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Reload this Page The Worst Introduction Ever (certainly)
The introduction forum Attention Unsaved Trash: This the ONLY subforum you can start threads in. Here is where you introduce yourself. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus.

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Default Re: The Worst Introduction Ever (certainly) - 09-12-2015, 12:47 AM
My boy. Such anger in your being. Oy, you don't know suffering and anger. I would school you in the ways of God's favourite people except you weren't born as one of us. Please get out of the basement and stop playing COD and go to school

oi vey, no love here
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Default Re: The Worst Introduction Ever (certainly) - 09-12-2015, 05:01 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rabbi Goldschlitz View Post
My boy. Such anger in your being. Oy, you don't know suffering and anger. I would school you in the ways of God's favourite people except you weren't born as one of us. Please get out of the basement and stop playing COD and go to school
Listen up joo-boy;

You don't know what suffering looks like. Just wait until Jesus kills you and sends you to hell.

YIC,

--Pastor Ezekiel

Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: The Worst Introduction Ever (certainly) - 09-12-2015, 12:16 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by computerdemon View Post
Hi! I'm John, I'm fourteen, and I love ...Legos, the Catholic Faith, Lord of the Rings,
Yeah, that's about right - "The Lord of the Rings" and Catholicism are both fantasy games.

Lego is Minecraft for the computer illiterate: you can search the forum for the Christian view of Minecraft...




“We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

Author of such illuminating essays as,
Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.
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Default Re: The Worst Introduction Ever (certainly) - 09-12-2015, 11:56 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by computerdemon View Post
Hi! I'm John, I'm fourteen, and I love Legos, Video Games, the Catholic Faith, Lord of the Rings, Google+, Youtube, The Walking Dead, and memes. I live in Indiana, and my favorite music genre is dubstep, my favorite sports are martial arts and tennis. My favorite saint is Saint Benedict. I prefer Apple over Microsoft, and I also enjoy watching movies. O geez, I'm gonna get flamed so hard by these Landover people for saying what I just said.
Hmm... amateur troll... and not even slightly amusing. A queer nigra does a lot better job of being offensive, and they don't even try. "Worse introduction ever" ? Oh please... not even close.

Friend, I suggest you stop playing on the internets, as you're clearly not good at it, and go to school and start reading the bible (KJV 1611). You never know, maybe some day when you're all grown up, instead of being a flaming homersexual (which path you're clearly on now), you may be moved by the spirit to repent of your queerdom, and serve Jesus.

"With the jawbone of an ass, heaps upon heaps, with the jaw of an ass have I slain a thousand men." - Judges 15:16
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Cool Re: The Best Introduction Ever (probably) - 09-14-2015, 05:09 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by James Hutchins View Post
Friend, just about everyone is better than you. Even Dzhokhar Tsarnaev is a more pleasant person.
Your opinion mean nothing. Only what God says matters. If something bad happens to you, it is because you are bad and God is mad at you. He works in mysterious way.
That meme wasn't pornographic.... and nothing bad is happening to me. The worst thing that has happened to me this week is getting a C+ in Science, which my teacher is letting me redo. I'm having a great week. You sir, need to chill and maybe meditate. Put on some ambient music, close your eyes, and focus on breathing. It's super relaxing.
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Love Jesus Re: The Best Introduction Ever (probably) - 09-14-2015, 05:57 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by computerdemon View Post
That meme wasn't pornographic.... and nothing bad is happening to me. The worst thing that has happened to me this week is getting a C+ in Science, which my teacher is letting me redo. I'm having a great week. You sir, need to chill and maybe meditate. Put on some ambient music, close your eyes, and focus on breathing. It's super relaxing.
Shouldn't you be studying for your Science exam, instead of trolling on a decent, God-fearing website, sweetie?

God created fossils to test our faith.

* * *

My favorite LBC sermons:
True Christians are Perfect!
True Christian™ Love.
Salvation™ made Easy!
You can’t be a Christian if you don’t believe the Old Testament.
Jesus is impolite. Deal with it.
Jesus is xenophobic and so should we.
 Sanctity of Life is NOT a Biblical Concept.
Biblical view on modern-day slavery.
The Immorality of the "Universal Declaration of Human Rights."
Geneva Conventions vs. The Holy Bible.
God HATES Rational Thinking!
True Christian™ Man as a spitting image of God.
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Rebuke Re: The Best Introduction Ever (probably) - 09-14-2015, 06:17 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by computerdemon View Post
That meme wasn't pornographic.... and nothing bad is happening to me. The worst thing that has happened to me this week is getting a C+ in Science, which my teacher is letting me redo. I'm having a great week. You sir, need to chill and maybe meditate. Put on some ambient music, close your eyes, and focus on breathing. It's super relaxing.
A 'redo', what kind of retarded school do you go to?

See, this is the problem with kids today, all abject failures.

Friend, God does not permit 'redos'. It all is part of your permanent record and you will e judged on all of it. You need to stat praying, praying hard and fast for Jesus to take mercy on your worthless soul.

Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Default Re: The Worst Introduction Ever (certainly) - 09-15-2015, 12:07 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ezekiel Bathfire View Post
Yeah, that's about right - "The Lord of the Rings" and Catholicism are both fantasy games.

Lego is Minecraft for the computer illiterate: you can search the forum for the Christian view of Minecraft...
I beg to differ !!!
"The Lord of the Rings" hat the LORD even in its title -So It must be one blessed Book
And CATHOLICISM is the one True Christian Religion that follows yet another blessed Book; The BIBEL !!!

As for LEGO; It is a scandinavian great toy invention and even we priests like to play IT with little Catholic Boys.

I trink you are just jealous that such things are not of American origin .

Ex 20:4-5 Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them: for I the Lord thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me; <--- That includes Mary
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Default Re: The Worst Introduction Ever (certainly) - 09-15-2015, 12:28 PM
"Lord of the Rings"? Surely that's a book about homersexurals playing filthy disgusting games.

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Cool Re: The Worst Introduction Ever (certainly) - 09-15-2015, 02:40 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jim Farmer View Post
"Lord of the Rings"? Surely that's a book about homersexurals playing filthy disgusting games.
Actually no. It's a fantasy novel that represents the Catholic Faith. It's really good, and one of my favorite books.
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Default Re: The Worst Introduction Ever (certainly) - 09-15-2015, 03:41 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dj_Spectre View Post
Actually no. It's a fantasy novel that represents the Catholic Faith. It's really good, and one of my favorite books.
My guess is that the investigation is going poorly for you.

God judgeth the righteous, And God is angry with the wicked every day- Psalm 7:11
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Cool Re: The Best Introduction Ever (probably) - 09-16-2015, 10:45 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Regens Kuechl View Post
Welcome, welcome fourteen year old boy who loves the one true apostolic faith!

I give you my personal word as a Catholic priest that no person in this fine forum will flame you, or if someone dares he will have to answer to me!

We from the Catholic clergy like our young boys unflamed and raw!
GET OUT YOUR <<<< PORN WORD FOR TALLEYWACKER REMOVED - ADMIN >>>>! Either that or you really are a pedo priest, in which case, I'll consider you. Leave the kid alone! Although he is banned, please do seduce boys on the internet. :fear:
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