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flag Re: What are you offended by right now? - 03-25-2015, 04:54 AM

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Originally Posted by Impala 67 View Post
Football and sport in general.

Only stupid ungodly people think Football are played with there hands.
The only reason for sport is to shower together and that can't be good for anyone.
In former times only Mostlems took a bath and see where it got them.
True holymen never had contact with water on there body.

JHL
Filth on Earth can never be washed away without Christ.
I am offended by your Godless nation!

But don't fear, eventually it will become a suburb of the Christian Empire when Jeb Bush annexes the rest of the world and forces conversion at gunpoint in '16. On that day, I will call you Brother!
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Default Re: What are you offended by right now? - 03-25-2015, 02:05 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Witch Hammer View Post
I am offended by your Godless nation!

But don't fear, eventually it will become a suburb of the Christian Empire when Jeb Bush annexes the rest of the world and forces conversion at gunpoint in '16. On that day, I will call you Brother!
I can't imagine why you call us Godless; We have all the Nordic Gods and then some. But our true Lord is Jesus.
Dont confuse us Danes with the Swedish people we all know are the spawn of Antichrist.

JHL.
My sheeps are ripe for slaughter in the name of God.


A whip for the horse, a bridle for the ass, and a rod for the fool's back. Proverbs 26:3
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Default Re: What are you offended by right now? - 04-03-2015, 02:38 AM

For a year or so, I've been frequently traveling through my beautiful state of Michigan. During my trips, I usually listen to audio Bible read by our own Pastor Ezekiel , but sometimes I also tune in to one of the 1001 NPR stations - just to know what the enemy is buzzing about. Now, I am offended by an old woman, named Diane Rehm, who hosts a talk show just at the time I'm usually driving. This woman should retire or die already, her voice is slow and shaky, and just the sound of it puts me to sleep. Nothing wrong with that - when I fell asleep, Jesus takes the wheel - but think of all the heathen drivers on the road, who don't have Jesus as their designated driver. This old woman is going to cause some serious accidents!
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Default Re: What are you offended by right now? - 04-03-2015, 03:54 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Basilissa View Post
For a year or so, I've been frequently traveling through my beautiful state of Michigan. During my trips, I usually listen to audio Bible read by our own Pastor Ezekiel , but sometimes I also tune in to one of the 1001 NPR stations - just to know what the enemy is buzzing about. Now, I am offended by an old woman, named Diane Rehm, who hosts a talk show just at the time I'm usually driving. This woman should retire or die already, her voice is slow and shaky, and just the sound of it puts me to sleep. Nothing wrong with that - when I fell asleep, Jesus takes the wheel - but think of all the heathen drivers on the road, who don't have Jesus as their designated driver. This old woman is going to cause some serious accidents!
Jesus has become upset with the tedious, tiresome and whining of her LIEbrual biases and has given her a warning - Spasmodic Dysphonia.

NPR's Diane Rehm and Spasmodic Dysphonia



Hell's foundations quiver at the shout of praise;
brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
...and get off my lawn
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Default Re: What are you offended by right now? - 04-03-2015, 04:07 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by WilliamJenningsBryan View Post
Jesus has become upset with the tedious, tiresome and whining of her LIEbrual biases and has given her a warning - Spasmodic Dysphonia.
I am offended by spastics of every sort, since they are all mooching off the system, which feeds the big government coffers and puts power into the hands of mega-rich old money liberals. I pray that Diane Rehm finds Jesus so that we won't have to listen to her garbled rhetoric praising Obama and fascist community activist groups.


The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!
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Default Re: What are you offended by right now? - 04-04-2015, 12:18 AM

Scrying is offensive to me !!

Scrying, also known as crystal gazing or crystallomancy, allows one to see psychic visions or impressions in a particular medium, such as a crystal ball or polished black surface such as black obsidian or golden obsidian or a scrying mirror. Scrying is a powerful psychic tool. It can bring hidden knowledge and clairvoyant ability and can act as a portal to other planes of existence.
Scrying is the art of gazing into or upon a crystal (or a dark mirror-like surface such as polished obsidian), allowing the physical eyes to relax, and letting the inner psychic eyes open to receive desired visions or information. Scrying tools allow one to achieve the state of mind required for entering trance, acting as a focal point for visualization, which can become a doorway into the astral plane. Scrying allows communication with higher realms, the subconscious self, and access to Akashic Record (which contains the record of the soul, and information about All That Is, All That Has Been, and All That Will Be). Accessing the Akashic Record can offer a vast source of timeless knowledge.


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Thumbs down Re: What are you offended by right now? - 04-05-2015, 01:46 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Miguel De Morillo View Post
Scrying is offensive to me !!

Scrying, also known as crystal gazing or crystallomancy, allows one to see psychic visions or impressions in a particular medium, such as a crystal ball or polished black surface such as black obsidian or golden obsidian or a scrying mirror. Scrying is a powerful psychic tool. It can bring hidden knowledge and clairvoyant ability and can act as a portal to other planes of existence.
Scrying is the art of gazing into or upon a crystal (or a dark mirror-like surface such as polished obsidian), allowing the physical eyes to relax, and letting the inner psychic eyes open to receive desired visions or information. Scrying tools allow one to achieve the state of mind required for entering trance, acting as a focal point for visualization, which can become a doorway into the astral plane. Scrying allows communication with higher realms, the subconscious self, and access to Akashic Record (which contains the record of the soul, and information about All That Is, All That Has Been, and All That Will Be). Accessing the Akashic Record can offer a vast source of timeless knowledge.
You seem to be very well versed in the demonic art of scrying....Warlock!
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Default Re: What are you offended by right now? - 04-05-2015, 01:51 AM

I suppose this is the time period to be offended by... drum-roll please... so-called Christians.

It is pretty offensive in general how these liberal wackos keep pretending to follow our Lord, Jesus Christ, and yet blatantly ignore almost everything that God has taught us.

It's just a bit hard to digest right now. Praying does help of course, but it still makes me sick to my stomach. Normally they are fluffy-bunny Christians, but now they are, quite literally, Easter-bunny Christians.

Excuse me while I throw up.


I take my orders from Jesus H. Christ, supernatural born US citizen

Be wary of false Kumbaya Christians who use a highlighter and scissors to read the Bible. God wants us to read the lines, not between the lines. False Christians will go to Hell:
Matthew 7:22
Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works?
Matthew 7:23 And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.

Asking a Christian to prove God exists is like asking him to prove his phone rings because yours doesn't. Make that call yourself! Dial 0800-get-on-your-knees-and-pray.
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Default Re: What are you offended by right now? - 04-05-2015, 02:43 AM

Like the so-called Christians who combine Jesus with Yoga to prepare for Easter?


Body In Prayer

Quote:
Body in Prayer is a multi-sensory so-called Christian Meditation on the Stations of the Cross using Yoga Positions.





Are you KIDDING me?!?


Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Default Re: What are you offended by right now? - 04-05-2015, 03:19 AM


The Savior™ looks like He's hunkering down to take a violent, unseemly crap!

As offensive as this scene is, it heartens me know that Jesus will laugh last...and best!
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Default Re: What are you offended by right now? - 04-05-2015, 08:55 AM

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Originally Posted by Witch Hammer View Post
The Savior™ looks like He's hunkering down to take a violent, unseemly crap!

As offensive as this scene is, it heartens me know that Jesus will laugh last...and best!
Quite possibly the case. Better to have a crap before you get on the cross, than when you're on it.


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Default Re: What are you offended by right now? - 04-05-2015, 04:40 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jim Farmer View Post
Quite possibly the case. Better to have a crap before you get on the cross, than when you're on it.
But Jesus was sinless.


Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Default Re: What are you offended by right now? - 04-05-2015, 09:35 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mary Etheldreda View Post
But Jesus was sinless.
Precisely why I developed this Theorum, Sister, to factor the repellent (and blasphemous!) notion of "deifaecation" from the equation.
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Default Re: What are you offended by right now? - 04-06-2015, 09:34 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Miguel De Morillo View Post
Scrying is offensive to me !!

Scrying, also known as crystal gazing or crystallomancy, allows one to see psychic visions or impressions in a particular medium, such as a crystal ball or polished black surface such as black obsidian or golden obsidian or a scrying mirror. Scrying is a powerful psychic tool. It can bring hidden knowledge and clairvoyant ability and can act as a portal to other planes of existence.
Scrying is the art of gazing into or upon a crystal (or a dark mirror-like surface such as polished obsidian), allowing the physical eyes to relax, and letting the
inner psychic eyes open to receive desired visions or information. Scrying tools allow one to achieve the state of mind required for entering trance, acting as a focal point for visualization, which can become a doorway into the astral plane. Scrying allows communication with higher realms, the subconscious self, and access to Akashic Record (which contains the record of the soul, and information about All That Is, All That Has Been, and All That Will Be). Accessing the Akashic Record can offer a vast source of timeless knowledge.
. What is inner psychic eyes ..?
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Default Re: What are you offended by right now? - 05-09-2015, 04:53 PM

One of the biggest things that offends me is having a restaurant that is being run by a sinful negro! Has anyone ever run across a Popeye's ad on the television? What on earth has this world come to?! Shouldn't people like that piece of garbage selling that chicken be on some plantation still? Just thought I would ask!
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Default Re: What are you offended by right now? - 06-07-2015, 12:20 AM

How humanity has changed in the past decade or so ... Want any details?
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Default Re: What are you offended by right now? - 06-07-2015, 03:05 AM

People who think the True Christians™ would be interested in their anonymous opinions.

These are real people with real problems that we're trying to address, here.


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Default Re: What are you offended by right now? - 06-07-2015, 05:20 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by ~AsTheClockTicks View Post
How humanity has changed in the past decade or so ... Want any details?
Quote:
Malachi 3:6
For I am the Lord, I change not.
Please make a thread of your own in the "Introductions" section of the forum, so that we can properly greet you. Tell us about yourself, your church, and how you came to find Jesus.

And if you're here to flame us, better take a look at THIS before making an even bigger ass out of yourself.

I will pray that the Holy Spirit enter you and chase the demons out of your rectum and let Jesus fill you with His Grace. If you use your God-given free will to reject Christ and His temporary death on the cross for my sins, then you are sending yourself to hellfire.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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vargvikernes1 vargvikernes1 is offline
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Default Re: What are you offended by right now? - 06-07-2015, 07:57 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by GOD=life View Post
I suppose this is the time period to be offended by... drum-roll please... so-called Christians.

It is pretty offensive in general how these liberal wackos keep pretending to follow our Lord, Jesus Christ, and yet blatantly ignore almost everything that God has taught us.

It's just a bit hard to digest right now. Praying does help of course, but it still makes me sick to my stomach. Normally they are fluffy-bunny Christians, but now they are, quite literally, Easter-bunny Christians.

Excuse me while I throw up.
is'nt that every single one of you? as all you people here have serious problems, distorted views on everything, bet a butthurt mod will fly in here anytime, but know this, the days of christianity is gone, time to move on
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Default Re: What are you offended by right now? - 06-07-2015, 09:13 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by vargvikernes1 View Post
is'nt that every single one of you? as all you people here have serious problems, distorted views on everything, bet a butthurt mod will fly in here anytime, but know this, the days of christianity is gone, time to move on
The days of the Christian will never be over until Jesus returns (and He will soon, I expect) and sends all the sinners, both dead and alive to the Lake of Fire.

Glory!


1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.

Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.
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