Go Back   The Landover Baptist Church Forum > Church Forums > False Religions and Cults
Reload this Page Proof Atheist scum really believe in Jesus
False Religions and Cults Catholics, Wiccans, Lutherans, Satanists, Mormons, and more!

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
(#1)
Old
Bobby-Joe's Avatar
Bobby-Joe Bobby-Joe is offline
Landover Security Superviser
Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert
NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
True Christian™

One Year/1000 posts Long service medal, 2nd class Saved 1 Year Saved 5 Years True Heterosexual™ True Christian Provider™ award 2008 Witch Hunt Award Real American™ Ex-Mary Worshipper The Lord’s Witness Wound Tagging for Jesus Heaven Bound TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Punched the most queers Ex-Masturbator True Christian Justice of the Peace Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Home Schooled Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth Super Soaker Baptism Award Tell her once Silver Tither Gunfest '07 Christian Love Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Las Vegas Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award True Republican Sons of Liberty Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Prayer Warrior

 
Posts: 18,555
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold Iowa
Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Proof Atheist scum really believe in Jesus - 09-17-2007, 06:06 PM

I have this acquaintance from my Missionary Days in Sin Fransissyco. I’ll call him “Bob L”; he is a secular atheist so in other words a butt banging homer moonbat liberal. Still, my love for Jesus drives me to the hope that Bob L will come to Jesus in time so I correspond with him.

We were discussing how atheists really believe in Jesus deep down inside. Naturally Bob L refused to admit it. I pointed out how he prays to God all the time, for instance when he says “God d---n it!” when stubs his toe.

Bob L wrote me this reply

Quote:
BJ,

Yes, you finally found me out. Now I understand why they made you a supervisor there, off in Iowa.

Here is the prayer I say every morning BJ:

"Oh invisible sky king whom people tell you exist but I think they are yanking my chain.

Well invisible sky king, witness me perform the correct magical ritual so I can ask you not to actively conspire to hurt or torture me. Since the proper ceremony is performed you are now obligated by your own crazy rules to consider me one of your followers and therefore I am protected from your own insane mode swing and sadistic tendencies.

May all suck up to you, you hypersensitive jerk."
Are you satisfied now BJ?
Right there from the horses mouth you have the atheist prayer. Now my brethren we know why Jesus hasn’t smited the atheists; they pray to Him to stop Him from His wrath.

They next time an atheist dirt bag says God doesn’t exist, show them this.



Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

Hot Must ReadThreads!


Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!
Reply With Quote
(#2)
Old
Nobar King's Avatar
Nobar King Nobar King is offline
Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58
Christ's Guardian
True Christian™

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ True Christian Provider™ award Ribfest '07 Christian Love Tin Tither Real American™ Cleanest Kitchen Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award True Christian Hotrodder Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian True Christian Nerd TC Bravery Ex-liberal Ex-Christ-Killer Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Saved 5 Years Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life 20,000 posts Eats the Most Pork True Republican Divorcee Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Early riser Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior Touched by Jesus Grammar Nazi Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off Pastor Ezekiel Cup of Jesus Trump of GOD Donald Trump 2016! Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Mostly on the front porch.
Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Proof Atheist scum really believe in Jesus - 09-17-2007, 06:13 PM

Just like family, just because you love them doesn't mean you have to like them.


May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
Reply With Quote
(#3)
Old
SUV's Avatar
SUV SUV is offline
True Christian™ Princess
The Driving Force behind RA12
Have at it, anytime!

Long service medal, 1st class One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year Ribfest '08 True Christian™ Saved 5 Years Saved 10 Years Best Pie True Christian Lady Real American™ Best stoning bucket Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ready for the Rapture Super Soaker Baptism Award True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Most Obedient Born again virgin Persecuted Christian Love Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas Eats the Most Pork True Republican Princess

 
Posts: 11,024
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: At the Gift Exchange Counter
SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Proof Atheist scum really believe in Jesus - 09-17-2007, 07:46 PM

That's Good News indeed, Brother-Pastor Bobby-Joe!

