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Reload this Page Still alone, my heart needs a companion
MEET CHRISTIAN SINGLES! Who knows? The love of your life might be here! All the single men are GODLY and all the single ladies are virgins...........for the most part.

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Meek and Humble's Avatar
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Default Still alone, my heart needs a companion - 09-04-2009, 12:52 AM
Another summer withers away, and still my soul has found no mate. I fear that at my age (20) am I nearing spinsterhood. I am but a simple farmer, who loves his God, but I have within my the burning soul of a poet, and a heart craving romance.

I have had my hopes dashed so many times in the past. My heart was stomped on by a certain Canadian witch who shall remain nameless (wicked though she is). I was enamored by her looks, but she would not convert for me.

Then I thought I had found love with a sweet girl from Russia named Bogdana Alkeav, who, although I did not understand a word she spoke, stole my affection. Alas, she stopped waiting for me to save up the money to immigrate here, and has since then sold herself as a mail-order bride.

Is there any woman out there who would like to be married, and soon? I need a beautiful woman to spend my life with.

Lord, I pray you help me find that special someone.
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Default Re: Still alone, my heart needs a companion - 09-04-2009, 01:03 AM
I wish to stop by and say that I will keep you and your search in my prayers. I say that because a Man in such good standing with God deserves a woman to treat him like a man should be and to do has he pleases. I hope you find someone!
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Default Re: Still alone, my heart needs a companion - 09-04-2009, 01:16 AM
My heart goes out to you! I was recently widowed this past Spring and know what life is like without a weight around my neck mate. I would offer myself, but I'm thirty-five with six spawn and still cracking up mourning over my recent loss.
I do hope you find a good Christian wife. If you ever need any marital advice from a woman of experience, PM me and I'll be happy to instruct you in the ways of enticing a female.

YIC
Nurse Clampett

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And Jesus answering said unto them, They that are whole need not a physician; but they that are sick
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Default Re: Still alone, my heart needs a companion - 09-04-2009, 02:29 AM
I'm so sorry Brother Heathen your still alone but so am i so i know how it feels i know i'm not a True Christian yet but whould you be Instersted in Someone Like me to have as your Wife? Because i whould love to Marry a Wonderful True Christian man like you i just love your Poetaster its So beautiful and amazing I know the Lord must be so pround of you and since i'm 19 now i want to Start to make soldiers for Our Great Lord Jesus People say i'm a very good Cook i love to Cook its one of my many Favorite things to do like Read the King James Which is my First favorite thing to do But I'm like you i love Jesus will all my heart I hope you accept my offer God bless you
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Default Re: Still alone, my heart needs a companion - 09-04-2009, 07:29 AM
Brother, I know just the girl for you. Her humble ways and shocking simplicity suggest a woman who would joyfully bake you pies and bear your True Christian™ soldiers. I think it's time for you to do some personal messaging.

Newt

I loved Newt before Newt was invincible
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Default Re: Still alone, my heart needs a companion - 09-04-2009, 07:51 AM
Hmm...If I may offer my advice...

I think the problem is that Brother Heathen_Basher has been pursuing the wrong type of woman. First he lusts after a known wiccan with several psychological disorders. Then some unsaved commie harlot.

Surely, Brother Larry, setting him up with another unsaved girl like Jenni111 would be a recipe for disaster, would it not?

As Brother HB is a True Christian™, I would advise him to only seek a True Christian™ woman to be his baker of pies, bearer of children, keeper of the house, and faithful servant. We must heed the words of the Bible...

2nd Corinthians 6:14 Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?
2nd Corinthians 6:15 And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel?
2nd Corinthians 6:16 And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? for ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people.
2nd Corinthians 6:17 Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you,

It is plainly obvious he must be matched with a True Christian™ woman! But that begs the question, which lady will do the honor of submitting herself unto Brother HB?

No doubt Brother HB is a Godly, strapping young lad. One just has to look at his avatar to realize he is the James Dean of True Christianity™!

Here is the list of potential Future Mrs. Bashers....



Sister Talitha




Sister Virginia D. Templeton




Sister Mary O'Bryan Thorne




Sister JennyD


Watch the #1 Televangelist Gospel Hour in the World! "Turn or Burn: Accept Christ or Go to Hell with Rev. Jim Osborne." Check your local cable listings.
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Default Re: Still alone, my heart needs a companion - 09-04-2009, 08:03 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. Jim Osborne View Post
Hmm...If I may offer my advice...

