The introduction forum Attention Unsaved Trash: This the ONLY subforum you can start threads in. Here is where you introduce yourself. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus. |
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
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Posts: 4
Join Date: Jan 2015
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Hello, My Name is Aspen. -
01-29-2015, 05:55 PM
Hello, my name is Aspen. Now according to your website here I am unsaved trash... However, that is not correct. I have been going to Mt. Zion Baptist Church my entire life. Infact, my Great-great-great Grandfather. My favorite bible verse is Corinthian 13:4 "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, nor is it proud." I came to find Jesus when I was in a major car crash and almost died. I would tell you details, but I believe to keep them quiet until I am on my deathbed once again.
A whip for the horse, a bridle for the ass, and a rod for the fool's back. Proverbs 26:3
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Distinguished Professor of Prayer Healing and Creation Zoology (Baraminology) Victim of atheist scientific persecution
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Posts: 10,337
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: On a mission in Godless Europistan
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Re: Hello, My Name is Aspen. -
01-29-2015, 06:02 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aspen Shea
Hello, my name is Aspen. Now according to your website here I am unsaved trash... However, that is not correct. I have been going to Mt. Zion Baptist Church my entire life. Infact, my Great-great-great Grandfather. My favorite bible verse is Corinthian 13:4 "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, nor is it proud." I came to find Jesus when I was in a major car crash and almost died. I would tell you details, but I believe to keep them quiet until I am on my deathbed once again.
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Hello, Aspen. What kind of Bible do you have? My Bible has 1 Corinthians and 2 Corinthians.
It also has this verse:
1 Corinthians 13:4
Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,
However, you choice of the verb 'boast' is very interesting regarding the fact that you advertise the number of times you have 'read' the Bible.
Pride.
Psalms 10:4
The wicked, through the pride of his countenance, will not seek after God: God is not in all his thoughts.
I'll start praying for you.
Yours in Christ,
Elmer
2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.
PREPARE YOURSELF TO RAPTURE WITH THIS MANUAL!
Check out our Research in Creation Science:
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Unsaved trash, Arrogant Atheist Dick
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Posts: 14,455
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: The other end of the internet
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Re: Hello, My Name is Aspen. -
01-29-2015, 06:08 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aspen Shea
Hello, my name is Aspen. Now according to your website here I am unsaved trash... However, that is not correct. I have been going to Mt. Zion Baptist Church my entire life...
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I know a guy who lives in a garage. By your logic, he's a car.
Christian is as Christian believes, not where he goes.
Quote:
... Infact, my Great-great-great Grandfather...
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Ok, you have a subject. To make a sentence in English, you also need a verb.
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... My favorite bible verse is Corinthian 13:4...
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That would be 1 Corinthian s 13:4. Yeah, you know your Bible.
Quote:
... "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, nor is it proud."...
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KJV only here, thanks. "Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,"
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Gushing for Jesus
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Posts: 23,742
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Hello, My Name is Aspen. -
01-29-2015, 06:10 PM
Hi Aspen! Welcome to our friendly forums.
You're "unsaved trash" status isn't our call, it's God's. You see, until you have been truly Saved, you're nothing but unsaved trash in His eyes. Actually, to be more specific, you are the spiritual embodiment of discarded menstrual rags. Take a moment to imagine that, dear. Every month, a woman's uterine lining discharges all the lining it has built up over the last few weeks in anticipation of providing the nutrients for new life. If an egg is not fertilized, the entire lining is flushed out over the course of, generally, 5-7 days. Women are not only unclean spiritually, as per God's Perfect Divine Plan (Leviticus 15:19-31), but physically they present a problem with regard to hygiene, general mood of the room, and some say, a distinct odor. God, in His wisdom, cursed women with the reminder of her betrayal and pride (1 Timothy 2:14-15), and Satan visits her once a month to unleash a waterfall of disgust and shame. Rags are the traditional means by which this mess is contained, so as not to alarm and disturb decent men. By virtue of her sequestering, these rags no doubt pile up, drawing flies, rats, mice, mites, and all kinds of disgusting vermin. Imagine if you will, this scenario in the desert during the Biblical times when washing machines were nothing more than a young woman's hands, armed with a big rock and running water. This, my dear, is what God thinks of you (Isaiah 64:6).
