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Default Silver tithers and up should be required to carry a Trump Knife. - 01-01-2024, 08:26 PM

I was going through my emails (don’t worry Pastor Zeke, it was on hours I wasn’t cleaning your pipes out), I received a message from Donald J Trump personally asking me to buy a Trump Knife or else I won’t be considered a True Patriot ™️. Considering the similarities of Donald J Trump and the biblical stories of Jesus Christ who also overcame constant oppression from unbelievers, how could I not buy one? It says to wait 10-14 weeks for delivery. Should all churchgoers carry one to protect themselves from Lieberals and Demonrats who may try to outlaw Christianity? I nearly blushed and flustered myself when I saw it was over 10 inches long! Pastor Ezekiel’s favorite measurement!!!!Name:  IMG_4099.jpeg
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Default Re: Silver tithers and up should be required to carry a Trump Knife. - 01-01-2024, 10:12 PM

You will cut a dashing figure, Brother Rutherford, wearing you knife sheath and Trump collector's knife. And it will put you in the company of Trump's inner circle of supporters. And think of the safety it will provide. This is an instant collector's item; you will be able to fund your retirement with the knife because it will become so valuable.


Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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Default Re: Silver tithers and up should be required to carry a Trump Knife. - 01-02-2024, 02:23 PM

I would just like to comment on the 10" claim depends on where you measure it from. Authoritative sites consider just the blade itself while self-reported measurements can be all over the place - some even starting from the butt. It appears Donald's measurement includes a portion "unusable" length that could not be inserted in the heat of the moment.


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Default Re: Silver tithers and up should be required to carry a Trump Knife. - 01-26-2024, 06:27 PM

Ho boy. Just got an email from Parler (it’s a place for Christians to support Trump), and I just got an offer for ANOTHER TRUMP KNIFE! This one gets up to eight inches with just a flick! I really wish I had this. Imagine getting bigger with just a flick. Oh Trump is such a genius .
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Default Re: Silver tithers and up should be required to carry a Trump Knife. - 01-26-2024, 10:22 PM

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Originally Posted by Uncle Rutherford View Post
Ho boy. Just got an email from Parler (it’s a place for Christians to support Trump), and I just got an offer for ANOTHER TRUMP KNIFE! This one gets up to eight inches with just a flick! I really wish I had this. Imagine getting bigger with just a flick. Oh Trump is such a genius .
The thing I like about this offer, besides the sale price, are the words, "limited edition." Many people may not know this, but those two words guarantee the knife will become a collector's jewel. Anyone who is privileged enough to get one will profit later.


Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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Default Re: Silver tithers and up should be required to carry a Trump Knife. - 01-27-2024, 01:09 AM

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Originally Posted by Johny Joe Hold View Post
The thing I like about this offer, besides the sale price, are the words, "limited edition." Many people may not know this, but those two words guarantee the knife will become a collector's jewel. Anyone who is privileged enough to get one will profit later.
I was fortunate enough to inherit keepsakes of the 23rd President of the United States, whom one of my ancestors was smart enough to purchase a number of items from, including some knives I imagine. I've yet to receive a sensible offer for this treasure.



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Default Re: Silver tithers and up should be required to carry a Trump Knife. - 01-27-2024, 02:24 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr. Anthony J. Toole View Post
I was fortunate enough to inherit keepsakes of the 23rd President of the United States, whom one of my ancestors was smart enough to purchase a number of items from, including some knives I imagine. I've yet to receive a sensible offer for this treasure.
I have a lot of Nixon memorabilia. It's gone through the roof in value. I've seen a Nixon dinner plate listed at $15.00. It was about $10.00 back when Nixon was President. If you buy and hold items like the Trump knife you will be wealthy.




Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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Default Re: Silver tithers and up should be required to carry a Trump Knife. - 01-27-2024, 01:12 PM

I need a Trump knife. It was only about a month ago that a homeless person approached me outside a grocery store. Protection is important in these trying times.


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Default Re: Silver tithers and up should be required to carry a Trump Knife. - 01-27-2024, 07:06 PM

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I need a Trump knife. It was only about a month ago that a homeless person approached me outside a grocery store. Protection is important in these trying times.
That's right, Mrs. OS. Save America.


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Default Re: Silver tithers and up should be required to carry a Trump Knife. - 01-27-2024, 07:24 PM

In Godless England, the carrying of knives is frowned upon - unless of course you are feral scum or a career criminal. So we have had to settle for nail clippers. It is quite convenient that they come in different sizes, suitable for children of all ages.

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Default Re: Silver tithers and up should be required to carry a Trump Knife. - 01-29-2024, 11:53 PM

A product clearly aimed at the 1%ers and blue-collars alike. A product to unite the USA. Sales are going to be massive! There nothing that says "Responsible, successful, and thoughtful Christian who has weighed the options" better than a triple beveled, razor sharp, 420 Steel, 8" switchblade in Republican red.





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Default Re: Silver tithers and up should be required to carry a Trump Knife. - 01-30-2024, 09:56 AM

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In Godless England, the carrying of knives is frowned upon - unless of course you are feral scum or a career criminal. So we have had to settle for nail clippers. It is quite convenient that they come in different sizes, suitable for children of all ages.
It may be my screen, but this looks like a bronze edition. Surely its available in gold.


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WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Silver tithers and up should be required to carry a Trump Knife. - 02-03-2024, 06:20 PM

My Trump knife saved my life. The other day, I was sitting in the Redding, CA library (I go there sometimes to razor blade out offensive passages from Bible translations other than the KJV) when a large black man walked in, looked at me, and smiled. I brandished my Trump knife, which wiped that evil smile off his face. He quickly turned away from whatever mischief he had planned for me.


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