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Default Forget "Occupy Wall Street"! We need to CONVERT Wall Street! - 09-25-2012, 03:44 AM

Convert it to Christianity, of course!

I'm sorry to say a bit of rebuking will be necessary, however:

Wall Street Traders Turn to Astrology


Quote:
Wall Street is a sophisticated place full of smart, savvy professionals who make decisions based on rational criteria … like whether or not Mercury is in retrograde. An astrology-based financial newsletter has drawn a couple thousand subscribers, Marketplace.org reveals. Another has at least 300 traders subscribed, for the low-low price of $237 a year. Of course, most traders want to keep such a trove of valuable insight to themselves—astrologer Arch Crawford recalls a customer asking to receive the report in "brown paper wrappers."

Another astrologer gave this advice ahead of a recent Fed announcement: "They now have Saturn squared to Neptune, which is really bankruptcy. Neptune represents money. But when Saturn shows up in a chart, it indicates restriction. So for the Fed, that means, 'the fiscal cliff is here.'" Sounds scientifically sound to us. Oh, and if Mercury really is in retrograde, watch out—that means communication failures, and according to Crawford, that usually means market glitches—like Knight Capital's meltdown.

Naturally, I want every single Wall Street trader to accept Jesus Christ as his personal savior, but those who refuse to stop using astrology will clearly need to be driven out, as per God's wishes:


Quote:
Deuteronomy 18:10-14

10 There shall not be found among you any one that maketh his son or his daughter to pass through the fire, or that useth divination, or an observer of times, or an enchanter, or a witch.

11 Or a charmer, or a consulter with familiar spirits, or a wizard, or a necromancer.

12 For all that do these things are an abomination unto the Lord: and because of these abominations the Lord thy God doth drive them out from before thee.

13 Thou shalt be perfect with the Lord thy God.

14 For these nations, which thou shalt possess, hearkened unto observers of times, and unto diviners: but as for thee, the Lord thy God hath not suffered thee so to do.

I suppose if we're feeling charitable, we could drive them in a Westerly direction, but if the Lord wills it, we might just find ourselves driving them East and right into the Atlantic ocean.

I sure hope those Wall Street astrology believers know how to swim!



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Default Re: Forget "Occupy Wall Street"! We need to CONVERT Wall Street! - 09-26-2012, 09:17 PM

Could we instead offer True Christian™ investment advice?


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Default Re: Forget "Occupy Wall Street"! We need to CONVERT Wall Street! - 09-26-2012, 09:44 PM

Far to true, they have been away to many atheists and secret communists on Wallstreet. Look at what happened in 2007 - that's what happens when you interject socialism into the market place with radical hippie ideas like employing women or giving your workers vacations. A crash is going to happen sooner or later.



Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

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Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!
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Default Re: Forget "Occupy Wall Street"! We need to CONVERT Wall Street! - 09-26-2012, 09:49 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe View Post
Far to true, they have been away to many atheists and secret communists on Wallstreet. Look at what happened in 2007 - that's what happens when you interject socialism into the market place with radical hippie ideas like employing women or giving your workers vacations. A crash is going to happen sooner or later.
And who are two of the wealthiest Americans who have spent decades manipulating Wall Street? Warren Buffett and Bill Gates.

BOTH ATHEISTS.


Bible boring? Nonsense!
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Default Re: Forget "Occupy Wall Street"! We need to CONVERT Wall Street! - 09-26-2012, 11:03 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. M. Rodimer View Post
Could we instead offer True Christian™ investment advice?
I think the best investment would be tithing to Landover Baptist Church, as God will return your gift with eternal life. The job creators at LBC will use the money according to Matthew 25:14-30 and in the end everybody will benefit from this, even the smelly wetbacks who clean the pastor's swimming pools. Don't you think?
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Default Re: Forget "Occupy Wall Street"! We need to CONVERT Wall Street! - 09-27-2012, 03:13 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ex-soccer player View Post
I think the best investment would be tithing to Landover Baptist Church, as God will return your gift with eternal life. The job creators at LBC will use the money according to Matthew 25:14-30 and in the end everybody will benefit from this, even the smelly wetbacks who clean the pastor's swimming pools. Don't you think?
An excellent point, ex-soccer player!

But there are also ways a Christian can invest as an individual that a church cannot. For example, in a 401(k) at work.

We can advise clients to direct their 401(k) money toward True Christian™ businesses like Chik-Fil-A!


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Default Re: Forget "Occupy Wall Street"! We need to CONVERT Wall Street! - 09-27-2012, 05:15 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. M. Rodimer View Post
We can advise clients to direct their 401(k) money toward True Christian™ businesses like Chik-Fil-A!
I agree, Chick-fil-a would be a great Christian investment, I never bought into the rumors about ptomaine poisoning at chick-fil-a.

Personally, I would go for defense industry stocks. On november 12th, Romney will score a landslide victory over Adolf Hussein. Syria and Iran are no doubt places where a lot of weapons of mass destruction and terrorists can be found. Romney will tackle this threat the American way I know he's an magic-undie-wearer but God can work through non-Christians too! Russia will keep still because Sister Sarah observes their Godless activities from her attic in Alaska.
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Default Re: Forget "Occupy Wall Street"! We need to CONVERT Wall Street! - 09-27-2012, 09:32 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ex-soccer player View Post
I know he's an magic-undie-wearer but God can work through non-Christians too!
Not for long, he isn't! Please use the link in my signature line to add your name to our petition to convince Mitt Romney to reject Mormonism and become a True Christian™!


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