Landover to the Rescue - Christian Help Forum A Christian Help Forum led by Sister Daisy Mae Johnson. Warning! Sometimes the Lord's advice is a hard pill to swallow. |
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Family Man of the Year 2010-2013 About as Straight and Manly as you can get Hates anal sex. And trees.
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Location: Protecting my children from homosexuals
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Re: Should I get a Tattoo? -
05-09-2011, 04:36 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by taylorenne
Can somebody delete my account I don't know how and I want no part in this insanity.
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But you've only just arrived. Don't you want to be saved?
The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!
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Family Man of the Year 2010-2013 About as Straight and Manly as you can get Hates anal sex. And trees.
True Christian™
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Posts: 8,323
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Protecting my children from homosexuals
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Re: Should I get a Tattoo? -
05-09-2011, 04:45 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jack O'fagan
I am afraid to say that Mrs O'fagan has a tattoo of a butterfly on her lower back. She likes it. But I was considered holding her down and cutting it out. The pain would be intense but short compared to what she will suffer for eternity in hell. Will my act of love save her eternal soul?
Yours
Jack
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How resourceful, Brother Jack! Many so-called Christians would have silently resigned their wives to Hell over such a thing, but you and your inventive mind have saved your wife's soul!
Be sure and update us with the details of the surgery.
I would suggest burning it off.
This reminds me of the time I had to cut off my ex-wife's hand and tongue. She was always getting into mischief, and as you know the Bible instructs us to cut off body parts that get us into trouble.
Mark 9:43-47
43 And if thy hand offend thee, cut it off: it is better for thee to enter into life maimed, than having two hands to go into hell, into the fire that never shall be quenched:
45 And if thy foot offend thee, cut it off: it is better for thee to enter halt into life, than having two feet to be cast into hell, into the fire that never shall be quenched:
47 And if thine eye offend thee, pluck it out: it is better for thee to enter into the kingdom of God with one eye, than having two eyes to be cast into hell fire:
Your solution is definitely within the spirit of this rule.
It would be best to commence as soon as possible. You don't want her dying on you!
The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!
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With faith as immovable as the Earth
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Re: Should I get a Tattoo? -
05-09-2011, 06:34 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Billy Bob Jenkins
How resourceful, Brother Jack! Many so-called Christians would have silently resigned their wives to Hell over such a thing, but you and your inventive mind have saved your wife's soul!
Be sure and update us with the details of the surgery.
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I haven't done any about this yet however I think the problem will be resolved this Friday. Unfortunately my wife is not a True Christian. I am getting the message through to her, however sometimes she goes back to her old ways. In a moment of weakness I agreed that she can leave the house on Friday and have an evening with some friends. It has been several years since she was last allowed out. Being English she will act like a harlot, dancing to music and drinking. I have told her she must be in by 9.30pm. She will then be semiconscious. That is when I shall pounce. Rather than cutting it out with a knife I have prepared a cheese grater. It will take longer but hopefully I can leave her with a layer or two of skin. She will thank me for this some day. Also as she will be drunk she will feel less pain (yet another example of my caring side)
Quote:
Originally Posted by taylorenne
Can somebody delete my account I don't know how and I want no part in this insanity.
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What insanity would that be?
YiC
Jack
Genesis 22:2 And he said, Take now thy son, thine only son Isaac, whom thou lovest, and get thee into the land of Moriah; and offer him there for a burnt offering upon one of the mountains which I will tell thee of.
I know God wouldn't let me believe in Him if He didn't exist.
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Ladies of Landover Senior VP One of the Truest Christians™ Ever Mama Grizzly and formerly Sister Mary Maria
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Location: Standing behind my husband
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Re: Should I get a Tattoo? -
05-09-2011, 06:43 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by taylorenne
Can somebody delete my account I don't know how and I want no part in this insanity.
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Did you sign up just to whine and create extra work for us?
NO, we will NOT delete your account! If you don't want to find salvation, just click the little X at the top right hand corner of your screen and don't come back, simple as that!
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,910
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Should I get a Tattoo? -
05-09-2011, 11:35 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by taylorenne
Can somebody delete my account I don't know how and I want no part in this insanity.
