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Default Testicle Eating Fish Likes Homers. - 09-27-2013, 12:58 AM
We Christians see God's work around us every day.

A fish that eats human testicles is swimming around New Jersey. Men who swim nude, like homers love to do, have had their testicles bitten off and bled to death.

While I don't believe in evolution, I have to admit making homer men unable to reproduce is a form of natural selection. It's something God would have done just for fun.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/0...ef=mostpopular

Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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Default Re: Testicle Eating Fish Likes Homers. - 09-27-2013, 03:17 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Johny Joe Hold View Post
We Christians see God's work around us every day.

A fish that eats human testicles is swimming around New Jersey. Men who swim nude, like homers love to do, have had their testicles bitten off and bled to death.

While I don't believe in evolution, I have to admit making homer men unable to reproduce is a form of natural selection. It's something God would have done just for fun.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/0...ef=mostpopular
No wonder God didn't kill any fish during the flood. There were Christians among them. I am thankful that Christ has expressed His will through our aquatic friends.

The face of God moved upon the surface of the waters prior to creation. Perhaps God Himself is this fish. Or a flesh eating algae.

Only a Christian fish would devour a man's testicles, to protect him from sodomy and temptation. No wonder the fish is a universal symbol of Christianity.

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Default Re: Testicle Eating Fish Likes Homers. - 09-27-2013, 03:18 AM
I hope they name it "The Jesus Fish."

Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

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Default Re: Testicle Eating Fish Likes Homers. - 09-27-2013, 03:41 AM
Yet another reason why fish are fantastic creatures. They are far more intelligent than they are given credit for.

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Default Re: Testicle Eating Fish Likes Homers. - 09-28-2013, 02:55 AM
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Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
I hope they name it "The Jesus Fish."
Good one, Pastor Zeke.

In all seriousness, one has to believe this "Jesus Fish" really is an animal carefully designed for its intended target, homer nuts. We need to expand this into a strategy.

First, we raise lots of these fish. Then, we advertise a resort for nude homers.

Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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Default Re: Testicle Eating Fish Likes Homers. - 09-28-2013, 03:08 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Johny Joe Hold View Post
Good one, Pastor Zeke.

In all seriousness, one has to believe this "Jesus Fish" really is an animal carefully designed for its intended target, homer nuts. We need to expand this into a strategy.

First, we raise lots of these fish. Then, we advertise a resort for nude homers.
I'll talk to Brother Bobby Joe and see if we can't get a fish-breeding program going in the town pond.

I've already had our joo lawyers file a patent.

Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: Testicle Eating Fish Likes Homers. - 10-06-2013, 10:57 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Johny Joe Hold View Post
Good one, Pastor Zeke.

In all seriousness, one has to believe this "Jesus Fish" really is an animal carefully designed for its intended target, homer nuts. We need to expand this into a strategy.

First, we raise lots of these fish. Then, we advertise a resort for nude homers.
And then I hope your whole organization gets shut down for murder.....maybe I should not have said that. Don't listen to me, go on and create this resort. It sounds like such a good idea!!!

Psalm 14:1 The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God. They are corrupt, they have done
abominable works, there is none that doeth good.
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Default Re: Testicle Eating Fish Likes Homers. - 10-06-2013, 11:03 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Im a Fool & a Sinner View Post
And then I hope your whole organization gets shut down for murder.....maybe I should not have said that. Don't listen to me, go on and create this resort. It sounds like such a good idea!!!
You did read that this fish eats just one particular organ, right? So where did you get the idea about "murder," exactly? Are you planning something?

God created fossils to test our faith.

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Default Re: Testicle Eating Fish Likes Homers. - 10-08-2013, 01:57 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Im a Fool & a Sinner View Post
And then I hope your whole organization gets shut down for murder.....maybe I should not have said that. Don't listen to me, go on and create this resort. It sounds like such a good idea!!!
Opening a resort where fish eat homer testicals would not be murder, even if advertised as a safe resort.

First of all, it is homers who murder people by spreading AIDS.

Second, accidents happen. No one will tell them they absolutely have to go swimming in the nude with their delicious testicles hanging down and tempting the hungry fish.

Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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