[John North]

Since you are reading this, you are likely to use a computer. If you use a computer, you also use computer programs. All programs have been written by someone and have been translated to something that a computer can understand. The translator is called a compiler. What many people don’t think of is that compilers are Satan’s tools.

Maybe some of you will get tired having to read this technical mumbo jumbo but please bear with me. This is a serious matter and I’ll prove my point with some simple examples that’ll require no prior knowledge in programming.

So, the compiler translates a readable language to something a stupid computer can handle. The problem is that the compiler allows practically anything in the compilation process, meaning the code that constitutes the programs we are all running can be of the most horrible origin. Instead of just preventing satanic code from being translated, the compiler just feeds us with yet another program to run

Look at the following examples. There is nothing wrong with this code from the compilers perspective.

int niceNumber = 666;

An obvious lie; should not make it through a righteous compiler. If I’m mot mistaking Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. solved this particular problem; described in this thread.

unsafe volatile object god;

God is not an unsafe volatile object + improper capitalization of God. This should not make it through a compiler.

Even worse… Many modern programming languages are object oriented. This means you can create so called classes to represent things (on a conceptual level). These classes can then be instantiated and the instances are called objects. Object orientation brings God mocking to a completely new level.

Look at the following code:

// A Christian class
    class Jesus
    {
        public virtual String Says()
        {
            return "Burn in hell Atheist scum!";
        }
    }

// An unchristian class that inherits from a Christian class 
// = should NOT be ok in the first place
    class Homo : Jesus
    {
        public override String Says()
        {
            return "Homo sex is great!";
        }
    }

The worst is yet to come. Just look at how these classes can be used:

Jesus Christ = new Homo();
Console.Out.WriteLine(Christ.Says());

And what do you think Christ says? Well: "Homo sex is great!". You do not need to be a programmer to see how crazy this is. According to the compiler, it’s all okay though. Just imagine all the millions of lines of code that is spinning around in our common applications every day. Absolutely no safeguards what so ever. This must stop!

In the absence of proper legislation to prevent this abomination, here are a couple of things you can do yourself:

1. Don’t buy any software until the manufacturers can guarantee that their code is free from everything that might contradict Gods word. It might take some time before all their code is clean; Microsoft alone has probably got a couple of billion lines of code in their commercial software. But there is nothing unreasonable about this demand; we should be able to trust that the programs we use is free from hatred to God just as we trust our corned beef to be free from catholic excrements.
   
   
2. If your kids go to public school and get exposed to programming during their education, have them demand that the language being taught is not of a God mocking kind. Hint… The only programming language known to be reasonable safe is pure machine code (since you don’t need to compile it).
   
   
3. Write your own compiler and make sure that the syntax in your programming language is compliant with the bible (KJV 1900). Also make sure to enforce contextual constraints to the code content. For example:
   

   String Jesus = “bed wetter”;

   should render a compilation error. When the compiler is done, write all the programs you need in True Christian code!

[Felicity]

I didn't understand any of that, so I am sure it is evil!

[Mary Etheldreda]

I've been praying over my computer all day to rid it of any such demons. Thank you, rapeunsel, for the heads-up.

[Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.]

If your toolchain only supports KJV 1900, then you're about 300 years off! The Bible was finished, done, completed, stamped in 1611 -- every dot & tittle was there, no more, no less.

That said, an impressive showing of computer acumen! Did you take the Devry Institute's night school refresher training certificate course also?

[Brother Harold Porter]

Indeed. This is why Landover Baptist Church chose to create this website in pure binary form of ones and zeros, rather than assembly line language. It was entirely too risky to use any secular foolishness that might compromise our mission in praising Jesus Christ.

In Christ

[John North]

Originally Posted by Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.

If your toolchain only supports KJV 1900, then you're about 300 years off!

You’re absolutely right, of course… I was upset at the time and made a stupid mistake. Hopefully no one has yet started making a compiler based on this false information.

Having said that, this is a good example of something that could have been avoided with proper compilation. All the posts we make are basically saved as a long character sequence in an HTML format (or similar). Later when our posts are being displayed to any visitor, this sequence is parsed and interpreted before being shown. If there is one thing even more sinister than a compiler, it is an HTML parser! You can feed it with practically anything (the input doesn’t even need to be syntactically correct) and it will happily return something do the user (in the most arbitrary of fashions).

Would my post have been properly compiled (instead of just parsed) before being displayed to any user, the KJV 1900 thing would have rendered a compilation error or, even better, been auto corrected.

[Nobar King]

I hope you're not referring to my job.

[YOULIEMUCH!]

Originally Posted by Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.

If your toolchain only supports KJV 1900, then you're about 300 years off! The Bible was finished, done, completed, stamped in 1611 -- every dot & tittle was there, no more, no less.

That said, an impressive showing of computer acumen! Did you take the Devry Institute's night school refresher training certificate course also?

Why is this satanist here?

But if thine eye be evil, thy whole body shall be full of darkness. Matthew 6:23

[YOULIEMUCH!]

Mary Etheldreda is a satanist too. He is defending a satanist!
How dare you to demean God's word!
blasphemy
blasphemy
blasphemy

[Mary Etheldreda]

Originally Posted by YOULIEMUCH!

Why is this satanist here?

You're quite mistaken, dear. The good Doctor is as True Christian™ as they come. His place at the foot of Christ, worshiping and praising His Holy Name for all eternity without need for food or a bathroom break has been assured. His Salvation is guaranteed. You will find very few worthy role models as our good friend, Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Who are these compliers who are not writing code in Linear Q? This is the language of JesOS 7

(Shortly to be replaced by JesOS 8, the inspired brainchild of none other than Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S!)

[Cranky Old Man]

Originally Posted by Ezekiel Bathfire

Who are these compliers who are not writing code in Linear Q? This is the language of JesOS 7 (Shortly to be replaced by JesOS 8, the inspired brainchild of none other than Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S!)

Hm, JesOS 7 has been busy "installing" for months on my computer. Do you think it will complete in time so I can start installing JesOS 8?

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

We have recognized that there is a difficulty what with God being outside time and space, but you will find that a simple install from the DVD will be enough if you have faith in abundance... You do have faith in abundance...?

PS I have just made some inquiries, and apparently your copy is just 2 days out of warranty.

[Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.]

Originally Posted by Cranky Old Man

Hm, JesOS 7 has been busy "installing" for months on my computer. Do you think it will complete in time so I can start installing JesOS 8?

Behold, installation complete is coming soon!

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Originally Posted by Ezekiel Bathfire

We have recognized that there is a difficulty what with God being outside time and space, but you will find that a simple install from the DVD will be enough if you have faith in abundance... You do have faith in abundance...?

PS I have just made some inquiries, and apparently your copy is just 2 days out of warranty.