I think the problem is that Brother Heathen_Basher has been pursuing the wrong type of woman. First he lusts after a known wiccan with several psychological disorders. Then some unsaved commie harlot.

Surely, Brother Larry, setting him up with another unsaved girl like Jenni111 would be a recipe for disaster, would it not?

As Brother HB is a True Christian™, I would advise him to only seek a True Christian™ woman to be his baker of pies, bearer of children, keeper of the house, and faithful servant. We must heed the words of the Bible...

2nd Corinthians 6:14 Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?
2nd Corinthians 6:15 And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel?
2nd Corinthians 6:16 And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? for ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people.
2nd Corinthians 6:17 Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you,

It is plainly obvious he must be matched with a True Christian™ woman! But that begs the question, which lady will do the honor of submitting herself unto Brother HB?

No doubt Brother HB is a Godly, strapping young lad. One just has to look at his avatar to realize he is the James Dean of True Christianity™!

Here is the list of potential Future Mrs. Bashers....



Sister Talitha




Sister Virginia D. Templeton




Sister Mary O'Bryan Thorne




Sister JennyD
I think you are Right about everything Brother Rev.Jim i just wish i was a True Christian Because Brother heathen is the kind of True Christian man i'm Looking for but Oh well but i think Sister Talitha Whould be perfect for him don't you think?
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Default Re: Still alone, my heart needs a companion - 09-04-2009, 08:26 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Heathen_Basher View Post
Another summer withers away, and still my soul has found no mate. I fear that at my age (20) am I nearing spinsterhood. I am but a simple farmer, who loves his God, but I have within my the burning soul of a poet, and a heart craving romance.
STOP THERE!
What's this about being a "simple farmer?"

Before you all start getting carried away with this matchmaking let me remind you all of my position here.
My late husband (God rest his Soul) died very suddenly leaving me to fend for myself. Yes, there may have been several hundred million left to me but that's beside the point.
I now prefer my relationship to be with Jesus.

Brother Basher needs a good strong lady who can work the farm, give him lots of healthy Christian children and cook and clean for him.
Whilst the companionship of a (slightly) younger man is desirable I'm afraid I would have to decline this kind offer. I am far too busy with matters of the Church and partaking in my private Prayer sessions.

However, if Brother Basher ever feels the need to join me in prayer he is more than welcome to come over to my Mansion. My Prayer Closet is more than big enough for two.










.


Sister Talitha

Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.


HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41


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Default Re: Still alone, my heart needs a companion - 09-04-2009, 10:18 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Talitha View Post
STOP THERE!
However, if Brother Basher ever feels the need to join me in prayer he is more than welcome to come over to my Mansion. My Prayer Closet is more than big enough for two. :.
Now now sister, no need for such boasting. We know your prayer closet is a tight squeeze where people get to know each other very well.

Newt

I loved Newt before Newt was invincible
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Default Re: Still alone, my heart needs a companion - 09-04-2009, 01:19 PM
Well, in the mean time, I hope you know that you are a valued member at our Friday Night Young Men's Prayer Circle. You can come anytime.

Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: Still alone, my heart needs a companion - 09-04-2009, 01:22 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss April View Post
I'm so sorry Brother Heathen your still alone but so am i so i know how it feels i know i'm not a True Christian yet but whould you be Instersted in Someone Like me to have as your Wife? Because i whould love to Marry a Wonderful True Christian man like you i just love your Poetaster its So beautiful and amazing I know the Lord must be so pround of you and since i'm 19 now i want to Start to make soldiers for Our Great Lord Jesus People say i'm a very good Cook i love to Cook its one of my many Favorite things to do like Read the King James Which is my First favorite thing to do But I'm like you i love Jesus will all my heart I hope you accept my offer God bless you
Miss April, I am certainly flattered by your interest, and I have always thought you most becoming. Yet I wonder, I have seen you express similar interest to other men on these boards. Still, if you promise you have put such entanglements behind you, I wouldn't mind getting to know you a little better. Would your father be willing to chaperone for us on a date sometime?
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Default Re: Still alone, my heart needs a companion - 09-04-2009, 01:26 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Larry Lee View Post
Brother, I know just the girl for you. Her humble ways and shocking simplicity suggest a woman who would joyfully bake you pies and bear your True Christian™ soldiers. I think it's time for you to do some personal messaging.
A Canadian? I dunno, I've had my heart broken by too many foreign gals already

She is pretty cute though...
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Default Re: Still alone, my heart needs a companion - 09-04-2009, 01:28 PM
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Originally Posted by Rev. Jim Osborne View Post
Hmm...If I may offer my advice...