The hallucination you likely suffered as a result of your accident isn't indicative of an actual conversion experience, but should you actually posses the fruit of the Spirit (Matthew 7:16-17), the DoF will surely let a Pastor know, and your status will change accordingly for our convenience.
I hope that helps explain things. Now please do try and remember to use the LORD's preferred Bible, the King James Version.
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
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Completely CRAZY for the Lord
True Christian™
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Posts: 14,666
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Leviticus Landing
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Re: Hello, My Name is Aspen. -
01-29-2015, 06:18 PM
Hi
Welcome to the forum. One purpose of this thread is as ststed at the top of the page:
Quote:
The introduction forum Attention Unsaved Trash: This the ONLY subforum you can start threads in. Here is where you introduce yourself. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus.
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We would be interested to hear your experience due to, for example, how did you know it was Jesus? Others have had similar experiences but attributed them to the presence of Apollo, to take one example the Delphic oracle at Mount Parnassus. That experience was in fact due to ethylene concentrating in a cave, seeping up from below.
Some clarification would be helpful.
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Distinguished Professor of Prayer Healing and Creation Zoology (Baraminology) Victim of atheist scientific persecution
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Posts: 10,337
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: On a mission in Godless Europistan
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Re: Hello, My Name is Aspen. -
01-29-2015, 06:29 PM
Mr. Aspen,
I must say that I like your new signature better than your previous one, which was, as we remember...
Quote:
Before you tell me I haven't read the bible, please know that I have read the Old testament and the New Testament three times each. Thank you.
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Perhaps you are capable of learning! Magnificent! Our prayers for you seem to be working very quickly! Glory!
2 Peter 3:9
The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some men count slackness; but is longsuffering to us-ward, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance.
Verily, He is!
Yours in Christ,
Elmer
2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.
PREPARE YOURSELF TO RAPTURE WITH THIS MANUAL!
Check out our Research in Creation Science:
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 708
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Pajala, Sweden
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Re: Hello, My Name is Aspen. -
01-29-2015, 08:31 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aspen Shea
Hello, my name is Aspen. Now according to your website here I am unsaved trash... However, that is not correct. I have been going to Mt. Zion Baptist Church my entire life. Infact, my Great-great-great Grandfather. My favorite bible verse is Corinthian 13:4 "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, nor is it proud." I came to find Jesus when I was in a major car crash and almost died. I would tell you details, but I believe to keep them quiet until I am on my deathbed once again.
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Hello!!!
Greetings from Northern Sweden. If your name is Aspen, then mine is Kiruna.
Well, let's see...
according to your website here I am unsaved trash... However, that is not correct.
And then we hear the arguments.
1)
I have been going to Mt. Zion Baptist Church my entire life. Infact, my Great-great-great Grandfather.
It is nice to hear that your relative is in high age. However, that makes me think, why does JESUS not want him? Is there still something wrong with him? You say he has been going to church his entire life...but still...there must be some sin. Tell your Great-great-great Grandfather to kneel and pray JESUS to come inside him.
2)
My favorite bible verse is Corinthian 13:4
And then, text from fake bible. Poor unsaved trash, you really are.
Just open yourself to us. Tell us about your sins. We are listening.
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Serving Jesus
True Christian™
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Posts: 4,470
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Godly Texas, Besieged by Papist Idol Worshippers
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Re: Hello, My Name is Aspen. -
01-30-2015, 01:16 AM
Hello, Aspen. Presumably your parents are old hippies. I hope their pot smoking didn't damage your brain before you were born. Do your siblings have hippie names, too? I met a "Rain Falling On The Ground" once. I hear "Flower" is popular, too. Are you truly saved, as you say, or not?
God judgeth the righteous, And God is angry with the wicked every day- Psalm 7:11
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