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Dear Hatemonger;
I'm sorry, but it is our policy NEVER to remove the account of an unsaved fool. Your belligerent hatemongering will remain for future unsaved scum to see and learn from for all eternity (or until Jesus returns to slay most of the earth, whichever comes first).
Jesus called you here for a reason, so you might rethink your selfish tantrum and stick around.
If you'd really like to remove yourself from our Godly forum, all you need to do is to click on that tiny red "x" in the upper righthand corner of your computer screen. Then close your computer, stand up, and walk away.
YIC,
--Pastor Ezekiel
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Confirmed Enemy of God
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Posts: 3
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Re: Should I get a Tattoo? -
05-10-2011, 02:29 AM
God gave us the Markings that we are supposed to have at Birth and through Life by way of scars from our trials.
Any self mutilation by way of branding or tatooing is not acceptable.
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True Christian™ Just a Regular Nice Guy
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Re: Should I get a Tattoo? -
05-10-2011, 11:30 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Guidinglight
God gave us the Markings that we are supposed to have at Birth and through Life by way of scars from our trials.
Any self mutilation by way of branding or tatooing is not acceptable.
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No, God marked some as a way to let the rest of the world know who was defective and bad. In street vernacular, that is called, marking the 'factory seconds'.
Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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With faith as immovable as the Earth
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Posts: 4,779
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Body in England but HEART IN FREEHOLD!
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Re: Should I get a Tattoo? -
05-16-2011, 08:40 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jack O'fagan
I haven't done any about this yet however I think the problem will be resolved this Friday. Unfortunately my wife is not a True Christian. I am getting the message through to her, however sometimes she goes back to her old ways. In a moment of weakness I agreed that she can leave the house on Friday and have an evening with some friends. It has been several years since she was last allowed out. Being English she will act like a harlot, dancing to music and drinking. I have told her she must be in by 9.30pm. She will then be semiconscious. That is when I shall pounce. Rather than cutting it out with a knife I have prepared a cheese grater. It will take longer but hopefully I can leave her with a layer or two of skin. She will thank me for this some day. Also as she will be drunk she will feel less pain (yet another example of my caring side)
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Unfortunately this plan didn't go as well as I hoped. After 20 minutes of removing my wifes tatoo with the cheese grater she broke free. The neighbours were banging on the walls as well wondering what all the screaming was about. I will try again another day. I think our relationship is still stong. I think she is planning a surprise romantic weekend away as I noticed she has got my suitcase out of the attic.
YiC
Jack
Genesis 22:2 And he said, Take now thy son, thine only son Isaac, whom thou lovest, and get thee into the land of Moriah; and offer him there for a burnt offering upon one of the mountains which I will tell thee of.
I know God wouldn't let me believe in Him if He didn't exist.
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Fourm Member
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Posts: 9,264
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Location: On my way to Paradise
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Re: Should I get a Tattoo? -
05-17-2011, 07:46 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jack O'fagan
Unfortunately this plan didn't go as well as I hoped. After 20 minutes of removing my wifes tatoo with the cheese grater she broke free. The neighbours were banging on the walls as well wondering what all the screaming was about. I will try again another day. I think our relationship is still stong. I think she is planning a surprise romantic weekend away as I noticed she has got my suitcase out of the attic.
YiC
Jack
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Don't you think a belt sander would be faster and more efficient than a cheese grater?
Just an idea.
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Re: Should I get a Tattoo? -
05-18-2011, 04:47 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by BelieverInGod
Don't you think a belt sander would be faster and more efficient than a cheese grater?
Just an idea.
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Well aren't you a clever girl! Where did you hear about powertools? I'll bet you were listening to the men instead of tending to your pie crusts, right?
(Hey Seth! You need to keep her in line!)
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Fourm Member
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Location: On my way to Paradise
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Re: Should I get a Tattoo? -
05-18-2011, 05:54 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel
Well aren't you a clever girl! Where did you hear about powertools? I'll bet you were listening to the men instead of tending to your pie crusts, right?
(Hey Seth! You need to keep her in line!)
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Uh......
Seth sends me to the garage to get a belt sander, I better come back with a belt sander. I come back with a grinder and I will know about it.
I'm just a well trained gopher.
