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Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 9,984
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: San Francisco, California
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Re: Eating Corn on the Cob is Training for Oral Sex! -
01-12-2012, 04:07 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel
What's that on your face? Are you some kind of squaw?
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I believe the facial markings are a way of showing allegiance to Dahvie Vanity, noted statutory rapist and lead singer of Blood on the Dance Floor.
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Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
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Posts: 21
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: California
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Re: Eating Corn on the Cob is Training for Oral Sex! -
01-12-2012, 04:16 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Faith_Machine
I believe the facial markings are a way of showing allegiance to Dahvie Vanity, noted statutory rapist and lead singer of Blood on the Dance Floor.
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Not mine... (ma'am? sir?) I don't even know who that is...
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Director of European Evangelical Outreach A Shining Example of Christ's Love Quite possibly the only decent, heterosexual human being in the whole of Europe
True Christian™
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Posts: 18,677
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: A frictional country
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Re: Eating Corn on the Cob is Training for Oral Sex! -
01-12-2012, 09:49 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by beachshells
It says "no h8" for an awareness day about hatred.
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Ah. " No height". I didn't know dwarfs needed to be made aware about their hate (towards God), but I guess it shouldn't surprise me.
Psalm 81:10:
I am the LORD thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt:
open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it.
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Forum Member, Repenting an inch at a time
Forum Member
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Posts: 131
Join Date: May 2011
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Re: Eating Corn on the Cob is Training for Oral Sex! -
01-12-2012, 10:07 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wide-Open
Ah. " No height". I didn't know dwarfs needed to be made aware about their hate (towards God), but I guess it shouldn't surprise me.
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Wide Open, Jesus loves all of us including those who of us who choose 2 live the dwarf lifestile, i no i was "born this way" like the lady gagag said but what can i do? i prey and prey and then evry morning i wake up and i still have these feelings, yernings, that i am a midget and i look in the mirrer and i see that i still am a dwarf, but i no that if i choose not to live this way and REPENT in my hart then GOD will NO that I do NOT want to continue to be a midget and HE will enter my hart and I will stop chosing to be a dwarf and be instantly changed into a non-dwarf, priase jeus.
meanwhile, not to high jack this thred i will post a rilly good recipee for corn that u can eat without looking like u r at a audition for a porno, take 1 (15 1/4-ounce) can whole kernel corn, drained and then 1 (14 3/4-ounce) can cream-style corn and get 1 (8-ounce) package corn muffin mix (recommended: Jiffy) + 1 cup sour cream + 1/2 cup (1 stick) butter, melted + 1 to 1 1/2 cups shredded Cheddar.
then what u do is get your oven to 350 degrees F. and then mix the corn in a bowl then add bascially add all the other stuff but not the cheese and then put this glob in a greased caseroll dish and bake it for about 45 minutes then put on the cheese and let it melt all over it. DEEELISHIS and may god richly bless u.
Paying for the sins of my hateful parents since pre-birth. Jeremiah 32:18. Now cooking for Jesus as inspired by Deuteronomy 8:3.
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Director of European Evangelical Outreach A Shining Example of Christ's Love Quite possibly the only decent, heterosexual human being in the whole of Europe
True Christian™
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Posts: 18,677
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: A frictional country
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Re: Eating Corn on the Cob is Training for Oral Sex! -
01-12-2012, 10:18 AM
Hi Midge - can I call you Midge?
I hear what you are saying.
It's good that you want to REPENT, but I'm afraid you are making a mistake. You seem to want to repent to get something in return - aka asking The Baby Jesus to relieve you from your dwarfness.
Alas, that's not how it works. The fact that I was 6'7" before I repented should make that clear.
I think you just need to grow up Midge.
Psalm 81:10:
I am the LORD thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt:
open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it.
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Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 9,984
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: San Francisco, California
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Re: Eating Corn on the Cob is Training for Oral Sex! -
01-12-2012, 10:29 AM
Midge, thank you for that wonderful recipe!
I just hope you're not planning to offer us any bread!
Quote:
Leviticus 21:17-21
17Speak unto Aaron, saying, Whosoever he be of thy seed in their generations that hath any blemish, let him not approach to offer the bread of his God.
18For whatsoever man he be that hath a blemish, he shall not approach: a blind man, or a lame, or he that hath a flat nose, or any thing superfluous,
19Or a man that is brokenfooted, or brokenhanded,
20Or crookbackt, or a dwarf, or that hath a blemish in his eye, or be scurvy, or scabbed, or hath his stones broken;
21No man that hath a blemish of the seed of Aaron the priest shall come nigh to offer the offerings of the LORD made by fire: he hath a blemish; he shall not come nigh to offer the bread of his God.
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In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
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Forum Member, Repenting an inch at a time
Forum Member
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Posts: 131
Join Date: May 2011
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Re: Eating Corn on the Cob is Training for Oral Sex! -
01-12-2012, 10:47 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wide-Open
Hi Midge - can I call you Midge?
I hear what you are saying.