And here I'd thought all they really Believed in were others of their own "Religion": other athian scum.
Reply With Quote
(#4)
Old
Bobby-Joe's Avatar
Bobby-Joe Bobby-Joe is offline
Landover Security Superviser
Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert
NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
True Christian™

One Year/1000 posts Long service medal, 2nd class Saved 1 Year Saved 5 Years True Heterosexual™ True Christian Provider™ award 2008 Witch Hunt Award Real American™ Ex-Mary Worshipper The Lord’s Witness Wound Tagging for Jesus Heaven Bound TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Punched the most queers Ex-Masturbator True Christian Justice of the Peace Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Home Schooled Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth Super Soaker Baptism Award Tell her once Silver Tither Gunfest '07 Christian Love Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Las Vegas Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award True Republican Sons of Liberty Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Prayer Warrior

 
Posts: 18,555
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold Iowa
Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Proof Atheist scum really believe in Jesus - 09-17-2007, 08:01 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by SUV View Post
That's Good News indeed, Brother-Pastor Bobby-Joe!

And here I'd thought all they really Believed in were others of their own "Religion": other athian scum.
Well until Jesus guided this Bob L character to send this Divine Revelation I too thought the same thing about atheists dirtbags. Sister Sue. I figured with an atheist “believe” has the same meaning as “biblical knowledge”. So when Bob L told me once “I believe in my mother, but I do not believe in your God” I thought the meaning was obvious enough.

While this does show the Power of Faith in action I may owe Bob L an apology.



Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

Hot Must ReadThreads!


Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!
Reply With Quote
(#5)
Old
Blind leading the blind's Avatar
Blind leading the blind (On Moderation) Blind leading the blind is offline
Unsaved Trash
Filthy demon-possessed minion of Satan
using different names.
Aka: AncientFireRisen, etc, put on moderation
at first sign of demons manifesting themselves
Foul Sinner on Moderation
 
Posts: 240
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: classified....and away from Kira
Blind leading the blind is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Blind leading the blind is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Blind leading the blind is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Blind leading the blind is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Blind leading the blind is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Blind leading the blind is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Blind leading the blind is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Blind leading the blind is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Re: Proof Atheist scum really believe in Jesus - 09-18-2007, 10:59 PM

That "prayer" most likely was written down in sarcasm, Bobby Joe. Just thought I'd point that out.
Reply With Quote
(#6)
Old
Bobby-Joe's Avatar
Bobby-Joe Bobby-Joe is offline
Landover Security Superviser
Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert
NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
True Christian™

One Year/1000 posts Long service medal, 2nd class Saved 1 Year Saved 5 Years True Heterosexual™ True Christian Provider™ award 2008 Witch Hunt Award Real American™ Ex-Mary Worshipper The Lord’s Witness Wound Tagging for Jesus Heaven Bound TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Punched the most queers Ex-Masturbator True Christian Justice of the Peace Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Home Schooled Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth Super Soaker Baptism Award Tell her once Silver Tither Gunfest '07 Christian Love Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Las Vegas Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award True Republican Sons of Liberty Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Prayer Warrior

 
Posts: 18,555
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold Iowa
Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Proof Atheist scum really believe in Jesus - 09-19-2007, 02:16 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Blind leading the blind View Post
That "prayer" most likely was written down in sarcasm, Bobby Joe. Just thought I'd point that out.
Well that is obvious enough. I mean leave to an atheist pray to Jesus in a sarcastic tone.



Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

Hot Must ReadThreads!


Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!
Reply With Quote
(#7)
Old
Captain James T. Kirk's Avatar
Captain James T. Kirk Captain James T. Kirk is offline
Boldly exploring his parents' basement - Unsaved trash
 

Atheist

 
Posts: 156
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: On the bridge of the Enterprise!
Captain James T. Kirk is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Captain James T. Kirk is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Captain James T. Kirk is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Captain James T. Kirk is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Captain James T. Kirk is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Captain James T. Kirk is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Re: Proof Atheist scum really believe in Jesus - 09-22-2007, 05:38 PM

LOL! When I stub my toe, I shout "By the Hammer of Thor!" It's all a matter of conditioning!
Reply With Quote
(#8)
Old
Bobby-Joe's Avatar
Bobby-Joe Bobby-Joe is offline
Landover Security Superviser
Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert
NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
True Christian™

