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Straight 4 Jesus! (Back Door Christians) At LBC, we will cure your perversion of choice (even if we have to stone you).

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Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 05-18-2014, 02:39 PM

Lol, well I do vote Republican, although I'm definitely moderate on some issues, and I have no objection to having a Christian President. But luckily, the crazy liberal left-wing vote is probably more than enough to balance out the crazy right wing, so I worry more about getting another America-hating dictator like Obama than about getting a right-wing nut job.
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Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 05-18-2014, 02:48 PM

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Originally Posted by oldfashionedbrat View Post
so I worry more about getting another America-hating dictator like Obama than about getting a right-wing nut job.
I really don't get why you people hate Obama. He put your country back on a viable economic path and now helps the least able be able to afford health care with his act of affordable health care.

Why would any decent person be against people having medical care?


A whip for the horse, a bridle for the ass, and a rod for the fool's back. Proverbs 26:3
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Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 05-18-2014, 03:04 PM

Ok, I'm really not going to debate politics here. I have other forums for doing that with people who are actually educated and informed in the real world. But to quickly answer your question, more people have lost their healthcare since the passing of Obamacare than have actually signed up for it. And most of those who have signed up for it, only did so because they were forced to after losing their coverage, and now have to pay a lot more for it. Seriously, Obamacare is one of the biggest disasters in American history.
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Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 05-18-2014, 04:20 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by oldfashionedbrat View Post
Ok, I'm really not going to debate politics here. I have other forums for doing that with people who are actually educated and informed in the real world. But to quickly answer your question, more people have lost their healthcare since the passing of Obamacare than have actually signed up for it. And most of those who have signed up for it, only did so because they were forced to after losing their coverage, and now have to pay a lot more for it. Seriously, Obamacare is one of the biggest disasters in American history.
Yes, nearly 8 million people with new access to health care is a major disaster. It thwarts the will of God to ferret out the useless and unproductive leeches on society. But this isn't a political thread dear, and I'm afraid you're avoiding the issue. When I was young, girls were girls and boys were boys. There was no misunderstanding, no confusion. Feminists were easily spotted and easily avoided. Now they are everywhere. Today's girls look like men, which is probably why you find yourself confused about men. I would encourage you to talk to your Baptist minister and see if he can find a girl willing to help you make the change back to normal sexuality. You can find good references about how to conduct this transformation online and at your local library. This will give you an idea of how the process might look.




Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 05-18-2014, 04:52 PM

I actually did look into several years ago, and I still have the books the pastor recommended to me at that time. But then I began to see how hateful a large part of Christianity is toward gays, and I decided that I wanted no part in that. Plus, even the books admitted that it would be a constant struggle to maintain my heterosexuality, and I guess I'm just lazy, I decided it wasn't worth the effort.
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Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 05-18-2014, 04:56 PM

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Originally Posted by oldfashionedbrat View Post
...I guess I'm just lazy, I decided it wasn't worth the effort.
So how is your failure proof of something wrong with Christianity?


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Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 05-18-2014, 05:09 PM

Ummm, I didn't say my "failure" proves there is a problem with Christianity. Although the hatefulness of many Christians was one of the factors that contributed to my "failure." But that's in the past, I've completely adjusted to life as an out-and-proud homosexual, and I would never go back to hiding it or trying to "cure" it. And if, by some miracle, I wake up tomorrow and find myself sexual aroused by a woman for the first time in my life, I would still defend the rights of any homosexual to live as he/she pleases.
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Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 05-18-2014, 05:16 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by oldfashionedbrat View Post
And if, by some miracle, I wake up tomorrow and find myself sexual aroused by a woman for the first time in my life.
You see, you understand that for GOD's grace even such a miracle is possible.

Just pray that JESUS heals your geyhz away.

PRAISE THE LORD!
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Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 05-18-2014, 05:16 PM

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Originally Posted by oldfashionedbrat View Post
But then I began to see how hateful a large part of Christianity is toward gays, and I decided that I wanted no part in that.
All Christians hate gays. It is part of the Christian Faith.

Lev 201:13 makes this very clear. How can anyone profess to love Jesus and be a Christian if they do the exact opposite to what He wants?



YIC


1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.

Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.
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Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 05-18-2014, 06:33 PM

Well I will say this much for you, at least you don't put on the façade of "love the sinner, hate the sin" that so many other Christians do. You just simplify things by hating them both, lol.
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Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 05-18-2014, 06:40 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by oldfashionedbrat View Post
Well I will say this much for you, at least you don't put on the façade of "love the sinner, hate the sin" that so many other Christians do. You just simplify things by hating them both, lol.
No True Christian™ will ever not tell it like it is.

2nd Timothy 3:16 "All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness"
Deuteronomy 4:2 "Ye shall not add unto the word which I command you, neither shall ye diminish ought from it, that ye may keep the commandments of the LORD your God which I command you."
Revelation 22:18-19 "For I testify unto every man that heareth the words of the prophecy of this book, If any man shall add unto these things, God shall add unto him the plagues that are written in this book: And if any man shall take away from the words of the book of this prophecy, God shall take away his part out of the book of life, and out of the holy city, and from the things which are written in this book."
Psalm 12:6-7 "The words of the LORD are pure words: as silver tried in a furnace of earth, purified seven times. Thou shalt keep them, O LORD, thou shalt preserve them from this generation for ever."

