[Ezekiel Bathfire]

I’ll just mention this although I am aware that prophecies through dreams are sinful. I make no prophecy, but I did have a remarkable dream last night and thought I should share it with you.

I seemed to be floating above the earth looking down on its great disk, when my eyes turned to the heavens. It was then I saw the moon moving over the face of the firmament and as the moon made its way, there was a change in its color from white and darkened through a sort of orange color to the color of blood. And all was quiet and only the faithful saw it. And as I watched, it turned back to silver! I was, as you often are in dreams, inexplicably aware that my watch was showing 30 minutes after midnight as the change started and the whole episode took 5½ hours.

I woke startled and felt deep inside that something was going to happen, that the Lord was speaking to mankind; I thought that it might have been a message to bathe in the Blood of Jesus before His Birthday comes but that would not be for the faithful who have done this.

I will be watching the skies for evidence of what this means.

[SUV]

Oh my GOD! I am so extra-pleased now that I had my nose firmly implanted in a....KJV 1611? YEAH!....and I did not have to Evidence this dreadful sight

Surely it was the anti-Christ. Or perhaps, even, it augurs the Return of Hubert Hope

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

SHOUT GLORY UNTO THE LORD!!!!!!!

“And there will be SIGNS in the Heavens”

Revelation Chapter 6.

12 And I beheld when he had opened the sixth seal, and, lo, there was a great earthquake; and the sun became black as sackcloth of hair, and the moon became as blood;
13 And the stars of heaven fell unto the earth, even as a fig tree casteth her untimely figs, when she is shaken of a mighty wind.
14 And the heaven departed as a scroll when it is rolled together; and every mountain and island were moved out of their places.
15 And the kings of the earth, and the great men, and the rich men, and the chief captains, and the mighty men, and every bondman, and every free man, hid themselves in the dens and in the rocks of the mountains;
16 And said to the mountains and rocks, Fall on us, and hide us from the face of him that sitteth on the throne, and from the wrath of the Lamb:
17 For the great day of his wrath is come; and who shall be able to stand?


Matthew 24:29-30
Immediately after the tribulation of those days shall the sun be darkened, and the moon shall not give her light, and the stars shall fall from heaven, and the powers of the heavens shall be shaken: 30: And then shall appear the sign of the Son of man in heaven: and then shall all the tribes of the earth mourn, and they shall see the Son of man coming in the clouds of heaven with power and great glory.


It is a sign that THE END is near!!!



Oh no! Now I've got to go figure out what to wear for the RAPTURE!!!!! It has to be something really special. Come on Sister Sue let's go to the Christ on a Cross Mall and get ourselves something special to wear. Our special day will soon finally arrive!

GLORY!!!

[Jinx Mallard]

It's a lunar eclipse. The same thing happened about 2 or 3 years ago.
But there hasn't been a lunar eclipse on winter solstice in about 300 years.
All of the meteorologists in my area have been reporting about the lunar eclipse for nearly a week now.

[Rev. Jim Osborne]

Originally Posted by Jinx Mallard

It's a lunar eclipse. The same thing happened about 2 or 3 years ago.
But there hasn't been a lunar eclipse on winter solstice in about 300 years.
All of the meteorologists in my area have been reporting about the lunar eclipse for nearly a week now.

That still doesn't deny the fact that the Book of Revelation has been shown to be true. I think this is definitely proof that the End Times are upon us (Praise Jesus!)

[Jinx Mallard]

Originally Posted by Rev. Jim Osborne

That still doesn't deny the fact that the Book of Revelation has been shown to be true. I think this is definitely proof that the End Times are upon us (Praise Jesus!)

So, that means it's been the "End Times" for several hundred centuries now? Ok

[Lost Sheep McUinnean]

Originally Posted by Jinx Mallard

So, that means it's been the "End Times" for several hundred centuries now? Ok

You're really not a numbers person are you?



Shouldn't you be doing housework or something anyway?

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

I was agitated all day! I told Mrs Bathfire all about my dream and I told my faithful retainer, “Boy” and they looked at each other in amazement! When I announced that this was proof that God had spoken to Ezekiel, I noticed their amazement rose to incredulity!

Like a child waiting for the Pastor’s sermon, I could not wait for midnight thirty.

At quarter past, I told Mrs Bathfire that I was going out into the garden. Her only response was that it was 22 degrees out there and I would probably catch cold. (I fail to see why God did not give women a little more sense – it’s probably part of His Plan.)

My eyes adjusted to the pitch black after I fell over a rake carelessly left by someone, and I stared at the sky. Imagine my disappointment when it was clouded over! This I recognized immediately as a test of faith. I realized calmness was of the essence. I called “Boy” to bring a comfortable chair, blankets and more brandy and I settled down to watch.

At about 1:30 a.m. I awoke with a start! Once I realized where I was and what I was doing, I saw, above me, a break in the cloud and THE MOON WAS ORANGE!! It was ORANGE, just as I had dreamed! I leapt out of my seat and was about to call Mrs Bathfire and Boy to come and witness this epic and Godly event, when the blankets became entangled in my feet and I fell. My cry of anguish brought Mrs Bathfire running to my side. (Her comments as she came could have been kinder…) I called for her to look at the moon, “Look at the moon!!!” I said.