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Unsaved trash
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Posts: 136
Join Date: Apr 2011
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Re: Should I get a Tattoo? -
05-18-2011, 10:44 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jack O'fagan
I am afraid to say that Mrs O'fagan has a tattoo of a butterfly on her lower back. She likes it. But I was considered holding her down and cutting it out. The pain would be intense but short compared to what she will suffer for eternity in hell. Will my act of love save her eternal soul?
Yours
Jack
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That sounds pretty though! I have a tattoo of a little fox on my side, it's really cute!
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With faith as immovable as the Earth
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Posts: 4,779
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Body in England but HEART IN FREEHOLD!
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Re: Should I get a Tattoo? -
05-18-2011, 10:56 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Twiggy
That sounds pretty though! I have a tattoo of a little fox on my side, it's really cute!
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It won't look so cute etched on crackling when you are roasting in hell.
Jack
Genesis 22:2 And he said, Take now thy son, thine only son Isaac, whom thou lovest, and get thee into the land of Moriah; and offer him there for a burnt offering upon one of the mountains which I will tell thee of.
I know God wouldn't let me believe in Him if He didn't exist.
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Posts: 72
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Location: SLUT
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Hypocritical Idiot!!! -
03-11-2012, 09:31 PM
What a hypocritical idiot! Unsaved Trash like this are a total embarrassment to the Christian community! This is a prime example of "A Cherry Picking Christian." Although he claims he is a Christian, he has not even read the Bible. Or maybe this embarrassment stopped after Leviticus 18. Well, either way this embarrassment should have read the whole Bible before he went down to the local demon parlor and received a mark of the beast!
Leviticus 19:28
Ye shall not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor print any markes vpon you: I am the Lord.
That embarrassment tattooed his ticket to Hell on his arm and can burn in Hell with the gays he hates!
Always Yours In Christ
Deuteronomy 22:21
21.Then they shall bring out the damsel to the door of her father's house, and the men of her city shall stone her with stones that she die: because she hath wrought folly in Israel, to play the whore in her father's house: so shalt thou put evil away from among you.
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One of the Lord's Airborne Rangers Salvation from Above God's Favorite Pilot™
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Re: Hypocritical Idiot!!! -
03-11-2012, 09:41 PM
And it's not even from a real Bible! That's from the English Standard Version!
Winging our Way Across the World for The Lord!
God Bless John Boehner and God Bless the Grand Old Party!
Barack Hussein Obama is not My President!!!
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Re: Should I get a Tattoo? -
03-11-2012, 09:52 PM
Maybe he was mislead by some false christians that even claim Biblical support for tattoos.
Matt 5:17-20 "Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil. For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled. Whosoever therefore shall break one of these least commandments, and shall teach men so, he shall be called the least in the kingdom of heaven:..."
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,910
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Re: Should I get a Tattoo? -
03-11-2012, 09:55 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Holyfield
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I don't think I've ever seen a more clear-cut example of false Christian cherry-picking in my life.
Next they'll try and tell us that God wants us all to be queers.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Re: Hypocritical Idiot!!! -
03-11-2012, 11:34 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Capt. A. Portway
And it's not even from a real Bible! That's from the English Standard Version!
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I know the embassment his mother must feel.. not even the KJV 1611l! I bet if we could get a closer look at that tattoo words would also be misspelt!
Always Yours In Christ
Deuteronomy 22:21
21.Then they shall bring out the damsel to the door of her father's house, and the men of her city shall stone her with stones that she die: because she hath wrought folly in Israel, to play the whore in her father's house: so shalt thou put evil away from among you.
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Confirmed Enemy of God
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Posts: 226
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Zürich, Sweden, chewing blubber
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Re: Should I get a Tattoo? -
03-12-2012, 01:38 AM
Having tatoos is a disgusting sin, it's only sluts and homers who has tattoos
Leviticus 19:28
Ye shall not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor print any marks upon you: I am the Lord.
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Unsaved trash
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Posts: 26
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Texas
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Re: Should I get a Tattoo? -
04-04-2012, 01:15 PM
This is very informative. I just joined this website and this caught my eye. My brother got a tattoo of a Chinese word, and I knew it felt wrong. Is there anything she can do to right this sin? Getting a tattoo removed leaves a mark as well doesn't it? My brother is not able to discern wrongs very well.
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