YIC


1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.

Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.
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Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 05-18-2014, 08:45 PM

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Originally Posted by FreeFromBrains View Post
I really don't get why you people hate Obama. He put your country back on a viable economic path and now helps the least able be able to afford health care with his act of affordable health care.

Why would any decent person be against people having medical care?
To me it is quite clear why you like Obama so much.
If THE LORD wants to give his believers some suffering, I am sure it is deserved. Medical care is satanic, because it is trying to make everything so easy. With drugs.
Christians pray.
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Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 08-24-2014, 10:48 PM

I like being stoned and gay amputees turn me on. What should I do???
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Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 08-24-2014, 10:49 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hymenos View Post
I like being stoned and gay amputees turn me on. What should I do???
Beg Jesus to wash you clean of sin with His blood.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Black Parade Marcher is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Black Parade Marcher is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Black Parade Marcher is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Black Parade Marcher is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Black Parade Marcher is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Black Parade Marcher is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Black Parade Marcher is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Black Parade Marcher is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Black Parade Marcher is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Black Parade Marcher is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Black Parade Marcher is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 08-25-2014, 01:06 AM

Pastor ezekiel and Dr. Niles and cranky old man ..... i hate you. may your souls suffer and burn in hell and may you be roasted alive by jewish and muslim and communist homosexuals cheers!


Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.
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Basilissa Basilissa is offline
South of the Border outreach program
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Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 08-25-2014, 01:32 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Black Parade Marcher View Post
Pastor ezekiel and Dr. Niles and cranky old man ..... i hate you. may your souls suffer and burn in hell and may you be roasted alive by jewish and muslim and communist homosexuals cheers!
So much hate in your little, cold, dark heart... I pity you.

I will pray for your lost soul
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transPERVERTandgodHATESme transPERVERTandgodHATESme is offline
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transPERVERTandgodHATESme is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.transPERVERTandgodHATESme is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.transPERVERTandgodHATESme is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.transPERVERTandgodHATESme is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.transPERVERTandgodHATESme is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.transPERVERTandgodHATESme is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.transPERVERTandgodHATESme is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.transPERVERTandgodHATESme is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.transPERVERTandgodHATESme is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.transPERVERTandgodHATESme is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.transPERVERTandgodHATESme is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.
Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 08-25-2014, 02:37 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Black Parade Marcher View Post
Pastor ezekiel and Dr. Niles and cranky old man ..... i hate you. may your souls suffer and burn in hell and may you be roasted alive by jewish and muslim and communist homosexuals cheers!
Hate's a strong word...
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Des Des is offline
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Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 08-25-2014, 02:50 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Black Parade Marcher View Post
Pastor ezekiel and Dr. Niles and cranky old man ..... i hate you. may your souls suffer and burn in hell and may you be roasted alive by jewish and muslim and communist homosexuals cheers!
2 Timothy 3:12 Yea, and all that will liue godly in Christ Iesus, shall suffer persecution.

1 Peter 3:16-17 Hauing a good conscience, that whereas they speake euill of you, as of euill doers, they may bee ashamed that falsly accuse your good conuersation in Christ.

For it is better, if the will of God be so, that yee suffer for well doing, then for euill doing.

Luke 6:22 Blessed are yee when men shall hate you, and when they shall separate you from their company, and shal reproach you, and cast out your name as euill, for the Sonne of mans sake.

Matthew 5:10 Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousnesse sake: for theirs is the kingdome of heauen.

Hebrews 12:3 For consider him that indured such contradiction of sinners against himselfe, lest ye be wearied and faint in your mindes.

2 Corinthians 12:10 Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christes sake: for when I am weake, then am I strong.

Amos 5:10 They hate him that rebuketh in the gate: and they abhorre him that speaketh vprightly.


Psalm 137:9 Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones.
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Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Uber Angels Driver Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Golden Bear Award Mission Long service medal, 2nd class Aardvark Asked questions later Heart of compassion Crown of Righteousness The Crown of Crowns Crown of Glory Crown of Incorruptibility Crown of Rejoicing Crown of Life BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Mission to the Philippines Clorox Cured Me QAnon Storm Chaser Anti-Biden British Royalty

 
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Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 01-14-2015, 03:07 AM

And now, a word from our sponsor, without whose generous support this thread would not exist.



Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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dummifluidSwill dummifluidSwill is offline
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Jesus Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 04-30-2015, 10:45 PM

I've opened myself to Jesus and I am happy! The two have very little to do with one another, but still! I am a proud social democrat, genderfluid person, and breaker of stereotypes everywhere! Time to angrily put to sleep these bigoted Republican opinions! Yeah! (this is what happens to constricting societal norms.) I'm also pansexual. And christian. So get over yourselves!
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