, a barn cat could be a consideration.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

God gave us the animals to do with as we please. I'd let your kids torture it for awhile.

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Whatever you do, don't sell it. Anyone willing to pay money for a rat is a homer.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Originally Posted by Billy Bob Jenkins

Whatever you do, don't sell it. Anyone willing to pay money for a rat is a homer.

Unless they buy it to feed to their snake.

[Zechariah Smyth]

If you elect to drown it, make sure you have a large bucket or tub. They will try very, very hard to keep from being put in there, and you'd be surprised how strong that tail is.

Don't ask me how I know.



Oh, and stay nearby: they can hold their breath a LOOOOOOONG time.
Posted via Mobile Device

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel

Unless they buy it to feed to their snake.

I admire your optimism. You are always giving people the benefit of the doubt.

Perhaps I am cynical, but I believe anything a homer buys will wind up in his anus eventually.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Originally Posted by Billy Bob Jenkins

I admire your optimism. You are always giving people the benefit of the doubt.

Perhaps I am cynical, but I believe anything a homer buys will wind up in his anus eventually.

Especially rodents.

[Pastor William Nathaniel Sampson]

Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel

God gave us the animals to do with as we please. I'd let your kids torture it for awhile.

Little Zeke already put pushpins through it eyes. It's so hilarious watching it trying to get up still while blinded.

We keep giving it water. We wouldn't want it to die too quickly in this heat, would we?

[Liam the ex-drunk]

Down on the farm we used to catch rats as a sport on Saturday, usually I'd have about 5 in an afternoon and my brothers would have the same number. We caught them in rat cages and then put them into a large ceramic 'Belfast sink' we kept in the bottom field, they couldn't climb up the sides and it was amusing to watch them clamber on top of each other trying to escape.

After a while we'd get bored and pour gas on them and set them alight, the chorus of shrieks and screams always freaked us out, as that what we'd imagine burining in hell would be like.

You could set the rat alight and use it as an example to show your kids what would happen to them in hell if they don't read the KJV, do as you say and praise Jesus. God has a purpose for every animal and if it's not meat, sport or work then the only other way is to be used as an instrument teaching.

[Humongous]

well, sometimes my beloved cats will bring me a dead rat or two and leave it on the trailer steps? No use lettin good meat go to waste. Sometimes them cats will already have the critter gutted, so prep time is a snap! just toss that rat corpse in the boiling pot, and most of the fur will just sluice right off, praise God! then once that rat meat is right boiled, just serve it up with a heaping dollop of mayonnaise and kool whip. good eatin!

yic

[eliot mayfield]

Take it to Sunday School, and let the kids stone it to death. But only let them use small stones so they get their aim right.

[SUV]

It's the harbinger of RA11! Yea, what Man is so blind that he cannot see it?

[Titus Templeton]

I used to put a dead rat into the bed of my daughter. This had a huge influence on her. The days after she was very quiet and did the work she had to do. And if there was something she did wrong i told her:" The next time the rat is alive!"

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Originally Posted by Titus Templeton

I used to put a dead rat into the bed of my daughter. This had a huge influence on her. The days after she was very quiet and did the work she had to do. And if there was something she did wrong i told her:" The next time the rat is alive!"

That reminds me of the time I used medieval rat torture on my ex-wife!

It's great how, now that she has been anonymously stoned to death for her lesbian fornications, I can look back on those times and laugh. It shows how forgiving I am.

Believe me, Freehold is better off now that Ethel is in Hell.

[Nobar King]

Is the rat still alive? I think you should cover it in more glue, or at least wrap another rat glue trap around it before you throw it in the trash.

[Dan U. Holier]

Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel

Unless they buy it to feed to their snake.

Originally Posted by Billy Bob Jenkins

Perhaps I am cynical, but I believe anything a homer buys will wind up in his anus eventually.

I agree. Don't misunderestimate them homers; anything would, finally, end up in his cornhole (including and espacially snakes) - except if some ornamental would buy it, then you'd know where it would end up:



Delicious? Think again.

YiC

Dan

[Liam the ex-drunk]

Doesn't all ornamental food have rat meat of some sort in it? Isn't that why they use all sorts of spices, sauces and curries - to mask the flavour. Yuck!

[John Creeser]

Cut off it's tail and put it under it's mouth, I bet he eats it when he gets hungry.

Oh and give it a nickname....Barrat Obama?