I think the problem is that Brother Heathen_Basher has been pursuing the wrong type of woman. First he lusts after a known wiccan with several psychological disorders. Then some unsaved commie harlot.

Surely, Brother Larry, setting him up with another unsaved girl like Jenni111 would be a recipe for disaster, would it not?

As Brother HB is a True Christian™, I would advise him to only seek a True Christian™ woman to be his baker of pies, bearer of children, keeper of the house, and faithful servant. We must heed the words of the Bible...

2nd Corinthians 6:14 Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?
2nd Corinthians 6:15 And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel?
2nd Corinthians 6:16 And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? for ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people.
2nd Corinthians 6:17 Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you,

It is plainly obvious he must be matched with a True Christian™ woman! But that begs the question, which lady will do the honor of submitting herself unto Brother HB?

No doubt Brother HB is a Godly, strapping young lad. One just has to look at his avatar to realize he is the James Dean of True Christianity™!

Here is the list of potential Future Mrs. Bashers....



Sister Talitha




Sister Virginia D. Templeton




Sister Mary O'Bryan Thorne




Sister JennyD
Thank you Reverend, but as Sister Talitha just said, she isn't interested. Sister Virginia I believe is married already, though I'm not sure. Sister Mary is, well, I believe past her child-bearing days. And Sister Jenny currently no longer resides in Freehold (hopefully she'll come back soon, though...)
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Default Re: Still alone, my heart needs a companion - 09-04-2009, 01:30 PM
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Originally Posted by Talitha View Post
STOP THERE!
What's this about being a "simple farmer?"

Before you all start getting carried away with this matchmaking let me remind you all of my position here.
My late husband (God rest his Soul) died very suddenly leaving me to fend for myself. Yes, there may have been several hundred million left to me but that's beside the point.
I now prefer my relationship to be with Jesus.

Brother Basher needs a good strong lady who can work the farm, give him lots of healthy Christian children and cook and clean for him.
Whilst the companionship of a (slightly) younger man is desirable I'm afraid I would have to decline this kind offer. I am far too busy with matters of the Church and partaking in my private Prayer sessions.

However, if Brother Basher ever feels the need to join me in prayer he is more than welcome to come over to my Mansion. My Prayer Closet is more than big enough for two.










.
I think I'll take you up on that offer someday soon, Ma'am
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Default Re: Still alone, my heart needs a companion - 09-04-2009, 01:32 PM
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Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
Well, in the mean time, I hope you know that you are a valued member at our Friday Night Young Men's Prayer Circle. You can come anytime.
Pastor, you know I'm always the first one to come.
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Default Re: Still alone, my heart needs a companion - 09-04-2009, 03:09 PM
Brother Heathen, I pray that God finds you a Lady who, will be just perfect for you.
You have obviously been hurt before, and my heart goes out to you.
Good luck in your search Brother, I'm sure it won't be long, before you'll be completely contented.
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Default Re: Still alone, my heart needs a companion - 09-04-2009, 03:44 PM
I appreciate your concern Sister angels. I hope someday I can find a lady as sweet as you...
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Default Re: Still alone, my heart needs a companion - 09-04-2009, 04:44 PM
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Originally Posted by Heathen_Basher View Post
I appreciate your concern Sister angels. I hope someday I can find a lady as sweet as you...

That is very kind of you to say Brother Heathen. Thankyou.

And, I'm sure you will find a lovely lady.

God Bless you.
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Default Re: Still alone, my heart needs a companion - 09-04-2009, 05:06 PM
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Default Re: Still alone, my heart needs a companion - 09-04-2009, 06:08 PM
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Originally Posted by Heathen_Basher View Post
I think I'll take you up on that offer someday soon, Ma'am
I shall make sure there is an opening available for you, Brother.


Sister Talitha

Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.


HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41


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