It's good that you want to REPENT, but I'm afraid you are making a mistake. You seem to want to repent to get something in return - aka asking The Baby Jesus to relieve you from your dwarfness.
Alas, that's not how it works. The fact that I was 6'7" before I repented should make that clear.
I think you just need to grow up Midge.
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wide open, i try so hard to get rid of my dwarfness i even went to the website Daily Prayer and i preyed this evry day but i changed homosex to midget but so far it aint workin.
Father, in the Precious Name of Your Son Jesus, I come, first of all with a heart of thanksgiving, for the sacrifices you made at Calvary for us all. It is because of your living, your suffering, your dying and your resurrection that we are able to claim redemption today. Father, I want to thank you for the awesome change you have wrought in MY life. How you allowed me to survive while I was trapped under the deception of MIDGETuality, that it even resembled ‘life’. Lord, thank you for how you protected me all those years, for how you provided for me and healed my body even though I was so lost. Thank you, Lord, for how you loved me anyway and how you NEVER let me out of your site. And most of all, Lord, I thank you for how you spoke to my heart one [INSERT DAY OF WEEK] morning and called me to come out from among them, to begin this joyous journey of your tremendous salvation. Thank you Jesus! Thank you for your gifts and for this ministry to teach and to love those who, like I once did, walk outside of your will with regard to MIDGETuality. Thank you for choosing me to share the truth of your rewards of eternal life through your son, Jesus, but also to warn about the consequences of rejecting the truth of your Word and your divine order.
faith machine i no i am a sinner and i would get on my nees and prey but it seemed redundant in my case, is strawberry shortcake ok, because my brother tought me how to make it on his cooking show, ehere is the video.
Paying for the sins of my hateful parents since pre-birth. Jeremiah 32:18. Now cooking for Jesus as inspired by Deuteronomy 8:3.
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Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 9,984
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: San Francisco, California
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Re: Eating Corn on the Cob is Training for Oral Sex! -
01-12-2012, 12:05 PM
Strawberry shortcake? Hmmm...
I guess that's not bread, so it should probably be fine!
WARNING:
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Helping boys become upright model citizens
True Christian™
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Posts: 1,293
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Columbus, Ohio
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Re: Eating Corn on the Cob is Training for Oral Sex! -
01-12-2012, 12:06 PM
Midge, nothing is more unappetizing than watching a midget cook. That and I am off carbs this week.
Back to corn: I think corn is actually proof that the Bible is real. After all, this grain was not known to the Western world until after God guided Europeans to America and presented them with ready-made fields with new foods, such as tomatoes, and, yes, corn. But corn was already mentioned by God in the Bible more than 3000 years ago!! Genesis 27:28 and Genesis 27:37 are examples.
God knows all, sees all, and predicts all.
And Midge, please, no more recipes that have to be cooked in this:
"Come Unto Me. Put forth thine hand now, and touch all that he hath." (Matthew 19:14, Job 1:11).
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Former Mary Hailer who has seen The Light©
True Christian™
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Posts: 10,391
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Surrounded By Married Homos and Baby Killers in Godless England
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Re: Eating Corn on the Cob is Training for Oral Sex! -
01-12-2012, 01:17 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fencepost88
Maybe you guys are starting to rub off on me
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I'm getting really fed up with the coded gay seductions of these unsaved trash now!
Father give me the discernment to recognise temptation to sodomy when I see it so I can rebuke it.
I know I have the will to resist the anal demons because of your grace and guiding scripture.
Deliver me from ever having to fight off anal rape and the AIDS.
Keep the sodomists away from me when I sleep.
In your glory and wonder, I live.
Amen.
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Unsaved trash, dumber than a....
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Posts: 95
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Godless England
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Re: Eating Corn on the Cob is Training for Oral Sex! -
01-12-2012, 10:00 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Redeemed Papist
I'm getting really fed up with the coded gay seductions of these unsaved trash now! Father give me the discernment to recognise temptation to sodomy when I see it so I can rebuke it.
I know I have the will to resist the anal demons because of your grace and guiding scripture.
Deliver me from ever having to fight off anal rape and the AIDS.
Keep the sodomists away from me when I sleep.
In your glory and wonder, I live.
Amen.
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If you think that was a coded gay seduction then I suggest the problem is with you.
It's a manner of speech.
what is it you say?
Quote:
There you go interpreting and filtering with your opinion again!
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For those who pretend to know the will of God- Romans 1:21-23 Because that, when they knew God, they glorified him not as God, neither were thankful; but became vain in their imaginations, and their foolish heart was darkened. Professing themselves to be wise, they became fools, And changed the glory of the uncorruptible God into an image made like to corruptible man, and to birds, and fourfooted beasts, and creeping things.
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Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 9,984
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: San Francisco, California
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Re: Eating Corn on the Cob is Training for Oral Sex! -
01-12-2012, 10:22 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fencepost88
If you think that was a coded gay seduction then I suggest the problem is with you.
