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Landover to the Rescue - Christian Help Forum A Christian Help Forum led by Sister Daisy Mae Johnson. Warning! Sometimes the Lord's advice is a hard pill to swallow.

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DazDaMan DazDaMan is offline
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Default Question - 10-12-2006, 08:44 AM

Yesterday, Mark and I joined this website, and before 6pm (UK time) you were all for us burning in the fires of Hell for all eternity. Yet, when I looked again last night before I went to my coffin, erm, bed, you were all for us being saved?!

How, exactly, do you want us to be saved? By giving our hard-earned money to your "church"?

Well, tell you what....

Here's five bucks:


Go down to your local WalMart and buy yourselves a clue!
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Enobarbus Enobarbus is offline
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Default Re: Question - 10-12-2006, 10:36 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by DazDaMan View Post
Yesterday, Mark and I joined this website, and before 6pm (UK time) you were all for us burning in the fires of Hell for all eternity. Yet, when I looked again last night before I went to my coffin, erm, bed, you were all for us being saved?!

How, exactly, do you want us to be saved? By giving our hard-earned money to your "church"?

Well, tell you what....

Here's five bucks:


Go down to your local WalMart and buy yourselves a clue!
I am not sure if you are online at the moment -- the thing down below doesn't always tell the truth, but you are close to being banned for being boring and witless.

I have come across absurdly arrogant and ignorant fools in my time, but you and Mark are amongst the most absurd.

I think one of you said that you knew all about ISP banning...

I think you mean IP banning, don't you? An ISP is an Internet Service Provider -- like AOL. Curiously, if necessay, I could take out the whole range of IPs used by your ISP (both your work and home ones, if necessary) but that would still be blocking IP numbers, not banning an ISP.

And next you are going to tell me -- like someone did the other day -- that you have an IP "automiser" and can use public proxies.

Use an anonymiser and public proxies by all means, if you like. It might get you back in once or twice, but would it be worth the effort? Of course a smart chap like yourself will know that most proxies labelled "anonymous" on the Net aren't really anonymous at all, and even when they are you have to take other measures as well to prevent your real IP showing. And it can easily take an hour to find a proxy that works and then it may stop working any time -- usually within a few hours.

Get right with the Lord, sonny. And get with the program or be banished forever into the darkness of cyberspace with the last hope for your Aeternal soul lost.

Fling yourself on your spindly legs and beg the Lord forgiveness, and then get all of your financial papers, credit cards, and any cash you have together and make an appointment to see one of the Pastors to arrange a tithing regimen.

Remember that with the Lord all is possible. Even someone as silly as yourself may not be beyond Salvation©. Although I wonder. I suspect you are damned, I'm afraid.


Revelation 21:8 But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.
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Markypetal Markypetal is offline
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Default Re: Question - 10-12-2006, 11:04 AM

*waves*

Yep I said Isp for a reason, as banning a single Ip address is largely pointless as most people do not pay for their own static line.

And yes I have no dought you could ban us, hmm or at least make it more difficult for us to come back but really is there any need.

Maybe deep down we wish to repent, Or something

Mark
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SalvationSeeker SalvationSeeker is offline
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Default Re: Question - 10-12-2006, 12:40 PM

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Originally Posted by Markypetal View Post
Yep I said Isp for a reason
Yeah, the reason that you're an uneducated sinner who rides the short bus.


If thou be wise, thou shalt be wise for thyself: But if thou scornest, thou alone shalt bear it.
A foolish woman is clamorous: She is simple, and knoweth nothing.
Proverbs 9:12-13
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Markypetal Markypetal is offline
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Default Re: Question - 10-12-2006, 12:46 PM

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Originally Posted by SalvationSeeker View Post
Yeah, the reason that you're an uneducated sinner who rides the short bus.
I'm not going to state I have better qualifications than you, I dont know you and wont judge. But umm yes, ok .


Riding the short bus ? I'm not American I have no idea what you mean, I did once ride a girl that was about the same size as a small bus if that counts ?

Mark
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Markypetal Markypetal is offline
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Default Re: Question - 10-12-2006, 12:47 PM

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Originally Posted by Markypetal View Post
I'm not going to state I have better qualifications than you, I dont know you and wont judge. But umm yes, ok .


Riding the short bus ? I'm not American I have no idea what you mean, I did once ride a girl that was about the same size as a small bus if that counts ?

Mark
Oh yeah, and she was under 18... and we wheren't married

**packs his bags for the trip to hell**

Mark
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Default Re: Question - 10-12-2006, 12:54 PM

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Originally Posted by Markypetal View Post
Oh yeah, and she was under 18... and we wheren't married

**packs his bags for the trip to hell**

Mark
Age doesn't matter that much. (I think Mary was 12 when she gave birth to Jesus.)

