Pastor Zeke's News Wire Keep up to date with an ever-changing world from an even more Godlier perspective than FOX News. |
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Posts: 1,437
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Twenty minutes from hell- I mean Washington DC
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Maryland Outlaws Fake Testicles -
02-24-2007, 09:57 PM
Today, Maryland residents can feel safer about their children’s innocence while driving. Delegate LeRoy E. Myers Jr. sponsored a bill to the general assembly that would outlaw fake bull testicles being displayed on vehicles. The bill also bans images of naked human breasts, buttocks or genitals, with offenses punishable by fines of up to $500.
While this is a huge step forward for Christian Republicans, the ACLU us already on the case. "The legislation is overly broad, and would probably make it illegal to have a sticker on your car of the Venus de Milo from an art museum," ACLU of Maryland spokeswoman Meredith Curtis wrote in an email to the Associated Press.
While this is a victory for Maryland residents, Arizona isn’t so lucky. Last week a bill to outlaw racist remarks and silhouettes of naked women on mud flaps was rejected. The measure was added into another bill about changing the height requirements for rear fender splash guards. LIE-berals spotted the ammendment and quickly moved to squash it.
"If thou buy an Hebrew servant, six years he shall serve: and in the seventh he shall go out free for nothing. . . . And if a man sell his daughter to be a maidservant, she shall not go out as the manservant's do."
(Leviticus 21:6-7)
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True Christian™ Entrepreneur
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,695
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Leviticus Landing Gated Community, Freehold IA
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Re: Maryland Outlaws Fake Testicles -
02-27-2007, 07:37 PM
I read the headline and wondered how Joe Lieberman would get back and forth from DC to Connecticut.
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Deaconess Gracious, genteel, kind, tender, and warm True Christian™ Sister
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,215
Join Date: Jan 1970
Location: God's Own America
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Re: Maryland Outlaws Fake Testicles -
02-27-2007, 07:58 PM
Bulls Testicles make a yummy starter to any main course when the Pastor comes to dinner (but I don't let on what they are).
LeRoy E. Myers Jr is the man responsible for filing this Bill.
Now, he's obviously a man with a mission, but the last time I visited his family Ranch, he had a wonderful example of fine Bull-ish Tally-whacker in his Driveway!
(Picture Courtesy of Maryland Herald) Article here
Sister Talitha
Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.
HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41
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True Christian™ Princess The Driving Force behind RA12 Have at it, anytime!
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Posts: 11,024
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: At the Gift Exchange Counter
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Re: Maryland Outlaws Fake Testicles -
02-27-2007, 08:11 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sister Talitha
Bulls Testicles
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"Prairie oysters?" Certainly!
What are Rocky Mountain oysters? They are that part of the bull that is removed in his youth so that he may thereby be more tractable, grow meatier, and behave less masculine. When the calves are branded, the testicles are cut off and thrown in a bucket of water. They are then peeled, washed, rolled in flour and pepper, and fried in a pan. They are considered to be quite a delicacy. Like other organ meats, testicles may be cooked in a variety of ways – deep-fried whole, cut into broad, thin slices, or marinated. At roundups in the old West, cowboys and ranch hands tossed the meat on a hot iron stove. When the calf fries exploded, they were done!
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Deaconess Gracious, genteel, kind, tender, and warm True Christian™ Sister
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,215
Join Date: Jan 1970
Location: God's Own America
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Re: Maryland Outlaws Fake Testicles -
02-27-2007, 10:55 PM
Praise The Lord for those Prairie Oysters!!
Sister Sue, it makes my mouth water just talking about them!
Turning Bulls into Eunuchs for Lord Jesus© and making a Hearty meal is our True Christian™ way of recycling.
Matthew 19:12
For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother's womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it.
Sister Talitha
Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.
HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41
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HEATHEN — Suspected Witch
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Location: Red Peking
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Re: Maryland Outlaws Fake Testicles -
02-28-2007, 02:47 AM
This law is one of the stupidest things I've seen in some time! Thank the gods the ACLU is on it.
Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!
Last edited by Rachael Van Helsing; 02-28-2007 at 02:49 AM.
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Maryland Outlaws Fake Testicles -
02-28-2007, 02:48 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing
This law is one of the stupidest things I've seen in some time!
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Well you are certainly the forum expert on stupidity, I'll give you that.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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HEATHEN — Suspected Witch
Forum Member
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Posts: 5,110
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Red Peking
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Re: Maryland Outlaws Fake Testicles -
02-28-2007, 03:08 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel
Well you are certainly the forum expert on stupidity, I'll give you that.
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Oh har har, very funny, encore!
And of course I'm an expert. I am, after all, one of the few sane people among you nutters.
Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!
Last edited by Rachael Van Helsing; 02-28-2007 at 03:09 AM.
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On Extended Furlough
True Christian™
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Posts: 4,784
Join Date: Nov 2006
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Re: Maryland Outlaws Fake Testicles -
02-28-2007, 05:44 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing
Oh har har, very funny, encore!
And of course I'm an expert. I am, after all, one of the few sane people among you nutters.
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You probably have "nuts" hanging from your rear-view mirror.
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HEATHEN — Suspected Witch
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Posts: 5,110
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Red Peking
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Re: Maryland Outlaws Fake Testicles -
02-28-2007, 09:53 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by OnYourKnees
You probably have "nuts" hanging from your rear-view mirror.
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Those aren't nuts. You probably don't want to know what it is they actually are.
Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!
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Rock Worshipper
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Posts: 1,083
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Flat Rock, MN
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Re: Maryland Outlaws Fake Testicles -
02-28-2007, 10:16 PM
Oh crap! does this mean I can't go to Maryland any more? Well that's ok because they're a buch of cat-o-lick mary-worshippers anyway.
I am on the adventure of a lifetime! This is even better than the time I used the plastic stones!
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Predestinated Servant of Jesus Christ by the Will of God True Christian™ Theologian
True Christian™
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Posts: 4,420
Join Date: Sep 2006
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Re: Maryland Outlaws Fake Testicles -
03-01-2007, 12:42 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Star Finder
Oh crap! does this mean I can't go to Maryland any more?
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.... You wanted to go to Maryland? If you insist, I think the Church's Benevolence Committee could fix you up with a pair of these. Hat tip to Mrs. R, who originally brought the neuticle to the Church's attention many many moons ago -- And where is the charming Mrs. R?
I loved Newt before Newt was invincible
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Rock Worshipper
Forum Member
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Posts: 1,083
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Location: Flat Rock, MN
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Re: Maryland Outlaws Fake Testicles -
03-02-2007, 05:22 PM
Larry, that's the problem. You know that I'm a complete man now thanks to my stones but thsi state is now telling me I can't use them.
I also miss my OLD girlfriend Mrs. Rogers. Boy she was a looker.
I think she got married and left me holding the bag.
.
I am on the adventure of a lifetime! This is even better than the time I used the plastic stones!
Last edited by Star Finder; 03-02-2007 at 05:24 PM.
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Senior Usher True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom A very nice young man
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,647
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: South Yorkshire, hotbed of sin
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Re: Maryland Outlaws Fake Testicles -
03-04-2007, 06:13 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing
Those aren't nuts. You probably don't want to know what it is they actually are.
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Thank Jesus that I'm not your husband.
O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.
God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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