The idiot woman did not take her eyes from me but said, “Yes Ezekiel, the moon, you won’t see much of it down there!”

I explained that the blankets were round my legs but that this was not important! “Get a camera!!! Take a photo!” I called (knowing that irritating atheists always ask for proof.) Well, that stopped her in her tracks!

“A camera Ezekiel? Why do you want a camera?”

“Gah! Woman! Get a camera and take a photo! Go! I Command you!” (She gave a shrug that some might consider insolent but wandered off back to the house.) I twisted my head round and looked up at the sky – it was still there but the clouds were moving in! I watch carefully and estimated there was about 1 minute left.

“Woman! Get out here with that camera!” I called. All was dark and quiet. I started to struggle with the blankets but they seemed to be caught under the chair. As I was pulling and tugging, I heard a click.

I looked up and there was Mrs Bathfire taking photographs of me!!! Me!!! “The Damn Moon you cretin!” I advised her.

“The Moon?” she asked as if I were mad, “You said to get a camera.”

“Yes, get a camera to photograph the moon.” I sank back.. decades of marriage and what do I get? Someone who has difficulty understanding the simplest concept.

“I’ve got a camera Ezekiel.” She replied, “Where’s the moon?”

“Gah! Damn you! It’s in the firmament, where else would it be? Take a photo.”

I could not believe it! She took a photo of me again!!

“Give it me! Give it me!” I cried.

“You’re not taking a photo of me like this, so you can put that out of your mind. I am in my night clothes. And it is very cold. If you want to freeze yourself, that’s your affair. I told you, you would catch cold, so don’t come running to me when you are sneezing.”

I thought of Job and his patience, calmness was all important. “Could you hand me the camera? I have a rather important photograph to take.”

“Did I hear, ‘Please’?” she said!!!!

Can you believe it? God speaks to you once in a dream and Satan starts to possess everyone around you!

“The camera, Dearest, please!” I said through gritted teeth. She bent down and handed it to me and walked away muttering something. (I also saw Boy for the first time; Darkies are difficult to see in the dark. He raised his eyebrows and followed Mrs Bathfire.)

I twisted back to observe the sky and the clouds had covered the moon giving only a faint glow… but I swear it was orange.

I spent a long time freeing myself, righting the chair and wrapping the torn blankets round me. I then poured myself a stiff brandy and having taken deep restorative draughts, I regret to say, must have fallen asleep again.

God was with me though! It was about 2.30 a.m when I awoke and saw an awesome sight! I know what Moses felt like when he spoke to some combustible shrubbery! The moon was out from the clouds and BLOOD RED!

I called at the top of my voice for Mrs Bathfire and Boy! The house was in darkness – those of little faith had gone to bed. I took the camera and furiously took photos until the batteries failed. There was no doubt that the moon was red! Blood red!

At that moment, you have no idea of the feeling that came over me – God had revealed Himself in all his magnificent glory! A Work of the Greatest Mystery!

The rest of the night was cloudy and very cold but I did catch a glimpse of the moon once it had returned to silver.

I append one of the photos.

They are all the same. Mrs Bathfire had left the lens cap on. You have no idea of my despair. None. You have none at all. I feel like the priests of Baal when their sacrifice failed to light although Elijah’s did. I was as desolate as Pharaoh when all his slaves ran off. Words cannot express my sadness. And I still don’t know what it means.

If you have faith, you will believe me.

[SUV]

Originally Posted by BibleThumpinBlonde

Oh no! Now I've got to go figure out what to wear for the RAPTURE!!!!! It has to be something really special. Come on Sister Sue let's go to the Christ on a Cross Mall and get ourselves something special to wear. Our special day will soon finally arrive!

GLORY!!!

JESUS! I was so Hoping you would invite me, Sister! A Classy place like Christ on the Cross Mall has got to have less homer!sexurals. And, pagans. Yes; pagans have taken to following me all around Walmart too! I tried to sic them on the homer!s to Create a Diversion
in Order to get some Shopping done, but did it Work? NO! They all kept following me around to leer at my Buxom Christian Body!

Let's also be Sure to bring our Cells so if we get split up it will be no problem. Also to try to somehow get pictures of the Miracle that Brother Bathfire has been Witnessing. Maybe even Brother Bathfire himself, should he appear, as he seems to be in a State of Rapture.

Or else we can photograph the un$avED and sell them to the National Inquirer or the New York Post or something for the BIG Money - folks must be wondering what one looks like

[Brother Temperance]

Originally Posted by Jinx Mallard

So, that means it's been the "End Times" for several hundred centuries now? Ok

Luke 21:32 Verily I say unto you, This generation shall not pass away, till all be fulfilled.

According to Jesus, who is infallible, some of his contemporaries will survive until the apocalypse. Given that that is the case, I don't see why it's any more implausible than saying that it's been the End Times for several centuries (several centuries, not several hundred centuries. There have only been about 60 centuries in total).