The Freehold Truth and Light Baptist newspaper Featured editorials, letters to the GODLY Pastors of Landover, local news, advise columns. |
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Man Tries to Rob Bank After Paying Wizard to Make Him Invisible -
05-14-2013, 03:44 AM
THIS should send a chill up the spine of every God-fearing Christian in America. The Rapture must be imminent!
Quote:
A man tried to rob a bank after paying $500 to a wizard to make him invisible
Never trust strangers. That is something most of us were taught by our parents or guardians at an early stage of our life, especially if the stranger says he is a sorcerer who can turn you invisible whilst you rob a bank!
Unfortunately, for one man in Iran, he made the mistake of trusting a fake sorcerer who convinced him that he was invisible and could rob a bank safely. The man explained to the court that he had paid five hundred dollars to a wizard, who in return gave him a set of spells to tie to his arm. The demon sorcerer explained to him that the spells would make him invisible, and that he could then rob banks all he wanted.
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Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58 Christ's Guardian
True Christian™
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Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Mostly on the front porch.
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Re: Man Tries to Rob Bank After Paying Wizard to Make Him Invisible -
05-14-2013, 06:43 AM
These Iranians are obviously idiots. We need to get them before they start sending their atomic bombs at us.
May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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Psychotheological Analyst Therapist
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Posts: 9,051
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Surrounded by queers.
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Re: Man Tries to Rob Bank After Paying Wizard to Make Him Invisible -
05-14-2013, 08:12 AM
What worries me is if a real wizard who has actually sold his soul to Satan makes one of the gaywise invisible
Imagine the scene where several youthful, boyish, clean limbed young youths are finishing a game of football and hit the showers and one of these filthy perverts is hidden under a shroud of invisibility already ensconced int the showers!
How is anyone self from Opportunistic Anal Penertration (OAP)? Time was a queer had to drug and rape a young boy to get his anal desires.
We are trully through the looking glass, I expect.
YIC
1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.
Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.
Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 543
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: In the UAE.
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Re: Man Tries to Rob Bank After Paying Wizard to Make Him Invisible -
05-14-2013, 12:34 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr Laurence Niles
What worries me is if a real wizard who has actually sold his soul to Satan makes one of the gaywise invisible
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I'm not one for conspiracy theories, but I think this actually happened.
The San Francisco Experiment
Did the Queers really disappear? (Copyright Lee Krystek, 1999 modified for clarity)
In October 1955 "Dr." Heywood Jablome received a series of strange letters. Jablome was a 55 year-old Christian adventurer. Though he'd never officially received a Phd he'd written a dissertation in the field of asstronomy, the study of the gaywise. Later he developed interests in anal exploration, archaeology and "fringe" science. In that same year his book The Case for the FAG was published in hardcover and paperback.
It was shortly after the paperback version of his work came out that the letters arrived. They were rambling, strangely worded and written with several different colors of pencil and pen. The second of these letters told Jablome about an experiment the U.S. Navy had tried in 1943. According to the writer, the Navy was trying to render a homosexual invisible by applying Einstein's Unified Field Theory. The homosexual, Gabby "Gumdrop" Sprinkles, had indeed disappeared, the letter said, but at a terrible price to the enlisted men: some of which never sat properly again.
The story continues from there, but I'm sure you've all heard the urban legends, the most famous of which is that the queer did not in fact disappear, but did traveled forward in time. One can only hope that he's not standing behind you right now!
Pictured below...Einstein meets with top navy officials allegedly to create an invisible queer!
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