One Year/1000 posts Long service medal, 2nd class Saved 1 Year Saved 5 Years True Heterosexual™ True Christian Provider™ award 2008 Witch Hunt Award Real American™ Ex-Mary Worshipper The Lord’s Witness Wound Tagging for Jesus Heaven Bound TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Punched the most queers Ex-Masturbator True Christian Justice of the Peace Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Home Schooled Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth Super Soaker Baptism Award Tell her once Silver Tither Gunfest '07 Christian Love Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Las Vegas Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award True Republican Sons of Liberty Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Prayer Warrior

 
Posts: 18,555
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold Iowa
Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Proof Atheist scum really believe in Jesus - 09-22-2007, 10:49 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Captain James T. Kirk View Post
LOL! When I stub my toe, I shout "By the Hammer of Thor!" It's all a matter of conditioning!
I thought it was "By Grabthar's hammer" with you Trekies.



Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

Hot Must ReadThreads!


Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!
Reply With Quote
(#9)
Old
Wash O'Hanley's Avatar
Wash O'Hanley Wash O'Hanley is offline
Debate Moderator (and participant)
Master Debater-- Has Never Been Defeated in a Debate
Louder Than Reason
True Christian™

True Christian™ Saved 1 Year Fairest and most balanced broadcaster Saved 5 Years Real American™ Gold Tither Publisher's Choice TC Bravery Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth Persecuted Pro-Life True Republican

 
Posts: 2,139
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Wash O'Hanley will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wash O'Hanley will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wash O'Hanley will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wash O'Hanley will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wash O'Hanley will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wash O'Hanley will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wash O'Hanley will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wash O'Hanley will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wash O'Hanley will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wash O'Hanley will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wash O'Hanley will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Proof Atheist scum really believe in Jesus - 09-22-2007, 10:54 PM

It is impossible to not believe in God- just look at all the abundant evidence that he has given to prove that he exists (if God doesn't exist who wrote the Bible?!?!). Atheists just choose to not believe in God to anger him and their family/society.
Reply With Quote
(#10)
Old
Captain James T. Kirk's Avatar
Captain James T. Kirk Captain James T. Kirk is offline
Boldly exploring his parents' basement - Unsaved trash
 

Atheist

 
Posts: 156
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: On the bridge of the Enterprise!
Captain James T. Kirk is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Captain James T. Kirk is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Captain James T. Kirk is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Captain James T. Kirk is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Captain James T. Kirk is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Captain James T. Kirk is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Re: Proof Atheist scum really believe in Jesus - 09-25-2007, 12:24 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe View Post
I thought it was "By Grabthar's hammer" with you Trekies.
LOL! No, Trekkies shout "Dor-sho-gha!" or "ghuy'cha'!"

Trekkers just talk like normal people, not that Bible thumpers would know what that's like.
Reply With Quote
(#11)
Old
Pastor Al E Pistle's Avatar
Pastor Al E Pistle Pastor Al E Pistle is offline
Christ's Cōnsiliārius
 
 
Posts: 9,311
Join Date: Sep 2006
Pastor Al E Pistle has disabled reputation
Default Re: Proof Atheist scum really believe in Jesus - 09-25-2007, 11:28 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Captain James T. Kirk View Post
LOL! No, Trekkies shout "Dor-sho-gha!" or "ghuy'cha'!"
Trekkers just talk like normal people,
There is no reason to comment on this. It is self-explanatory.


Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


Reply With Quote
(#12)
Old
Poetic Peter's Avatar
Poetic Peter Poetic Peter is offline
Christian Poet Emeritus
Forum Member

True Heterosexual™ Christian Love The Lord’s Witness Wound Protected by JESUS Ready for the Rapture

 
Posts: 1,694
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Near to Him
Poetic Peter has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RapturePoetic Peter has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RapturePoetic Peter has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RapturePoetic Peter has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RapturePoetic Peter has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RapturePoetic Peter has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RapturePoetic Peter has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RapturePoetic Peter has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RapturePoetic Peter has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RapturePoetic Peter has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RapturePoetic Peter has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapture
Default Re: Proof Atheist scum really believe in Jesus - 10-18-2007, 05:19 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nobar King View Post
Just like family, just because you love them doesn't mean you have to like them.
That is so poetically deep, I just had to give you some rep points.

Thank you for such thought,
from your new pal PP
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Tags
atheists: vain godless scum, secret theists

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Find Additional Forums Here



Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved