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Default The Parodium - 05-22-2009, 10:03 PM

Just a fun little corner of the site where we can have a laugh by pretending to be liberals. I'll start.


-------------------------


Yesterday, my daughter came home from college (she is a double major in womyn's studies and Marxism at Vassar) and called my husbands and me into the living room for a family talk. She told us that she'd realized she was born a lesbian.

I said that was wonderful -- but also kind of sad, because it meant she could never have an abortion!


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Default Re: The Parodium - 05-22-2009, 10:13 PM

Well, look on the bright side! At least she is open and comfortable with her sexuality. Hopefully the rest of the country (ignorant Bible thumpers) will learn to accept her as you do. You're a great mom!

Say, have you seen that Fahrenheit 9/11 movie? Brilliant work of art! That genius Michael Moore really sticks it to Dubya! Thank god (just an expression, Im an atheist, relax!) we had the sense to elect President Obama to replace that clown. No doubt Obama is going to make this country better.


SPACESHIP JESUS appeared to me in Astronaut form when I was staying in a motel in 1974. He then told me the TRUTH about our world and what illusions the SATANIC ALLIANCE uses to control us! To this day, I still receive SPACESHIP RADIO SIGNALS INTO MY BRAIN. Absolve yourself of your limited Matrix existence.

Hosea 9:7
The days of visitation are come, the days of recompence are come; Israel shall know it: the prophet is a fool, the spiritual man is mad, for the multitude of thine iniquity, and the great hatred.
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Default Re: The Parodium - 05-22-2009, 10:23 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by MP Helmholtz View Post
Thank god (just an expression, Im an atheist, relax!) we had the sense to elect President Obama to replace that clown. No doubt Obama is going to make this country better.
Why are you thanking "god"?

We all know Obama IS the Messiah!

Just look:



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Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
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Default Re: The Parodium - 05-22-2009, 10:24 PM

Rev M, did you cry too when you heard Obama was elected? I was flowing in tears. FINALLY, for the first time in my life I was proud to call myself an American!


SPACESHIP JESUS appeared to me in Astronaut form when I was staying in a motel in 1974. He then told me the TRUTH about our world and what illusions the SATANIC ALLIANCE uses to control us! To this day, I still receive SPACESHIP RADIO SIGNALS INTO MY BRAIN. Absolve yourself of your limited Matrix existence.

Hosea 9:7
The days of visitation are come, the days of recompence are come; Israel shall know it: the prophet is a fool, the spiritual man is mad, for the multitude of thine iniquity, and the great hatred.
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Default Re: The Parodium - 05-22-2009, 10:26 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by MP Helmholtz View Post
Rev M, did you cry too when you heard Obama was elected? I was flowing in tears. FINALLY, for the first time in my life I was proud to call myself an American!
I sure did! Why, I and everyone at my church (yes, even us menfolk) dressed up as Michelle Obama and we all chanted, "Finally, proud to be American! We can FINALLY stop hating America!"


Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
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Default Re: The Parodium - 05-22-2009, 10:36 PM

Seriously, when Obama came to Kansas City, the wife and I went down there and I stood in the crowd for hours while she volunteered. I was no more than ten feet from the man I knew would be the first African-American President of the United States! I nearly wet myself!

And now he's socking it to those debased, greedy, anti-human capitalists in the car and banking industries!

Go, Obama!
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Default Re: The Parodium - 05-22-2009, 10:40 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr. Warren Wierdsbe View Post
And now he's socking it to those debased, greedy, anti-human capitalists in the car and banking industries!

Go, Obama!
He sure is! I really love the way he's racking up trillions of dollars in debt, none of which will come due until after the Rapture . . . oops after we've all died and returned to Gaia, taking a new role in the cycle of life.


Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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Default Re: The Parodium - 05-22-2009, 10:47 PM

Those poor rights deprived terrorist-Americans (is that right, like African Americans, or asian Americans?) who have been locked away in Gitmo will finally be set free! Free at last! They have a dream too!


Matthew:
5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled
10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.


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Default Re: The Parodium - 05-22-2009, 10:54 PM

I hope Obama keeps on his promise to let those victims of American Fascism, those long-suffering Muslim prisoners that right-wing extremists call "terrorists", free so that they can live their own lives and teach young children Koran and volatile chemistry. Keeping people in prison IS cruel and unusual punishment, thus torture. None of these people have been convicted of any crimes, either.

I don't care if Khalid Sheikh Mohammad was the so-called "mastermind" behind 9/11, since we all know the United States has only THEMSELVES to blame for causing strife in the Arab Region by their unwavering support of Israel. 9/11 was never a crime, it was self-defense against a tyrannical fascist nation!!!*

* Serious Note, Breaking Character: To all those CIA/FBI folks reading this, I remind you this is a joke thread, so please don't be knocking on my door any time soon. Thank you. -MPH


SPACESHIP JESUS appeared to me in Astronaut form when I was staying in a motel in 1974. He then told me the TRUTH about our world and what illusions the SATANIC ALLIANCE uses to control us! To this day, I still receive SPACESHIP RADIO SIGNALS INTO MY BRAIN. Absolve yourself of your limited Matrix existence.

Hosea 9:7
The days of visitation are come, the days of recompence are come; Israel shall know it: the prophet is a fool, the spiritual man is mad, for the multitude of thine iniquity, and the great hatred.

Last edited by Mad Prophet Helmholtz; 05-22-2009 at 10:56 PM. Reason: Lettin' the Feds know what's up!
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Default Re: The Parodium - 05-22-2009, 11:13 PM

Oh, um...I get it....a joke, okay....Uh, well....

I sure do like Gypsies!



Did I do that right?


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: The Parodium - 05-22-2009, 11:30 PM

I can't do it, I just can't.The Obama and The Oprah appeared together for the first time here in my home town of Columbia SC. I've never recovered and sometimes I think that I spend too much time in The Flying Saucer (excellent purveyor of Beer from around the world) because of the "joint" (sarcasm intended) appearance of Obama and Oprah. I almost feel like I live in Sodom because of this. I pray daily about it.

Yours in Christ
Brother Lazarus


In the Beginning God created the Heaven and the Earth. Genesis 1.1. This scripture is the first verse of the Bible for a reason. It lays the foundation for the absolute truth found in God's Holy WORD, the Bible.
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Default Re: The Parodium - 05-23-2009, 01:59 AM

I thought maybe I woke up from my nap and the whole world had gone crazy.


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Default Re: The Parodium - 05-23-2009, 02:04 AM

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Originally Posted by Brother Lazarus View Post
I can't do it, I just can't.The Obama and The Oprah appeared together for the first time here in my home town of Columbia SC. I've never recovered and sometimes I think that I spend too much time in The Flying Saucer (excellent purveyor of Beer from around the world) because of the "joint" (sarcasm intended) appearance of Obama and Oprah. I almost feel like I live in Sodom because of this. I pray daily about it.

Yours in Christ
Brother Lazarus
Have you seen evidence of the growing New Age cult of Oprahmaism, with its two-headed god/goddess?


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Default Re: The Parodium - 05-23-2009, 03:38 AM

Pardon me, homies. As soon as I save this spotted owl, I plan to eat a baby and drive my Prius down to the local abortion clinic where I will pass out condoms. I care more about the life of anonymous woodland creatures than about American-born human babies. Hail Satan!


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Default Re: The Parodium - 05-23-2009, 08:06 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by JennyD View Post
Have you seen evidence of the growing New Age cult of Oprahmaism, with its two-headed god/goddess?
Thankfully, no I've not seen anything tangible like an idol. I've assumed that a cult would grow from the allegorical mating of The Obama and The Oprah. I assume the mating was allegorical because an actual insemination would open the door for a full blown Godhead.

When I'm strong enough perhaps I'll research it, but for now I prefer to be in denial. I'm pretty sure I have another Highland Gaelic in the fridge.

Yours in Christ
Brother Lazarus


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Default Re: The Parodium - 10-26-2012, 12:39 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Virginia D. Templeton View Post
Just a fun little corner of the site where we can have a laugh by pretending to be liberals...
There's no bigger advocate of free speech than me -- except when it makes Muslims cry by telling them the truth! Then it's HATE SPEECH like yelling "FIRE" in a crowded theater! Muslims are simply such pure and Heavenly creatures that we can't be surprised that the smallest imprecation turns them into -- through no fault of their own -- unstoppable killing machines.

100% OUR FAULT. But otherwise, go free speech within responsible limits!
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Default Re: The Parodium - 10-26-2012, 03:45 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Born Again Bob View Post
There's no bigger advocate of free speech than me -- except when it makes Muslims cry by telling them the truth! Then it's HATE SPEECH like yelling "FIRE" in a crowded theater! Muslims are simply such pure and Heavenly creatures that we can't be surprised that the smallest imprecation turns them into -- through no fault of their own -- unstoppable killing machines.

100% OUR FAULT. But otherwise, go free speech within responsible limits!
Of course it's our fault. We haven't given them enough welfare and special privileges.


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Default Re: The Parodium - 10-26-2012, 05:25 PM

I was very much impressed by a green, organic, carbon-neutral website run by an anarcho-syndicalist LGBT collective based in a Millionaire’s empty mansion that they have requisitioned. The site is offering holistic, crystal therapy to pets of ethnic minorities with gender confusion issues – all proceeds go to aiding injured Hamas soldiers. I have donated $1000.





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Default Re: The Parodium - 10-26-2012, 11:31 PM

I just bought a chainsaw so I can abort all women in town because I hate Jesus. After painting myself black and raping them of course.

I also bought a flame thrower so I can pretend people not owning a Prius are bad for causing global warming.

And I paid for all this with money I got from handouts of course. Now please excuse me while I go enjoy some well deserved Obama care. I hear abortion pills are free today.


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Default Re: The Parodium - 10-27-2012, 05:56 PM

I convinced Widow Helen to get pregnant so she could have an abortion under ObamaCare!

We've been praying and praying that she'll get pregnant; it'd be a miracle, just like when Sarah got pregnant at 90! Just imagine how meaningful that abortion would be!

She's been coming along with me on my truck stop ministry to find a suitable father for her aborted fetus, which she plans to make into mincemeat muffins.


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