Was this girl a virgin, and was she promised?
And if she were a non-promised virgin, did you pay her father 50 shekels of silver?


If thou be wise, thou shalt be wise for thyself: But if thou scornest, thou alone shalt bear it.
A foolish woman is clamorous: She is simple, and knoweth nothing.
Proverbs 9:12-13
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Markypetal Markypetal is offline
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Default Re: Question - 10-12-2006, 12:58 PM

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Originally Posted by SalvationSeeker View Post
Age doesn't matter that much. (I think Mary was 12 when she gave birth to Jesus.)

Was this girl a virgin, and was she promised?
And if she were a non-promised virgin, did you pay her father 50 shekels of silver?
What ?

No she wasn't a virgin, I dont think Well there was no blood on the beadsheets anyway !

Promised/un-promised ? She said "yes" good enough for me.

Her dad ? Why would I tell her dad I slept with his little princess lol, being sneaky is far wiser


Mark


Also no one ansered my question... Was jesus gay ? Becuase he never got laid and died a virgin, Sounds a bit poof like to me

Mark
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SalvationSeeker SalvationSeeker is offline
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Default Re: Question - 10-12-2006, 01:06 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Markypetal View Post
What ?

No she wasn't a virgin, I dont think Well there was no blood on the beadsheets anyway !

Promised/un-promised ? She said "yes" good enough for me.

Her dad ? Why would I tell her dad I slept with his little princess lol, being sneaky is far wiser


Mark


Also no one ansered my question... Was jesus gay ? Becuase he never got laid and died a virgin, Sounds a bit poof like to me

Mark
If a man find a damsel that is a virgin, which is not betrothed, and lay hold on her, and lie with her, and they be found;
Then the man that lay with her shall give unto the damsel's father fifty shekels of silver, and she shall be his wife; because he hath humbled her, he may not put her away all his days.
Deuteronomy 22:28-29

Promised means that she is going to get married to someone, "she has been promised" (by her father most likely).
What a slow sinner you are, the American language isn't your strongest skill is it?
Anyways, if she wasn't married, and not a virgin, nor promised, then you're off the hook for this one..

Yet you have commited other sins so you're still going to hell.


And of course Jesus isn't a homer (like you).
If I was a mod, I would give you a 1000 infraction points for such blasphemy.

REPENT AT ONCE.


If thou be wise, thou shalt be wise for thyself: But if thou scornest, thou alone shalt bear it.
A foolish woman is clamorous: She is simple, and knoweth nothing.
Proverbs 9:12-13
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Talitha Talitha is offline
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Default Re: Question - 10-12-2006, 01:13 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by SalvationSeeker View Post
If I was a mod, I would give you a 1000 infraction points for such blasphemy.

REPENT AT ONCE.
Well, I've lready banned his Pal, so I think he's about to go the same way.

countdown : 3



Sister Talitha

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HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41



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Markypetal Markypetal is offline
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Default Re: Question - 10-12-2006, 01:16 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sister Talitha View Post
Well, I've lready banned his Pal, so I think he's about to go the same way.

countdown : 3
Do you want me to make my new account NOW ? Or shall I change my Ip first


And awww I was having fun on here, I genuinly think I may want to repent and join the landrover lads ! but clearly I am not wanted and un-saveable life can be cruel !

Mark
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SalvationSeeker SalvationSeeker is offline
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Default Re: Question - 10-12-2006, 01:17 PM

ENJOY HELL!


If thou be wise, thou shalt be wise for thyself: But if thou scornest, thou alone shalt bear it.
A foolish woman is clamorous: She is simple, and knoweth nothing.
Proverbs 9:12-13
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Talitha Talitha is offline
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Default Re: Question - 10-12-2006, 01:20 PM

My impersonation of Pastor Al:

GONG!

Banned!!



Sister Talitha

Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.


HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41



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Enobarbus Enobarbus is offline
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Enobarbus has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureEnobarbus has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureEnobarbus has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureEnobarbus has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureEnobarbus has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureEnobarbus has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureEnobarbus has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureEnobarbus has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureEnobarbus has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureEnobarbus has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureEnobarbus has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapture
Default Re: Question - 10-12-2006, 02:30 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sister Talitha View Post
My impersonation of Pastor Al:

GONG!

Banned!!
Looks like one of the Homers has already attempted to sneak back in using the name Sister Pagan. Fortunately, the DOF has given us their details and we should be able to pick them up fairly quickly.


Revelation 21:8 But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.
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