It's a manner of speech.
what is it you say?
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Listen, you little tulip, I'm going to make a deal with you:
You refrain from sassing back when a True Christian™ speaks to you, and I'll try to refrain from laughing when Jesus casts you into Hell.
Do we have a deal?
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Unsaved trash, dumber than a....
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Posts: 95
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Godless England
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Re: Eating Corn on the Cob is Training for Oral Sex! -
01-12-2012, 10:33 PM
bit of an unfair deal if I have to do something and you only have to try.
when I get thrown into hell feel free to laugh, might give me a sense of purpose knowing my misery provides entertainment for those of greater purity than myself.
For those who pretend to know the will of God- Romans 1:21-23 Because that, when they knew God, they glorified him not as God, neither were thankful; but became vain in their imaginations, and their foolish heart was darkened. Professing themselves to be wise, they became fools, And changed the glory of the uncorruptible God into an image made like to corruptible man, and to birds, and fourfooted beasts, and creeping things.
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Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 9,984
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: San Francisco, California
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Re: Eating Corn on the Cob is Training for Oral Sex! -
01-13-2012, 01:42 AM
Instead of trying to bargain with us, why don't you accept Jesus Christ as your personal savior and get baptized? Then you'll be free!
WARNING:
In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
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Unsaved trash, dumber than a....
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Posts: 95
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Godless England
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Re: Eating Corn on the Cob is Training for Oral Sex! -
01-13-2012, 01:56 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Faith_Machine
Instead of trying to bargain with us, why don't you accept Jesus Christ as your personal savior and get baptized? Then you'll be free!
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You were the one who tried to bargain with me. I was baptized. Still reading the bible, think I'll wait till I get to the end to decide whether I'm saved or not.
For those who pretend to know the will of God- Romans 1:21-23 Because that, when they knew God, they glorified him not as God, neither were thankful; but became vain in their imaginations, and their foolish heart was darkened. Professing themselves to be wise, they became fools, And changed the glory of the uncorruptible God into an image made like to corruptible man, and to birds, and fourfooted beasts, and creeping things.
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Outdoorsman, Hunter, Fisherman, Husband, True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 1,565
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Freehold
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Re: Eating Corn on the Cob is Training for Oral Sex! -
01-13-2012, 02:21 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fencepost88
You were the one who tried to bargain with me. I was baptized. Still reading the bible, think I'll wait till I get to the end to decide whether I'm saved or not.
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You haven't read the entire Bible and somebody Baptized you ? What kind of church did that?
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Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 9,984
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: San Francisco, California
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Re: Eating Corn on the Cob is Training for Oral Sex! -
01-13-2012, 02:33 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fencepost88
You were the one who tried to bargain with me. I was baptized. Still reading the bible, think I'll wait till I get to the end to decide whether I'm saved or not.
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Please stop trying to confuse the issue. Your salvation is not something you can haggle about. God is not a horse trader, and this Web site is not a bazaar in some Arab country!
You don't bargain with the Lord, you give Him everything you have!
WARNING:
In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.
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Unsaved trash, dumber than a....
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Posts: 95
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Godless England
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Re: Eating Corn on the Cob is Training for Oral Sex! -
01-13-2012, 02:49 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Faith_Machine
Please stop trying to confuse the issue. Your salvation is not something you can haggle about. God is not a horse trader, and this Web site is not a bazaar in some Arab country!
You don't bargain with the Lord, you give Him everything you have!
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your faith in God is based on the fear of hell, you bargain with him every day in attempt to get into heaven.
For those who pretend to know the will of God- Romans 1:21-23 Because that, when they knew God, they glorified him not as God, neither were thankful; but became vain in their imaginations, and their foolish heart was darkened. Professing themselves to be wise, they became fools, And changed the glory of the uncorruptible God into an image made like to corruptible man, and to birds, and fourfooted beasts, and creeping things.
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Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 9,984
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: San Francisco, California
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Re: Eating Corn on the Cob is Training for Oral Sex! -
01-13-2012, 02:57 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fencepost88
your faith in God is based on the fear of hell, you bargain with him every day in attempt to get into heaven.
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No, friend, my faith in God is based on the Bible!
WARNING:
In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.
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Unsaved Trash, Rabid godmocker
Under Investigation
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Posts: 1
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: In bed with my fag boyfriend
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Re: Eating Corn on the Cob is Training for Oral Sex! -
01-13-2012, 02:58 AM
Excuse me, but I don't quite understand how the eating of corn is training for oral sex. 1) Excuse the ungodly thoughts, but I don't thing it would be very pleasurable to have your... member gnawed on as is done with corn. 2) In no way do I see corn as anything that would represent any part of a man, and since, as far as I know (excuse my ignorance if I am wrong), I have seen no scripture in the bible stating that God plants thoughts in your mind, he just gives you the capacity to think, and also, if God does indeed plant thoughts in your mind, it would stand to reason that he would also plant thoughts in the minds of women, as Eve came from Adam and therefore was once part of Adam.
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